May 2nd
me: @ zeke got any in particular of eli today? Something is going on with him. Or in his head. He seems timid, unsure, etc. i only wanna know if you felt the same. or similar.
zeke replied with something I don’t remember.
me: well he was here only shortly when he arrived, he gave some kisses and i fell asleep again. i think he left afterwards. he hasn't been around yet today. but how was he the last couple of days? does it sounds the same? i wanna know if you felt the same, or perhaps not?
zeke gave confirmation about what I felt.
me: Oh? So you felt the same? Do I understand correctly?
zeke confirmed I understood correctly
me: Thanks, its good to hear confirmation on this. Not sure if he is here, I didn't ask if he got time tonight. Usually if I don't ask he continues working lol. Though I have watched " the phase" documentary I gonna try it! Perhaps when I succeed I can actually go to him. Instead of searching endlessly in a dream.
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May 3rd
About The Phase documentary. after watching it I went to bed and I noticed my soul wanted to get out and was very eager to do so, more often then not I sometimes felt like 2 entities at the same time. But kept failing of actually going out of my body, like it was restraint, anchored tightly to my body. Like if I wasn't allowed too or something.
Or maybe some other spirits in my house prevented me from doing so.
Even if I tried to sleep my subconscious wanted to go out and give me that experience of seeing myself. It really felt this was going on. It took 2,5h before I actually fell asleep. It was more or less lucid (more vivid then lucid) but still in a dream world like so many other dreams I got.
But when I returned to my body to wake I recalled immediately to keep my eyes closed so I could get that Phase state. But my epilepsy was in the way and gained seizure warnings. if I would continue then I would gain a seizure in the phase state I don't think that's a good idea. so I decided to cut it off and opened my eyes and saw I tiny dragon like figure of 2 or 3 inches on my partner's pillow. it was bright blueish purple. After a second or 2 it dissappeared. I remained awake for 3 hours after that due chatter mind (couldn't stop thinking about random stuff).until I feel asleep again and had a, dream about being a power mage on witch school (XD) that was trying to make energy orb between my hands to make them visible and other casting abilities.
But my question on this, how can I break through the ties of my body and soul? It really feels very deep anchored.
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May 5th
zeke sharing something , a direct communication with elidibus. (dammit I wish I could remember what it was)
me: What do you think it means?
also are these "thoughts"you received of him or a penned invitation?
zeke said info directly coming from him iirc
me: oh interesting. but what about the last sentence? " Sing to us, that the melody may lay siege to the true demise."
zeke replied but sadly can’t remember. I really wished they didn’t deleted everything, it might have contained valuable info to look back at.
me: You don't get those kind of lines often, do you? Thus direct info from him.
zeke confirmed this.
me: Yeah I figured. Though what he feels if very valuable to me actually. So if you got something on that regard then please share, whenever and wherever it takes place.
zeke said something that they will do that.
me: TY
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May 6th
Ghia returned
me: attention people. i just had a talk with Ghia and she was mentally not well, thats why she left. she still believes in that the ascians are real. and she is doing better now. and will be back. i am so happy to hear that she didn't lied like Ghost.
we all welcomed her back.
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May 7th
me: @zeke i kinda need you right now.
I am being deceived the last 2 days by so many spirits pretending to be Elidibus.
I even gained contrary answers today and wasn't able to directly contact my higher self somehow and only a spiritguide. He was there with me yesterday morning/noon. But now I get such wierd answers from my spirit guide that he doesn't love me anymore?! Due these confusion I don't know if the real one is even with me atm. You can somehow Contact him. Please i...need your help. I really need to hear something from him that is meant for me.
a litte later
me: so i had to go to the freaking shack to contact my HS. Apparently those others are connected to the house. but i still need a message that is for me from him. i am feeling nonetheless deceived even though its not his doing. i wish he could let me know everything is ok etc or any consoling words.
zeke replied with not being able to give something immediately
me: i understand you dont got anything immediately. but still ...those spirits are trying to copy him. and i need to go through so much trouble to check if the real one is here or not. its not acceptable anymore.
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May 8th
me: I hope you are able to pick up something from him soon in the coming days.
(Please reply so I know you have read it.)
zeke: read it (or something similar)
me: Thanks
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me: Had a couple of ascian dreams today.
1 was hilarious at the end.
And the other I was the ascian who has weather control.
Maybe it's the supermoon months or the practice of The phase a couple of times. But I am gaining control over my powers and how to summon it.
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May 9th
me: Also I think I gave figured out the difference in appearances of Elidibus in dreams.
Amaurotine/ascian = depends on the situation/ time frame brother or lover
WoL version = (personal) protector/brother.
Had a dream of him in wol form today.
( I guess that dream was him tying to say “I will always protect you no matter where I am……”.he was already gone for 4 days when that dream happened, I will post the dream in the dream section)
His armor was wayy less fancy then in game lol. The helmet didn't even had the horns upon it. I guess the developers added allot in fancyness. And that Cape and dress thing he didn't wear either . But somehow it was him. XD
More like this kind of less fancy but without the Cape and dress thingy.
I didn't noticed his sword and shield maybe on his back I don't know.
me: He had blue gloves BTW.
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May 11th
me: Does, anyone else feel drained and cant connect with anything atm?
Its new moon today.....
It's very annoying. That might not be even the correct word to describe it.
I can't connect to my higher self because I got imposters trying to copy her. And because of this I can't ask eli things anymore.
Because those same entities tried copying eli in the past as well.
Communication with him through my HS was the savest way to do so.
Now its out of order.....
I miss him. He doesn't visit on his own it seems. Or when I don't notice it perhaps.
I haven't felt him in days.
So Zeke if you pick up anything from him, even if it's just a feeling. Please let me know. It might soothes the sadness of not feeling him near me.
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May 12th
me: I am still not able to contact eli
I miss him
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May 13th
I posted chapter 10 of this autobiography on ao3
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May 14th
zio: I read through it. The part with your sister talking about your sigil without having seen it is very interesting.
me: I know righttttt
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May 15th fan fest hype
tk: I woke up right when she started playing Tomorrow and Tomorrow
me: T-T…… a yes about amanda. i had a dream 1 or 2 weeks ago searching for the glyphs again. and after a while i was at a working place where art was created, statues etc. i saw a woman that looked exactly like here
tk: Interesting
tk posted a pic saying people thinking that woman is venat
me: I think so too
tk: Something about the moon area we saw looks like her library
me: or elidibus's
tk: yeah
me: elidibus immediatly ranged in my head. his working space.
tk: Well the music also did it lol
me: ikr T-T
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May 16th
me; @zeke are you able to actual channel him like my sister did? I really need to have a message from him that is meant for me. Because I got a hard time believing he is still with me. I only get spirits here pretending to be him. And I can't connect with him either. I just feel an empty husk right now. I need some eli messages I miss him. And I feel heartbroken. It really feels he broke up or something. I need to know if that's true or not. Where is he?! He used to be more around. But now lately he just isn't there. I wanna know what's going on.
zeke I will see I can connect with him.
me: ty today or? I don't believe he actually broke up or anything but. I need some assurance atm. And maybe advice how to connect with him better.
