beware of the longest chapter ever written. please take your time to read all ascian communications we all had. this post was soo long i needed to devide it in 2.
December 1st
before I actually falled asleep for the night I had 2 small elidibus moments. the first one I saw him (with my eyes closed) in full detail (head-chest image) . and the second one I tried to call him or something like that and he picked up. and then I saw him and he said: “that’s it there you are”. or “Good job there you are, its about time” I don’t recall it entirely anymore sadly. his voice was almost the same as in game only a bit more rasp in his voice like estinien has. but after he said that I was thrown out of the trance state.
well its starts with some NSFW here,
jezzah: I just had sex with Hades I physically felt him make love to me and my soul self came. Gods, I shivered in the real world. I feel amazing and happy. I feel whole. This man is my everything
me: Oh yes I had 2u long sex with eli last night. I came even physically. How does a soul coming feels like? I bet I had it multiple times, but just wondering to make sure
jezzah: Like, idk how to describe it, it feels tense, your body physical self like feels the very slight effects. I could feel my soul self clenching in euphoria and then it kind of washed over into the real world and I shivered. It starts in the astral plane and kind of like a wave wash into the real. He wanted round two but I just wanted cuddles cuz I missed him, he's still here I can feel him. I just want to get the hang of being able to physically feel him now since before it was all in my head and damn feeling whole and complete when he's with me is something I need to get used to. I love him so much and I cannot stop saying it. Gods, I've never been so happy before. I'm crying, I can feel him holding me
me: Oh with me it's like ghost sex, it doesn't even start in the astral plane. I reached it almost before falling asleep. Seeing him, but got pulled out immediately after. Another time same night, him saying, good job it's about time. Or that's it there you are. (1 of the 2 lines). But also pulled out after. I do feel the soul merging though, and him holding me in the physical world.
jezzah can apparently type while having sex with hades. it’s a skill I must confess, so she typed here continuation of her sex with hades, and how many rounds she had.
jezzah: He's trying for round two. How do you stop a horny af ascian???
me: Ah damn. We had numerous rounds lol. I lost count after 5.
jezzah: My soul self is having sex with Hades
me: Right now?
jezzah: Yup
me: Omg how does that feel while you are aware.
jezzah: I'm kinda turned on.
me: Ah yes I have that so many times. Horny instantly
jezzah: Yeah they're going at it pretty hard. Damn, babe, missed me??? XD
me: oeh yeah
jezzah: Came round 3 now. This time it peaked, weakened now it's picking up again. XD. I feel weird XD. Oh fuck yeah feelings it hardcore now.
me: Eli couldn't have sex with me due aetherial depletion of the QHHT for 2 days. So he was like yeah I gonna bang you so many times until we are both exhausted. So it took 2 hours and many rounds.
jezzah: Well he's is putt....ok....I just. Well he's is putt....ok....I just
me: He came more often then I did lol.
jezzah: I get little snippets of what's going on in my mind's eye.
me: Oh I wish I had such luxury.
jezzah: He's so beautiful. I'm moaning irl. My gods
me: How the fuck can you type and have sex at the same time
jezzah: Idk I just can
me: That A skill girl.
jezzah: They're blending together now. It's just a constant ranging ocean now. You don't know how many typos I'm fixing.
me: Lol
jezzah: Gods fuck <3 XD. I'm sorry for giving you the play by play. He's better at sex than my husband <3
( this I can confirm xD eli is also better then my ex.)
me: I am glad I can share mine with yours. The others don't reply on these things. Eli is also better lol. While I am his first lover lol.
jezzah: He's all sweaty now and nnnnnngh. He's a masterpiece of art. I think he might be calming down. Nope. Maybe
me: That XD
jezzah: Making out now. aaaand Starting up again.
me: You think they calm down but a minute later they start again.
jezzah: Exactly.
jezzah: I've lost count on my orgasms. Gods he fits perfectly he feels so good. This will probably take all night Sexy sweaty Ascian is best Ascian XD
me: I had lost the count on eli's comings lol. I came only 3 times. He really wanted me to come big time. How it feels how they are coming is like something shoot inside of you and goes to your womb.
jezzah: Spoon position. I've orgasmed more than him, he's come like....twice now
me: Oh yes eli too but him mostly on top while I lay down like that.
jezzah: He's flipping me all around. Guess he missed me XD. Now he's on his back with me on top of him
me: Oh yes in the beginning when this all started I lost counts on my coming too lol
jezzah: On my back. This man be flexible
me: They are spirits here they just go right through you lol at the same time touching you banging you.
jezzah: I'm getting so exhausted
me: I know what you mean lol
jezzah: The bed in my mind is full of sweat and cum. He's slowing down at least.
me: for how long
jezzah: Yeah think he's about done. Cudddddddles. My whole body is tingly now I'm hungry XD. Yeah he done XD. He's parked between my legs and I can feel it.
me: Ahh good xD I had the longest cuddle ever that night. Did he fill you up completely lol
jezzah: Oh yessss
me: Eli can come very long. Hades too?
jezzah: Slightly bulged. Ah...no, just...a lot in a quick time. Like, I'm slightly bulging just a tad and the bed is covered in cum.
me: How can I learn to see it in my minds eye BTW. I want to see him
jezzah: I kinda don't wanna get up and ruin cuddles but then again...I'm.......he started again. He's faltering. He wants to keep going XD
me: Is you bed in the physical world also filled with cum?
jezzah: no, Just the astral. Though I can feel it. It's gross I hate cum
me: Lol. Eli can let me come in the physical world. I got the bed soaked once
jezzah: If I keep honing myself I may actually physically orgasm irl like for real and not just an aftershock of the spirit sex. Gods I'm sp hungry I want a sandwich XD.
me: Lol and I want to see it. We both got the ability that the other wants lol .
jezzah: Okay he's using my thighs. So, we're both on our sides he's holding me from the back and using my thighs to get himself off. I'm getting horny cuz of this. He's a fucking decent size. And back in he goes. I feel bad the other members have to read this XD.
me: XD
jezzah: Ok, I'm just gonna get up and fix a pb&j I am hungry this man be draining me
me: Did you know you can give them a blow job?
jezzah: I did not and now she/I am doing that.
me: What is his expression on his face when you doing that.
jezzah: Blushing he is enjoying this. I don't like the feelimg. Husband grabbed my ass and I just shivered. My soul self is fingering herself.
me: What does emet do? Ah wait still blowing him aswell?
jezzah: He's now positioning me back into doggy. And yeah sex time again.
me: Be prepared for 2h lol.
jezzah: Tired hungry and multiple orgasms. I would say. Best night ever
me: ikr
jezzah: X3 thank you
me: Yw I am glad I can share my sex stories with you
jezzah: RIP other members XD
after a while
jezzah: The soul sex is in the back of my mind I just wanna eat and pass out XD
me; Nice. I am gonna try sleeping for 2h. Still hoping on the sex dream with eli so I can actually touch him.
END OF NSFW!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jezzah: I think you need to have vivid dreams in the first place. I read a lot as a child
me: I got those plenty
jezzah: I would probably recommend reading more, Train your visualization
me: You can train that by reading?
jezzah: Um...have you read a good book before? A really good book can take you to new places and go on adventures all in your head.
me: Well fantasy stories long ago. But this year Dolores cannon books
jezzah: Fiction books, Lots and lots of fiction books, Artemis Fowl and the Mortal Instruments are a few.
while chatting further about this
me: Omg eli is getting naughty while my ex is laying beside me.
jezzah: XD lol
me: during the day
jezzah: Indulge your eternal lover. I told Hades one day I want to truly give him children. I think that may have sparked the sex session. Cuz yeah he got freaky right after iirc. I'm getting loved on.
me: Oh yeah I told eli also I want to make ascians baby's with him. They get horny as hell of it.
jezzah: Snuggles. I meant it what I said, I love him so much I want to give him children.
me: Yeah me too lol.
jezzah: aaaaand he's getting super frisky and lovey. Wish I could actually hold him. I love him. He wishes the same that he can physically hold me. Aaand it got super sad.
me: I got the exact same issue
jezzah: But cuddles. I love him so so much. If I get stronger I could actually be in the Astral Plane and feel like I'm actually there and I can BE with him in a sense if only temporarily. That's what you should strive for too imo.
me: I knowww but if I get there I am being pulled out after a few seconds
jezzah: Practice makes perfect. The more you do the more proficient you get
me: The problem is it only happens when I am about to fall asleep. During the day I can forget it getting there
jezzah: I have a theory that the spirit resides in the brain. You train that correctly you can be out longer. I mean...look at me. I get vivid visits even during the day.
me: Oh damn.
jezzah: Psst Eli's skin is as soft as Pashtarot's hair. Which is super soft btw.
then we talked about soul twins and what not and this is what I said:
me: Everyone on earth has one I lol. The unsundered can split at will to make an exact clone to be at multiple places at the same time. But that clone won't reincarnate. Also they are linked to the clone. Everything the clone does or namely experience they experience as well.
Eli did this in the beginning. He was kinda shy about having sex (noticed later) . Though the first time when I saw the glyph and all, was the real unsplit version.
After it happened to be a clone lol.
After 1,5 week I noticed it was a clone. I asked him he doesn't need to be shy with me, and kindly ask to merge with his clone again so I got the real him. Not that the clone is less real or anything, but it's just the idea. Though maybe it's only an ability he has, might be so that Hades doesn't or can't do that.
They do got some unique abilities each, mostly things like this and abilities we don't know off. Since our knowledge does not go further then the game.
Hades for instance has a better access to the dream world, while eli has some trouble getting in there, or not able to stay long.
