dec 20th
the day started with a conversation with Mysi*** who doubted me that I was connecting with elidibus. she thought it was a imposter.
Mysi: I am concerned that the entity visiting you isn't your Elidibus, but a passing spirit that took advantage of your openness. Seeing that you were longing for him to visit, it tried to give you what you wanted using Elidibus's form. But it isn't the Elidibus you met at first, is it really? Deep down, can you tell the difference? This spirit may mean well and may even really love you, but it's not the spirit you were contacting initially, and it certainly isn't my Elidibus. They are totally different. Can you feel it? I bet you can feel it deep down too, but you wanted it to be your Eli so badly that you tried not to notice the difference. And that could damage your connection with the Ancients in the long run, as you slowly forget how the original Eli is different. I don't think it's bad for you to be with this spirit, but I think it is dangerous for you to be tricked into thinking Elidibus is no more than this. I can't go along with that illusion, it wouldn't be good for me either.
me: Have you read the session of my sister in the meditation channel?
The screenshots
Also that dream where he forced himself into my dreams, was pretty much conclusive it was the real one.
Also and how can jezzah confirm things about eli via her emet-selch. Those are mostly in the general tab. And when I ask things to verify his presence, I sometimes comes across A random spirit yes. But when I ask for the real one, and go through some questions to verify him, I even ask in the name God, jezus and the Holy spirit if he isn't answering in my favour or tells the truth. And I still do this every time. And every spirit must obey to that line in the name of God, jezus and holy spirit. Ascians are included. They know God as the greater mind. As far M***ie said once.. As far as I came to know he is still very stoic and cryptic to others. Also denies our thing towards others. Also how do you declare my own visions of my past? I literally saw Elidibus being sacrificed, and I cried my heart out. Within the vision and psychical. And more of those things. I saw things that aren't in game. And I haven't been reading other things that could have influenced it. My sister gave pretty much conclusive proof. Since letting people confirm this happenings who don't even play the game are more legit. Also according to jezzah. Emet-selch told Elidibus to " explore the world more" that kind of bro talk with others words " get yourself a girl or something" I asked when that was. It just so happened that emet said that around the time my ascian dreams started! Also. Please let me remind you on what happend on Nov 4th. Before that, I had a crush on emet-selch, eli was just my known brother at that point. That I am his younger sister is pretty much confirmed by M***ie and even you. It was Elidibus who started this, seeing his glyph and all when he tried to arouse me, this was not a dream I was pretty much in awake trance state when I woke up and saw all of that. And I was very cautious and didn't know what to think of this at first. If it were a random spirit then why didn't that spirit do emet-selch instead?
So perhaps you need to talk to him again. But he probably won't let anyone knows this. Also, Elidibus at first( after Nov 4), randomly popped up in my room. I didn't ask for visiting at first. I just felt his presence. I usually did some random chit chat via my own method asking lore questions on what actually happened. (I did this before Nov 3 too) . Oh yes, he even admitted to me that this is all new for him in the beginning. And questions jezzah asks me to ask Eli to confirm or debunk. A random spirit of Earth shouldn't be able too to have the knowledge of what happened before the sundering from a different planet. How their lives were. How certain events happened. I still will train myself as soon as I got that book and break through the Veils to actually hear them talk. I will never forget what M***ie told me on info. I hope after reading all of this, Elidibus perhaps might be more open about all of this to you, because you clearly missed allot, at least I got the idea you missed allot.
( in between this conversation I was chatting with TK and jezzah too giving me advice on what to ask Mysi***, this shite of Mysi will continue the next day)
general tab posts:
jezzah: Yeah I knew she was fake I saw her name and the word "Imposter" flashed in my mind. Why I said "someone looking sus"
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me: I want to make a ascian prime with eli. But I can't on this forsaken planet.
jezzah: I kinda did that with emet today our minds merging. it is pretty limited what they can do with us in this world.
me: Yeah ikr.
jezzah: The magic in this world is very sparse and limiting.
me: But I mean literally a prime. In white cloak instead of black. Got wild fantasies lol
jezzah: So, I've been getting a big feeling that someone in this group has the ability to control luck, I think it may be TK but I am not 100% sure.
TK: Possibly. I can't control my own but usually sometimes people with me get stuff they wanted, or me just being there makes stuff drop in xiv lol. It's something that I've thought about but don't really like believe fully cause it's almost like I can't think about it otherwise it doesn't happen. Or I have reverse luck
jezzah: It's def a very tricky power to have, and it does take more hard work to be able to make it work. When it comes to maps in game more than one occasions like multiple I am able to get my team all the way to the end but not because I'm lucky, I'm psychic to a point. I can tell which way we need to go. what Luck based powers is. You just pick something and you force it to be either positive or negative outcome. Luck Control can be confused for psychic powers but it's not. it's manipulating the odds of an outcome. Which is much more difficult to master. It's very rare too.
tk: I can getto the end usually on my maps, but it's luck lol.
jezzah: It's not really luck, it's just you have to know which door to choose, it's determined beforehand for the map kind of. It's either after you finish the fight for the floor or before you enter. I get told which door to take
Oh I read that wrong
I'm just telling you what goes on with me. I get told which door to take and 99.99% of the time if I am on the team we get to the end. Like I said you have luck powers. Now I'm starting to doubt if I am psychic or if I am just telepathic and Emet is running things
tk: Laugh the one as a joke I went Left whole time, got to bottom then there was the three door one I like "going left-middle-right until we get there" also made it lol
jezzah: Is Aya sleeping?
me: No not yet. I was putting my son to bed and after contacting my higher self.
It helped a little bit. But still not convincing enough.
(elidibus was hardly available and very hard to reach)
jezzah: Ask Eli if he can prove that he is who he is. I know he is. He's unique. Trust me.
me: What can he do, what other spirit can't?
jezzah: I don't know. I really don't. I just know he is who he says he is
me: sigh
jezzah: His aura is special and unique
me: true
jezzah: I've told you how it felt when I interacted with him. You confirmed it.
me: Yes it felt the same.
jezzah; I know how doubt can hurt. Emet and I are still dealing with bumps in our relationship. But we love each other. I'm lucky that Emet and I are together now and we're working things out and I have accepted that Azem is apart of us too. But I know you and Elidibus are meant to be. You two will get through this.
me: :/ Thanks.
some time later.
me: I had a longggggg (question) talk with lahabrea all of a sudden when I wasn't able to contact eli.
Later I was, able to contact eli again when I asked Laha for that.
But, yeah he (via yes/no answers) said pretty much a very deep brother - sister bond. But we will get married etc when I am dead.
He is in denial that he loves me more then a sister. He admitted that, but he doesn't want to be called lovers yet.
Mysi***'s eli is a emotionless clone.
jezzah: Mysi***'s eli is false, An echo a hallow. She's probably creating these hallows. False Prophet. I'm sorry that word is chanting in my head. It won't go away.
me: But yeah, eli doesn't want it to called lovers etc. Eventhough we will be when I die of this body.
jezzah: A hole of empty. I don't think she is doing this intentionally probably because she wants to be included in things but she's causing harm with this. Maybe he will feel better if you call him your Partner.
me: I am too tired to ask again.
Have been asking questions for the entire time a full hour. But perhaps maybe idk.
jezzah: I think it's more of a neutral term, But still indicates you two are close. Emet is fine with lovers. Bonded mates. Husband and wives
Cuz...Azem and Me we're his wives XD
Omfg
That's still some getting used to
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dec 21st
Mysi talk continuation
me: Additional question for you: How does your Elidibus you talk with feel?
mysi: Then you and I are not speaking with the same Elidibus. If he says he is, he's simply mistaken about it. There are so many small details that feel "off" about him. He's just not the same spirit. Furthermore, are you really sure that your desire to see him again didn't make you imagine some of the things that happened? A lot of it just feels unlike the Ancients. Concerned about things that the immortals just really don't care about. Everything I read from you lately just doesn't wash. I believe that Elidibus did contact you in the first place, but I don't believe that's what's happening to you now.
me; You are not telling any details how he is with you. I wonder If you even contacted him, because you are not telling what he said. I couldn't connect with him yesterday eve, eventually lahabrea came to answer my questions, without specifically asking for him. I question if this, was the same lahabrea M***ie always contacted. And he was. (and more validation questions, including if not answering in favour in the name of the convocation, and he didn't answer any questions in my favour) He confirmed me after explaining what eli said to M***ie that, that was also the one with me. But Elidibus doesn't want to be called lovers yet, (this was already a hard heartbroken pill to swallow) . But will be when my live has ended. It's a very deep brother-sister bond. Later I asked Laha if I could speak with Elidibus. And that worked. He confirmed what Laha said plus extra details that were personal and Laha didn't know. And I am not gonna tell those either. Thus, according to Laha and Eli and even my own higher self, yours might be the one that isn't the actual one. If you even contacted him that is. Also I would like to know what he said to you, if you talked to him.
mysi: No, I haven't talked with him lately. Why would that matter? I don't need to speak with him to know that the behaviours you describe aren't the type of behaviours I see from the beings I speak with. This whole "having a mortal lover" or "getting a girl" is not a need for them in the way I see you describing. It's not their concern, and reproducing and having children is inessential to them. The spiritual properties are not transmitted by genetics like that. For the beings I know of, this just isn't a concern. If they were your lover it would be to satisfy your temporal needs since you still have them in this state, not to have children. You also need to realize that there is not only one true timeline. Two different ones can be the "real Elidibus" for their own timeline. I honestly don't care if you want to believe that mine is "fake". Like, if that's what you have to believe in order to understand that we aren't talking about the same timeline, if that's what makes you feel better about yours, then do what you have to do. However, I do think it's important to realize that a spirit can be bound to obey God, and still be mistaken. Just... remember that. Mistakes happen.