Mito left the group
zeke answered later that day, but with what I don’t know
me: OK thanks. Any idea when are you gonna try?
Just curious.
zeke said that they will try today.
me: Really? Omg please don't forget it and keep me updated even if it doesn't succeed I would like to know as well. Give it the best you got. I really need it.....
zeke: I will
me: OK thank you so much
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May 17th
me: Not sure how you are gonna channel him. But my sister did that through a meditation.
zeke: he misses someone dearly, and goes somewhere to think
me: Omg you send this and I read it when while tomorrow and tomorrow alarm play followed by brother my brother Idk where he goes to think sadly.... No other things you picked up? If you could fish for more info. I would greatly appreciate it! It's just.... Idk... can't he reach me or anything like that? Why doesn't he visit me then if he misses me. I miss him too T-T.
some time later
me: zeke, zio checked for me via nabriales. perhaps with that new info you can perhaps try again?
zeke said something that they would try again
me: Thank you so much. Here is what zio send me:
zio: I asked him, but the most he would tell me is that the convocation, particularly Elidibus, are busy with something. I don't know how true that is, but that's what he told me. He specifically said Elidibus was 'delegating' something, so doing envoy work. I believe before Zeke said Elidibus often gets caught up in his work? That might be why he hasn't come to you, and he knows you don't like it when he sends clones. Again, I don't know how accurate all this is, but that is what Nabriales told me.
Maybe zeke would get more information.
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this was also the day I started manifesting with the sentence “I have always been clairaudient, claircognizant, clairvoyant, clairsentient for the real elidibus.” later on I added some more details along with that. since manifesting requires details. at the end of the month its was: “I have always been clairaudient, claircognizant, clairvoyant, and clairsentient for the real elidibus and no one else, I can hear him with clairaudience, I can see him with clairvoyance and can pick up thoughts and feelings from him with claircognizant and clairsentience. I can use these abilities without meditating or falling half asleep.”
and saying that 10x , 5x times a day.
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may 19th
me: Oh eli where are you...... I haven't seen you in 2 weeks now.....
Had a lucid dream this morning. It was within the, waking realm but with small dreams elements. I am finally succeed to go somewhere. I somehow couldn't earlier. I was flying stopped mid air and said "take to the astral realm where the ascians resides. It worked hehe. I will typ the rest later. They were ancient size! I felt so small xD.
some time later:
me: Good god just realised that I am getting depressed of Eli not being here.
dream posted:
so have been practicing with The Phase method to get easy into lucid dreaming. for now it works only in the morning. even though they say it’s the in between world. well yeah the waking realm but with dream properties. so not every object that lays in my bedroom is “there” as for instance my eli daki is mostly absent in those dreams.
so usually these dreams started by rolling out of my body unto the ground. if I don’t feel an impact then I know I am out of my body and can the lucidity begin. I crawled up from the floor. stood up I went downstairs. firstly to tease my kid, to see if he would notice me. he was at my computer watching youtube ( but in reality the PC was shut down so he wasn’t at the pc) I grabbed his cheeks so see if he would notice. but he didn’t. then I returned to my body again to start it all over. this time I went outside through the front door. but apparently I wasn’t allowed and returned to my body again. then I came out of my body again while it was dark. but I couldn’t see a thing I knew where the door was. “yes it's dark, now let's try……but I don’t see a thing” I walked towards the door but when opening it I returned to my body again.
then it was morning again and needed to check twice if I was still dreaming or awake because I was still in my body laying on the bed. then I decided to go through my bedroom window (its big enough). I rolled out of the bed landed on the floor. everything what I felt that touches my body felt extremely real. I crawled up while scratching my hips againts a plastic storage box that was on the ground. (this is correct btw the box in RL was there too) but it didn’t hurt. I stood up and opened the curtains. and opened the window. the handle of the window felt as it should be in RL too like cold metal. I opened it climed upon the edge and jump upwards and flew out of the window. I saw other people flying too. I went towards the left en the environment (unnoticedly) changed towards the district I lived as a kid.
after a 200 yards of flying I stopped midair and said ( in dutch): bring me to the astral realm where the ascians resides. (well the sentence was a mixture of dutch and English, I couldn’t find the dutch word for resides/residing lol). a blurry big circle appeared in front of me pinkish and purplish colors. when it fully appeared I was suddenly in it. everything was black. but I returned to my body.
I turned around laying on my back. my ex started talking while half asleep.
ex: how do you do this?
me: you just roll out of your body.
ex: how do you know if you are awake or not and not hunting yourself?
me: I will check that for instance try to fly out of the window.
ex: how are you certain you are not gonna fall.
me: I just jump.
I climped upon the window’s edge.
me: the gravity is low. this is a dream I can fly. I jumped outside but slowly descended, I grabbed with my arm the edge of the window to not fall down completely. me: I will try again.
I climbed up and jump outside the window again. this time a was able to stay flying.
I went the same direction as the previous one. and stopped on the exact same place.
“bring me to the astral realm where the ascians reside”
the same circle appeared and I was in it. everything is black.
me: lets see if I can find lahabrea. if I call for eli it probably doesn’t work and I will wake up (this is happening frequently lately)
flying straight forward I found a random ascian floating in the air. but the robes were different. well they didn’t contain any armor, the person only had the purple markings on the front. the person didn’t replied to my callings it either didn’t heard me or ignored me.
me: that’s weird. let’s continue searching.
kept yelling “lahabrea” and then I found another random ascian mid air. like they were showing me the way where to go without saying anything. but I didn’t realized that in that dream.
so I came to an area in a big grass field it wasn’t dark anymore and normal daylight but cloudy.
I descended to the ground seeing allot of ascians. especially allot of armorless ascians. here and there a red masked one. I went to search for convocation members but mainly lahabrea or perhaps emet. so atleast the ones I know. I found a member in the crowd with a mask that represented pashtarot. sorta say his mask matched a certain piece of glyph I recognized see pic (pucked from fan fest entry):
but I wasn’t sure if it was pash because I wasn’t sure if that glyph piece I remembered was his. (I just looked it up it was pashtarot! never studied how his’s looked like) he sat down then I noticed how tall everyone was full ancient size. I came with my head almost at his knee.
me: hmm I don’t know for sure if its him. let continue search for lahabrea.