(but yeah as I have written in the previous chapter, hades can do the same, the clone I mean ;) )
short NSFW moment
me: ok had sex with Eli again, short version. this happened after my ex banged me. this isn't the first time eli did this. Eli is possible like; yeah i can let you come more times and i can do/come more then he does muahahahahh.
also when i thought he was done he was still erousing me. i asked if i could collect the sold plushies. i gained a no. (we did it while standing) after that round i was able to get the plushies. i think i gonna make a seperate channel for this subject so it wont overflood the general tab.
end of NSFW
jezzah: I don't think Hades cares enough or he may not actually have the capacity to clone himself. He's been sticking to me pretty hardcore since last night, he's being protective atm. "I can do whatever I want whenever I want when it's in regards to my beloved's safety" what he just said.
me: But you can hear him speak as well?
jezzah: I can
me: Omg With his voice?
jezzah: He seems to have made a room that looks like the Rising Stones and that's where he communicates with me
me: omg How do you do that?
jezzah: When I ask a question I usually hear his answer in my head. I think it's at this point Hades' special talent. He's keeper of the Underworld so it stems to reason his special powers more coincides with the Spirit.
me: Oh did eli ever communicated with you? I can't seem to get to hear them, any of them sadly. I only use the method by pushing me forwards or backwards.
jezzah: Only when he's in the room Hades made. I can only ever communicate with them when they are in the Rising Stones
me: oh interesting
(this is indeed very interesting to read back, because when going into mediation/self hypnosis you need to imagine yourself in a save environment, this is jezzah save spot obviously)
jezzah: Other than that only Hades can reach me
me: Oh. Lol can you ask something to Hades, about me and Eli? If he knows about it
jezzah: Sure but idk if he'll want to answer me. He's kind of hesitant atm
me: oh why?
jezzah: He's afraid of what you'll ask. He knows something is what I'm picking up. So I got "No, don't question me" out of the blue and it wasn't Hades
me: Huh? Who said that then?
jezzah: There is someone else here, someone I don't recognize. They're arguing but I can't tell what's going on. Not an Ascian. Something else. Probably why Hades is being protective. Yeah you're not gonna get anything.
me: Oh, keep me updated. How this unfolds
jezzah: It's at a stalemate. Hades is hovering over me, shielding me from this thing, demon I'm guessing. What the fuck did you want to ask to have a demon get irritated? Yeah there's a fight now. He's fighting
me: whut?
jezzah: Absgfhtha. I don't know woman. I feel safer now. Ok not you but me, it wanted me. Shit.
me: That demon wanted you.
jezzah: Yup. Wtf am I a part of??? Okay, ask your question we are gouda. Thing got shooed off. I have a feeling this is a regular occurrence.
me: I just wanna know. If its true that I am his first girlfriend.
jezzah: “Yyyyeah”. XD That's what he said XD.
me: Omg I knew it.
jezzah: He's embarrassed for Eli.
me: why? xD
jezzah: He's wanted Eli branch out and experience more of the worlds
me: Can you ask if I was originally his younger sister before the sundering. Or perhaps some other close bond, but never got to that point in time.
jezzah: I get a big ass fat yes
me: omg xD
jezzah: Like he's looking at me "why would you ask that? Yes, omfg you knew that" Stupid questions get stupid answers XD. I fucking love this man.
me: Omg, hey is it correct I was a student of Hades back in Amaurot.
jezzah: He's not answering he's done and frustrated XD He's judging you now
me: Oh? Why?
jezzah; "You knew that, idiot". "Why would I answer something you already know"
tk: Well that's technically an answer
jezzah: xD
me: Lol I forgot to ask that in the QHHT session. For the ultimate confirmation.
jezzah: He's just omfg idk how to describe what's going on but he's being sassy about being disappointed in you
me: huh?
jezzah: He's disappointed in you
me: I didn't meant it that way :/
jezzah: XD this is amusing.
me: Hey tell him, that I will work to break the Veils so I can communicate myself.Maybe that will ease him.But yeah until I am at that point, I might get other questions that aren't as stupid as the things I already knew lol.
jezzah: He says you are capable of doing more. He has high expectations for you.
me: Sorry for the stupid question!
jezzah: But he's being patient
me: Is he able to tell what I can learn more? Where to look to study etc? Every guidance is welcome.
jezzah: "Look within yourself" That's all he's willing to tell you
me: OK I think I know. I bought a self hypnosis therapy. Then you can look within yourself.
jezzah: He's implying the answer is within yourself and you need to look
me: Thank him for me. It greatly appreciated all these answers. Also thank you too for the trouble.
jezzah: He's speaking in Ancient now, rambling off something. To me it's a blurry incomprehensible mess. And my headache is getting worse I need to kind of cut off from the spirit world.
me: Take your rest. Thank you so much!
jezzah: I feel like he's trying to give a lesson but I am not tuning in. How's Eli???
me: Is he asking that or you?
jezzah: I’am. Can you ask Elidibus if there is indeed a demon after me???
me: He didn't wanted to answer first. But eventually he said yes. He understood you needed to know. But rather did not let it know. I think because you might worry to much, don't let it live your life. Don't get crazy over it OK?
jezzah: Well that explains a lot. Will he say why? Ok nvm Hades is like no don't.
me: No I cant actually hear him. I am keen into asking the right questions. But asking why I can't hear.
jezzah: Headache evolved into Migraine.
me: Oh no.
jezzah: Trying to tune in is giving me a headache.
me: Please take your rest.
jezzah: My sister confirmed that the demon was sent by the creature that gave birth to me (she means her mom). Also she knew about Ascians and didn't tell me.
me: oh, wait does she plays the game?
jezzah: No she doesn't play actually
me; but she knows about the ascians?!
jezzah: yes, She does
me: how
jezzah: Considering she and I have been siblings in many different ages and worlds. Hmmmm idk you tell me,
me: ask her perhaps? as yshtola would say: "i would like to know more, all of it.
jezzah: Her best friend and said friends husband play.
me: ohh
me: also i withnessed a lahabrea vibe just now. my son was storming into me, like a crazy fan girl would do with an idole she meets.
i was like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh stop it. he get continuing and i gained the idea how lahabrea reacts with all his female fans.
jezzah: XD. Alux says hi to Hades a lot. He adores the little guy.
me: i got no glue what they all think of my 9yo son.
jezzah: How does Eli like him??? Hades adores my kids which is no surprise.
me: if you are feeling better when ever your are able to. i got a question regarding lahabrea. if its true he will retire when i get back, and probably took some training from him or something. but i dont know that. and later will get his title? is this true? i did this via guessing, but i need some confirmation to make sure i received the correct answers. i was never able to receive confirmation on that front. its was 1 of those question i asked m***ie to answer but then she blocked me
jezzah: Well I took some meds so I am kinda cut off atm. Acetaminophen. For my migraine.
me: is said when you are able too. now its not needed
jezzah: I'll keep that in mind. Pain meds tend to dull the senses to the spirit realm but y'all probably knew that.
some sentences later
jezzah: Yes you are to take over Lahabrea's spot but atm he is in no mood to retire atm
me: no i know he is not gonna retire now. i got like 60 years or something left to live here if i remain healthy. its up for lahabrea when he want to pass the torch. but good to know this, thank you. i got no hurry with it, knowing this is already the most precious info i could receive today
jezzah: Took Hades a good minute to get that to me
me: did he needed to ask lahabrea firstly or something? XD
jezzah: He was trying to slip past the mind haze. So, Lahabrea told him this and Hades reiterated it to me. Babe was just a messanger XD. But hot damn a sexy one XD
me: cooooollllll
( but how accurate is this when she is/was cut off from the spirit world? TK received a different answer a year later, or maybe it was correct what jezzah said but it changed. future things aren’t set in stone so yeah.)
jezzah: Still get flutters every time I see him
me: hey aren't you curious about yourself? if you will get back to the source after this life. or even become an ascian like me lol.
jezzah: Oh, my Journey isn't over with. I have shit to do elsewhere
me: i swear lahabrea was inside me head when my Ex and i were talking about creatures. and me saying to create Pokemon on the source, and i had this mechanical laugh of his.
jezzah: Kinda always knew I would be poofed Isekai style to another world
me: oh you will be going to another world then the source?
jezzah: Yuuuup
me: oh interesting i really just wanna go home, no matter what it looks like, i wanna go home. "little lost ascian" ranged in my head just now. not sure who said that.
jezzah: I just want Hades by my side and I'll be happy no matter where I go Happy Wanderer. So I wondered who would take over the chair of Emet-Selch now that he's retired and I got "Someone...she's new though" Like recently recovered ancient new.
me: hmm strange when i ask emet/hades if he is retired.i get a no as an answer
jezzah: That's what he told me. Welp, he was brought back. I think training. Can you ask if he was brought back to train? Because I WAS told he retired. I'm 100% sure
me: to train what then?
jezzah: The "Someone She's new" was said with a lot of hesitation probably because he doesn't trust her. His replacement. Was he brought back to his previous position to train his replacement?
me: correct on all counts, he WAS retired, got back into his emet-selch position to train his replacement. also now that i had a very short talk to him, did you notice him going away? just curious
jezzah: I did, He's back now from what I feel.
me: coooollll. i love the confirmations you can give me xD i desired this for so long
jezzah: Np ^^ thank you for opening my senses to this
me: YW. i am glad to ask questiosn for you. i offered the same back then for m***ie but she never gave me questions. she was finding everything to personal. it was sad. i wanted to offer and also test my abilities to that. i am glad i can be of service to you now.
jezzah: This is practice to hone our senses more and become more in tune. I think M***ie took things personal because she couldn't connect to this plane and got upset. This is just my thoughts and speculations.
me: hmmm perhaps you're right
jezzah: Don't take this personally, Ayane, just let her go and focus on you and Elidibus for now
me: yeah, i am glad i got you now, and i will.
jezzah: ^^ again I apologize everyone else for subjecting y'all to my Ascian Ghost Sex last night XD
me: i made a channel for that now xD
jezzah: I saw XD
me: i wonder what if nabriales would every take a ride of 1 of our other members.
jezzah: He's chillin beside me atm. Idk but he and I went at it.
me: Nabs? beside you?
jezzah: No Hades is beside me
me: ah
jezzah: Nabs and I had sex before but I didn't realize it was ghost sex. Like three times.
me: omg. he is a naughty one indeed. he tried with me once during the day. when i had a naughty thought on ascian babys. but that was before Eli came around.
jezzah: He's handsome I don't mind and now Hades is kinda glaring at me "why him" XD
TK: rofl
me: XD
jezzah: I got an eye roll and a head shake and he went back to staring at the wall.
me: ahahahahha
jezzah: Typical Hades. Yeah haven't seen Nabs since I fully embraced my beloved Sassy Ascian.
me: yeah make me wonder who is he gonna visit next xD wondering if he would take mysi*** hahahah. she had contact with him before, but just talk. but nvm nabs now. isn;t it funny that lahabrea knows what pokemon are? xD. probably through me, if i can remember pokemon as being an ascian in my next life. i gonna create them for the beast master job xD. then pokemon will be real muahahahahhahahahhaha] as far now, pokemon dont exsist. i gained a big no to that. not even a paralell dimension of earth. so yeah FFXIV world is one of the rare occasions of worlds that DO exsist. i hope so much lahabrea happens to be freed by estinien. and fandaniel goes cazy. this:
some chatting later about the next patch (5.4) I came at the replacement of emet.
me: but now that i think of it. why does hades doesn't trust his replacement?
jezzah: incompetence, That's basically it. He thinks she's an incompetent dinglebat.
me: but, why is she assigned to be his replacement then?
jezzah: Ask Elidibus
me: whuat xD i need to think of question firstly. but you mean he found her xD and not emet?
jezzah: yeah Emet had no input
me: ahum interesting ……..is she in the source already or is she a earthling just like us?
jezzah: um.....no not earthling. recently re-ascended ancient. like She's "New" new
me: but sundered or unsundered?
jezzah: Unsundered
me: how?
jezzah: She just recently got released, Idk I'm getting mixed signals here trying to make shit out. She was a reincarnated unsundered, I feel....she chose to live a life on a world. and she recently died and re-ascended.
me: oh interesting but that means she was sacrificed to summon zodiark or to flourish the land.
jezzah: sounds like it, now she's back. Sounding like...she lived in a world of magic like vibrant magic. Ok...she's here trying to tell me about her life on this world. I'm trying to ignore her and Emet is annoyed
me: um i got a question, and i need clarification of this. eli said to m***e that my soul was sundered, but on earth i am whole. what does this mean when i get back? do i count as a different kind of unsundered or something? or close to it. i dont know. i hope you got an answer to this from Hades.
jezzah: so, When you were born on earth you became whole again so, you'll be whole when you return because your shards fused when you were born. That's....what I'm getting I'm sorry they're both talking at once. Ugh...why does she have to tag along. She's wearing Amaurot robes and a mask and I can't exactly see her face but damn is she annoying.
me: ohhh so that why they aren't there anymore, my shards xD. i was told the shards wouldn't rejoin me when i get back. this is because that already happened! thank you!