I am just as pleased to speak with the entities I do contact, whether or not they are "real Ascians". I love them for what they are either way. And when I'm not talking to them, I'm often busy talking to higher spirits
me: You do understand that that a soul bond works differently? I did some research on that front. And love on the astral plane where they are atm, does exsist.
mysi: Yes, and soul bonding is a few steps beneath the entities I know. They are something bigger.
What you're talking about is not what I'm involved in, I did stuff on that level in the late 1990s, I'm doing something on a higher plane atm
I have kind of lost interest in that, it feels like not enough for me anymore
The beings I know are on a different level
me; They can still take form of what you desire them to be no matter how high.
mysi: And like I said, if they did, it would be to satisfy you, not like they needed to go out and get a girl, or have any babies.
me: I am not talking about those details
mysi: I am.
You asked why I would say they are different. That's why. Now I've explained
The long and short of it is that I talk to something different from your timeline, and if you are being careful then there's nothing more I have to say about whether or not yours are really them.
me: I have always been cautious on this matter for imposters of other spirits pretending to be someone else. It's was the very first thought at that certain night, like why? Was it even the real one? I did question it myself. I was cautious because I knew of spirits pretending to be what you like. But that was already off to begin with, because why Elidibus? And not emet?
mysi: Oh, I'm not saying you aren't careful. But it may still be a mistake.
me: My sister’s validation might me the most proof of all, since she doesn't play the game and isn't influenced by the lore, and got not beneficial needs of answers to get.
mysi: Believe whatever you want about it. I have said my piece now, I've cleared my own conscience of the worry that I am encouraging you to make a mistake. That's all I had to say. I would still like you to understand that the spirits i talk to aren't the same as yours. But then I realized it kind of doesn't matter what you believe about it; it's a harmless idea either way. So I decided I really had said all I needed to say. I do wish the best for you and yours.
(this conversation will continue on the next day)
posts of the group:
me: It's very funny that I had the same lahabrea who M***ie always talked too.
That's the legit lahabrea though.
Via him I was able verify if the Elidibus she spoke too was the real one, and also the same one with me now.
But the one at mysi he didn't know.
So I asked eli later. Eli answered it wasn't a fake one, but a clone. It contained all knowledge of him, but a clone lives his own life too so yeah. The clone is indeed not with me, on that part it's true. Because it's a clone.
(jezzah says some funny nonsense here now): You also have a doll btw. Emet, Eli, and Laha made a doll for you. Eli did most of the work.
me; Ummm according to him, that was a made up from your mind.
jezzah: Well then I was pranked.
me: xD
jezzah: Ok yeah it was something he planted in my head making me think it was real. Cuz he wants to do it. Making a fuckin life sized Eli doll XD. Does that sound like Emet?.
me: no : sweatdrop:
jezzah: Can they lie? Is that a thing they can do or is it impossible for them to because I feel like a white lie is something they do as a prank. I clearly saw an Eli doll in my head set against a kind of creamy beige wallpaper and a incandescent lightbulb. Sorry rambling.
me; Well they tend to answer in your favour -_- with every question I ask I have to ask that, if they didn't answer in my favour in the name of God, etc. And this time I even added in the name of the convocation at it.
jezzah: I just thought Emet would be better than that, He was so on that "I don't lie" thing. I feel kinda hurt rn.
me; I know when I found that they did that, I was hurt too.
jezzah: He and I need to have a long ass talk later. I know he feels guilty. I told him off and I'm crying in my mind's eye and I am on the verge of crying irl. I told him I don't want to be humiliated because he wants to do something. Sorry I'll go for now need some time alone with Emet.
me; Ask him what he did more in your favour. I am afraid it's more then you think. Because according to eli, the things eli said to emet never happened.............. Bare in mind, answering in favour they do probably at anyone who doesn't know they are doing that. Mysi*** included.
some time later,
me : I think I got trouble connecting with him now......(what I didn’t know is that he was fighting off aliens at that time!, that story will be revealed in a few days).
Phew I took me 5 tries to get the actual one. All before we're imposters.
He really doesn't want to be lovers yet, I need to wait until I die. He will be guiding me the rest of my life even if I get another partner. Now that mysi is kicked we can talk together here.
It would be nice if the other two who aren't online would just talk with us. Even is they don't experience things. There aren't many people who actually believe the Ascians are real ya know. (I tagged them)
jezzah: There was a reason Mysi*** was kicked. TK, Ayane, and I all got a feeling that she wasn't good. We can't fully confirm but we believe she is tempered by something and the "Ascians" she is speaking with isn't real. She's been labeled a False Prophet by Emet-Selch and I keep seeing that word whenever I see her name.
me: I really needed that talk with eli though. I was so lost. Now I feel content and comfortable again
I hope I didn't disturb his work to much.....
jezzah: Thing is it doesn't make sense to me that he would have sex with you then suddenly pull away and tell you that he doesn't want to be lovers. I'm sorry I don't believe that. He's planning something, I can feel there's more going on and we're not being allowed to know. Let them deal with whatever is going on, I think the Shift might be happening. SOMETHING is going on.
me; hope your right. According to my ex, he is out of the pink cloud your in when you just falled in love. (this was absolutely not the case, jezzah was on the right end).
jezzah: That doesn't sound like Eli, he's planning and hiding something and telling you he doesn't want to be lovers he is trying to protect you from something.
me: oh.
jezzah; Eli tries to be logical, Yes it just doesn't sit well with me doesn't make any sense and I'm not in a state currently to try and dig for more information.
me: I hope you are right.....,
jezzah: I know I am it just....feels like something big is currently going on Astrally, Spiritually and they have to deal with things. Something big doesn't feel right at all. And I know Elidibus, he wouldn't have sex unless he was 100% he wanted you romantically.
me:…..
jezzah: I wonder if TK can also feel something is off.
TK: I feel something is off but it's just that.
jezzah: I don't think we're supposed to know what's going on but I don't believe Elidibus would dump you like that. Aya you need to get the truth out of him. Is he just saying that to protect you? Emet has also pulled away a bit but then again we did have a fight last night but we also made up and had sex so his pulling away is protective atm.
me: I don’t know. ( I was depressed a hell, and doubting everything at that time)
jezzah: Neither do I. All of us just need to stay vigilant right now.
me; I am not go ask now. He is atleast busy until tomorrow noon. That's how far I could fish for when I would see/notice him Again. (sadly I was busy myself that day iirc but we will see).
jezzah: It is best to let him do what he needs to do and ask him when he pops up, they need to be undisturbed right now.
me: So emet is away too?
jezzah: One of my playlists I was listening to when I was cleaning and Amaurot's theme popped up. I suddenly stopped and had an overwhelming emotion of wanting to go home. No, he's just pulled back and watching. I started crying a little and I put my hand over my heart. I was homesick.
me: I totally know how that feels. I had that after the first 3 ascian dreams...... Well the first 1 actually already.
jezzah: Yeah idk why I suddenly feel like I want to go back to Amaurot. Back to my life as an Ancient.
TK: Today just feels off already my end
jezzah: I think it's the Shift aya and I were talking about.
me; I have been a douce to my ex.....
I was so broken because of all this with mysi***. He was my shoulder to cry on.
And I never did for him.....
I always thought I don't have too because we broke up, but he still took care of me still. And I didn't did anything to return it in any sort or form.
I am focked up I was wrong.
No idea why I am telling this either. Perhaps that shift made me realise. I need to offer help back.
jezzah: You and your ex need to have a very long talk about all this about things about how you both feel and what all this means. I don't have my husband to talk to because I don't feel like I can trust him enough. You have someone who you CAN talk to other than us.
me: Yeah. Can you imagine M***ie said to me that it was better to keep my mouth shut to him of me liking the ascians and they are real etc.
It was a tough road, to make him realise they aren't evil anymore. But now he is supportive. Especially now, since mysi*** was probably contacting the tempered ones. We are communicating the untempered. But you can't trust your husband? How awful must that be.
jezzah: Mysi*** is more than likely tempered, the evidence proves to me but I am not going to make a wild claim. Yeah it's hard, I don't feel like I can't actually talk to him about all of this he thinks I'm insane and it's just a game.
me: oof
jezzah: He tried to humor me but I feel like he just doesn't care or believe.
me: According to my sister the age of Aquarius has started. Thus the great shift.
jezzah: Why everything is topsy turvy.
me: She doesn't know.
She actually only does sessions when she feel like it.
But nonetheless I am grateful for that 1 session she did for me.
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Dec 22nd
conversation with Mysi***
me: You caused a lot of harm. I got allot of trouble connecting/contacting him now. All I get are imposters now thanks to you. I took me 5 tries yesterday to finally get him. And wasn't even able to 3h ago. Mine is the untempered version, yours indeed from that different time line which is still tempered. That's why there such a difference in personality.
mysi: It sounds like I helped boost your development, if Eli is doing this to you then he probably wants you to learn patience and hard work
You literally can't do this without patience and hard work, it's a skill, we all did it. You will have to train at that just like everyone else. You ask me what I did to get where I am, to be able to do what I do. Patience and hard work is the answer. It's a skill and skills have to be practiced.