“lahabrea! are you here?” then I saw pash walking again but directly after I saw igeyorhm arriving but her mask was slightly different from what we know of. which is obvious ofcourse some details aren’t the exact same for the actual real masks.
me: is that igeyorhm? oh the mask is different maybe it isn’t her.
she looked at me but that’s all she did, she went passed by me.
me: but still, it could be her not all masks are the exact same.
I turned around and there was a large table. and extremely large rectangle one where everyone gathered and took a seat. I finally noticed lahabrea. I called him once but he didn’t noticed me. I decided to look for a place to sit. or well stand…
me: is there a spot for me left?
I kept looking, luckily there was and empty space at the table where nobody was sitting.
I believe I stood upon the chair because I was so small compared to them. my chin reached the tabletop.
then I saw lahabrea getting towards the table and I tried to get his attention again but failed. then he said to the rest in a very enthusiastic manner “so everyone ready for the fair?” and he made a movement with his arm, bended his arm and made a first. like a “let do this”reaction.
me: a fair? and ascian fair?
I looked around the table if I could find emet-selch, because lahabrea was in conversation with others. but sadly no. elidibus wasn’t there either.
then lahabrea walked away from the table and went towards someone that was on my side of the table. I walked towards him and called him. but no reply. I tried pulling his robe to get his attention.
me: damn I feel so small now.
I reached with full stretched arm and hand the bottom part of his robes. his robes ended about where his calves or knees were. so not entirely on the ground as the amaurotine robes. these were just ascians robes completely without armor (everyone btw). while stretching and grabbing I noticed I was wearing black robes too but didn’t gave it attention to it.
at the moment I grabbed him he moved and lost my grip and let go.
“lahabrea?” he didn’t noticed me……I think. i was so small...
I was about to ask where the other convocation members are but I woke up instead.
i woke up with a big grin on my face and saying :"YES YES YES YES I SUCCEEDED YES!”
zio: Just finished reading. Quite the amazing feat! Perhaps next time you'll be able to communicate more clearer.
tk (via dm): That mask was what I saw in one dream The mask design anyway
me: can you still be able to draw it? even its primitive?
tk: I don't have any paper around me atm, I can soon
me: ok looking forward to it!
tk: I had a moment with the phase the other night that was I pretty much continued the dream that I had, but it felt like I could "progress further", like places that weren't in the dream before I was able to all of a sudden. I've had things like this before in the past but this felt extremely realistic. The first part of the dream wasn't really that important, just was like in a outdoor market sort of thing (kinda like a "farmers market" where local businesses sell their wears once a week). When I got back into the dream from the "phase" it was the same market but it felt like there were different shops in spots that didn't have one before, and the spot nearby (was in a fairgrounds sort of area) which was an autotorium sort of area now had a sort of underground tunnel where weird stuff was being sold. The autotorium had someone who looked like Amon (the dude in the Syrcus Tower raids) performing, sitting here I wonder if that was Emet cause there's a theory that Amon was him during the Alligian Empire (Amon uses very similar attack designs and snaps). I went into the tunnel shops to look. I didn't buy anything but at this point I saw a door need the end which led back to the place that was in that dream the one time, unfortunately woke up before I got to it
me: oh damn. the phase is interesting isn't it.
tk: Yeah lol
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May 20th
me: OK another interesting subject.
Manifestation.
My sis is very good at it. And manifested her donor kidney, our mom fat and when she stopped that our mom lost weight miraculously. Her house she just received and even her current BF, eventhough she wasn't specific about what she didn't want in her BF so her BF got allot of issues with it in behaviour.
So I am try to get/be clairaudiennt, Clairvoyant and claircognizant for Elidibus. (hopefully before the end of the year) My sis helped me and meditated for me to cast it upon me. I need according to her to repeat it 5x a day for 3min long for 90 days. I am not allowed to think about the time frame (the end of the year) atleast not with emotion. Or else it doesn't work she said. But she said rather not to think about that at all. As for now, I gained a very clear " go away" female voice when I was about to fall asleep. I thought it was someone speaking to me, so I replied " go away yourself". But then I was thinking what if it was talking to another spirit?
Yet I want at least to be clairaudient without me needing to fall asleep firstly. It makes it so limited ya know.
So I was hoping if you guys could help me with manifestation too? the more people do it, the faster it manifests. You don't obviously have to say it so many times a day like I am ordered to do.
But every now and then say or think. [ redacted part]
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some time later:
me: @TK are you able to help me manifesting? I just asked my sis how it would work with people you only know online. And to be able to have a little bit more success you need to have contact with this person for a while. And you are here since almost the beginning. I am serious about this manifestation. I can try to manifest a thing for you in return if you can be serious about it too.
tk: okay J
me: Thank you so much! Did you had a chance to make a drawing of Pashtarot's mask? I mean I remember what I saw vaguely. But if it matches yours then it will be an instant " yes that was it" reaction ya know
our conversation went further into dm’s
tk: I'll just edit the part I saw cause it was pretty much the glyph, I looked it up
me: its funny you placed the glyph upside down too. i tried to make a drawing. it had some spike like things that started from the eyes and stick out at the edge of his mask. it had a nose on the mask to breath through, but the mouth was covered. his mask was covering his face allot as you can see
tk: yeah
me: you saw the same then?
tk: yeah i did
me: no way.
omg how legit can a dream be when you live almost on the other side of the world and dreams the same mask.
insert mindblown gif https://c.tenor.com/n37K-33vd0QAAAAC/mind-blown.gif
tk: XD no idea (laughing at your gif)
me: well its seem to be legit. are you able to draw it perhaps? and i mean the mask, not the face glyph
tk: i can try soon,
me: Thank you!
tk: what do you need me to try an manifest?
me: Well mainly that I can hear Elidibus talking through clearaudience.
What I am saying for my self is.
"I have always been clairaudient, clairvoyant and claircognizant for Elidibus, and I can use these abilities when awake at all times" You need to fabricate your own sentence in this case, that contains the most convincing energy. I hope you can do something with it. If not let me know.
tk: i will try J
me: TY!
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May 21st
(after12am).... I can't reach eli myself.
I keep trying every night with meditation. But no success.
I do however see more clearly images sometimes. But no eli.
