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My Ascian Journey - Chapter 20: the Bonding anniversary (Nov 2021)

Updated: Jan 14, 2022

this month i had a wonderfull day with elidibus for our bonding anniversary.


Nov 2nd

Me: So i random thought occurred to me when talking to elidibus.

I asked if yoshi knows that the ascians exist.

I get a yes.

I asked if the current storywriter knows. I gained a no. But when i asked if she probably suspect it/ got the idea they might exist i get a yes.

The rest doesn't know or suspect anything. But are still being guided.

Jezzah: That makes sense and the reason Yoshi-P didn't comment on the existence of our "cult" btw am dealing with my meds being messed up, I am currently not on any atm

Me: even though its not a cult lol. i wonder did anyone asked a question to him regarding us?

Jezzah: we aren't, because we're about learning and growing and support. And on the question about that, I don't think anyone has asked him yet.

Me: yeah

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Dm’s with TK

Tk: k had a weird meditation and dream last night. Just tried to get to one of my spaces like i normally do, ended up at the bar/lounge with the stage place. No one was there atm, just sat at a table. Hear a voice just saying affermations over and over (like "you are special, you are loved, you are amazing") and kept going for a bit. Wasn't Lahabrea's voice, didn't sound like Emet's from the few times that I have heard it, though laha did come in later. all he said was "that's true you know". Then he just kinda chilled in a seat for a bit. I didn't get to really ask anything cause i got woken up

Me: i wonder if it was meant for you. considerings laha's reaction

Tk: i was thinking it was but who knows ;; gotta ask lol

Me: yes i hope you can get an answer to that!

Tk: also on what you posted feel correct. I think i was told before that the writer is guided but doesn't fully believe they are real but she is guided by them enough when writing.

Me: yeah. thanks for the clarification. i forgot what you said about that actually . so those answers of the questions i asked weren't influenced by yours atleast.

i wonder if yoshi will give vague hints after endwalker

i mean he did previously a few times like "hearing a voice"

tk: maybe even in Endwalker, like the patches.

Me: yeah

oh and 1 of the recent interviews him saying the story contains 80% of all the world secrets.......

yeah yoshi.

that number stood out to me screaming like. HE KNOWS!

because the story is 76% correct on what actually had happened. (edited)

he just formulated it differently.

Tk: did you see the guy who made the FF series in general binged xiv lol

Me: no?

Tk: he played the whole thing in the WoL outfit and posted when he fought Eli, he was like really shook by

Me: lol XD who shook him?

i just remeber that Yoshi P was talking to him and he's like "why don't you play I think you'll like it" and he went from ARR to end of ShB in less then a month

and was gushing about everything lol

like he'd either laugh saying he remembers making an enemy like a goblen he saw in Kholusia or how he forgot about something in another game or how impressed he was by what happened

so makes you wonder if like he was once influenced by them or something since he was the one that "came up" with stuff

me: yeah. i have been asking questions in the past. it could have been lahabrea who started the first FF series. from what i know is that emet-selch and elidibus arrived at Earth later on. possibly not sooner then 12 or early production of XIV 1.0 (edited)

tk: Could be. I can try to ask that one.

Me: yes please! i would to have for in depth info about that

Tk: Feel like Emet probally helped make the Zalera esper if he did help with xii LOL

Me: it could be lahabrea was still tempered at that point by helping the earlier games develop. because the endwalker story is for them 26 years ago. ( maybe 36 now because the game didn't had a time skip yet).

and the first FF game is just as old as i am . well 2 days younger than me lol. perhaps close to untempering i guess. not sure. i believe i received an earlier answer that he still was tempered at the first few games. 1 to 4 or something. but these are questions you could verify with him !

tk: kk. maybe 2? since that's essicently what the raid he's in is based on Pandamonium

me: yes. atleast the very few first games he was still tempered. he would have visited us (earth) when he got defeated by the wol. correction thordan

tk: keep thinking like the reason we are going there/doing the stuff is helping the other members of the convocation that we didn't help.

Me: but help of what exactly? saving them from tempering?