(sadly they didn’t fused with me and they are still on the shards or elsewhere. this was just an assumption hades made, I believe iirc came back to that the next day)
jezzah: yup. She isn't talky like laha just....way too happy. Like....calm pls. I get enough hyperactivity from my kids and Hades.
me: oh god sound like pinkie pie from MLP
jezzah: Her name starts with an S. Saurie or something. I could be fuckin wrong af. Just that there is an S A and U. Could you ask Eli for conformation???
me: one moment. this is wierd, he didn't assigned her, someone else did? she is gonna be emet-selch replacement and her name isn't saurie.
jezzah: Yeah figured it wasn't her name but It startes with S . So....one of the others assigned her . I just get S, A, and U . I kinda just want both of them to go away because the cacophony of two vibrant ancient voices is too much for me -_- I'm getting dizzy.
me: take your rest. you are the best fact lore checker atm xD
and then the night fell.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 2nd
me: OK lahabrea assigned her.
Also read this, this is the session from M***ie where eli says sundered and being whole on Earth
M***ie: I've met someone recently who has dreamt she is your sister.
E: -there is a name here that I cannot make out and he's answered before I can finish speaking- ? Perhaps yes... A sundered soul in your world is faint but let me see.
The dreams are mostly senseless but it matters not. She calls to me so passionately and teasingly gratingly as only a sibling might. I see. I must ponder this but it is not impossible. We had not thought about souls from our world crossing into yours. Perhaps this is why the imperative is so quiet here.
M***ie: but that seems backwards. Wouldn't you want the souls to be rejoined?
E: But here you are whole and there is no threat but for yourselves, and yours is not the world we live to save.
If I would be whole atm, why does he still senses me as a sundered then?
jezzah: I read that before. Okay one second.
me: Yeah just clarifying here. Because why does he senses me still as a sundered then. Ok
jezzah: I got two different voices going on
I don't actually know
I'm not getting anything clearly
I sense that Eli may have been weak at that point and could only sense a fraction of what he could now and probably misunderstood what he was sensing.
That what I'm getting out of the two arguments going on
me: Hmm why would he be weak atm? Sorry for asking this. Because um they are in the future of what we play in the game. The twins are in their 40's atm. Eli also got never locked up in the CT.
jezzah: I don't know atm. I got two ancient arguing in my head and I'm trying to ignore it. From a long journey, idk the specifics, that was shouted at me.
me: Oh interesting. Oh well if you ever get other details on this, whenever, then please tell.
jezzah: I hate Laha even more now.
me: Why? XD
jezzah: Because of him I have two ancients in my head telling at each other.
This bitch is stubborn and bullheaded.
me: I get the same answers as the previous time I asked. Please wait until Hades is back for answers. (so him alone) The thing is, I asked a couple of things and it came to this. He wasn't weak because of a long journey. He did sensed me correctly as a sundered. Though even that my shards are rejoined, I still sense as a sundered somehow (why is that?) also I won't be counted as fully unsundered when I get back. Do you understand this give allot of questions? It's very contrary info.
jezzah: So in regards to your question that is something you have to discuss with Elidibus as Emet-Selch doesn't actually know, he was trying to discuss something and that idiot over-ruled him. There is a possibility you temporarily split yourself but that IS conjecture and not fact. As I said, this is definitely something you need to discuss with Elidibus alone. I and Emet-Selch cannot rightly give you an answer as it would be a lie or just outright speculation
me: OK thank you. I will fish for possible questions then.
yeah this subject is very vague, because she made things up what she thinks she heard. or its had only a part truth in it. and at the end she says I need to do it myself and Emet-Selch cannot rightly give her an answer as it would be a lie or just outright speculation…..urhmmmm. so I had to go with my own things. I don’t know what happened with my shards but all rejoined I doubt that somehow it just doesn’t feel like it. it might have been an answered in favor and probably I forgot to ask if it was in favour answered. I forgot to record this sadly. I shall need to re-question this but this time my higher self. since this is written in March it will probably in that chapter.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 3rd
me:@ jezzah i got a question though. Are you able to ask Hades when he did said to Eli to (quote) "explore the world" more. If possible to name the date when he said it. Or otherwise in weeks or months. I hope its not too much to ask for. I am very curious to this. :p
jezzah: Months ago, I'm not getting a direct reading here because I am super tired atm. But the gist is months ago. Kind of earlier this year
me: Hmm like January or February kind of earlier?
jezzah: yes
me: Interesting! That's exactly the time I started to dream being an ascian and him being my brother
jezzah; There ya go
ya see she can give truths, but her imagination often takes a run with her.
( posted a dream)
me: I only remember the end of it. the song of Alan walker “untiy”was playing on the background and I noticed an ancient one in my head. (white mask) I was singing the sing with different text that implied that he was my lover long ago. kind of strange isn’t it because I am with eli.
extra note. ofcourse it could have been my lover when I was elidibus’s sister at that point of my life.
another dream that same night
The dream itself was already going on for a pretty darn while. Various strange subjects, the last one before it all started to be aware was about those Chinese cakes . please be advised this dream is like a (small) hentai plot and I was young in that dream aswell. like 16 or so. so please any disturbing things you might think of me after reading this are invalid because iam NOT like that.
Good, I went home, which was my mom’s home this time at the time I was 16yo ( also in this dream), but with the outside window view of my dad’s house (weird huh?) I noticed purple rhododendron blossoming and some other purple flowers I don’t know the name of(searched it up purple gerbera daisy) blossoming outside the window. I knew it was winter and saw a full moon.
Me: flowers?! omg I am dreaming, oh Elidibus! And I stormed upstairs to my bedroom of my own house (lol logic beyond),I opened the door, and saw my eli plushie standing on its own, and his mouth smiled at me (while originally it looks sad/angry).
Me: come on get larger!
After big encouragements he changed into a child first with short black hair, I encouraged him to grow more, and I rubbed his body like clay to make it bigger. His proportions didn’t quite matches. He looked like a 16yo now.
Me: you need to be a bit broader.
Nsfw part here
But that didn’t work out. Then the young lad started to kiss me, I got caught up in the moment and we had sex ( don’t get me wrong this is still a dream and I will never do such a thing in RL and also I (repeat) believe I was presumably 16.) later a grown man with tanned skin entered in to the living room. I felt ashamed I did this and the guy said: cant he be a bit older? (in other words you can conjure it yourself)
I tried again to make him at least look 18, after that, broader jaw line, taller, muscles, everything a guy gets when he turns 18 lol. But it failed alas.
Then I noticed I might waking up, I believe that was also the case going on, but I was put back into the dream again. I noticed that as a sign that I saw the same flowers again out of the same window.
Me: oh iam still dreaming!
I tried again with something or someone else. if it was firstly the plush I cant remember.
The guy that was in front of me was lalafell size but full adult . I was considerably taller then him. He had white robes as for clothing I tried to change it into elidibus. But didn’t succeed by just conjuring. I needed to give him a blow job to make him taller (WTF XD) he enjoyed it obviously, but it wasn’t elidibus . then I thought I was waking up again, and this time it was very close, I even remember I was about to open my eyes. But then I saw the same flowers again.
END OF NSFW!
Me: Yes I am still dreaming!
I have had it with the situation and I went to the hallway of my mom’s old house and screamed into the air: PLEASE can the Real Elidibus come to me?! PLEASE!
I jumped down from the stairs and fell into a bottomless metal walled pit. I wasn’t scared even though I never actually experienced it before I knew this was a dream thing. I was hoping to find Elidibus when the fall would have ended. And kept falling and falling.
Me: please Elidibus come to me!
Distortion was coming, everything turned in gray pixels like an old tv lost his signal kind of distortion.
I was slightly worried I would wake up again. And that I wouldn’t be able to find him. Kept falling and falling.
Then my index and middle finger hooked into a loop of a thick metal rope that was hanging somewhere out of the blue, (the distortion went away.) I grabbed into it, due the weight of the fall I kept falling down for a bit with the rope. But clenched it tightly and the falling stopped. I pulled myself up and saw a metal ladder that went straight up.
I swinged myself toward the ladder and grab a hold on to it. But I kept the rope with me in case I would fall again. I climbed the ladder up. Eventually I climbed up the ladder until I saw elidibus standing across a platform further away. He looked like he was searching for someone, perhaps me?
He turned around and walked to the right to a different platform
Me: elidibus….wait!
I climbed off the ladder onto the metal structure platform with plates you can walk on with tiny holes in it (called grid?)
This felt as a test, and did my out most best not to wake up. and ran towards the place where he was. Sometimes the road was cut off without any plates to run over. So I needed to jump a few times. after that I finally got to the place where he went to the right. I saw some minions walking of eli, laha and igeyorhm, but I ignored those.
When I went to the right I finally saw him walking in the distance but he was allot smaller.
After some running I called is name: ELIDIBUS!
He stopped and turned around
Me: can you at least be of my size? (he was so tiny like shortest lalafell size or something)
He poofed and became slightly shorter then me.
I didn’t care I finally had him we kissed. The victory fan fare tune played in the background.
He changed appearance trying to mislead me thinking it was not him. But I didn’t fell for it. I kept kissing, I felt getting horny and wanted to have sex with him. But that didn’t happen I woke up.
I never felt so satisfied after dreaming. I noticed he was clenched into me when I woke up. I wanted to keep laying down with him, but if I would waited longer details might go away, so I stated to write it down.
I love you Eli, I truly do, no matter your size you will be when I get back.
jezzah: Omfg that's a hentai plot XD. I read the whole thing. You both are getting stronger with your connection good job.
me: I live in a hentai plot ffs. My ex still wants sex, and Eli is like no you're mine. I feel so guilty when I have sex with my ex. I try to avoid it as much at possible. But when it happens, eli is like : you're done? Good, now it's my turn. And visa versa. But eli makes sure the soul bonding takes time, so I can't have physical sex anymore or later only a quicky. (this happened yesterday eve lol)
Now Something different. When I walked into the hallway to put some primer on the damage my parrots created on my cosplay. When I grabbed the shoulderplate I gained a lahabrea vibe over me. Not surprised though he helped me with it. When I was done I noticed the golden right-arm plate was set loose. And glued it stuck again. After that I hugged my cosplay, closed my eyes and saw a shade of lahabrea hugging me back. I thanked him. I believe he said something like: your welcome my dearest student (not sure it was student what he said, because my own voice finished the sentence. )
other subject
me: OK then, I finished my eli mask, and my ex putted it on. I didn't know how to behave . I was like eli please be inside of his body right now (not sure if he can though)
My ex putted on the hood part of the cosplay. (why did it looked so darn hot).
My ex: I wonder if I can kiss with such a long nose.