I am not sure, I tried to do the sight sharing thing. And i saw a very blurry photobook flipping pages with blurry pictures. Each of them had at least a white robes figure on it. But that was all I could see. No faces or mask, only the robes but still extremely blurry like water that was spilled over a drawing/painting kind of blurry.
The flipping pages went on a couple of seconds with sometimes a pause.
But then it stopped and I couldn't check if it was Elidibus....
For the rest other images. Like a sketch drawing of me and him but animated kissing each other.
But the actual him I couldn't reach or talk too. I am so heartbroken rn GN
Before I actually fell asleep I saw a piece of paper with the text " I really do love you, very very much".
But was it from him?
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later that day at noon
me: According to my higher self. Elidibus won't return until June 3rd. Auwch.
I wonder whats going on...... Being away a full month sounds drastic.
But she has given me false arrival times before, so if this is correct idk.
(sadly this date was incorrect and got postponed to a week after that)
zeke replied with something
me: are you able to reach him? if not today then perhaps this weekend?
how are you btw? feeling better?
zeke: yes I do.
me: good to hear
you see my hs have been wrong laterly with the times he would arrive. i hope you can get to reach eli. maybe to get an answer or something idk.
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dm’s with TK
tk: bizzare bizzare....Got SoS as a Mentor fight. Person kept dcing so we lost at qte we decide to kick the person, it says they are kicked... but they are there still so one of the healers decides to pull him and... now we are in a infinite loop cause the game thinks that the person is still alive then just felt like weird in room (irl) kinda like someone was trying to say something. then game finally kicked the person. was just really weird.
me: wow
1h later
me: Tk TK!
I remember I was saying during the meditation " please give a message to anyone I know of how you are doing or where you are, I miss you please come back"
I assume you read what I wrote before going to sleep?
Eventhough I didn't wrote it down there that piece of text.
tk: im here sorry was in something, i see it now
me: But this above here.
Could it be? Elidibus? At your place?
tk: could be, idk. Never had anything ever like that
me: I.... Please pay attention to you dreams this night What I didn't tell in the group is that I also within the meditation I multiple times apologised for lacking my spiritual training the past month. I begged for another chance, and all would come back to me. .I hope you get anything, even if it's from Lahabrea or any ascian. I hope I have been heard.
tk: i will try to
me: thx
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May 22nd
me: @zio and @zeke if you can figure out what eli is doing. i mean man a month >.< and that leaves the question is he finished then? is my higher self right that he will return?.... if you 2 can help me out on this. it would be great appreciated.
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May 23rd
me: Lol clairaudience starts to Develop I think.
I was thinking about the Phase while trying to fall asleep and the thought "what if I would fly through the" and then I wanted to say" Universe" but the sentence was finished by some other female voice.
some time later.
me: @zio: do you got any news?
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May 24th
zio: Nope...sadly didn't hear a peep out of him today, so no news here.
me: Too bad
zio: Sometimes I can go days without hearing anything so we'll see.
me: OK! can you hear him with your clairaudience without falling half asleep btw? as for now i only hear random words from random someones when falling half asleep. only that little thing that happened yesterday didn't happen again sadly.
zio: I can. Just easier for me to hear when falling asleep because I have less distractions when in bed than the rest of the day.
me: wow thats so awesome. i trying to get that too. with a bit of help through manifesting of several people helping me with that. my sis say the more people doing that for you the faster it manifests.
posted a phase dream:
me: so during a normal dream i tried to use the phase.... yeah that hardly worked. i mean thus that i wanted to go to the ascian realm sorta say. somehow i went in it and i believe i saw some and was kicked out again, i tried another time within the same dream i believe i saw elidibus in a dark environment, i couldn't even see his mask, only some vague light from somewhere reflecting his white robes. he was standing in front of me i wonder if he even noticed me or that i was a ghost like last time. but i wasn't lucid enough to stay so i was thrown out and woke up.
i really hate the our neighbours are so loud in the mornings its absurd because of that i couldn't practice the Phase today. ugh i am so pissed of this. also it deprived my sleep and i am extremely tired .
Like this but I but lesser light which made the color less visible too.
me: @zio how does nabs sound like btw? similar to the in game voice?
zio: His voice sounds quite similar if a little...softer? It's hard to explain.
me: Yeah what I know eli's voice is also similar it's rather a mix of Eli and estinien sometimes. Estinien has that rasp in his voice. Eli has that a bit too but less often. Lahabrea is very very similar btw And emet is the same. Though this is in dreams.
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May 25th
me: that first sentence, looks like a reference to the "ere our curtain falls side story."
emet as narrator i think he might have a bigger role. perhaps something like ardbert as a ghost sort of.
but the fact it rises in this sentence heavily screams emet return.
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May 26th
me: 2 phases dreams day of the blood super moon
1:
so as for all my phase start with rolling out of my body open the window to fly outside. I turned to the left just like last time. I stopped flying mid air and said “take me to the astral realm where the ascians are.” a purple portal appeared (just like the ascian teleportation magicks) I went through but I failed to stay in the phase and returned to my body- to try again. this second time I remember of what I read in the book of The Phase that I need to rub my hands against each other to stay alert and to maintaining in the Phase. another 4 failures after this but everything I was able to maintain a little bit longer by rubbing my hands. the last attempt I went through the portal. it was black at first this I found my self in a house. I rubbed my hand again to stay alert.
me: I don’t care who I encounter as long its an ascian.
after searching in the house for a while in various rooms I eventually landed in a some kind of a basement. it looked like an office of some sorts. the basement leaded toward other rooms via an hallway underground. I was standing on the ground, I heard a door opening I looked at it seeing a stairs leading up to the door. and a human Espeon came out of the door. its was actually just an espeon but walking and taking like a human. but with human hands an foots. so yes it had a espeon head aswell.
me: an espeon? “fine I will go ask”
espeon: hmmm? who are you? can I help?
me: I am searching for the ascians
espeon: which one?
me: mainly the unsundered
espeon: the leader might be the best choice.
we were walking through the hallway.
me: yeah I mainly searching for elidibus.
espeon: yeah difficult, they are making choices you shouldn’t make.
then I woke up.