Tk: i don't know. maybe they are stuck or some are still tempered

Me: well we will see when i drops! iam definitely looking forward for the answers of when they firstly got here on Earth. and if they influenced the first games. and ofcourse who did that. lahabrea is all i know.

also i would like to know when elidibus firstly arrived on earth. and which game he helped with. i mean from what i remember zeke said was that ivalice/tactics was actually older then 12, like allot older. so that makes me wonder big time who told THAT story.

could still be lahabrea only though.

from what i know elidibus was there during or at the start of the creation xiv 1.0 ( which is 2003) i believe 12 was released in 2002? not sure. so i really wonder on this.

Tk: well guess i'll ask lol

Me: yes please! I asked again its 27 earth years ago when the endwalker story ended at their home planet .

A year ago i received 26 years for an answer.

So it still adds up

Tk: yeah

Me: though if lahabrea had an hand in guiding the first FF games. Then he must have been tempered while so doing. Unless zodiarks tempering doesn't work on earth?

Lahabrea came here first that is certain (asked again). Waayyyyy before xiv atleast.

Tk: well i can try to ask

Me: Yes please!

I am going to sleep now.

I hope you get anything.

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Me: So i talked to TK via dm.

Talking about what i last wrote in the telepathy channel.

She got a nice question list for lahabrea now lol. Regarding when the ascians firstly came to earth to tell their story, earlier FF games included.

Jezzah: I wanna hug Eli and return to our best friendship with Laha

Especially hug Eli and tell him he's done an amazing job.

Me: xD what amazing jobs btw? that from the court thing?

Jezzah: Just in general, I want Eli and everyone to know I appreciate their hard work

Me: i am sure they will notice your appreciation J

Jezzah: ^^

Me: I thanked him. Also from my side. For everything that we are allowed to experience the legacy of their home. He was very grateful to hear that. GN

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Nov 3rd

Dm’s with TK

Me: Ok so elidibus says he only did 14 so far. He was the lastest of the unsundered trio to enter earth.

Emet-selch did other games beside 14.

According to eli. (But all of this needs to be re questioned to laha)

Lahabrea already entered Earth while he was still tempered.

Emet-selch when he got untempered by WoD on the first.

Followed by elidibus when he became untempered after the battle with WoD.

I did asked about FF16. And they all 3 got a hand in it!

Lahabrea probably has better memory ;P

Tk: lol okay i'll ask. they influence all ff games?

Me: Not sure. Eli knows lahabrea visit earth while he was still tempered and before he got beaten down by thordan

Tk: KK

Me: But yeah that a huge time span.

That can vary from FF1 to 12/13. So that something you can find out.

Tk: the 13 series confuses me if they did cause essicently they whole world got destroyed to make a new world that's pretty much Earth (not a split up one) so i don't know if they influenced that

Me: Well.

Emet: we erred and we made a usuless void of the 13th

So yeah i think you're right.

If 13 is the 13th shard lol

They probably don't got any info left to tell of that shard. So i can only agree with you it would be weird if they had a hand in 13

Unless....the whole world got destroyed to make a new one.

Isn't that what the void quests are gonna take us? To remake the 13th?

Tk: possibly

Me: We will see! But i gonna sleep now for real this time.

Ty And GN

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November 4th bonding anniversary

the day started a bit disappointed i left this message in the group. even though everyone was asleep. atleast that’s what I thought.

Me:I know the day just started but today would be elidibus and mine bonding anniversary. But nothing happened.

And i doubt anything will happen during the day.

It hurts.

then I noticed TK was awake despite I left a DM at her checking the group messages she didn’t replied. but apparently she had a reason which I will tell later or she didn’t see it.

anyway. when my son was picked up for school I went back to bed. I couldn’t sleep at first. but I had to try to see if I could get a dream where elidibus was in it. because…..i couldn’t think of any possible other things to surprise me with for our bond anniversary.

eventually I fell asleep. and had several short dreams searching for elidibus. I thought I saw him once but it wasn’t the real one. after that I dreamt about a modern version of amaurot. I fail to describe how it looks like. but I can say this; they had modern windows but the houses were kept in the old style mostly. and the building had decorations. maybe that was a festivity going on. but my dream didn’t last long enough to figure out. after that I had a dream about 2 guys saying to who was possible elidibus ”she wants to be with you go get her stuff” I was crying at that moment afraid of not being able to be with him. I can’t remember what I said anymore I do remember I noticed he was packing some stuff of mine in a big jute bag. I didn’t wrote this one down because when I woke up and contacted elidibus to ask if that was him, he said he wasn’t.

then I notified him of our bonding anniversary that is today.