So if Eli, or anybody else, wants you to get anywhere at all they'll have to train you.
me: Why would he suddenly do this?
mysi: Do you want to advance or don't you?
me; I was already about to take a self hypnosis course
mysi: This is a different skill from that one. This is foundational. You can't face yourself enough to do self hypnosis, without being able to handle the hard work and patience. So that's probably your answer
He probably did it to prepare you for the course so you could do it better
me: You mean by going away, I would try harder to reach him?
mysi: I mean you have to learn about how sometimes you will do things imperfectly and make mistakes. You have to actually try to practice for a long time, persist in the face of apparent obstacles, and you will be tested every step of the way, as we all are. You have to make mistakes so that you can learn to handle making them gracefully. You wanted to know how I can do what I do, all of this has to be actually practiced through, like a dance.
me: Yes I understand, but why all so suddenly. It's doesn't match up.
mysi: Well, if you registered for the course
me: I think rather something else has happened.
mysi: Then you need to do this first Ok, believe what you want. I've told you what I think.
me: I was never gonna stay the way that I was doing. Thus not to keep my current method.. My desire to hear him actually speak is the biggest wish of all..
mysi: That's fair. Maybe so.. If it is a true path forward, it'll test you, but you will get what you asked for. You wanted, before, to have everyone verify your ideas, and didn't have confidence. Now, you are willing to argue the point based on faith and inner certainty. That shows you have been learning the confidence you wished for.
If you ask for something good, you will get it eventually, but the learning experience is not always pleasant.
me: So with this do you believe me now that I was contacting eli all this time?
mysi: I'm not sure either way. How would I know? I'm just some person telling you my ideas.
me: ok.
back to group posts.:
so jezzah was talking about she “slept”with nabs and my ex decided to copy his voice and she wanted to hear it. my ex did a lot of teasing with the ascian claw etc and did voice overs of non spoken cutscenes. in short nabs was in the picture that few hours.
me: He voiced over non spoken scenes, while standing next to me. Eli 12000+ yo virgin omg so horrible.
jezzah: I kept having a dream where when he attacked Moenbryda I intervened and instead of killing her he rips apart my top and my boobs go bouncing, he instantly falls in love and gets a bloody nose and then kidnaps me, kicks Minfilia to the curb and we do the Ascian tango XD
me: XDXDXDXDXD
jezzah: Eli a virgin XD he is during the game.
me: yes that
jezzah: That's basically how nabs and I bonded, The Ascian Tango XD.
me: XD
jezzah: Sex we had sex
me: I know I get that.
jezzah: His favorite spot is between my breasts. Ask him when you see him.
me: Sounds familiar ..... My ex
jezzah: There isn't anything like Viera breasts I'm telling you
I'm keeping you up I'm sorry but I don't really have anyone else I can talk to
me: Well anyway I really need to go to bed now. ( it was close to 1 am).
jezzah: Damn time difference
me: Yeah I think I gonna have a night with RL Nabs here. In mortal body
jezzah: "As long as you're safe and don't get knocked up by the psycho you're...ok I guess"
^Hades
me: I got birth control
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that morning:
me: I miss him,
His essence is gone in my eli plushie which was my comfort when he wasn't there, and the Unity song of Alan Walker has lost his meaning...... Mysi*** caused allot of harm. I would like to thank emet-selch to cheer up my despair I had.
I dreamed about him after long long time ago. But my bond with eli isn't anywhere anymore or very weak .
Also this : (showed screenshots in the group of the conversation of me and mysi)
There is however a truth in this, and that when M***ie spoke to eli in the beginning. Eli said I need to do the work to hear him speak. But why so suddenly.....
jezzah: Don't trust her, she's not right, She's talking out of her ass. Idk what is going on with Elidibus. I think he is trying to protect you. Idk what. But she just gives me very bad vibes. I'm going back to sleep, I'm feeling a bit panicked myself. I don't feel Emet near. There's a void where he's usually at and I am hyper on edge.
me: Oh I felt a gaping void in my heart. The love I had dissappeared. Before falling asleep I had one last thought. If I could be with emet for a change. And somehow that worked.
I think he is with me.
Trying to fill that emptyness. But being awake it doesn't help that much.
He is more available in my dreams.. At least you know where yours went to. I didn't sadly.
I still feel empty though. My desire to train myself has actually lessened by Eli's leaving.
So I have talked to my higherself. Since I don't have to validate her presence, well only by asking in the name of God, jesus, and holy spirit. (I am not a Christian though, its used as a safety net to make sure). Elidibus went away for 2 reasons I could come up with via questions.
[redacted personal reason]
And something bad is going on somewhere far away from earth. No to protect me from it, because it doesn't affect us humans or earth.
It seem to be going the good way, and he seems that he will be back tomorrow at noon.
But then again yesterday he said himself he would come back today at noon. So I don't know it anymore. Maybe he calculated wrongly of the progress of what he is busy with?
jezzah: I knew something was going on I could feel a massive shift in the Astral Plane. I did have a very nice dream but it's not important as it wasn't about Ascians. Is Emet still with you?. I can't tell if he's back yet.
me: Not sure. Didn't paid attention to it. But perhaps,. I just received this in the mail
me: It gave a little bit of hope.
tk: Nice :)
jezzah; I hope Eli comes back to you, you need it.
me: I certainly do :( I feel lost. Maybe emet went after Elidibus or something,
All I can do is hope he will come back.
jezzah: I don't like feeling empty and scared. Emet makes me feel safe.
me: Sigh. I am happy for you.
I never felt so empty before..
jezzah; I have on a lot of occasions. I've never felt so loved and protected when Emet is around. i can't actually tell if he's around or not. Feels empty.
me: ikr
jezzah: I notice my autism flares up pretty heavily when he's not around. sighs I miss him.
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that evening I came up with something to make an attempt to communicate with elidibus.
So I did a hypnosis on myself, it was like the QHHT session but quicker (yay :D)
Before I started:
I wanted to try something I suddenly come up with.
Sight sharing to see what's going on.
Few minutes later I realised the pokémon latias and Latios could do the same in the 5th pokémon movie.
So this motivated me to try a session.
At first did the necessary steps to fully relax. I can only do that by laying down.
While sitting I am to much focused on my back to keep sitting.
I tried focusing on Eli, to let me know what going on.
Even though I heard his voice a mine:
Eli: a neighbour planet of the Source is under attack, we have to protect it.
Me: share me what you see.
I saw a huge alien space ship.
He launched an energy attack on it, (like in dbz ya know) big explosion.
Me: do I interrupt you?
Eli: a little but not as much as your standard method by calling me to earth.
Me: can I help fighting?
Eli: how would--
Me: --pull me in.
I don't know how it happened I saw a vague image of him sending out a beam of energy to pulling my soul in. But the next thing I know I was beside him.
I saw the alien spaceship.
I launched some attacks with eli.
Emet-selch hopped in somewhere in between and helped, lahabrea too.
at some point, Elidibus was hit on his stomach area by a laser or energy beam from that shop. He was hurt. I became so focking furious I transformed in that fire bird phoenix.
Lahabrea said to eli: you never told me she was merged with that phoenix I created.
Eli: (panting answering) I forgot.
Lahabrea smiled.
I launched a fire blast in pokémon style at that ship. And it went down.
I transformed back to myself after that attack.
Healing eli directly afterwards.
Eli: thank you.
And we kissed for a short moment.
Emet: we are not done yet.
Eli: More are coming.
Me: I got time to stay for a while. can't we fuse together to make ascian prime?
Eli was unsure if that was possible.
Me: lahabrea where is igeyorhm? Re-ascended her if needed. We need more power of ascian primes.
He was, startled. But couldn't do a thing.
Me: emet get azem here if possible.
Emet: what? The warrior of light?
Me: only is he can breath here ofcouse.
Emet: that would be an issue.
Me: ugh dammit. Fine then we must continue this, way then.
All of our glyphs appeared in front of our faces. I tried to fuse with eli. for one moment I saw a combined glyph of ours, but didn't go through to become actually one to become a prime.
Pissed as I was, I transformed myself into that phoenix again but bigger. I needed aether for that. And all of the unsundered gave me their energy, well not all of it of course.
An entire fleet of big alienships were coming. I charged up an massive attack.
And launched it,
It was, so massive it was a huge big ball of fire explosion. That expanded and became extremely dangerous even for the ascians.
I made a quick protect spell upon them, and swooped them out (while being the bird)
Next thing I now I was normal again I brought them to safety.
I noticed later I was on the moon. The Source's moon.
Me: am I on the moon? I looked up? Is that the Source?
Emet: aye it is.
Me: the continents look like that of Earth if you see from so afar.
Emet: yes, that why some drifted off souls who were asleep landed there, they mistook it for the Source.
Me: is everything save now? Can you come home now? Well my home for now that is.
Eli: not sure, we need to stay here to check if it stays save. Then we will be back.
Emet: there is a Galactic shift going on.
Me: also on Earth?
Emet: nay not yet, but the wrong kind invaders a making use of it to attack other planets.
Me: will they come to earth too?
Emet: you humans of earth can defend their home planet better then we do. They won't come that fast to earth, your more save on earth.