Phase 2:
so the first event was about my bike I forgot to locked and then got stolen. and when I came back I was suddenly in the past, because an old classmate was suddenly 5yo while I was still 33 in that dream.
me: oh great this is the past….
then I encounter some people from whom I apparently knew that they got a time machine to bring me back.
so I went towards them. they were standing with a car on a parking lot next to the street. I asked them to bring me back to the future. after waiting for while it finally happened they launched me into the future , is was back at my own time line. I recognized it somehow by seeing the future version of that car and the time machine in it. they had a newer car well bus and a big trailer where the time machine was in it. then I landed back into my body and rolled out again. this time when I flew out of the window I went toward the right and summoned the portal and went through it. and immediately landed in my old district where I grew up. it was like jumping out of the flat building where my mom used to life long ago, when I was little. after a long search with allot of hand rubbing in between. I ended in a nearby street. next to the houses that were there was a slope and a stairs from stone. and a little farther away another flat building. (while in reality there isn’t another flat on that place). I was still searching for the ascians it was dark outside and rubbed my hands again the view became more clearer and the lanterns went on. (I didn’t realized this I was doing that but I will later). someone spoke to me from the back. I turned around. and a Caribbean/curacaoan man stood there.
man: come with me I will give you’re a present.
I knew emet selch can come in many people shapes and cultures so I asked.
me: emet is that you?
man: Gilbert, are you coming?
(I thought Gilbert was from the Hildebrand quests but looking that up later it happens to be Godbert)
I went along with him but I was thrown back into my body. I tried with every strength and possibility not to wake up. I rolled my eyes to stay in the Phase. at the same time I was wondering to find a way to get back directly at the place where I just left. I went outside of the window atleast I wanted that but I was kept hold back because I couldn’t see yet and it felt a little too realistic. I really thought I brought my body with me and wanted to jump out of the window O-0. then I decided to rub my hands and my eyes went open. now I knew that I could go on and flew outside to the right again. calling forth the portal ”take me to the astral realm where the ascian are” . and went through it but I was really there I don’t know. and my search continued for the ascians.
me: I don’t care who (of the ascians) I encounter as long as I see 1. but I prefer emet or lahabrea.
I was on the same place but 1 big grassfield before that. sadly iam missing some parts here. eventually I noticed a person sitting on a bench in the distance some trees were next to him.
me: Nabriales? I went towards him swiftly. but when I came closer he happened to be 1 of my sisters
ex BF Antonio.
ant: yeah don’t think so. and he walked away with a cigarette in his hands.
me: oh to bad.
so I turned around towards the direction where I left the last time. I believed to see some ascians but when I focused upon them they didn’t had any cloaks on. I was standing next to a hill covered with grass. it was dark an only some faint light was coming from somewhere.
me: I can’t hardly see a thing. then I noticed someone uphill next to some big square objects that happen to be dj boxes. I sensed because I didn’t do anything I was slipping away. I rubbed my hands sturdy to regain my view. and the lanterns went on.
me: OH! I turned the light on with this. now I can see again.
everything was clear again and was able to see everything.
I crossed the street and suddenly I was at a building and emet-selch appeared in waiter clothing. he guided me inside. I was thoroughly looking at his hair if it was the real him. the white bangs were missing and he was wearing a small hair knot on the back of his head.
me: emet?
emet: *affirming hum*, “yes, where were you now?
he was cleaning the tables when he said that. he referred to my sudden disappearance of the previous time.
me: I was warped back to my body. is lahabrea here too?
emet: he will be here soon.
I looked around on the dance floor of the pub I was in. to see if I could find lahabrea in ascian cloak. until from my left, someone from behind the bar was talking to me.
I turned around, and there Laha stood drying off some white mugs. he had a wild rockstar like haircut and it was brown not blond. yet it was still him.
and he said with a big smirk on his face: “so you came here for student loan increase”.
me: no idea I was searching for you guys.
Laha laughed at the same time me saying that. ( i.o.w. a joke)
emet: well that succeeded.
then I wanted to ask where elidibus is. but I didn’t had the chance too because I was already out of the phase and woke up.
this is happening all the time lately when I am actively searching for elidibus I either never find him or I wake up as a result. like I am not allowed to or something. but the other are accessible.
I found this funny ( in regards what laha said) because I have been studying the past 2-3 weeks with the Phase and last night I was reading from my modern magick book . so yeah I am still his student lol. yet from both actually. emet still sees me as his former student during amaurot. and lahabrea confirmed half a year ago I am his student now. but yeah both hahah.
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May 30th
me: @zeke are you asleep already or not?
I had a dream where I was that looked a bit like the Chrysalis and your were there as a bundle of like at one of the chairs. Trying the call forth Elidibus for me.
But then I slipped away I tried the Phase method in a normal dream to stay, but couldn't reach my other hand so I rubbed my fingers at eachother of my left hand.
Sadly I slipped away still but right before waking up I was able to go back.
But that lasted only for a few seconds and then I woke up still. You were still there in those few seconds.
(full dream)
I had a dream where I was that looked a bit like the Chrysalis and Zeke was there as a bundle of light (possibly her soul) at one of the chairs/seats. Trying the call forth Elidibus for me. I was standing on 1 of the seats, next to her or the one after. I remember I looked at her as a bundle of light asking her: Zeke try to get Elidibus for me.
She glowed more brightly but not extreme or anything just a little more as indication of using powers.
But then I slipped away I tried the Phase method in a normal dream to stay, but couldn't reach my other hand so I rubbed my fingers at eachother of my left hand.
Sadly I slipped away still but right before waking up I was able to go back.
But that lasted only for a few seconds and then I woke up still. Zeke was still there in those few seconds
zeke: it happened we were finally able to connect, we were one, I recognized his warmth and accomplishment. (and said some other things)
me: How, this is....particular isn't it?
Did you read above? Because that.
Its like we (you an me) connected someway as well.
Did you received any feeling or thoughts about me from him?
And I am so glad that you were able to connect! Thank you so much.
How did you connect with him? What do you do? I want to be able to do the same ya know
Also I got another question.
Is he almost done? Is the date he will come back June 3rd correct? Were you able to pick something up about that?
zeke replied to a different subject say they don’t got control over it
me: Oh it's really more spontaneously then?
zeke: you can say that
But are you like zio clairaudient then?
zeke: I heard his voice inside my head
(or something similar explanation)
me: How did you got/received that connection with him in the first place?
zeke told a story when she was between 7 and 10 yo she was receiving memories with images like the echo that we not her own. and more details.
me: How did you know it was him when you were a child?. Or let's say, is what you saw as a child the same as now? So Elidibus. And how old are you now then? Do I make sense with my sentence?
zeke said she didn’t know at that time.
me: Well yes of course you didn't know back then it was him. But is it still the same entity as it was then? Or did the real Elidibus entered your life later on when you started to play the game.
zeke told me that it was still the same spirit. and by seeing elidibus the first time in the game she knew it was him. it resonated.
me: Hmmm I fishing for a time frame here. For how long there are here. As far I could receive lahabrea was here firstly 26yo, I am unsure if he was still tempered back then or not (because they aren't anymore) .