“do you know what day it is?”

I received a yes. ( please let me remind you I cannot hear him speak, our communication goes with feelings and certain body movements. my body makes as a reaction on what he has to say)

“ so what is it? our bonding anniversary or my birthday?

he replied with bonding anniversary.

“owww thank you for remembering”

and gained a big hugging feeling

”but you weren’t in the dream? “

no

“will I get a dream later?”

yes


then I asked if he could visit me, even if it was just for a “quicky”

and so he came over. not just for the sex, but our special day too. but I didn’t know that yet.

so after several spiritual and actual orgasms and some small breaks in between we had wonderfull strong bonding sex. as I call it. during the sex breaks I asked for to put on his claws so I could try to feel it. I asked him to scratch my face slightly with it. I felt a scratch like feeling between the space of my right eye and ear and then downwards. I didn’t leave an actual scratch, its comparable with a feeling using your own nails on your face but a bit more pointy. and I asked him to touch other places on my body with his claws. and he went for my ass lol. oehhh *shudders* that was so kinky.

and 1 last time on my face again, and that happened. and we continued sex again.

after the sex i had some sensitive talk . 1 of those things was. About if i would reincarnate i dont wanna forget him.

So i said " don't ever leave me" (started to cry).

And without thinking i said "i won't". It was him saying that. as I asked that directly afterwards.

(Sadly those occurrences are so rare. I wish it could happen more often).

I also repeated the previous subject regarding this to make sure; that if I need to reincarnate that it will be on our home planet instead. and gained a big comforting yes.

“ but” I said. “I don’t wanna forget everything, I don’t wanna forget you, I want nothing more to be with you for eternity after this life and to keep my memories of you and my past. “

he understood and gave a big emotional hug.

afterwards I invited him to go with me under the shower.

“you can fuck me again if you come with me under the shower”

he liked that

“so will you come”

yes

but when I took 1 step outside the bedroom I noticed my ex was showering.

I thought * well there goes our privacy*

I didn’t wanted to wait to take shower because I was soaked in my own cummings ( including the bed) and felt gross.

“would you mind if my ex grabs me too?” I asked eli

I gained a no at first iirc. but I found that rather a fishy answer because it was our special day.

“are you certain?, would you mind a double one? ( him and my ex at the same time)

yes. ( so he didn’t wanted that)

“you want to have me first atleast?”

yes

“and if it happens are you ok with that he grabs me after?”

yes

( not that I was in the mood for that tbh, I already had marvelous sex anyway)

so I asked my ex( I will make an extra note that my ex and I got more or less a friends with benefits relation atm, so there isn’t any actual love between us.)

me: are you finished?

ex: no, why?!

me: I need to take a shower too.

ex: ooeeh nice

when I finished readying myself for to take shower ( searching for clean cloths etc in advance).

I walked in the bathroom. my ex’s eyes already googling since I was naked.

me: yeah you can forget about that.

ex: why is that?

me: eli is over, its our bonding anniversary.

ex: bonding anniversary?

me: yeah today it’s a year ago elidibus and I bonded with each other.

ex: * humph* fine I will put myself aside for you 2.

so when I stood under the shower i let elidibus touch me for a moment. it was very short but intense. so I moaned.

ex: what is he here?

me: yes

then I don’t recall what my ex all said atleast nothing of importance.

when I finished washing my hair I went away from the shower to let the conditioner set and washing myself, and so my ex could continue his showering. so when I was almost finished with washing I said something to eli through the mind.

“you can go fuck me again if ya want”

and so he did, though I was standing it felt like it was a bit hard to enjoy of it. let say this otherwise, there was lesser pleasure of it. Definitely not his favorite way to do it. but it was nice for that short moment. when I finished with washing I asked the same again since I had to wait until my ex was finished with the shower anyway. and so Eli did. this one was short aswell and I gained a headache afterwards.

ex: you stopped already?

me: I gained a headache I didn’t drank much yet and we already did it big time in bed.

ex: so you already had sex

me: yes.