Me: well with eli in my head says it can.
So I tried well saying sorry to eli in my head.
And yes it's kissable xD.
jezzah: So, I think asking Hades to make a special room just for you and Elidibus would help a lot, I can ask him to do it for you but it would help to have input from you. Ours is the Rising Stones. Idk why I have significance with that as our special area is in Il Mheg.
me: Oh that would be very kind of him. What kind of input? Location? I got no idea.
( I need to get back to this, I need to have a decent save spot in my mind to focus on communication with the ascians while meditating
me: according to eli he can't access the room when it would be finished. I wonder why?
jezzah: He would need to have to have the room resonate with his specific aetherial signature. Input as in what would you and Elidibus enjoy spending time in.
me: Oofff is that possible? I don't know yet. Maybe Hades can ask eli?
jezzah: It's possible, Hades is the expert.
me: Thanks let me know the results when finished asking.
NSFW alert
we got like a ascian spirit sex channel.
me: So my son went upstairs to go to bed. My ex was upstairs to put him in bed.
No one downstairs but me.
I noticed suddenly getting aroused.
I asked if it was eli doing that, and yes and he wanted to have sex on the dinner table.
First we tried, but my to 2 make ringneck parrots got nosy and started talking, “peekaboo, what ya doing?!, kisses?”.
It was so distracting in needed to put them in their cage and covered the cage with the blanket.
For eli it was also distracting I think, he was probably laughing at it.
I asked if we can try it again. Gained a big yes.
Omg so good.
At the moment of both climaxing my ex came downstairs and I forgot to lock the door. >-<.
So yeah he saw me busy for the last few seconds. And decided to bang me rightly after. >-<.
Luckily after that was done and my ex went upstairs to get a towel to wipe the floor. I was able to ask if eli came together with me. Luckily yes.
Now while typing this he is hugging me.
END OF NSFW!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 4th
me: Well eli tend to answer in my favour while the opposite is true :/
jezzah: It's light hearted hades's just frustrated because he knows you can do better. They're obviously biased. Gotta remember they're people too not all knowing perfect beings
me: I know but. Shrug pffft. I hope he will tell things I don't know then. I hope that's fine? But what's with the answering in favour? . It's annoying to ask that after almost every question asked ya know. I told him to stop that, but eli doesn't listen :/
jezzah: So, Elidibus is a little bitch and will do what he wants when he wants same with a lot of Ascians. Hades approved this message.
me: Hmmm typical.
( hehe I must say elidibus changed allot in a year time, he doesn’t answer in favour anymore that much, well rarely, mostly only if he doesn’t know the answers lol)
different subject
we were talking about elidibus being an horny bastard and thus jezzah get replies of that from hades
jezzah: Eli and Hades are horny bastards. Nabs is a pervert. Everyone else is just dramatic bitches. Hades' words. So everyone is apparently a horny asshole according to Hades. He himself included XD
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dcember 5th’
jezzah: So, I keep getting this phrase over and over in my head and I know it's me saying it but I feel like I said it before it's hard to explain. "Please don't leave me like that, don't go, don't leave me alone. Promise me you'll stay." Some variation of that always plays in my head randomly. It's always to Hades. Right now I got "always come back to me, please, someday, be with me". I have a feeling something bad happened between us that made us split and now we're in this situation.
me: Huh how?
jezzah: I have no idea this is a fragment of my memories in my original self
me: But is this scene from the past, or right now at this moment?
jezzah: Past. It's a fragmented memory
me: This does confirm of what I learned from him then. And his next lover was azem but probably years later.
jezzah: Oooh that makes so much seeeense. I feel bad I don't ever want to let him go again. I don't ever want to be without him. I think....my lesson here is patience and learning about who you truly want to hold onto
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jezzah: I had small flashbacks to Amaurot. At first I thought it was just my brain making shit up. Now I realize they were memories. I was a party animal and I dragged part of the convocation to my parties. Ask Eli if he enjoyed my parties
me: I am laying in bed right now, I actually need still some hours of sleep.
For asking questions I need to stand.
jezzah: Ok I'm gonna have you try something kk???.
me: ok
jezzah: Close your eyes and focus on Eli. If you know how he feels in the void try and focus on that. Just clear your mind and try and align your being to the Astral Plane. Tell me if you can feel him or sense him or see him
me: OK will try, only my visualization isn't that great, I got allot to practice on that point. I will try right now.
jezzah: This is supposed to help you strengthen your connections with him and allow you access to the astral plane. It only works with the person you're Soul Bonded with.
me; Good, any advice is welcome!
jezzah: This is what I do with Hades. I can hear him in my head and see him because of how closely bonded we are. Even when I just realized he's real. How'd it go???. Tell me later I'm heading to bed night night
me: I gained some qhht session myself lol.
At first eli wanted to redo that sex that he wanted when I went to the regressionist.
Even though every image was hardly visible. But still gained info in my head.
Later he warped me to the past made a void to go through and I saw myself getting a convocation crystal from emet-selch early on. Elidibus said, I would 1 day earn a title within the convocation but which one was unknown at that time.
Sadly mine got destroyed during the sundering. (his voice was halfly mixed with my own, so I hope this info is correct)
A saw allot more or actually gained info it was still hardly visible most of the times, and allot if hugs and kisses in between but could not actually feel him yet. I will tell more later, I am freaking tired now.
After I gained the crystal.
I saw the worlds end happening, before zodiark was summoned. Even saw mothers running with their kids and baby's in their arms. It was heartbreaking.
Later I saw a convocation meeting on what to do with this.
I saw them sitting on a big oval table Elidibus at the head of it, lahabrea about next to him. Azem at almost the other end.
Surprisingly I heard lahabrea actually talking with his actual voice so not mixed with mine.
Lahabrea: what if we could summon a god like being to save the world. It will require sacrifices to summon it To gain enough aether.
Elidibus clenched his first: I will do it. For the salvation of our world.
(I probably missed a few lines in between)
(additional note: hmm I wonder if those missing lines were the ones that Loghrif originally volunteered and got blasted down quickly and then eli said he would do it? because this was before 5.4 so unknown missing info at that point. its sound logical though considering they wont tell you ANY spoilers of endwalker, elidibus just doesn’t answer the question. I guess allot of what will happen in EW also happened on the real Source)
Azem stood up: no I will not agree with this. And azem left the convocation.
Elidibus stretched his arms towards the walking away azem. : don't leave us! Ugh.
The next scene where Elidibus was being sacrificed to become zodiarks heart I was already a member, so that went pretty darn fast.
The sacrifices to summon zodiark weren't as much as in game, rather 33% instead of the game's 50%.
And 25% to save the world and replenish life. If I saw that correctly at least.
I asked for things what happened after the sundering. I was shown how the current male wol went to the first without the known exarch we know from the game.
WoL had a chat with hydaelyn/minfillia, she said to go to the first, and needed to crystal tower to get there.
Next scene I saw Cid working on some computer like devices to activate the CT and to warp the WoL to the first.
But the CT somehow copied itself and went with it.
Ryne and gaia we there from the beginning as comrades. And a male cat mage, not the exarch /graha but Almost just as skilled.
The battle between the wod and Elidibus did happen in the CT.
The mage cat in combination with the azem crystal they blasted eliWol and untempered him. I saw the same scene as in game when Eli sat there on the ground.
Afterwards he wasn't locked up like in game, he went to the lifestream to rest instead
jezzah: So I helped?
me: He he, yeah though I needed to get through the steps I remembered from the QHHT session to finally see a little bit even though it were more shades. But yeah this: I was wondering if Hades can confirm any events on this. If it actually happened as I saw it.
jezzah: Keep practicing and honing in on him you could communicate with him while awake
me; Ugh yes that's exactly what eli wants from me to be able too. I got a long road to go.
jezzah: You can do it head pats, Also Hades confirmed
me; Nice! :D
jezzah: I always saw Mitron as a woman but the current Mitron is male
me: Lol mitron was voiced in 3.x a heavy grumpy growling voice he had.
jezzah I guess me remembering Mitron before the job shift. I was friends with her
me: Oh on that manner
jezzah: Yeah Hades confirmed. Apparently Mitron was a woman many many many years ago (before the end obvi) and she and I were close friends. She didn't have many friends but I was one of them. Yeah Hades confirmed and told me hence why I kept thinking Mitron was a woman.
me: Nice to know!
so yeah before the Mitron we know as male. it was a female. I gained the same info as Jezzah did. there was a job shift at some point.
me: Oh BTW, Was Hades in our house last night? (our night 12am?) we heard like things falling like coins or something but nothing was to be seen. I laughed about it. My ex was freaking his shit out
When I said, it's probably 1 of my ascian friends to scare you. It stopped for a moment. Later 1 more time. Then it stopped.
jezzah: No, wasn't him. Lahabrea
me: That's what I thought too xD
me: I asked Laha just now it's, it was him. And he has, some grudge against Christian crosses (my ex went to the place with a cross) . But it not vulnerable to like demons etc or anything.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 6th
so we stayed over at my ex’s parents house which is sorta hunted.
me: Poor eli, he felt weak in the morning. Maybe he was protecting me the entire night from evil shit in my ex's parents house. I allowed him to take some of my energy, and started to bang me afterwards. This pretty much cured him .And he came big time, like 30sec long Cumming if not longer :p .
My ex confirmed it was surprisingly peaceful during the night. Very rare/unusual he said.
I asked eli if he protected the both of us.
And he did. But only protected my ex, because I still live with him. Luckily the sex with eli, replenished his strength. Hehe
jezzah: nice. So, Hades told me something. When I was trying to get back to sleep. "I am yours, I am yours. You will be with me when you die naturally, of course" So if I die by suicide or accident I get reincarnated. Can't be with him if I don't die naturally
me; Yes suicide creates karma which results in forced reincarnation.
me: BTW, I asked Elidibus a while ago.
The 1 and other things about the rejoinings.
They found a way to rejoin the worlds without mass destruction. And its hardly noticeable for both sides (shard and source).
As far as I know, zodiark is defeated and no longer around, so he won't come back. The ascians only want their people back. And when every rejoining has happened, the ancients will be reincarnated instead summoned back.
I was, wondering if Hades can confirm this? Or if its something different that he could tell how it's going atm or will happen.
jezzah: Well it's kinda peaceful atm on the Source, Nothing really is going on. They're just collecting people off source at this point. So yes to answer you.
me: So drifted off souls that original belonged to the Source I take it? like us.
jezzah: yes
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jezzah: We're so lucky to have our Soul Mates with us
Is it possible for Ascians to reincarnate so to speak? Unsundered to just plop into a newborn and live life? Cuz he wants to do that next life new world
With me
me: If its even possible then he will lose his memory. And I know those are very dear to him, he will forget where he once lived.
And body hopping into a newborn can I think only on the Source. It can't be done anywhere else because of free will etc.
He can better wait for you to grow up in your next life.
jezzah: I guess
He'll do what he wants
I want him that's what I know
I want to be with him for eternity and beyond
me: Um isn't it better to become an eternal spirit like an unsundered then?