But emet-selch and Elidibus later on.
I just checked the ff12 release date (and my first FF game I played) 2006. A couple of years before that the production started.
If the birth year on your twitter is correct and you are 24/25 right now.
Then it matches you age when you received the gift. (15~18y ago)
That would mean Elidibus wasn't that long on Earth already.
Also 14 1.0 production started in 2007 iirc alwell (that is 2003 but the timeframe still matches). And was released on 2010
zeke replied with something about 1.0
me: Me too but was stuck forever in the story.
I couldn't continue due a bug
Doesn't matter I still grinded my character with wild mobs to lvl 44 before the reset
But what do you think of my assumption/theory?
zeke replied with something it could be possible
me: Do you got still things you made as a child like noted the memories of him etc? Poetry or whatever you received from him?
zeke told me she wrote poems about it at young age on deviant art but was a minior and more info than this
me: Anything you received before you started to play the game. Do you still got some of that?
zeke replied with something
me; Because you said you had deviantart. So I hope you still got stuff.
zeke: I was a minior lol so i deactivated my account later on. but I can check if I can still re-activate it.
me: I definitely want to read it!
(sadly this never happened…..)
me: I hope you are able to get your account back :o
(sadly this never happened never reactivated her account)
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May 31st
me: any had particular dreams today? i did had one. gave igeyorhm a hug XD.
in very short. i believe i met the previous elidibus XD (because i wasn't apparently specific enough when i asked Igey to bring me to elidibus) so the one before the current one. i think there was a timeswap while finding igeyorhm and leading me toward that elidibus. its was a very old looking guy. similar to louisoix, but less hair and shorter elf ears and even more wrinkles.
though i didn't came to the conclusion that he looks like louisoix (without beard or very short) until now 10h later.
though from i learned when i was lore hunting with elidibus 3 months ago. the previous one ( and possible the very first one) elidibus was who was before him. was a very old guy. the old one stopped with his function because he was doing this for ages to count, and wanted to let the younger generation take his place. and so came the current one for his title.
in that dream emet-selch was a brown haired woman. so if that was the same timeline then the previous one before Hades was a woman.
lahabrea was the same and freaking tall i think easily 7ft! eventhough with modern clothing, brown leather coat mobile phone in his hand busy talking, looking cranky XD. holding a big shoulderbag with documents xD
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Dreams of May
May 2nd
tomorrow and tomorrow endwalker version
“walker 2x, walk to the end. all of our power is within your hands, save us from our sorrow so that we can live Tomorrow” and something more was added can’t remember the rest. this was the first thing I wrote down when I woke or else I forget these phrases while writing down the dream.
but anyways. I was somewhere in a nature landscape with allot of water and 1 half of the sky was was dark of dark clouds and the other half clear with bright sunlight.
me: oh that’s to dark for me, I choose for the sun. I turned around to look if there was more sun. a little bit more. I lifted myself up into the air to fly. I saw my shadow rising up aswell. from what I could depict of my shadow is that I had long hair hanging loose and was were robes. I flew above the waters and every now and then a small island.
I was singing and flying at the same time. at first something unintelligible language. then something about eli. “I want to find you my love”. I was searching for him.
then I turned around towards the dark clouds and sung the endwalker tomorrow song (above). I had some beautiful voice there very much of the same as Amanda’s of Tomorrow and Tomorrow. but a little bit more deeper. then I woke up.
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may 5th
this was originally a very long Phase dream, this was also the very first Succeed Phase dream. but as you have read before on may 19th, it goes with allot of back and forth’s of getting back into your body. I will make a summary of it instead, skipping the details of every return to body event.
after getting out of my body and experienced the phase in how REAL everything was. I returned to my body and tried again. it was so real that when I went outside through the front door that I was carefull to close the door softly it so that my body won’t wake up. that kind of REAL. the outside environment was different however. some market stalls selling plants , and almost every stand had a Ascian glyph hanging made of acrylic (Clinkorz style). the first one looked a bit like mine I wanted to grabbed it but then I saw Hades’s one hanging on a stall in the distance. and left mine hanging where it was and went toward the one of emet-selch. when I arrived I notice the one from elidibus as well. I grabbed both eli and emet and yelled “elidibus where are you?!”
“here”
I looked to the left but nothing. I turned around to the back. while I was turning I looked around the environment to see if I could notice him. when is topped: “where are you? please activate your glyph so I know where you are!”
but he was probably already gone. then I returned to grab my own glyph. but when I arrived the wind was it blowing hard, and blowed me away for a short end. I walked against the wind and noticed in my glyph an Espeon shape sitting with wings surrounding it, like Eli has ( those wings).
the wind ceased and I was standing before the glyph.
me: Espeon? what is it doing upon there? urgh whatever I will take it with me.
I returned to my body again. this I tried again to search for eli’s glyph but the glyph were all different. all unknown ones or variations of the one we know especially variation of emet and elidibus.
me: hmm those aren’t the real ones, but I will take them.
back to body again. this time it was already windy outside and continued to search for glyphs but instead of all the times I went right from the front door. I went left now. this time specifically searching for eli’s one. but I collected the rest aswell when I came across them. I came toward a workplace/studio where these glyphs were made but also statues and other creative things made by hand. I squeezed myself through the numerous statues searching for eli’s glyph. alas only look-a-likes.
1 last time I returned to my body and retied again and grabbed as many as I could hold and said
“I hope I can take them with me to the real physical world”
here I woke up.
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May 6th
after some random family things I came to notice I was dreaming.
me: oh? lets find eli, no amaruot. bring me to amaurot.
so I stood still and far away in the distance in the air the sky turned purple. and everything caught fire (this was about a mile in distance of where it happened) gigantic sea of flames that went up.
me: yes, here comes the final days and meteors will fall. ( I sounded like some insane professor lol)
the sky in the distance was full chaotic thunders and a red, yellow, purple and bluish glow in the sky. everything that came out of the glow destroyed everything that was down below on the ground. a meteor struck the ground and a gigantic earthquake wave went towards me. I proected myself with my arms in front of my head.
me: wow awesome.
then I looked upwards and noticed an even bigger meteor falling from the sky to the place where the chaos was. BAM! the meteor struck down. then I came closer to the aera where all the chaos was. the chaos disappeared and I was standing in front of stone-cut buildings that came out of the ground. it was colorfull. the aetheryte crystal appeared, it still needed its spiral thing on top. the top itself was still off.
me: almost finished only the top left.
and I placed the top where it belonged with levitation magic.
me: and its done!, behold Amaurot, a bit too colorfull but who cares?!