Me: maybe so, I would still Like to go home. So I can help my home planet.
Emet smiled.
Eli: thank you for helping.
And he kissed me.
And I saw it as a cutscene of the game where first emet on sight and then lahabrea and both were smiling at the sight of me kissing eli.
I felt the aroused sensation of the kissing coming up in my psychical body.
After the kissing, we waved goodbye.
While I was dropping down slowly i shouted: I hope I see you soon!
Eli: we will.
And I returned.
And woke up slowly.
Now I hope this wasn't my imagination. ( no it wasn’t gained confirmation later)
Session was about 40min.
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dec 23rd
me: I never heard a black bird singing in the winter before in the early morning O-0.
Does that mean anything?
Usually they start at February/March to find a mate. This is unusual. Very loud too. And it was still very dark. I heard him at 6:40 am already when I was writing a dream in my journal. (edited)
Now again on 8 am.
Wiki : You sometimes hear them as late as July, often after it has rained.
It's winter. But this rang a bell.
"The rains have ceased and we have been graced by another beautiful day." even though I didn't rain here.
I really hope he returns today according to my higher self this evening atleast before 12am and she was certain about it this time. Lets hope nothing get interrupted.
@jezzah: Is Emet-selch back yet? Please read meditation story. Might be important to read.
jezzah: he is.
tk: I read it
jezzah: But I've been sleeping more than I should and I feel weird
I will read it later
me: I had that too the past few days. @TK what do you think from it?
tk: Yeah I have and a few friends of mine have been sleeping more. Thought phoenix was cool lol
me: Yeah, I had a couple of dreams before believe 3 so far. That I transformed into a phoenix.
That latest one was a sudden confirmation that it was lahabrea's creation. I could merge with to use it healing powers. But um yeah fire too xD because lahabrea made it lol (edited)
At that same dream it ended with my own convocation crystal. The color looked like a reddish brown marbled Amber with a different constellation on it.
I believe I posted that dream here.
me: Like this, but instead on black spots it had marble lines. And ofcourse in the shape we know in game. (which is the correct shape)
some time later at 9 pm iirc.
me: He is finally back!
Still Lovers. I told him that what we do, lovers also do. So now he has accepted the term lovers. I feel allot happier now.
TK: good ^^
jezzah: That's really good
me: Btw did you had time to read the meditation?
He was so modest about it.
I asked if he had to do allot of hard battles after I left
He said no,
Did you answer in my favour : yes.
So you did had allot of hard battles? : yes.
So you didn't want me to worry about you: no.
jezzah: That is so so sweet
me: Let me know when you read it, it's pretty much confirmed it happened so yeah.
some other chit chat happened and jezzah ended with this:
jezzah: He does not appreciate being yoinked from a nap
In his words
"I rarely get the chance for a decent nap don't wake me please"
XD I'm giggling at that
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dec 24th
the day started with sex with eli. <3
me: Ah yes he is gonna stay until Sunday night, need work to do on Monday.
Yay I got eli for Christmas
me: @jezzah did you read my meditation? Then you will also know where emet went.
jezzah: I read it. Kind of jealous. Actually.
me: Why that?. Transforming into the phoenix I take it. I think it's a Amaurotine thing. I knew I could do that since I had dreams prior to this happening.
Since I am particularly with my dream body at that place in space I can do anything. I didn't even question if it would work. I just did it..
jezzah: I wonder what all I can do? I'm not originally from Amaurot so I probably can't do a lot of what you can do. I do feel very inferior at the moment
me; Well my ex isn't from Amaurot either.
jezzah: I don't even know the name of my birth nation. I'm feeling inferior
tk: I mean you have more then I do
me: true to that.
jezzah: True but I feel like I'm losing that power too.
me: To astral travel?
jezzah: yeah.
me: Yeah, I was, able to do that hypnosis meditation myself after I had help the first time with the QHHT session.
Though I heavily suggest to do actually meditation instead of randomly communicating while not in trance state.
Because when not in trance state you mind can play tricks on you.
( even though I wasn’t allowed from elidibus to tell her directly she has a emet clone, I often hinted allot to it subtly.)
a couple of other subjects later:
me: Omg I just heard from my ex, that he had some fantasy running through his head a while ago
Light creatures like angels fighting of aliens in outer space
I guess that's not a fantasy in this case!
Mainly exactly like my visions. Except for transforming into something bigger like me.
But the lasers and magic included!
He was alerted/recalled this when he read my visions
Untempered ascians are pretty much sorta angels.
jezzah: Well....yes I do see that
me: Has emet-selch anything to say about their galaxtic battle?
jezzah: Emet is kinda keeping quiet cuz for reasons and I just appreciate his presence atm
which hunt on twitter started that day…….and blocked 2 persons.
and I even deleted the complaining on my own discord server so I can’t add that anymore
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dec 25th
tk: When I saw this render I thought of you but with maybe phoenix feathers
me: Well I was literally a phoenix xD Insert that fire bird mount for the most part.
tk: Ah okay lol. Still see you in something like that ^^
me: Niceeeeee
(yes I agree sort of human form of the phoenix haha just take this gaia pic and make the hair either silver of gold, and the rest phoenix colors, yes , yes I like….)
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jezzah: This popped up on Twitter and it just STUCK with me
( i haven't found the artist of this piece, so i can't replace it with a link hopefully i can get it later),
Idk what about this but I seem to be pulled in. The comment about angels earlier and Twitter is lit up with Emet is the Angel of Truth.
tk: (gaping Pikachu face emoti) :o
jezzah: What are you thoughts on it though.
me: What you found on twitter?.
jezzah; yes. Emet as an Angel, and THE Angel of Truth.
me: hmmmm Sound logical.
jezzah: We were talking about them being essentially Angels and then my Twitter lights up with Emet as the Angel of Truth and then this picture.
me; That's faith giving you answers your subconscious need. Well thats my point of view.
jezzah: That's what I concluded. It's a really good feeling. I just wanted to get your opinion.
so during the start of the witch hunt about me on twitter a new person with the name Ghost contacted me on twitter she wanted to read my galactic battle. and promised me not to make fun of me etc. after everything told plus allot of other things in the few days that passed. she became a member. to be fooled on April 9th 2021 in terms of writing this. she lied she believed ascians we real. her goodbye message will be in the April 2021 issue. what she said as the last sentence of it “i was just here to sate my own curiousity”. very good acting my must confess. but my sus from the beginning when I was still talking to her on twitter were on the right end so it seems.
later this day:
me: Why can't I post a vid of 5 sec here?
My ex immitated lahabrea X_X
I didn't know I would become weak of that. If my ex would shave his face, and dye his hair blond. He is pretty much this. But his hair needs to grow for another half a year to get that length
jezzah: I always saw Lahabrea as looking very wierd to me.XD That nose just looks fake to me.
me: My god thats even accurate. Me ex had a nose operation and they made it ugly as hell xD.
The worst thing is, I saw lahabrea's face where my ex was when I closed my eyes. I was like noooooooooooooo.
jezzah: They're using him XD
me: So yeah I got banged by Laha.
jezzah: Not fully possessing. Like...puppeteering.
( or body joining so to speak. idk if lahabrea actually did that, this was just funny shit talking)
jezzah: Well look at you inviting the convocation into your lady bits. I thought that was MY job XD
me: I did not know I was such a slut.
jezzah: Me neither XD
me: XD
jezzah: Go girl go. xD Looks like I downsized and you upsized. It's the shift XD.
me: xD
me: My heart goes for eli still though.
I wouldn't be surprised if I fucked Laha and emet 1 time, when I became a member of the convocation. Fuck it all. Now my ex can immitate Elidibus
jezzah: XD Your ex is a conduit.
me: lol
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dec 26th
as the morning started I had sex with eli, but me ex went after it. then eli was probably “you ain’t gonna fuck my wife alone” and so he joined with it xD.
I bet the look on his face was this: https://twitter.com/huasira/status/1298032097236590593/photo/1
(the stern face)
Eli was there the entire night, so much present he was never was before.
found out that ex member M***ie was calling me a homophobic at the witch hunt on twitter (via an alt account). so much for a believer of the same. thought you were better then this to believe everything they say about me. what they all said and I mean everyone who joined this hunt were all spreading lies like the plague. they just assumed things, and stated them as facts. while they never ask me about it or even did the effort to dig up the truth. only a few people actually did this, and I mean actually only a few. 4 or so. not more then that.
jezzah: Is M***ie saying it's all crap and that you're a bad person???
tk: Who is she saying is homophobic
me: me
jezzah: That's bs
me: Mysi*** maybe misguided like the tempered ascians.
But she still believes in them. And is not making fun of it. Or insulting it.
( but this changed after a few months, not in the terms of making fun of it, but in the sense of how shall I put this, talking the believes straight ( to sorta justify it, thank you for that) but attacking my on my behavior (why??) and also believes everyone who says something bad about me and my behavior. )
tk: I don't think she would tbh, I just think m***ie thinks you are homophobic and wants to smear you for that, or if not smear at least keep people from following you or interacting with you.
me: Wierd word use homophobic. I am OK with gay people.
tk: I know. I'm just saying that's what she thinks for some reason. Well Im still here for you and so is Jezzah
me: Yeah thank you so much.
eventhough this conversation was wayyyyy longer, I do not feel inclined to add all of it.
another conversation started about emet was testing jezzah. everything she thinks of emet or want to be intimate that thancred dream pops up in her mind.
me: I think you need to cast out thancred. Refuse him.
jezzah: But I do like him. So, I'm actually having some time with him. There's some kind of block or something. I need to focus and train myself. I may have temporarily lost my connection. I need to get it back. This may be a test of my abilities. A growing moment for me
me: Yes I think so too.
jezzah: Oh boy I'm kinda excited. I'm working hard, damn it I am determined
me: They want to keep training ourselves. So yeah. I am not surprised emet is doing this on purpose.