You that is.
jezzah: Yeah but that ain't happening any time soon
Like I said I'm supposed to go to another world after I die
I can spend time with Hades before I'm forced to go
I feel like I need a few hundred more year before becoming whole again.
me: Hmmm good luck in advance then.
Perhaps when you are whole again and able to return to the Source you can be physically together.
jezzah: I know I hope. I will never leave him.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
this one I didn’t received an reply upon but “gateway to other worlds”stood out to me
me: 4th wall hitting
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dec 7th
me: I wish I was able to touch eli myself.
I believe he held my hands when I finally laying down in bed. (After 12am) . I turned so emotional because I could feel his hands in mine.
jezzah: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I FEEL HADES TOUCHING ME, like, That's the best feeling in the world. I get super euphoric happy crying. Just I feel his touch and I know everything will be ok
me: Hey got a question.
This (end if the) morning I had, sex with eli, but he whent away soon after, usually he stays and some bonding things ya know.
I asked if he left directly after I gained a yes.
I fished out Something was on the urgent matter and he couldn't stay.
I was wondering if Hades left too when you were asleep. Or perhaps he knows what was going on?
jezzah: No, Elidibus only business
me: ok
jezzah: You have a very very important man ya know. He's the Emissary.
me: :smilesweatdrop:
jezzah: There are going to be things only he does
me: I let him where ever he is needed. Just curious with what exactly. Especially here on earth.
jezzah: Emet-Selch is the Grand Architect. He builds things, not just buildings but societies and governance. I'm getting morning snuggles. Psshh we don't know that's something Hades doesn't pry on. He's curious but he knows better than to butt into the Emissary's business.
me: OK no problem
jezzah: I'm actually pretty impressed with what my man does.
me: :D I bet you do
jezzah: Do you know how much intelligence and forethought it takes TO BUILD AN ENTIRE SOCIETY FROM THE GROUND UP??? Like Garlemald could have been something. I'm sorry I'm gushing. I'm just a lowly historian over here. I'm getting told I'm important too but.....
Ok ok apparently being keeper of the World's Largest Library is a big deal, I'm a bookworm XD. Ok not just a library but a museum too. Aya can you confirm what I was told?
me: I am not at home right now. Please wait .
Please tell me details from what has been Told to you and especially where. (like on the Source or something)
jezzah: Ancient Amaurot. Hades told me my job was important as I oversaw the keeping and distribution of historical knowledge from around the world.
me: Oeh interesting
jezzah: Yeah, there was a massive building in Amaurot where Azem came a lot. That's all I remember
It housed a lot of ancient historical information from all around the world
"I wouldn't say in charge but you were pretty important"
Whatever that means.
me: i get a no from eli. asked in multiple ways.
jezzah: Why was I told then. He doesn't lie. Well he did say not in charge -_-
I'm gonna cry. Still not important as my husband. It seems. My self esteem took a massive hit
I don't feel good now. I feel pretty pathetic.
"Who you were then is not who you are now. You have every opportunity to make something of yourself in this world and I still love you no matter what."
Ouch my heart
I misinterpreted what he was telling me earlier
But....my heart ToT
me: ooff yeah i know this feels. especially if you discover that certain answers were said in your favour earlier. now i ask that by default and if he did i will get the correct answer after that. i do not blame for the in favour answering, they want you to feel good about it. but i got nothing on in favour answering. i want the truth and nothing but the truth. even if that would make me cry
jezzah: He was telling the truth I got carried away. I wasn't in charge of any massive library.
me: also he is right what he said there. i would be only happy already when i was from the Source originally and lived from before the sundering. ofcourse you are wondering who you were and you wanna know. i wanted that too. especially if your dreams throw you directly into the depth being an ascian. like"here is your legacy, now stop hating us or you would just hate yourself" that was not actually said to me, but i figured that was the message if i think about it now. i listened to that. i figured i would hate myself instead if i woudn't start to like them.
jezzah: I was just a pleb
me: oh pat pat. we can't have it all. be happy that your once lived in amaurot. people like us are extremely rare on earth from what i came to know. and earth got like 7 billion people. i wonder how they even found us. hmmmmm. probably took some effort.
could you ask hades, how they find people like us that originally belonged to the source?
jezzah: Remember Hades can see the color of our spirit
me: true, he is also the first one you will see in dreams.
jezzah: Also remember Soul Bonds are very special, They found us because our souls cried out to them and pulled them to us
me: well emet found me first lol, i wasn't soul bonded with eli yet in that time in january/February
jezzah: I've always been Soul Bonded with Emet, Also Soul Bonds were very rare in Amaurot and still are pretty rare
me: hmmm ya sure? because back in that time they were immortal, weren't couples soul bonded by default?
jezzah; No, That's not how Soul Bonds work. Soul Bonds are when two souls are born in resonate harmony with each other. They are BONDED. I've kinda learned that Souls can Bond suddenly too but that's like really really rare. Like an Ultra Rare Shiny Pokémon.
me: lol, but how does that explain with me and eli ?
jezzah: Hmmmmm so Soul Bonds can take many forms, y'all probably didn't realize things because you were siblings. Being Soul Bonded doesn't automatically mean lovers. It just means your souls resonate in perfect harmony with each other. You're drawn to each other and love being around each other and hanging out. Best friends siblings and yes lovers.
me: but we got like ya know sex and all. that does mean we are lovers then right?
jezzah: In this life yes you are lovers, It just depends on the circumstances of that life you're living. Souls are Bonded for eternity.
me: well as far as i know will be going back to the source after this life. can hades confirm this?
jezzah: He says yes but he's a bit unsure, He doesn't really have control over the Life Stream here. He doesn't have full control.
me: ah understandable, i hope hades or eli will pick me up when die in this life. then i can finally go home.
jezzah: Either Hades or one of his underlings, He told me to tell you underlings. He was very specific, underlings.
me: though i read about Earth going into the 5th dimension in about 2023. ( we are now in the 3rd. ) i think it might be a sundering on it own, since we wont notice at all. the 3d still continue to exsist along side the 5d. like a spiritual paralell world. spiritual people can deside to go to the 5d. while their 3d bodies continue living automatically as programmed robots. in the 5d you dont need food or sleep etc, you are pretty much an ascian there without a host xD. but i rather go home instead. i will try to search it up again in the Dolores cannon books.
though the year count might be shoved up. i mean a session in 2001 said it would take 22 years for that to happen. anything can change in such amount of years.
but the actual new earth will happen its even predicted in the bible, but that might take up another 4 billion years >.< when we clash with the other universe is my bet.
jezzah: I do feel like something big is gonna happen soon like a massive shift. 2025 I feel. like it's soon. but there's gonna be a massive socioeconomic shift here. it's gonna be very very messy. between the next 5-10 years. I've told Jon I could feel a massive revolution coming. People are getting so sick and tired and fed up
me: and what about the spiritual shift?
jezzah: I 'm not exactly sure about that. All I know is something is gonna be going down soon. Felt this for a few years
me; wait a minute. my ex asked lahabrea once a month ago or so. when the USA would fall. so we were saying number of years. it ended between 8 and 10 years O-o iirc. asked through me.
jezzah: yeah about
me: thats the reason i cannot feel it. i dont live there
jezzah: That's the shift, america will be the central catalyst for shit hitting the fan. cuz we're all a bunch of backwater fuck wads.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me: The irony of the Eden raids.
Without giving spoilers. I was wondering the past few days if i would happen to be reincarnated as a mortal on the Source instead of being/staying an ascian/ancient. If Elidibus would find me when I grew older there. Omg I can cry now, cry fuel in eden raids. I haven't played myself du lack of time I watched cutscenes online.
(remember this info for future October 2021 chapter)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dec 10th
me: Ah thank god, I managed to talk with lahabrea again.
Last time he was poltergeisting the shit out of my Ex. My ex went up the hallway with a Christian Cross, and that scared lahabrea away. And stayed away.
Now that my ex is away for the yearly car check up. I was able to reach him again.
I missed him.
Talked about fandaniel if he was like that in the game.
He wasn't personality wise, but yes insane. And they (the unsundered) hated him only for recreating the final days.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dec 11th
me: Today i slipped through my ankle due some water on the floor.
My fall was broken to hold me on to the couch. But my ankle hurted allot.
When i took a seat on the chair, i focused on eli asking if he could heal my ankle so i can do my work.
I think i sat for 5 min and it didn't hurt anymore. He is sooo sweat. Of course i thanked him.
Eli didn't had any emissary errands today, he was mostly around the house.
jezzah: awwwwww
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dec 12th
So I was in the in between state of dreaming and waking up.
I saw a sword pointed at my face, I wasn't scared but felt uneasy.
I asked for Elidibus to come. And I felt his presence joining with me while laying down. (usually I can't really feel it when laying in bed). I woke up and wondered where that sword went. Then directly realised I was wake.
I still felt his presence inside me, it was so comforting.
But I knew he had some work to do (I ask that every evening before bedtime)
so I said : thank you eli, and if you still got some work to do, then you can go.
Not sure if I saw it correctly, but in a vague shade of him in my head, smiled and went out of my body and then teleported away like goku in dbz. (so not the ffxiv variant or ascian Magick)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dec 13th
here I will post an important dream that cannot wait until I come by at the dream section of the story:
Title: the horror and blessed
OK the nightmare started with eli saying he was a demon that was using me etc etc. He was, standing 20ft away or so from me.
(this is the result of my ex's doubt if eli is what he says he is).
I was heartbroken, devastated, crying my eyes out. A random in between thought came across my head that I wondered if Jezzah's Hades could also be a demon using her. After collapsing of emotions I turned me head away from that thing and closed my eyes. Shortly after I heard a voice. I opened my eyes and looked at the place that thing was standing before.
And there he stood, the real one (but I didn't know that yet).
He said he was the real one, who cared about me. (Making arm gestures of explaining.)
I said I didn't believe him anymore I said I had a hard time to believe him and grew suspicious. .
His arms lowered to the sides of his body. Understanding the situation I was in now. (but he was possibly heartbroken by this too)
I turned around and floated away (flying/hovering above the ground. Me ex was walking 20ft away behind me.
When I stopped and turned around I saw eli talking with my ex. Eli was, also flying above the ground to be on eye height with my ex. (eli is like 178cm and my ex 192cm).
I couldn't hear what eli was saying, but he used a young boy's voice. And I wondered why he was using that (probably to reflect his innocence) . He did had the adult body though.
I think eli was telling my ex he was the real one.
My trust in eli returned a bit.
I continued floating and turned a corner.
I saw a small pond with a love couple of swans. That took off and flew into a portal to the Source.
Eli: come let's get through it.
We were gonna chase the swans. I think eli went in first, because I can only remember my ex flying aside me.
It was under water, and we flew through it, (well flying motion like in dbz)
After a while of flying swimming I tried to get out of the water to go up. But that didn't work. My trust in eli was more or less returned in the time of swimming.
After this I dreamt that I woke up that I dreamt this, and was talking to my ex about it:
Me: I have to tell you a dream i just had.
Ex: what is it?
Me: you were right.
Ex:?
Me: that you said eli was a demon pretending to be eli. I am heartbroken but let me tell you everything.
My mom was around and cleaning something.