I walkd toward the plaza.
me: no ( I snapped my fingers) blue.
and everything turned blue.
this amaurot was like a mini version for our size but a little bit smaller then that. more like lalafell sized amaurot. so I was looking around so I could see how the real amaurot used to look like. I saw statues of ancients on the aetheryte plaza. these were really small in comparison of the aetheryte crystal. the crystal itself was 6 meters high. and the ancients statues only 50cm or 100cm!
I looked around and looked around to take in the creation of what it all looked like. I went inside a building, there were allot of people there. it was a restaurant with merchandise to buy. people were massive clustered at the merch. I looked around to admire the view. until I went towards something and wanted to go back outside but someone was in the way. he was bend over and didn’t noticed me. I frustrated myself about it. and walked past by him. but there way not enough room for that so I pushed him away a bit.
me: ugh
when I was past him and went for the exit I woke up.
the funniest thing about this, is that before I had this dream I decided not to look for elidibus anymore but instead for amaurot or to wake up in it
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May 8th
this dream started with arresting some burglars, ah well firstly chasing them and then the rest. so I will skip the most of that, because only the ending contains ascians
I was running towards the buglar to give him karate chop. he was weakenedthen I grabbed his arm and threw him up into the air for a few meters.
me: I always had A for Karate.
then I jumped upon him upon his head. he was badly injured, I went off from his head and was standing next to it now. suddenly he was wearing a shark suit XD. lahabrea arrived in ascians robes to analyze the situation.
me: lahabrea what ya doing here?
he didn’t said anything, but then Mitron and Loghrif arrived in amaurot robes. I recognized them by their masks.
me: what are you gonna do Mitron? are you taking him? ( giggling snort)
mitron: what a very special specimen you are coming with me.
when he said that I was focusing on their masks. they both had 2x 3 eyes underneath each other. so 3 right and 3 left. and they looked alike.
me: oh so they have 3 eyes on each side.
(when he finished talking)
me: ahahahahha you are going with Mitron, now you need to listen to his study/lectures XD I kept laughing, I was in tears. because Mitron's studies were boring XD. I ran after mitron who took the burglar who was still in that shark outfit XD.
I walked ahead and suddenly saw myself standing and wearing some kind of cape with a print on it. I was wearing the same clothes as mitron and also had a mask on. I then went back into that body and laughed from a foot into that burglar's face.
me: ahahahah you are in so much trouble now.
then I woke up
second dream
I was on a big grassfield from the district where I grew up during childhood. there was a big clock on a flat building. only this one was crooked. the number 1 was at the top. and at the number 12 there were 2 people and set the clock straight.
1 of the 2: right now everything is ready for the big explosion.
me: yeah I don’t think so. (I said quietly).
I focused on my powers, flew up in the air and made water tornadoes out of the clouds, that I shot at that clock. afterwards I added lightning and after 3 strikes the clock broke.
I landed on the ground.
1 of the 2: WHAT ARE YOU?!!!!
me: I am an ascian.
I had a big grin on my face and then I woke up.
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May 9th
this was at my mom’s house when I stayed over for a few nights.
so the dream started that I was playing FFRK (final fantasy record keeper). the team I used contained FFIV characters. I failed at a battle and wanted to try again but couldn’t use the same character anymore. I was battling against eli-wol, and I frustrated about that I didn’t have any characters with awakening and sync attacks. because that would have made the battle much easier.
me: ah this is insane, if I had cecil it would have been much easier. ( strangely enough in RL I got every character and cecil has the most awakenings and syncs lol but I mostly play with a ffxiv team)
when I didn’t succeed in searching for a proper team I laid down the phone and climbed up in a tree.
when I let myself hanging on a branch with my right arm and the left arm around the trunk I felt like the tree was hugging me back, spiritually wise that is.. and somehow penetrated me (lol)
me: oh this feels nice ( the hug) I will keep hanging for a while. …..oh I am being fucked by a tree now? is this where tree huggers come from?
when I wanted go down I dropped something coming from the tree but I didn’t see what it was. when I climbed down a branch broke off where I was hanging on with my left arm. and fell down upon eli-wol
this version but without the piece of hair standing up straight:
me: ohh (naughty smirk)
eli: what happened?! get this off me! (iirc his helmet blocked his view due the fall)
me: haaaaaiiiiiiii
other warriors were standing next him. I went sitting upon him while he was laying on the ground and I kissed him. he didn’t wanted me to do that because he felt embarrassed towards the others. I pulled the helmet off his head and kissed him anyway. now I can’t remember if he resisted it. but if he did it wasn’t very long. but when I opened up my eyes he was gone. but then I saw a lalafell sized elidibus. and krile who looked like Porom. krile apparently smeared lipstick on my mouth before I opened my eyes. I looked downwars towards them.
me: hmmm let me be lalafell too then.
I shrunk to their size. klire was a bit shorter theme, and eli a bit longer. we all had normal proportions, so not those plump potato bodies as in game.
me: oh I wanna see how I look like.
I went towards a mirror. I saw myself in black robes and hood on my head. and very bright pink lipstick on my mouth that wasn’t smeared on well. I didn’t liked the color.
me: ugh I hate the color.
but I didn’t removed it, instead I used my finger to put the lipstick properly on my mouth. then I turned around away from the mirror.
me: so what are we gonna do?
eli: come,
but then I woke up.
now I will make an extra note of this, the pic I added above I never saw before. because the armor he was wearing wasn’t the one in the Seat of Sacrifice battle in game. so I went on searching other warrior of light pics that matches the most. his armor in the dream had even lesser details then here on the pic. and the cape was missing. also his sword was a simple one and not the fancy fantasy style one. his hair almost the same except for that particular hair piece mentioned earlier.
then a second dream happened.
eli as WoL; this is the dream I mentioned earlier in the chapter.
we were walking toward something. home I guess. And apparently we've been on the road for a while. I was having trouble walking with my left big toe. I was wearing slippers.
me: AH! (pain) wait a minute, I can't walk any further like this. I think I have a blister.