You need to take on actual meditation
TK: I believe in you
jezzah: When I have some time to myself I will try
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dec 27th
at midsnight after 12am
NSFW alert
jezzah: Having sex with Emet think I broke through. Mmmmm
He's still amazing
me: How did you do that so quickly?
jezzah: I told Thancred to Fuck Off. I was so determined.
me: Good.
jezzah: I want my Hades. I can feel him touching me.
me: Yeah, I only want eli too. The others are like similar to one night stands. Physically?
jezzah: YES!!!
me: nice
jezzah: Oh my Gods I feel so Euphoric rn. I'm gonna cum.
me: While your typing? That's a skill XD.
jezzah: It's so much more intense now. Shiiiit fuck I'm coming so....nnnngh. I can feel myself kissing him. Making out with him. I'm at my desk.
me: Niceeee
jezzah: I feel his touch all over. I'm so in love
me: I had double penetration today XD ( well since it was midnight the evening before)
END of NSFW
jezzah: When I broke through I saw his face
me: whut How?!
jezzah: Yeah I broke through his barrier I saw his true face.
me: Can you draw it?
jezzah: nope
me: But how the fuck did you break through?
jezzah: He was blushing. I used mental brute force. I was like, I WILL have you and ONLY you
I only focused on him And I pushed and focused as hard as I could
me: But how do you pushed and focused so hard mentally? Explain pls xD
jezzah: I used seduction as my focus. Well, it's hard to explain. I kept trying to find the right setting
me: I wanna see Eli too with my own eyes.
jezzah: Turns out he really likes the beach
So setting was the Moon Fire Faire, I was in the new outfit
We started fucking on the beach and then BAM broke through then we went somewhere more private
I kept telling him how I only wanted him, He was my Soul Mate my Soul Bond for Life, for Eternity
He was my Husband
My true husband
And then I felt the connection again
I wish I could only be with him
Maybe I am not actually poly but just empty because I don't have him and I'm just sleeping around because I don't have my beloved.
me: Wait but did you see his face in your minds eye or with eyes open normally.
jezzah: My mind's eye
It was anime style
me: Owwwwwww. I thought normally
jezzah: But it was the true him
His face looked like something major clicked in his head
I love him and only him
That sex was amazing and more intense. I could physically feel him touching me holding me and thrusting into me. I could feel our tongues as we kissed. His lips. His hair. Omg his hair feels like silk. And it's actually white btw
me: His hair? That's very detailed.
jezzah: Not like silvery white but white
Yes yes I could physically feel his hair
It's so soft
me: Wtf. I mean I feel being thrusted and Eli's hands and body, and kissing and tongues. But hair? No.
jezzah: You don't believe me
me: Yes I do. But it's mind blowing you felt his hair
jezzah: I was shocked too but kinda left my mind I was in the middle of fucking the love of my life
It's so silky smooth
me; Hhmm I will try to focus more too then.
jezzah: Like a baby's hair after you bath it and brush it
Super soft XD
me: Wow. Well I am going to sleep now.
jezzah: I hope you can connect with Eli more.
me: I hope so too!
jezzah: I tried to clear all distractions out of my head
I had to find the setting that felt right. And just hone in on my target XD
As soon as I saw Thancred's face I was super pissed I was like "No, go away, I want Hades"
Kinda pushed him aside.
me: Nice going xD. You are being tested for loyalty to 1 person.
jezzah: I guess I passed
me: indeed
then we finally called it the night leaving her 1 last message:
jezzah: So I just realized why the Moon Fire Faire worked for a setting. At first I thought it was just because it was around my Nameday but....is his nameday in the summer months too? He is a Gemini
Are our Namedays.....super close together??? O.O June Bugs noice.
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the started off with jezzah sending me screenshots of the witch hunt……I was getting depressed of it.
me: I hate this cyber harassment about me. Its depressing I all did today was via other accounts figuring out who to block. Seriously had, suicide thoughts for like 30min when I woke up and saw that post.
The thoughts are gone now. But those people are the ones killing me.
jezzah: I'm sorry, kind of awake now. How are you feeling hun?
me: crap, Depressed.
and they all bestowed me with we love you gifs. (thank you all again)
then the conversation went elsewhere about picking up drawing again and later pokemon
me: Progress.
But I need to drive home now.
Maybe I will continue later :)
TK: good :eyes:
jezzah: I don't remember Eli being that big
me: @ TK Thank you!
You mean broad built xD I don't care.
It still a man. A guy can be bulky right xD
Also the robes are making you allot broader in built in general
Even with fake leather you got that
Referring to my cosplay
jezzah: From my memory Eli is strong built but slim.
me: I am drawing from this pic
When I get the hang of it I will make myself with it.
jezzah: I was significantly smaller than Hades. And thinner
me: I believe he and my ex got like the same structure. Hells that why they are so competitive.
Broad upper built in chest and shoulders, slim body.
Athletic body. And eli is like 14cm shorter then my ex. My ex is 192cm (Hades in game)
Eli is 178cm (I asked )
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and so later jezzah asked what mobile game we play and I showed pokemon go and HOME and thus we talked about pokemon.
me: Lahabrea likes pokémon lol. If I can keep the memories of this life when I become a convocation member again. I gonna create pokémon on the Source with lahabrea.
jezzah: LOL XD That's gonna be one hell of a time XD
me: yassssss. lahabrea will probably make the legendarys xD. no wait. no just no. considering kyogre and groudon o-o fuck no.
tk: Don't let him see PMD's Primal Dialga lol
me: i havent seen it yet.
tk: It's just like how Primal Kyogre and Groudon are but it became mindless and caused the world end
me; noooooooo what really? they have put the world's end into pokemon xD.
me: i dont actually read something about the world's end though, or destruction of the entire world
tk: Well it pretty much caused time to stop, but it's in the future and you fix it before it happens.
me: ahhhh
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dec 28th
jezzah: Aya, I'm asking Emet for his nameday. The day is 14th but I am getting mixed between June and July. All that's sticking is JU. July 14th. Yes. X3. He's a Cancer. Wait. Yes He is a Cancer. Not literally XD. His Zodiac is Cancer the Crab. My Nameday is June 21st Hades' nameday is July 14th
OwO
We're Summer Babies
What's your input on Hades' nameday?
me: Oh I haven't asked anything about that.
But could be I don't know xD
jezzah: I posted something ok Twitter
I'll repost it here
I've been having this problem
I want things fair between the two of us.
me: i understand the problem.
though azem is a guy atm. but when azem re-incarnates to a woman again. he will probably go to the female azem. but this doesnt mean you cant be with him now.
jezzah: I know, I know. It's just....I don't want to feel ashamed and guilty when I fantasize about Thancred
He's dead at this point isn't he?
me: he cant travel to Earth like the ascians physically. so you might have a good point here.....
only the ascians can get to our planet
(additional note well we will see in endwalker who dies……right?, right?)
jezzah: It's kinda harmless fantasizing
Idk how hard I can tell Hades how much I want to be with him for him to realize he's not ever going to lose me
I just want to fangirl over Thancred
me: lol, perhaps thancred recently died. i dont know. because i had a dream about him too remember?
jezzah: Yes, wait, is Thancred a sundered Ascian??? O.o???
me: noooo
jezzah: XD
Lol
He's something
He's beautiful
me: he dead, as a soul you can travel to other worlds xD
jezzah: Ah, well, I still enjoy him
me: ghost sex with thancred xD. dont you already got enough with hades? xD
jezzah: nope
me: ahahhahahhahahha
jezzah: Hades is my height or slightly taller
THANCRED IS A TINY MAN I CAN DOMINATE
Muahaha
No seriously
When I'm in viera form he is so small compared to me
jezzah: He comes up to my shoulders. About. I'm looking down at him
Still gonna crush him with my cheeks because I am a big curvy lady
Oh, Emet gave me a tail for my nameday so I have a tail in my mind's eye
A little viera tail ^^
Happy Viera
I can wiggle it and it makes me very fucking happy <3
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slight nsfw talk
me: I just had sex with eli. We eventually had sex while standing.
And after kept standing while merging bonding souls. He is still hugging me right now while I am typing this. He is so sweet.
jezzah: THERE YA GOOOOO
The best feeling is them snuggling you after a hardcore fuck
Mmmmmm I fucking ADORE being able to feel Hades snuggling me and I snuggling him
His touch is intoxicating
me: Oh he isn't that hard core xD. It was a gentle fuck this time.
jezzah: Hades is hardcore ~~~
Love when he pounds into me
I love making out with him
Love touching and caressing him
mmmm fuck he is just PERFECT~~~~<3
me: I wish I could touch back ya know with physical hands .
I can only do that if I would dream about him.
end of nsfw
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dec 29th
me; I just did a short meditation on my question how they rejoin the sundered souls atm, because a peaceful 8th rejoining had happened. And I wondered how.