Ex: don't you wanna tell you mom too?
Me: no, then I will get another preach, which I can't use right now. (I was crying all the time)
I wanted to continue telling but I woke up.
I woke up with the most intense hug ever, laying on my side with my arms crossed.
Thoughts about him forced himself of desperation into my dreams to regain my trust in him swarmed into my head.
(gained confirmation later on all my thoughts)
Thoughts of He went into my dreams instead of waking me up was because if he woke me up I wouldn't trust him anymore.
I was very thankful for him doing that.
After a while of thoughts I started to cry.
Saying I love you many times.
After that I realised I was hugging my eli plushie extremely tied all this time.
It felt as a extra sign that it was all right, and that he Is the real one that loves me.
I wanted to continue sleeping, but decided to write it down firstly.
I ended with a message to him:"
Thank you Elidibus, I love you still, till to moon of the Source and back and even more than that.”
I went back to sleep. He tried to have sex somewhere in between I let him a bit, but I couldn't stay awake. So I had to turn it down the continuation sadly .
6h later I woke up again. And started to cry again. Realising during the crying that the intense hug was because he was afraid of losing me and possibly he was crying too at the point.
jezzah: Awwwwww, That's an intense dream. they love us enough to put their immortal lives on the line for us. Willing to die a permanent death if it will keep us safe, at least that's what Hades tells me. He's definitely a theatrical drama monster but he's a real sweetheart. And Elidibus is a reserved soft hardworking man who is one of the sweetest people ever. Don't doubt them for who they are it's obvious Elidibus loves you and Emet-Selch loves me.
me: I cried half of that day just because he forced himself into my dream to save our love. And the swans omg. Swans are a symbol of eternal love, and they flew back to the Source...... It symbolizes eli and me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me: I realised something today due this pic.
In my dreams they don't got the wings and the circle part of the hoodie anymore. Not that they are lower ranks or anything. But it symbolizes Zodiark and they are untempered atm.
The shoulderplates are less spiky in dreams. The symbols on front and back are visible in dreams, well the ones on eli’s robes that is I can’t recall any purple markings on the back of the others. For the rest of the armor it's the same.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dec 15th
I told eli in the morning that tomorrow is my birthday.
He didn't know that. And he is gonna stay present all day and this night xD. At least he pretty much said that with yes/no answers.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dec 16th
so I had some Bday sex with eli, and I came to know the name of the stand he likes the most “sniper” xD.
So my ringneck parrot Griffo begged for the cake bottom. Saying "lekker ding" (Dutch for someone who is hot)
In my head I said eli too.
And felt a strong hug from him.
jezzah: Has he told you his real name yet???
me: I can't actually hear him speak yet. So I don't know
jezzah: Keep working on your connections with him and one day you can hear him
TK: Ill keep hoping that you can hear him
me: Thank you.
It will be a long road to get there since it pretty much telepathy.
I do get the indication that if he speaks I hear it with my own voice and thinking it's an thought of my own. It that a thing how it's starts with?
Because some thoughts are confirmed later when I ask with my own method atm.
jezzah: Yes, you are correct. It starts off as thoughts and the more you tune into those thoughts the easier it is to distinguish between your own thoughts and theirs but even I still have a little trouble on that front especially if I'm tired but it usually takes me less than a minute to realize who was talking. I've been telepathic my whole life it's one of my talents. I rarely use it so it's not as cultivated as it should be. Maybe your talent is something else and that's how you can communicate with them. Everyone has a natural spiritual talent they can cultivate. Or two if you're really favored by the Gods.
me: Well according to eli, when he still spoke to M***ie. I should be able to break through the Veils and then hear him in the waking world. Sounds like telepathy right?
jezzah: If you can actually hear him it's not telepathy anymore. I can only hear them in my mind. If you can actually hear them then you have a better more powerful gift than I do. If you can hear them with your ears and not your mind you are able to physically interact with the Astral/Spiritual plane
me: Do you got any memories left of how you did that?
Or perhaps got an idea how to start?
jezzah: I just had it, born with it. It's kind of something all kids have? But not really. It stems from powerful magical bloodlines. Ancient bloodlines. My kids can interact with spirits. Alux always greets Emet with a hi. Loki is scared of that world and likes to have the door open to his room. If you know you come from a magical bloodline you can cultivate that talent
me: Sadly I don't know.
It got weakened thus far I can't reach it on my own, well not as easy to be born with it.
My mom used to be able to see gnomes and fairys! But lost that talent later on.
Her grandmother visited her in her dreams when she died. My mom wanted to bring her grandma home to show to her siblings.
Her grandma told her, her siblings wouldn't be able to see her.
So yeah the dreams are a thing from my mothers side.
Also I can't remember I had any spiritual gifts as a kid. Or else my mom would have told me.
Except the dreams.
jezzah: Oh that's useful information
Yes you come from a magical bloodline. Very strongly from the sound of it. If you cultivate your gifts your dreams can be VERY powerful.
me: Sigh, now, where to start and how. I don't have always the control over my dreams. Usually I get a better story if I let it happen.
because if I am actually know that I am dreaming, I am like lahabrea doing crazy magic stuff. (Insert maniacal laughing).
jezzah: That's something that should have been passed down in your family but it's been a rocky time for magically inclined families.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dec 17th
When I was awake but tired and my eyes closed I gained a clear image in my head.
Eli reaching out his hand saying : come with me.
Sadly my body decided to turn sides and I lost the image.
I looked like this but in normal colors, his head straight and his hand more flat. And of course the correct claws.
but mirrored
this day was a special one. just so you know my sis doesn’t play the game at all. and only heard some info through me. and only heard in vague detail about the past-life regression I had.
me: My youngest sis just had a connection with eli, on my request.
Even though my question solely wasn't answered. But gained a lot of other info.
here an entire typed our WhatsApp chat:
I send her an image of elidibus so she would know how he looks like.
and so after her meditation she started (nickname Xoe):
Xoe; Okay so, in the beginning of the meditation I got through some things. is it true that he tends to grab your right hand? I got through he was your (personal) protector. and he laid his hand on my right shoulder and he said: “I’m always with you”. for the rest I only so a note written with red feather pencil (quill) . a sorry note. Sorry he had to do that, Leave you back then. that’s all. was very good meditation though!
me: sorry for what?
Xoe: sorry having to leave you back then.
me: (insert cry emoti), owwww (I was literally crying on the inside because I was at the grocery store at that moment)
Xoe: ( she pointed out the right shoulder thing again) this.
me: was that for me?
Xoe: yes, who else? I asked for you, I’m just a channeler
me: ( sweatdrop) well but what’s with the relationship I got with him now?
Xoe: I don’t have an answer to that. what about him holding your right hand sometimes? me: yes, more often even both.
Xoe: yeah, that’s what I felt. he holds your right hand.
me: what does that mean?
Xoe: I think it means he’s still watching over you. but I don’t have deeper details. this is all I got. and some symbol or thing.
me: if you got the chance to ask what’s with the relationship between us. I would love to know more of that.
Xoe: I think, I wasn’t allowed to know yet or ever.
me: oww
Xoe: I have no idea
me: no prob thank you!
Xoe: and the symbol was something like this.
( she sended me a picture she drawn with her finger on her phone, it was a bird like thing in the exact same pose as my sigil! I never told her about that!)
Xoe: and the “head”of the symbol was shining bright light.
me: wait!
Xoe: (eyes emoti)
me: my sigil/glyph
Xoe: WOAHH that’s funny! I do see the similarities.
me: it started in parts back in September. first I only saw the bird/hawk as a stick figure. later I dreamt the rest of my sigil.
Xoe: wow cool. that’s crazy. cause I asked.
me: what did you asked?
Xoe: “can you give me information that will validate my information to give her.”
so it’s a confirmation. in some sense. that whatever I said or saw or felt was genuine. but I don’t know how deep.
me: omg it does feel like it.
Xoe: right?? I did think about some bird. and then the symbol came to my head. U know so yeah that’s pretty cool.
me: I was immediately alerted when you showed me that bird.
Xoe: exactly
me: I was like wtf.
Xoe: I said to them, “I need something that triggers her”
something , they just showed me that, as a validation, that I asked for. cool!!!, this is truly amazing, it worked! and your drew it blue, and I chose to draw it blue as well. not a coincidence.
me: well it was actually the only color pen I had with me, it was during elfia. if it was a red pen it would be red.
Xoe: so funny!
Me: if you ever speak him again, tell him I love him.
Xoe: alright, he knows I also felt a strong connection
me: omg you can do that so quick?
(she mentioned an example of how with a friend of hers)
Xoe: the type of connection you have with elidibus, is not from this world. and cannot be described it in words. but if I could describe it, I would say I felt something huge, huge love, overwhelming.
me: perhaps because he is from a different world ;) but very nice to hear the confirmation on this of our love.
Xoe: yes exactly.
me: even though not directly asked.
Xoe: yeah!
me: this is exactly what I needed. another ascian fan (Mysi***) told me she wouldn’t do that for me, because I have to believe in my own method, which is true in some extent. and I respected her choice eventually . but this is so precious to me, thank you <3
Xoe: yes!! cool!!
(I came home from the grocery store)
me: I didn’t had time to cry about the first part. when yo told me. about the sorry note. I was in the Jumbo. I am crying with a smile.
Xoe: yeah :/ awh don’t cry. he had to do it. it was something you would not understand (at that time). it was something big.
me: what, sacrificing himself? that part?
Xoe: yes
me: I do understand. (well yes now)
Xoe: and writing the note, the sorry note, was with pain, hard to finish. I could see that the note, it was written halfway. and there was trouble finishing it.
me: perhaps because you don’t know everything in detail maybe. the game is like 80% accurate.
Xoe: prolly it’s funny he took the red feather pencil. i don’t know what that means.
conversation went about something else and then I came but that the quill part, because I asked what it meant via my Ex.
Me: btw [redacted] said the red feather stands for something drastically important.
Xoe: could be.
then we were talking about other things that aren’t related to this.
2 days later I sended her a combined image of her bird and my own sigil.
me: did it looked like this? (see my face glyph on twitter to see a part of it)
Xoe: YES!!!!!
me: awesome
Xoe: WTF, when did you drew this?
me: just now. I combined both images, and noticed some parts were from a different perspective view point.
Xoe: cool.
me: thanks for the confirmation!
Xoe: yush!
so I let the others read the major important parts of it
jezzah: I'm getting confirmation that they're actually real and I'm not just going crazy
me: Whut, they are real. I already knew that xD. They just can't show themselves because of the game. Or no fucking one got even the echo here to see them without meditation. And I mean seeing with open eyes. Not in your minds eye. The red feather BTW stands for something drastically important. According to my ex.