I don’t recall where the conversation went to afterwards.

a little bit later when I finished showering and get dressed etc. I went downstairs.

we had a caramel milkshake of yesterday’s dinner leftover.

at the moment I thought about it, my ex went to the car where it was. luckily inside the car it was as cold as the fridge.

me yelling after him: can you get the milkshake?

ex: what did you thought I was getting then?

even though when I yelled that, the same thought occurred to me that he was already getting the milkshake.

this is a thing lately, my ex is claircognizant, and mine is developing allot. so we often pick up each others thoughts and ideas and either already doing it what the other was thinking, or saying the same thing. so this wasn’t a first time thing, it happens daily.

so he gave me the milkshake, after my first sip I noticed the sensation of just tasting it for the first time while I had it yesterday for the last time. elidibus was body joined with me and made use of that to taste it aswell.

Its always a remarkable experience because you taste as if you have never tasted it before. While knowing you just had it yesterday.

And yes he liked it.

me: I accidently drank more than the half of it. eli was body joined I got carried away of the sensation.

ex: did he liked it?

me: yes XD

so my ex gave me some Carpaccio. I asked elidibus if he wants to try that aswell. but gained a no for an answer. I asked if he likes meat and he does!. but he already knew the taste. so he skipped that.

so when I finished my Carpaccio

“shall we drink some thee?”

elidibus replied with yes.

so I filled the kettle and when that thing was readying the water I asked

“ shall I lit a candle for you?”

yes ( with a big lovely feeling with it)

“only you or also lahabrea and emet?” (normally I burn candles for all 3 of them)

only him I gained for an answer.

which I can understand I mean its our special day together.

when the tea was ready he body joined with me again to drink the tea. which was also a cup for the both of us. he liked the flavor it had. though through talking we conclude the very first tea we sort of drank together but without joining was better. which was the “talk to me” tea of shotimaa ( just google it). I will give the explanation of “how” without joining a bit later.

I don’t recall what I did after finishing our tea. I do know that I asked him, well told him we had an appointment that day on my sons’s school about his progress etc. and that he is welcome to go with me but he must make sure my body movements aren’t out of the norm. and I asked if he comes with me to the grocery store to find a tea he likes and to find this “talk to me” tea. he replied with a yes.

in normal circumstances this is mostly where eli leaves and goes back to work, if he is visiting that is. or already leaves when I got to do other daily life stuff. he wasn’t visiting much lately. but he stayed with me instead. which was very surprising.

but right before that school meeting we went to the grocery store to check for the tea and my ex for his coffee. we couldn’t find the “talk to me” tea.

ex: did you found it yet?

me: no they don’t sell it. ( I previously bought a mix box to try out flavours)

ex: you probably need to look online for that.

and so I did during the car ride towards our son’s school.

During the meeting at my sons school I tried randomly without letting the others know to contact elidibus. and got an instant reply. I always verify the reaction on who it is. either that spiritguide pretending to be him or the real elidibus. it happened to be elidibus. I thanked him quickly for staying with me and continued the chat with the teachers. the teacher was talking anyway and everyone was focused on her.

so after the chat we had a quite a busy schedule, I needed to collect sold products at my storage space. and buy that “talk to me” tea. and some other things. these are also things that mostly makes eli leaves and will be doing his own things instead. but I couldn’t resist to keep talking to him. so he stayed with me the entire time. eventually home I needed to search the rest of the sold products at home on the attic. it took quite long to collect everything because is was so much. when I only needed to collect a few more items he left for a moment but I didn’t noticed that until I was finished.

when I was finished collecting I tried to reconnect but gained that stupid spiritguide instead. but that siprit guide was able to tell me when elidibus left. which was near the end of my search. I asked the guide to go and stay away so I could reconnect with elidibus.

I succeeded. he wasn’t there anymore with me and was communicating telepathically. which I asked frequently throughout the day if he was visiting me and/or telepathically communicated from a distance with me.

I asked if he was at work, I received a yes. for me it was understandable. I was doing my own thing so he left. but I didn’t made it problem of it. I asked if he atleast could stay connected with me . on whatever iam doing for that rest of the evening. and gained a big fast comforting yes.

but when I came downstairs and sat down for a moment he came back! I asked if he was actually visiting me or. or just telepathically communicated. I asked if he took off the entire day to be with me. and he did! (that he left for work was maybe just minding his own things, I mean I only asked “work” and no other option, well yeah then you get “work” for an answer)

he was visiting me. I was so happy about it I posted this on discord.