I asked eli to show me how. The first thing I saw was as meteor shower of sundered souls on the Source that instantly joins with the people that are sundered. It's harmless. Like a light bulb joining in your body. (this isn't everyone, because new souls are born too and those aren't sundered but won't become an ancient because they are adapted to the current human bodies)
But yeah then I had the question of how to achieve this.
It took a while, allot of other random things I saw including sex with eli lol. After that I repeated my question,
(I wasn't very deep anymore in my meditation so I need to redo the second part probably for confirmation.)
and a meteor shower on a shard that worked on reverse. Sundered People changing into light bulbs while they are asleep so they won't notice.
Then those are carried to the Source and pour down into the people where they belong to.
So the shards remain existing
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later we talked about a certain dream TK had. and we were speculating who it could have been. and that’s she didn’t see a glyph appearing like I had with elidibus.
tk: Not sure what to think about dream last night. I don't know who it was but had like sexual experience in it, I remember some parts of the dream but not really that, only that when I woke up I felt like I had been groped and I felt really off
me: Hmmm interesting, who was it in the dream? Or don't you know that either? Not any recall who or what it looked like?
tk: I just remember blonde hair. Not long
me: Try to figure out who it was. You didn't saw a ascian glyph following your sight?
jezzah: Sounds to me like Pashtarot. That's the only other blonde Ascian I know of.
me: Yeah he also rang to mind
tk: Didn't see a gliph , no. But that's who popped up when I tried to think about it but I was not sure
me: But do not jump to conclusions just yet. Maybe it's not a ascian at all
Be careful in the beginning of these things.
tk: Yeah
jezzah: Be careful pls
tk: I will
jezzah: It will be exciting if she's Bonded with Pashtarot. That's an if
me: Yeah, but it's wasn't like my experience. She didn't saw any glyph even though I was more awake then sleeping I was in a sort of hypnotised trance. So we can't say if it was a ascian on her case.
jezzah: I didn't see a glyph when I connected with Emet
In my experience Pash is a bit eccentric
me: Eli was probably (quote) "excited" of sudden hornyness that it made his glyph appear..
jezzah: Lool yup.
me: It was atleast a good act of him, because I wouldn't believe what had happened back then if he didn't do that.. Heck I wouldn't even know who it was. The glyph was so conclusive.
jezzah: I mean the white robe should have given it away.
me; He was invisible sadly, but the glyph was just so him.
tk: Well I'll try to see what happens next time.
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jezzah: He's been really snuggly lately and we had sex a few times
I think he's not going to do anything crazy until we settle into the new house
Last snuggle session I could feel his ears OwO
I just adore touching his face
and kissing him
me: Wtf how do you that xD. Like actually physical touching?
jezzah: >w<
I can feel my spirit self touching him
I get the sensations in my hands and on my body
You know how you feel Eli touching you
It's the reverse for me
I can also feel when he touches me
mmmmmm
me: Hmmm but still I cant actually touch anything of him, well this pillow will help I think xD (edited)
I felt his arms today stroking my back while hugging
And his claws :eyes:
jezzah: That's progress
Just gotta focus on him, I think you gotta resonate with his soul.
me: I found a way to bypass spirits pretending to be eli.
I had this issue allot when he was away battleling in space.
I first ask for my higher self to come.
Validate her presence. And then ask for the real Elidibus. But I firstly ask if he is around or available or else I still get imposters. Luckily only one time happened so far
For now it's successful.
me: So can we give ourselves a name like it looks like a religion or something. (just speaking my mind here) I thought about ascianism xD
It randomly popped in my head
Let me know what ya think
jezzah: uuuuuuuuh...we can give ourselves a name
Asciantology XD. Or ya know what our name is now The Convocation of Planet Earth.
me: Yeah I mean our believes. Our knowing. The group will be called as it is. I mean like Christianity, satanism, uhhh whatever "ism" that's what I mean.
Ascianity
jezzah: YES I LIKE THAT XD ascianity sounds like Insanity.
me; Yes that xD.
jezzah: Ascianite we call ourselves. Our religion is Ascianity XD. This is good.
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NSFW
me: Well that was a good run of sex just now.
And allot of hugging and kissing thanks to the body pillow. At the end he was toying with my left hand I could feel his claw tickeling my palm, it felt erotic and funny at the same time.
jezzah: Noice, I got so many snuggles with Hades ^^
me: Just had sex again, he was wild this time xD.
jezzah: You two are going at it pretty hardcore
I'm kinda jealous
me: XD
We are both horny bitches
jezzah: I can tell
Hades and I have been doing a lot of making out and frenching
And snuggling
It doesn't really go farther than that
We're making out rn
I love feeling his mouth on mine mmmm
me: Ah yeah, he bit my in my neck and then
Licked it xD.
jezzah: Oooooooh lucky ducky
me: XD
END OF NSFW
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dec 30th
Ghost joined the server
I will skip the acting. and the conversations with her and jezzah. nothing really new was mentioned anyway.
during a ultra active chat of jezzah and Ghost I woke up in the night and after just laying awake.
me: Ahhhhhh I still can't sleep I couldn't even meditate.
To much child memories.
Like I was pretty much an atheist as a kid I hated religion classes or whatever its called in English.
Only because of my ex, and sometimes in desperate times I prayed to god, I became slow believing. But I don't call myself a Christian.
Recalls of myself as a teenager.
At age of 12/13 I wore this long fake leather coat. I felt so comfortable in it!
Alway wore black clothing, but wasn't goth.
Had a thing for white/silvered haired anime characters Insta crushes mostly.
Other current things.
And I had this dream months ago I was following jezus, but I wore black robes O-0 maybe I was saved from a cult or something.
The very reason I ask things in the name of God, jesus and the Holy spirit is because of all the negative shit in our house. And I need to be cautious.
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me: Yeah the USA is full of paranormal things. Its actually rare in the Netherlands. Only our house I probably a hot spot, my ex attracts them I think.
He is sorta possessed by a demon or some other evil spirit that is immune to Christian things. He has a hard time often remaining his sense of self.
, allot of psychoses.
The thing inside him is possibly destroying his digestive system. He has allot of issues there.
That thing is trying to break my bond with eli in my dreams. Because he can't control me when I am awake.
Eli saved me a couple of times recently in my dreams swooping me out of it.
I am pretty much enlightened ascian so dangerous to that thing and is trying to break me. But eli is protecting me. Which I am very grateful for.
jezzah: I'm still figuring my own powers out and where I fit into everything but I have many things come for me too. Emet is always there for me. I've had this demon protecting me since I was born
He's good. Or at least he's there to keep me alive
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jezzah: Who in the convocation have the idea to design the "Big Bad" Ascian Uniform like that?
me: xD
jezzah: Like they OBVIOUSLY didn't wear that in Amaurot
Mito: "It's not phase mom! This is who I am!"
jezzah: xD.
me: I asked eli, and their robes are the same as in game as what they currently wear.
jezzah: Who designed it, hades or lahabrea?
me: Hmm i think lahabrea.
jezzah: ask. It is one of the two.
me: I can't right now. I will do later, I will remember the question.
jezzah: I'm too exhausted to ask myself.
me: Me too actually.
I seriously think lahabrea.
He helped me with my cosplay, he likes crafting xD
jezzah: It should have been a collective agreement between the Unsundered but I do not think Eli would have wanted to bother with the "Uniform"
me: Laha probably is intrigued of how earthlings use their hands to create things instead of magic.
If he notices you putting you soul into it, he guides you to make it perfect within your skills. I had multiple times, I was like: I can't figure this out, help me Lahabrea.
Then a few seconds later I came up with solution to fix the problem I was running into.
M***ie confirmed it was lahabrea helping me.
jezzah: I may call upon Laha to help me with my art
me: You first need to practice yourself.
He did not arrive sooner then I started with the shoulderplates.
Before that I did the boots, he wasn't there yet. If you dedicate yourself to something that is art, ffxiv armor/gear/ especially ascian stuff. He will notice you. If you want Laha to help you, you need to do the work first, show him that you are dedicated enough to achieve your goal.
jezzah: He's been in my life before, to fuck it up
me: that doesn’t sound like lahabrea.
jezzah: We used to be friends. I think he's just pranking me.
me: Well he likes to poltergeist
So on that matter xD perhaps.
jezzah: Actually in Amaurot, we used to be best friends and did a lot of shit we weren't supposed to.
I think he may want to rekindle that friendship.
me: XD, well then. He dropped my painting from the wall.
Activated the automatic bubble blower.
Dropped other things on the ground
Knocking on the door did my ex freak out too much and expelled him away with a Christian Cross.
Lahabrea has a grudge against crosses xD.
jezzah: I don't blame him.
me: xD
jezzah: I hate those things too. Omfg he and I are alike. I would do all that too if I could get away with it.
me; Yeah I don't like those crosses either.
Originally I am more aligned with darkness too and fire.....
As far as I know, I am pretty much his student atm (I am just as a crazy head as he is) . Will get his title when he retires.
But before that, making pokémon on the Source xD.
jezzah: XD omfg.
me: xD
mito: Did expelling work? :o
me: He stay away more yes, sadly. We didn't had any poltergeist activities anymore.