So it was a very important message.
jezzah: I know they're real but I got doubt because I live with an Atheist. Also I haven't been interacting with Hades. I also feel a lot of doubt that he's really mine because I have shit self esteem and I'm basically a nobody, why am I so special to be bonded to him. I love him to bits and pieces but why do I deserve him?
me: And he doesn't give you answers on that matter?
jezzah: He's comforting me and trying to reassure me that he loves me, he doesn't have an answer on the bonding thing because that is out of their control, he says he's happy it's me though. So when he first showed himself in Stormblood I instantly felt he was different than the other Ascians, I could feel there was something about him but I couldn't figure it out until after I finished SHB.
me: Hmmm interesting
jezzah: Like I wanted to hate him, at the time because, ya know Big Bad Ascians are the bad guys. But I didn't, he amused me. And in SHB I was like, This guy is kinda cool, I wanna fren. And after I'm like, He's Soul Mate I wanna fuck him XD. His insane Theatrics are super amusing, like boi, you're such a Theatre Kid.
me: Oh yes I am guilty on that. Hating them
It's that emet-selch showed me I once was 1 of them made me realize that if I continued hating them, I would hate myself. So I couldn't do that. I started with adoring emet first. But Elidibus was swiftly around the corner lol.
jezzah: Yeah Hades showed me a side of the story and Amaurot killed me inside and I was like....fuck Hydaelyn at that point. He knew the best way to tug at my heart strings.
me: Reliving it kind of in a past life vision (looking at it from above) is even more heart breaking.
jezzah: I relived it inside the city. Running around in fear.
me: In your head? Minds eye?
jezzah: dream. and yes vision
fire buildings burning trapped. usually what it is. Always been uncomfortable with fire
All I remember is being trapped with fire all around me
me: How did you know it was Amaurot then?
I remember an old dream I had constantly as a kid.
I was locked up underwater, leaving me there to drown.
When I gained my swimming licence as a kid, the dream appeared 1 last time but this time I knew how to escape because I k ew how to swim now. When I came up to the surface I believe there was a boat I don't recall clearly who was on it, I believe it was captain Hook of Peter pan
I climbed aboard and the dream ended.
Now that I think of it, it does leave a message about sympathy for bad guys in fantasy stories.
jezzah: idk It was just so bright and stone. But when I was going through the dungeon I just had this feeling.
me: So you had that dream before that dungeon.
jezzah: Yeah. I never liked fire
me: Interesting! Though about my childhood dream above here.
Sympathy for your enemies. Sound familiar doesn't it?
jezzah: yes
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dec 18th
jezzah: I had this one dream when I was a child that kept recurring and I keep seeing it every now and then
Again there's fire, a house was burning around me and a demonic figure stood in front of me. Tall muscular male with red eyes
I didn't fear it I felt safe for the most part
me: Did he caused the fire, or did he saved you?
jezzah: He was protecting me from the from the fire it seems
This was when I was really little maybe 3-5 years old
I don't dream about it anymore but I do have daydreams and visions of it.
me: Maybe it was lahabrea? Idk just calling things.
jezzah: Does Lahabrea have horns growing from his head?
me: Hmmmm No. But you did not told me that detail lol
jezzah: It was a dark shadowy figure, demonic in nature with red eyes and horns, big horns. This could be the dark protector that's been around all my life
Demons don't usually bother me
It's angels and the Light that harm me
Always been that way
Kinda seems like I'm evil huh?
me: Kinda. How do angels and light harm you actually
jezzah: It stings and burns if I am around them
I keep telling everyone that the Darkness is not inherently evil
Everything has a place and balance in the world.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jezzah: Okay so, the blanket I have hanging up is an extremely good focus that I can connect to Hades. I feel more overwhelming emotions from him when I direct things towards this blanket because I'm actually focusing harder and connecting to him better. This has spurred me to get more things that are him so I can have a stronger connection to him.
When I gush romance I can feel his bashfulness even stronger
me: Oh nice to know!
I had a dream last week that the Elidibus convocation crystal replica I designed and made by anton james. Was going to be important. Perhaps for the same reason you just mentioned.
jezzah: Having physical items connected to them will strengthen your connections with them and you can better communicate with them.
me: Nice
jezzah: That was a theory of mine and it's nice to know I was correct
me: Indeed, that eli plushie I got, got his energy in it.
jezzah: Nice. The more you have of him the more you can connect to him. My theory.
me: Can't wait for my Elidibus body pillow case in January
( not necessarily the more the better. but more what you do with it. for instance, elidibus connect mostly through my plushie of him while I got other plushies and items of him. He is only connected to that specific plushie. its almost a voodoo doll but without the effect that he can be harmed with it. only loved ;) he can detach himself from the plushie if needed. so for now its my most save way to connect with him directly if I wish to do so. but even this ability is quite recent and prior to that I had imposters in my home taken over the body pillow….so you also need to watch out. some way of another I got ridd of all that “shit” in my house. I got only stupid spirit guides trying to be him. but since I let them know they are making me insecure about my abilities connecting with elidibus they stop it after 1 time asking, even though they promised to stop doing this…..so yeah )
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dec 19th
jezzah: Does Eli have any hobbies??? Or is he a workaholic???? Fucking Aya is not a hobby
TK: XD
( I had to include this this is so funny lol)
jezzah: Gonna let her answer when she wakes
me : XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD I don't know, often works yes xD.
Having ascian prime kinks in my head with eli. Omg I need to tidy up our bedroom and Eli is like Nope. Making me horny while standing to type this.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I talked about some twitter people and their ships, that subject came to pass that day. a week later suddenly became the witch hunt on twitter.
tk: The problem I have with a lot of rpers with xiv is that they insist that their way is correct and anyone else rping something different (or with your case) they have a hissy fit with
me: Ikr
All eli Rp'ers have blocked me.
Because of what? I never bothered them, no discussions, no whatever.
And then you post something that you love Elidibus or believe the Ascians are real they block you on sight. Ah yes they probably blocked me mainly because of my soul explanation.
The Eli and I were siblings once. And now my lover.
It's a focking normal thing among souls.
Even my ex and I were siblings in a previous life.
When you get reborn everything is resetted
They probably think it's insest or something.
It doesn't count for souls ffs!
Don't get me wrong among mortals it's gross and inappropriate. I totally agree with that.
Ugh rant mode
tk: Just saying I find the Garlean ones the most annoying lol
me: lol
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jezzah: I've been able to connect with Hades more now. Still have to work through the imposter syndrome I've been feeling.
me: Since when?
jezzah: Since when what?, The Imposter Syndrome???
me: yes
jezzah: So, I keep feeling like I'm not Hades' true Soul Bonded Mate? But then I feel the bond with him again. It's been like that for about a week now.
me: hmmmm
jezzah: I don't want to push him away and I don't want to seem ungrateful. I just think so lowly of myself I could never believe that someone as pathetic and a nobody as me could have someone as amazing and powerful and beautiful as him.
me: But you don't got the idea it's a spiritguide pretending to be him atleast.
jezzah: No, not anymore. It's more than been confirmed he's who he says he is
me: Good, I understand the bond thing. Considering your past.
jezzah: Which is when I started doubting that I am his Soul Mate. Soul Bonds are something I can't fully explain.
me: you said you grew up with him right? That a different kind of bond. Friendship.
He later when he joined the convocation got with Azem.
Since "azem" atm is guy.....
He probably went to you for love.
jezzah: I've been able to connect with him a lot more frequently lately. Yeah in Amaurot we were inseparable, we met as children and instantly connected. If Azem is ever female again would he just...dump me? I don't wanna be the side piece when the main piece isn't there.
me: Before I contacted you again on discord . He said to me he is waiting for that like a couple of months ago. But then it's no guarantee "azem" would remember.
jezzah: He's waiting for her
me: yes
jezzah: Am I really the love of his life?
me: I cannot answer that. You need to ask him himself
jezzah: I want to be loved, really truly loved. I want someone who will be there for me no matter what life I am in. I'm so confused. I feel like I'm going to cry.
me: Ask him, now you got that info from me
jezzah; He loves us both, He says he genuinely loves us both. He's showing me an image of him holding both of us close. He loves us. Azem and I. That's what I got. I can't hate him or fault him for loving two people.
me: Still, he went with azem later on before sundering.
jezzah: He was still figuring things out. What he said. Also he and I did have a huge fight.
me: About that subject I take it
jezzah: Yes Apparently, I threw a book at his face, During the fight and left. I feel so bad.
me; Ahh so after that he choose for azem.
jezzah: Yes, I had felt so betrayed. I understand now. As someone who is poly in this life. You don't have to be poly to love two people.
me: On a different subject.
My ex came with the sudden impulse replies ( which are mostly always correct).
That I probably blamed or was angry at Elidibus when he was gonna sacrifice himself.
But I understand now too .
jezzah: Yeah it's about healing a reconnecting
( in regards to all of this, Hades loved her as a very good friend and never had love interest in her. she perhaps had love feelings for Hades, which made her react this way, which is understandable. but he never had “love” feelings for her at that time. yeah different kind, called deep friendship love. the “hades”she is with now is only a clone made by the original to fulfill her desires and needs and make it her truth……the memories are imprinted into the clone but allot is mixed up with her own desires. the real emet-selch is still waiting for Azem to re-incarnate into a woman again. hades isn’t even with her when its about having sex or snuggles. the real one does check upon her but only for other things that aren’t love relationship related, so it’s a mixed bag here quite literally. but I talked to TK about this again quite recently and well we concluded that even it’s a clone its still operated by emet-selch so he still guide her and the proof of that is there, will be in October chapter 2021 )
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
later she posted a dream she had sex with Thancred
jezzah: So I had a short dream last night. Hades and I were in the Rising Stones. He was sitting at one of the tables and I was sitting between his legs on the floor, back to him. He was petting and massaging my ears, I'm a Viera, and he was explaining to the Scions how if massaged properly I'll fall asleep. He explained this as I feel asleep. He then picked me up asked someone to open the door to the rooms and then put me to bed, he kissed my forehead before hauling me off and putting me on a bed. Then the dream kinda turned into....having sex with Thancred but I digress
me: Omg I wasn't exactly gonna post this.
But I had a random dream about having sex with thancred too he was in full detail ffs, gunbreaker armor at all. When I woke I was like, nope F you.
jezzah; He was naked in mine and he kept saying how much of a Goddess I was and he was in so much awe of me. Then for a split second Thancred turned into Hades. So I know Hades is just humoring me.
me: Lahabrea style reference xD
jezzah: Yes exactly what I thought last night. Oh Hades was in full Amaurot clothes, hooded robe and mask. But the robe and mask kept changing to different things eventually it settled to his Emet-Selch mask and his Amaurot robes.
me: Oh that's so annoying when things keep changing in a dream
jezzah: He said Thancred was the only one to see his true face
me: Still lahabrea reference
jezzah: What is with the Ascians and Thancred?
me: ikr XD
jezzah: What the fuck is with that obsession
me: xD
the reason I posted this part is that in early march 2021 I had a dream where eli was thancred too! there really is something with thancred being ascian wanted.
me: I think eli is most of the day with me today.
Perhaps got a day off or something.
jezzah: Hades says yes and he just wants to keep an eye on you. “Protective” word I got. So, I'm ok with Hades with Azem. I know he loves us. This has been a productive talk.
me; Indeed. Awww eli I gonna stay overnight too.
He got work on Sunday (the next day) though at noon. ( at that moment I didn’t knew what to come and experience, I wish I knew beforehand then I would be so devastating to experience). He stays until the end of the morning.