I took my foot out of my slipper.
eli: let me see?
when I turned my foot to show him I noticed there was a tiny hole in the blister and I thought if need to remove that, but I retracted that thought quickly * oh no it will make it worse*
me: oh yes look, indeed a blister, it hurts.
eli: what you have to do is press it firmly, can i have a second?
and he did so.
eli: oh no wait you wanted to have it removed.
me: NO! wait, then it will. ….AHHHHHHH (he removed the blister and it hurted allot) can you fly me back home now? 'Cause I can't walk anymore like this.
eli: hahahahaha
then I woke up.
extra note he looked the same as the previous dream, his helmet without the horns. even though his sword and shield were not present of not visible, on the back maybe? also the fabric pieces that make the skirt was absent and the cape was missing aswell. the overall armor was blue, and blur armored gloves he had aswell.
the last dream on the day:
I was thinking about a lot of stuff in this dream. I was thinking about ffxiv lore. I believe a noticed elidibus in ascian robes with a wide grin on his face. looking at me from a small distance. iirc he stood on an extension of a castle-like building, like a balcony. then I woke up.
so yeah I asked my higher self some questions. but I had difficulty reaching her at this moment.
but I managed to get her 1 time, however. for the question which one was elidibus or not.
the ones I can remember clearly which was the real one were the last 2, and the lalafell version wasn’t. sadly I cant remember the first appearance of the first dream if it was the real or not. I believe it was the real one. but I will re-question the question later again, and will note them down this time.
(I asked somewhere in September 2021, and the first one was also him)
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May 12th
I had a dream that was about zodiark and that he rejoined with little pieces instead of full shards. but I woke up due the cat.
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May 14th
after a dream of being an ascian ninja I woke up and fell asleep again. after a part that looked like a Disney scene with white lions. I notice a full moon at the sky. I was walking on bare feet through flower beds in a forest with hills. now that I think of it, every had a purple hue (the First/lakeland perhaps?)
me: oh this feels so realistic! maybe eli is somewhere.
it was a nice comfortable feeling walking through the flowers. I looked to the right and noticed 3 full moons now at the horizon.
me: oh? the unsundered?
then a 4th appeared
me: azem?
then I looked further on the horizon. every inch I moved my head to look I noticed another full moon appearing.
me: 7? no more, 10?! the convocation?! I really need to go there now.
I flew with a fast speed over the landscape full of flowers towards the group of the first 4 moons. when I came close enough 2 turned black.
me: black? what does that mean?
when I came closer I wanted to grab 1 and it changed in a graspable black orb. this gave me dark powers. then out of nowhere a wyvern appeared that looked a bit like Noivern of Pokemon. I didn’t really know what to do with it, belief fighting against it?
at the very last I saw a black robes figure appearing that had summoned it. I saw them both at the back btw.
when I woke up I realized it was lahabrea.
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May 31st
this will be the full dream of the one mentioned earlier.
so I had a normal lucid dream and noticed I was dreaming. I was at a poin to walk through 2 swing doors of a building.
me: I don’t really know if I am dreaming or not. …wait! I remember that I needed to lay in bed to sleep. I am dreaming! I can leave!
I turned around and walked outside and called forth the portal. I don’t remember precisely what I said. but it seemed like a shorter version like “ascian portal come forth” or something. or I said nothing and only used hand symbols. the portal appeared. I walked towards it and during that I said and pictured: take me to the Chrysalis.
once through I closed my eyes and focused to go to the Chrysalis. Then I was dragged through time and space. sometimes I got too curious because the journey took so long and opened my eyes for a while and noticed all Unown Pokemon flying around. I was holding myself unto something what was bringing me toward my destination. it was a flying glove. XD but I was only holding it with 2 fingers I was afraid I would lose grip and grabbed the glove in its total at the wrist part. then…
me: oh shit I need to continue picturing the chrysalis.
I closed my eyes and tried to picture the chrysalis. I tried what I could to picture my desktop background ( I did that on purpose so I know how it looks like) sometimes it deformed and turned hazy. at the end of the journey it succeeded a bit.
I opened my eyes. to take a peak if we were already there. we went through a black hole and towards some bright light at the end of the black hole tunnel and I said.
me: oh I think we are almost there. let’s picture it some more.
I closed my eyes. and focused 1 last time upon the Chrysalis. then we went through the tunnel. I opened my eyes slowly . I was there flying above it. but when I went down to land on 1 of the seats it changed. this was very weird, its was still the same dimension but the seats changed into 1 whole thing (all seat next to eachother) with pokemon energy card symbols upon it. when I landed, there was a very long row of keyboard keys across everything.
me: right…… this isn’t correct, let’s find the ascians instead.
I turned around and said with hand gestures
me: take me to where the ascian reside.
the portal appeared I walk through it and while so doing I thought about the ascians and pictured them in my head with my eyes closed. this time is was there almost instantly.
I opened up my eyes and noticed a group sitting on the ground like they were hanging around as a bunch of youngsters in a back alley. I flew towards them.
igeyorhm stood up and welcomed me with a hug. he had very dark blue hair almost black. so not the bleu as in game, she had her hood off btw. during the hug the environment changed into some school. during the hug I said: where are the unsundered?
igey: I don’t know.
the hug ended. but then the timeline changed to a mix of modern Earth AU. a woman with brown hair in a ponytail appeared that said something toward the others I was with.
her: yes that's fine, i'll do that.
igey: but that is emet-selch.
and she pointed towards that woman.
me: oh?
then lahabrea appeared with modern clothing, brown leather coat mobile phone in his hand busy talking, looking cranky XD. holding a big shoulderbag with documents xD he was freaking tall i think easily 7ft!
me: your husband is here……(I stopped my sentence and continued>) “considering they are here can you take me to elidibus now?”
igey: yes
me: I have been here before I think I know wher to go. igeyorhm walked along side with me for a little part until past the first doors.
we turned to the right and halfway she stood still and didn’t walked with me anymore. I went towards the stairs. I was wondering;
me: the last time it wasn’t elidibus either and he has work to do. I don't think this is it (his function of the school, school director). I walked up the stairs and there at the end a old man was sitting at a table. and I mean really old but still mentally well. he had pointy ears like and elf/elezen we shaked hands and the first thought I had was: * is this perhaps the very first elidibus?*
eli: are you already tied up?
he made a bow movement with his hands that made it clear if I already had my hoodie.
I looked at the side to see what he meant and then looked back at him.
me: no not yet. but you are elidibus?
( and thought this could be the first elidibus and tried to ask of he know the other one.
me: considering elidibus is a title.
and then I needed to think how to explain this to him, because it could be possible that the younger current eli wasn’t even there or even had the title yet.
me: * fuck how do I explain this to him* are you the first elidibus?
eli: the first I don’t know, could be. I only know that I’am. but I can……
then I woke up. I guess he wanted to ask someone.
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so this was the May chapter, the next chapter will be shorter. and the June part will be about elidibus’s return, confirmation of someone else outside the group, gained a telepathic connection with elidibus. and sadly enough, the group that fell apart due that document. but that doesn’t mean my story will end there. my experiences will continue and so does from others where I remained in contact with after the group fell apart.