...... I can probably get him only back if I start crafting again. Ascian masks.
jezzah: I want Lahabrea to start doing shit to my husband. Can I ask for that?.
me: to poltergeist?
jezzah: Harmless Poltergeist shenanigans to punish the asshole who I am married to?
me; Go ahead xD ask if you can reach him.
jezzah: Don't hurt anyone just freak him out.
me: If you got a chance to record it, put it online.
jezzah: I will.
me: xD
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me: So I had this dream about our group xD.
My phone was over flooding with messages of new members, I tried to wake myself up within that dream because I didn't believe that this, was happening xD.
But failed.
Later there was a meet up somewhere.
Huge amount of people in think 100 or something.
I couldn't handle the amount, because everyone was asking questions via on paper written questions
So I need to cut the members
Me: everyone who didn't had any actual encounter with the ascians. (so a spiritguide taking their form) please leave.
All people who had Elidibus dreams left xD. Like half of the group xD
Then my sister Nao** (so not the one who gave the Eli session) promoted a girl which had the same name as I did. And gave her the credit for starting this group.
I walked upon her:
Me: what the hell are you doing?! I am [insert real name] I started this group, not her!
She looked at me as a stupid donkey. ( sorry sis no offense!)
Me: I am Elidibus of this group, I am the leader here ffs.
Nao** : oh sorry I didn't know.
(she did know in that dream, but whatever)
Later I was sitting in a chair with my legs across the handrails. Then I decided while talking to jezzah: pffft now it's just like the convocation of 14 with a shit load of students.
Ya know what let's make an actual convocation of 14 with the most talented people here.
I ordered to the remaining people to separate. Less skilled people to the left, and skilled people to the right.
While they were doing so I grabbed a note block to write on names and titles.
But the writing didn't work somehow, eventually after a couple of tries I could and wrote down Elidibus.
Then I walked towards the skilled people.
I was thinking of where to start with which title.
Me: OK so Loghrif is a, woman with black hair, who volunteers to be her?
5 woman raised their hands.
Me: OK just fight it out.
And so they walked towards each other and somewhat pushing etc happened. I didn't meant it literally lol. Then jezzah picked a (dyed) red haired one, with the right half of her face painted black.
Then I woke up.
tk: I had a similar thought one day recently only I remember you like fighting with someone cause they took something that was related to eli xD.
me: xD . You can type down those dreams here too ya know. Its still regarding us xD.
tk; Kk :)
jezzah: O.o ???? Okay this is interesting.
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dec 31st
Ghost: i was thinking the reason i have so many Emet dreams actually might be since i sleep with his plushie every night. o . o i was looking at how you spoke about how having things in their likeness kind of makes it more profound.
jezzah: Yeah having a physical likeness of them increases the connection they have to your area in the physical world and if you have a sense of the spiritual realm you can meet them
Soul Bonded are a special case as you see with me and Aya
We can have physical interactions with them.
me; That plushie of Eli came to life in mine xD. In a, dream. But remained a plushie
jezzah: And other stuff too.
Ghost: aww
jezzah: Yeah, if you're Soul Bonded to an Ascian crazy ahit can happen
I've had a few crazy dreams with Emet, Nabs, and Elidibus
We don't talk about how I tried to get into Eli's robes(edited)
This was before I was "Enlightened"
I felt immediately bad afterwards XD
I've been a good girl since.
Ghost: LOL me: Yeah when exactly was the last time you did that?. jezzah: A couple months ago iirc.
me: Hhmm, eli hooked onto me on Nov 3 (for usa people, nov 4 for GMT).
jezzah: That was a couple months ago. Last month. Shush. My brain broken we don't argue.
me & Ghost: XD.
jezzah: 5.3 is when I started the schmoozing of Eli. Shortly after when I joined I stopped. Eli off limits Aya's Not mine.
(still that’s still 3 months in between she probably didn’t tell everything).
me: thanks
Ghost: i just view him as a friend ^__^ hes a good guy.
me: That's ok
jezzah: I've been such a good girl dough . I've really bonded with Hades a LOT since joining.
me: That's good to hear :)
jezzah: Our first time having spirit sex was a CRAZY ride. Aya knows. Oh that orgasm was HUGE.
Ghost: he's quite good o v o
me: Oh did emet told you anything about his space battle last week?
jezzah: He's very well endowed
No, I haven't been able to connect to him lately. The move has fucked a lot of shit up
That's why I want to make the new place very Ascian inviting and friendly.
me: I hope you get a, story of him soon then! I would love to hear any details that I haven't witnessed.
Ghost: i'd imagine Hades would like purple candles or black candles in silver containers, if you have ever thought of using candles. i use candles for religious purposes and thats always been great for conjuring. different thing, but regardless.
jezzah: So, with Hades, he's not as actually flamboyant as people think he is. He soft, sophisticated, bookish, and loves theatre a lot.
Ghost: oh good! thats what i had thought too, i think the fandom tends to just make him ultra flamboyant for the same reasons they make g'raha a giga bottom.
and they about other parts of his body like the muscles. but I wonder how much of that was acting on Ghost’s part.
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later that night when I was asleep
jezzah: We're also Soul Bonded, We always orgasm together. At the exact same time
Ghost: thats so cute.
jezzah: After our first soul sex I felt pregnant and went through all three trimesters in a week and he was excited to have kids with me. The sensation went away but it was amazing. He and I still want children. Aya has had a very similar experience with Eli.
jezzah: Also Ghost and I think we're Shards.
tk: :o
jezzah: Like Shards of the same person. Something me, Aya, and Ghost need to explore.
TK: Cool :)
jezzah: I'm interested in your development. How goes the adventure????
Ghost: i really hope you are resonating with Pash :3 that would be so cool.
jezzah: Oh yeeeah we all do. It will be so exciting if we get more information on Pashtarot.
TK: I hope so.
jezzah: You have so much potential wrapped up inside of you, Tk ^^ I believe in you.
tk: ;; aww thank you.
me: about the shard thing. It could be possible.
I wonder what happened to mine, did they go with me to earth? Or are the scattered around the milky-way?
As, far as I know I can't be rejoined anymore when I get back. Because something due being on Earth since the sundering. Also I would count as a different kind of unsundered when I get back home. My first live here was during Atlantis. (to witness the world's end again >. <) well continental scale then.
1 nice thing is that I can ask or discover real happinings.
That graha tia does not exist in the real version. There was a powerful mage that helped the wod with the azem crystal to untemper eli, the sad scene after did happen. But went sleeping in the LS instead.
How the wod got to the First was with cid and the CT.
Ghost: that makes more sense to me honestly
me: Yeah ikr. Also with that the scions never went to the first.
Others joined the quest like ryne and gaia.
And possibly that mage too. Perhaps the shard versions of the scions where there to help idk. I think I am fused with him right now.
I feel so dreamy, zen, fluffy whatever what not. It also gives me pregnancy vibes.
And when I close my eyes I can see his claws at where my hands are.
Ghost: I was trying to meditate and remember things about my past life while I was trying to sleep. Instead, I've had a presence by my bedside for the past hour whose held my hand. I've never felt so loved in my whole life. It felt so tender. I think I can sleep now. It wasn't what I was expecting, but it was wonderful.
me: Oh yes when Eli did that I cried so hard of missing him so much, not able to see him when awake hurts from time to time. He was holding both of my hands....
The love that went through was endless.
me; I had this feeling the last few days, when I lay on my side. I feel something between my boobs, like a amulet or something. But I don't feel a cord around my neck.
I wonder if that is the same amulet I found in a dream and gave back to eli.
Ghost: the first thing that came to mind for me was the Shadowless dungeon set. i dunno if it feels that large, but its what came to mind, if there is no cord.
jezzah: Probably.
it seems I didn’t replied to this. but it isn’t that big. its as big as a convocation crystal replica .
later that day I did a meditation during car travel:
me: OK so after asking confirmation of what I saw this time.
I saw this:
I noticed the sundered ascians battle a spaceship again, but this ship looked like fighter yet, with rockets attached to the wings. But the rockets were not launched, probably for then they would arrive at a planet to bombard things.
The sundered ascians were attacking the ting with magic.
They could use help, atleast I thought that.
I landed on the Source the first thing a, saw, was a aetheryte crystal and stood there in awe. Floating smaller crystals in a circle around it.
Then I noticed I was in mor dhona.
After carefully looking around it looked almost the same! I turned around and whent into the rising stones.
The first one I noticed was tataru.
Tataru: oh I have never seen you before, what brings you here?
I explained I was originally Elidibus's sister pre sundering and that I have lived and still do on planet earth.
She had like a big question mark above head like: Earth?
Me: yeah the Source isn't the only planet with people on it. Planet earth is actually full of hyurs and garleans but without the third eye if I need to make a comparison.
She was flabbergasted to hear about other lives outside of the Source.
Then I told her the sundered ascians are protecting the Source from danger from alien invaders.
T: the ascians?!
Me: aye but they are all untempered don't worry. They are fighting to protect the Source. But they could use some help. Can you call the WoL for me?
She ranged her LS.
The Wol teleported at the entrance of the door. (it's indeed a dude btw).
I told the both of them the WoL needs to find away to fight in space to help the ascians.
Tat: but how?
You need to find a way that he can breath there, with oxygen. I couldn't tell how because I didn't know how far their technology is atm.
Tat: OK we will see what we can do, thanks for letting us know.
Then I went out and walk through the village a bit, then I decided to visit estinien xD.