Also I asked a 3fold answer question.
The third option was pushing me to the right.
I asked if (front) if he was my personal protector,
back, lover.
Right: both.
I was pushed to the right
jezzah: awwwwwwwwwwwwww Yeah Nabs was in my head before Emet
He's pretty well muscled and beautiful -_- Shit Nonononono I'm trying to reign in my need to sleep with everyone XD He's trying to get me to sleep with him XD
Are we an FWB situation now??
me: Omg shouting at Nabs: you dirty whore. Get your lust elsewhere!
jezzah: I don't blame him though XD. He's tiny compared to me though
me: What? XD Or do you picture yourself as the bunny?
jezzah: VieraI identify as a Viera
me: I don't wanna be taller then eli,
I am an elezen female game max height.
As much as a like elves and want to be one in RL.
I prefer eli to be taller then me. I am short anyway
jezzah: He's wearing his Ascian robe....only his Ascian Robe it's open and thank Zodiark he at least has some boxers on. Those gloves though. Nabs
me: Omg
jezzah: He knows he can break me XD
Emet is just in the back hitting his head on a wall
This is amusing
me: XDXDXDXDXDXDXD
(here some NSFW talk, just talking about it, so not actually happening)
jezzah: I'm being seduced XD
me: Omg
jezzah: XD now I'm horny
me: Well then Ask emet for a treesome
jezzah: Guess I am as sexual as the little Scorpion
He says no XD
me: Thought so
jezzah: Not with him XD. He's willing with someone else not Nabs.
me: Ow lol Eli doesn't like that at all.
jezzah: Sharing?
me: yes
jezzah: You two are perfect together don't fuck with a good thing
me: Exactly
jezzah: Meanwhile it's orgy central over here. Nothing happened.....yet
me: Uhu sure XD
jezzah: Nabs left
me: oh?
jezzah: Just me and Hades now.I didn't give in.
me: Owww okay xD
jezzah: I just want my eme-chan
me: good girl
jezzah: I don't mind being with mortals
But when it comes to immortal Ascians
Yeah my Hades is my only love.
I've been with Nabriales before btw
He's very thorough
He doesn't like coming first
He'll work your body until you can't take any more and then he'll satisfy himself
Fuck horny more now
me: OMG
jezzah: See why I have a hard time turning him down
Cheeky Bastard has a smug ass smirk on his face.
me: Eli finds our sex only successful if I came multiple big times xD.
And usually also continues until I can't take it anymore lol
Is that an ascian thing btw?
jezzah: Emet and I usually orgasm at the exact same time. There is a lot of foreplay and we kind of just.. merge So no I don't think it's just an Ascian thing because Hades like to do things differently.
me: Hmm ok
Eli get me horny way to easily lol.
Btw, when I am about to orgasm then eli does too.
But what I meant is continue the sex until you are worn out.
Well actually sometimes even both worn out. I had that a couple of times.
jezzah: Ah Nabs makes sure you are worn out before he ever starts himself, Emet loves to orgasm with me even over multiple times, we are one together and he wants to make sure we're in orgasm together it's something soul bonds do, orgasm together.
me: Yeah, we do too.
But eli loves to continue until I can't even come anymore. Completely empty haha.
end of nsfw talk
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jezzah: Is white hair an Amaurot trait?
me: Ya know I thought the exact same for couple of months now. Also silver
jezzah: But then again Nabs has red hair and Laha is a blondie. Pash has blond hair
Igy has blue
Emet has beautiful silvery white hair and it's amazing
He prefers sometimes his Auburn Solus hair.
me: I believe dyed hair was a thing too.
jezzah: True
me: see igey
jezzah: I was born with Black hair, pale skin, and blue eyes
I came from the north. STILL HATE THOSE STUPID ASS MASKS.
me: XD I love them.
jezzah: So Hades is telling me I would through them whenever I could get away with it
He had to keep getting me a new one every time because it would break.
me: Oh yeah did you noticed the post I tagged you in. That post about ascians keeping their masks on during sex. And Emm replies with only close lover are taking their masks off.
(how the fuck does she knows that?)
jezzah: Oh yeah saw that BEFORE you tagged me in that.
me: lol
jezzah: Hades would take his mask off when he's around me in private. I mean it's kinda common sense they would demask around intimate loved ones.
TK: People can know stuff without being spiritual (or know they are), like everyone has a piece of something if it's important to them.
me: Well that's kinda deep stuff though.
But your right.
Perhaps she doesn't know she has a gift
jezzah: How hard would you have to through a mask to have it shatter?
It always split in two down the middle
me: wtf
jezzah: I asked Hades how many times I have done this his reply
With his arms crossed "too many damn times to count" XD
He looks cross with me XD "Don't do it again" XD
Sorry off topic XD
I don't mind wearing robes, actually quite warm and comfortable
me: I knowwwwww
I bought six of those in aliexpress
jezzah: Did you know they actually wore something under the robes too??? Emet likes to wear woolen turtlenecks. And sweat pants In black.
tk: Aww how cute
jezzah: I KNOWWWWW HE IS SUPER WARM AND SOFT
I also wore my own, it was skin tight but very very soft and warm
We always matched aside from masks
I had to wear the white one as that was easiest to procure and I...always...you know XD I feel like I had my own unique mask at one point
Still around, Emet has it hidden
me: Huh white more easily? Why that.
While most are wearing black though
Isn't white like Elidibus only
jezzah: Emet says easier to find me in a crowd and easiest to procure. Mask. White mask
me: Oh the mask, so not the robes
jezzah: No. I'm getting we didn't mingle with crowds that had white masks
Um....I was easily lost apparently too. Yeah we were with red masks a lot, those are not easy to come by btw. Hence why Emet has mine hidden.
me: Weren't those convocation only?
jezzah: He says high ranking officials had them.
me: To stand out of the rest
jezzah: Ask Eli to confirm
me: Convocation only
jezzah: High ranking officials, Convocation. Our social circle wasn't big apparently. I was still easily spotted though. Can you ask Eli something for me? I don't really trust what comes out of Emet's mouth rn. He's being snarky. Do the Significant Others/Loved Ones of Convocation Members get honorary red masks to wear to public social events like a banquet or a social gathering for work or is Emet-Selch a rebellious twat waffle and just made me one because he wanted to match? He says mine is hidden because he doesn't want me breaking it. I'm like.....why do I have one?. I don't need one. I just... need clarification.
me: so what you want to know if your mask is red or not?
jezzah: I have a red mask, Emet made it for me, it's put up, I wanna know. If loved ones get one to wear for social gatherings with their convocation partner. Idk if I'm saying this right. Or if Emet just made me one for the hell of it.
me: ok i will try . yes loved ones of the convocation members did get a red mask. and emet just made 1 for you for the sake of it.
jezzah: XD I wondered why I had one that looked almost exactly like his XD. It's just a little more how do I put this, instead of the ends just going straight like his, it kinda curves slightly inward and smaller. I can't quite make out the details on the mask but it's a little smaller than his.
I posted my sigil in discord
me: I showed it my sis who saw the whole symbol. She confirmed it.
jezzah: tha’s cool. Do only convocation members get symbols??? Or is that an Amaurotine thing???. is a bit jealous.
me: ask Hades xD.
jezzah: He won't, He doesn't wanna upset me. He keeps telling me I have the ability to be someone special in this world and I just keep telling myself I'm nothing special. It's a bad cycle atm.
(later it was confirmed its an amaurotine thing)
me; this world,.... planet earth. where magic is a farfetched thing.. if you consider magic, as in magic like on the Source.
jezzah: Yes he says I'm very smart and nerdy and I can use that.
me: ya know. my ex came with an awesome idea. to dig in multiple media (like series, movies, games, books you name it), the refers to the ancients on the Source.. its allot of reading and research work. be could end up pretty awakening/enlightening to people. teen titans with Raven's past for example has almost the same story including robes. so to the abilities of yours might gonna help with this..
jezzah: idk.
me: ask hades about that research idea of mine
jezzah: The game Shadow of the Colossus is important, He says. Now that I think about it, it has really big parallels to the Source and Ascians 0.o . I've never played it but I know what it's about basically
me; can you tell more perhaps? wiki isn’t very clear lol.
jezzah: Ok so this guy's beloved dies and he takes her to a forbidden temple and makes a deal with the mysterious dark powerful beings [Ascians] and in exchange for bringing her back to life he as to kill this giant beings called Colossus [Primals/Eikons]. So he goes around and when he is done the beings escape kill him and bring his lady back. That's a basic run down.
me: ah thank you. i already thought the colossus were the primals in this case.
jezzah: That game instantly popped into my head when I asked Hades. Also got Okami as well and Lacuna Coil. The ending to Okami is parallel to Amaurot. But why would he tell me Lacuna Coil [Italian Goth Rock]
me: about that band. the titles of the songs look very interesting.
jezzah: I know looking at it with a new light, It's very Ascian in nature.
me: not my style of music though, i rather just read the lyrics. in case if they have to do something with the ascians. ask Hades if Alan Walker is also 1 of those people:
listen and watch this vid (Unity and Faded vid) he freaking wears black hoodies.
jezzah: He says it sounds like something that would be played in Amaurot
me: the second one its about atlantis. but if you replace atlantis with Amaurot. and Faded with sundered
jezzah: so, I'm getting some interference. I'm not really getting through
me: oh to bad because its quite interesting.
i'm faded. "cough" i'm sundered.
jezzah: No I mean I am unable to get in touch with Hades. He's sulking rn. Idk why. "Something not you". Hmmmmmmmm.
me; did i trigger something by letting you hear that song?.
jezzah; In him yes, I guess. I got the feeling he oft went to shows with a female singer. Like an opera or something.
me: this is interesting i can trigger things in him by letting you know about it.
jezzah; He's connected to me so...yeah. We all knew he was a theater geek. Didn't know he liked Opera too.
me; Opera isn't really comparable to this but, i was more thinking about the text.
jezzah; The female singing is what triggered him. That's when he immediately shut himself off and kinda went sulking. He says it's a familiar voice. Someone he knew a friend. Just a friend. Um...ok Hades. Yeah a friend he helped in the Opera. That's what he is telling me. Eli may not know because it was something he did on his own.
me: oh interesting details.
jezzah; I know, such a thespian XD. A theater friend. Ok ok XD. Jeebus stahp. He's rambling now. I keep telling him I'm ok I'm not jealous I know she's not a fling. Omfg xD. He's calmed a little xD. Damn his feathers are really ruffled (upset). He left. It's a bit calmer now. I wonder why he was so upset. Did Emet have any siblings we're not aware of???
me: idk. i know via m***ie eli had several xD
jezzah: Maybe this person used to be a sibling to Emet
me 0-o
jezzah: I never actually saw him as an only child.
me: I need to go to bed.
jezzah; Today has been eye opening to say the least.
me: indeed!
well now that I have read this back that dream I had at the end of February/early march 2021 where emet has 4 other siblings I saw on a picture might not be so weird anymore. ( the dreams that are mentioned that are in the future of this story will be told when the it hits the month it happened in.)
for now this is part 1. Part 2 will have the rest of the months december
Comentários