Instantly I found him but I was, wearing my ascian cloak all of a, sudden.
Me: why am I wearing my robes all of a sudden?
he turned around and was like: an ascian?! and drawed his lance.
Me: woah no need to do that,
I explained who I originally was.
Esti: pre-sundering Elidibus's sister, what are you now then, and where are they?
Me: his lover, I live on planet Earth, and the ascians are fighting in space to protect the Source. The unsundered are on Earth right now. Told some other things which I forgot.
I do remember asking his age atm the number 54 ranged In My head. He still looks as good in game though!
Then something about meeting him again when I got back.
Me: I am afraid you won't be alive anymore, I got still about 60 years to live, I am 33.
Esti: ow, well I wish you the best of luck then.
Me: thank you.
I tried to look for aetheryte crystals again. Then I was rubbed out of it, because my ex wanted to know if he could drive harder (can due after 7pm).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- some NSFW talk:
jezzah: So question. When you get horny do you just call for Eli or do you go for a toy? Like how does this happen so often? I'm genuinely curious cuz I want more Emet Sex.
me: I don't got sex toys lol. He usually wants either in the morning or evening. Sometimes he makes me horny out of the blue. And sometimes I just ask if he is in the mood , if he isn't he says that with a" no" too. So yeah . I am not forcing anything xD Today was like, watching moon and talk.
Discovered I needed to do some work in the evening, he stay a while while me working but halfway he went upstairs I think. After work I went upstairs, called upon him and asked if he wanted some fuck and if he was in the mood. Gained both "yes" lol.
jezzah: I still need to learn a lot but you seem to be getting a better connection with him. I lost a lot when I had to pack my blankie away. The one with Emet all over it . Having something physical really helps solidify that bond
me: Yeah I noticed that allot with the body pillow!
jezzah: I can't wait til I get my Body Pillow And I WILL have that emet daki.
END OF NSFW!
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WELL THEN that was everything of December besides the all of the dreams which will be down below:
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dec 1st
some weird dream about how the unsundered came to earth. something with a meeting in the chrysalis and they found out that there were ancients/ascian missing and found out where those went to. and that the unsundered came to earth to look for them and to pick us up to bring home.
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dec 3rd
this dream consisted of multiple tiny lucid dreams together actually way to much to write down.
I was searching for elidibus, allot of random bullcrap like people who didn’t wanted to tell me or didn’t want to give me hint of where he could be. after many thrown outs and back into lucid I arrived at a part where someone came into a house and was chased by a mini eli with white robes and red convocation mask. I kneeled down and spread my arms to hug him. but it changed into a robin and flew away in fear.
I went after it, allot of searching but alas. another couple of times being thrown out of the dream and back in again. then I arrived at a part with 3 suns at the sky. I was flying with bird wings still searching for eli. its was very extreme bright light.
me: 3 suns? what does that mean? 1 of them is setting and 2 are rising. wait what is that! is that also a sun?
so it were probably 4 suns, where 1 was behind the clouds that was going down. (so 2 at dusk and 2 at dawn atleast that’s what I thought at first)
me: hmm maybe its just the light of the other one that is going down.
then I was thrown out again but this time fully and woke up. I turned around 2 times and fell asleep continuing the dream on the search for eli. searched allot in cities and places where there are allot of people. on the last part I spoke to someone who had seen elidibus. (I didn’t realized it was just him lol) he changed into the elidibus you see before he got locked up into the CT but with white mask.
then we were both flying in the air.
me: ugh nvm i will search for emet instead.
eli: well good luck on that, he can be everything.
we were flying in the sky and I looked upon a crowd, I was wearing my black robes and had the red mask with me. I noticed a man with clothing that looked a bit like that of emet’s as Solus but less fancy.
me: over there! that’s him!
eli: oh?
I flew toward the man and noticed he was pretty old (like 70 or something)
man: oh who are you?
me: oh sorry I thought you were emet.
he gave a big smirk on his face
man: is that so?
he putted his hand in front of his face (right before activating glyph)
(I shuddered, wouldn't it?)
and lowered his flat hand down and his glyph appeared.
me: oh it is you!.
I kissed him on his mouth. (even if he was in such an old body)
me: I missed you.
emet: I missed you too.
then I dreamed I was going to write this down. and called it. “don’t know who to love anymore.”
when I arrived at the met part I woke up.
but I didn’t feel confused about it. I still love eli no matter what.
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dec 7th
I arrived in a building together with my ex and our son. I firstly went inside a classroom and my ex and son stayed outside. there was a gathering of random people. I got bored and went out of the room. when I was outside I went towards my ex and son who were standing right at a corner. suddenly I had the urge to spy and eavesdropping them (the people in the classroom)
me: sssstttt. (I said to my son who was talking to loud. ) you go in this room and wait.
son: but I will be quiet!
and so he did.
my ex and I tried to spy between the curtains that were covering the windows of the classroom. to check who they really were. me ex wanted to spy at the spot of the curtain where you actually open them.
me: no don’t they will see that.
and I went spying from the end of the curtain. I noticed black cloaks.
me: they are ascians. I said softly
son: oehhhhhh (very enthousiastic)
I went inside, said nothing and took a over serious look on my face. throwed with sass the piece of rolled up cloth that was upon my head on the ground and took a seat in the back where I was sitting earlier
me: is this the club to register as an ascian?
the group leaders/lesser ascians: yes!
me: yeah fine go ahead. (the actual sentence in dutch is better, its like saying with outmost sass “yeah thats fine I will join”)
they beckoned me and they gave me a ascian cloak (of faux leather xD). while I was handed part by part to put it on. there were 3 others who also joined. when I wore the first part (that was pulled over my head) I noticed all the armor was missing. and wonder why it wasn’t upon it. but I didn’t asked. I saw someone getting dressed as well on the hood part there was armor as a piece of fabric. and I wondered if I made my cosplay correctly ( xD what?) then I received the outer robes and my ex helped me to put it on because the clothing was heavier than it looked. when fully dressed the dream ended.
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dec 8th
the night before patch day 5.4
the first dream was about Lahabrea in the pokemon world that I was watching on the TV. he looked different of what we know of him he had shoulder length black hair with a white streak on the left side. very broad chin and black robes but without details (so no armor). I was recording it and later on I wanted it to post on FB but that didn’t work. then I wanted to search for the ascian outside. but spontaneously I was naked and went toward the basement to put on some underwear (XD). I woke up.
in the second dream that followed. I was in that world were laha was or in between? Idk. there were no pokemon only people where I asked where I could find the ascians. somehow they were called “Ascn” in that world.
then someone said: If you are searching for the ascian where would you look in the first place?
me: I would look in an old dilapidated house in the middle of nowhere.
the person showed me a picture of such a house and after I said that I was directly at that house. upon it actually I landed on an extension at the side. the house was closed and densely overgrown with plants and moss. I went to look for a possible entry point. when I landed on the ground I saw an entrance consisting of a rock formation that leads under the house. I went through it crawling, but somehow that was skipped because I was spontaneously inside. I grabbed some gabage along the way while crawling that was in my hands. I saw elf/fairy/pixie like creatures inside. quick;y I notice a trash bin to throw the garbage away. 1 of those pixies was looking at me confused. ( “ like wtf who are you what are you doing here” kind of face).
me: do you know where I can find the ascians?
1 pixie nodded towards another one and went towards a shiny curtain and opened it. there I needed to go through it. when I got through it I entered directly in a big classroom. I noticed lahabrea (he looked the same as in the previous dream) and allot of students. I walked further in and tried out my powers at the same time I was walking towards lahabrea.
me: woah man I can actually see my powers here.
random boy: wow!
and I threw some purple energy orbs
I kept standing on a distance between me and lahabrea. he was sitting at an old fashioned teacher desk.
me: do you know where elidibus is, he is my brother?
laha: noo I am sorry, he is somewhere else if he is still alive.
me: but! ugh
I went towards the Entrance where I came in and fell against the wall of grief. I was about to cry out load in tears until 2 girl walked upon me.
G1: come on no time for tears.
G2: we will help you.
they helped me getting up on my feet. and lead me towards the door the lead outside. while walking we talked.
G1: he must still be alive
G2: yeah, your father probably knows where he is.
me: wait you 2 know me?
G1: (affirming humming)
( I was in that dream the same age as them like 15/16 or something)
I thought: my father? so our father.
and then I woke up slowly.
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December 16th
short random dream about elidibus as amaurotine. we were siblings in this dream and I was taller them him, well about 20cm, so a head taller. something was going on whereby I picked him up and held him firmly on my lap. sitting on the ground. that I can remember.
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December 23rd
very long dream originally but I can only remember the end of it.
I was somewhere in a building I believe and was reading a typed and printed out note that elidibus left for me. what he said on that note came to this: that he would come to me In an glorious vessel to be with me forever of her life And forever more. or something like that. the “glorious vessel to be with me was absolutely in it. the rest I don’t know exactly anymore only the overall meaning that I got through.
I was thinking: omg, he grabs a hunk of a man and will come to me?
I cried, then I woke up.
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December 28th
it was dream about that I would go to the Source because there was some evil to fight off. but landed on a different planet called B3. and was more or less future planet earth. the dream was very long but contains no further ascian content sadly, only trying to figure out how to get back to the source.
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well that was the December issue. please look forward for the January one where he actually proposed me in a dream!!