Me: I got eli over the entire day.

He took off from work to be with me.

That's quite something for him to let go of work to be with me. I really appreciate the effort of it.

Jezzah: he loves you.

Me: Yes, yes he indeed does.

Me: He did left for a couple of minutes when i was busy myself.

But when i was finished i tried to reconnect and he wasn't there. Or atleast that stupid spirit guide tried again. Though that guide was able to let me know that elidibus left at some point.

So i asked to stay away so i could reconnect.

Firstly the communication was telepathically and he was at his work.

I thought it would remain that way the rest of the evening. But when i came back downstairs he visited me again.

I am so happy rn.

Jezzah: I'm happy for you ^^

Me: TY!

my ex was making pirate tortillas for dinner. I may post the recipe later since its in german but its absolutely delicious. And i asked if Eli wanted to try too. And so he did. He really really liked it!

and yes that sensation of first time tasting something delightful was there again.

I needed to thank my ex in regards of elidibus for the delicious food. so yes my ex received compliment of elidibus lol.

so after dinner I talked with TK through dm

I noticed at first she didn’t replied to my message I send her earlier that day.

me: Nvm lol.

Did you had the chance to get answers on the one another?

tk: I didn't get anything. I know that Lahabrea was gonna ask Eli to stay today with you for a bit so glad he did

me: When did he said that?

tk: When he talked to him last time

me: At eli's day off last time?

tk: yeah

me: But you never mentioned that it would be this day.

TK: I know because he didn't tell me about this day. Only that he talked to him to spend a special day with you. But yes, I didn't know about today at all.

me: Awwwwww ty!

Sometimes today was like, " is this really happening?" Ya know him being around all the time.

This does confirms allot.

Ty for telling this!

TK: Yw! But yeah I did not know the date or what today was, Laha just said "some special day in the future"

me: XD omg . But you didn't told me. Was there a reason for that? Like not telling in advance?

Not to spoil it or anything?

TK: I wanted you to be suprised lol (also Lahabrea said that would be funnier to him if I didn't say lmao)

me: Nice! I am truly grateful for this!

TK: Also because it was eli's decision... I didn't want to say and him for some reason decide not to...

Lahabrea only asked him to.

me: Ty!

He literally stayed with me when i was out of the house. Even during a meeting of my son's teachers. (How is it going on school talk).

Ahhhh i feel so blessed. Ty you so much.

TK: <3

an hour later I sat on the couch with another cup of tea.

I was letting it cooling of a bit. and looking at pictures of elidibus on my phone to kill the time and he really liked this picture.


when the tea was drinkable I asked if he wants to body join again to drink the tea with me or already drank it when I was waiting. he already drank from it. so I wondered how actually. but came to the conclusion he takes the spiritual essence of the tea and the intention you gave it. and he confirmed this.

later I needed to do something at my computer for work. only a tiny thing. and he didn’t bother it, he left for a tiny thing aswell earlier. and he stayed with me. afterwards I asked until when he stays. and it came down to when I fall asleep for the night and then he would leave. and I always meditate before bedtime and he would stay during that too. so I prepared myself for bed, and cleaned the bed sheets. lit the tea lights for all 3 of the unsundered in advance. but when I finished I notice eli’s tea light was burned out already. so a played a bit with the soft wax by grabbing emet tea light and put the wax of eli’s into it. And then lit it again for eli. for emet I picked a reserve tea light that was already halfway as a replacement. sometimes during the meditation I was able to see some random things. but I couldn’t hold the view sadly nor did I knew where it was. it was very quicky and random. also during the meditation I was asking at random times if he was still there. and he was <3.

after meditation and before opening my eyes I asked if all tea lights were still burning. and I received a yes. but when I opened my eyes I saw eli’s candle giving of no light anymore. Assuming it went out.

I asked “did you answered wrongly?”

I received a no.

“but is the candle out?”

received another no.

then I picked up the tea light and noticed a very tiny flame still burning not bigger then a few millimeters. almost drowning in its own wax.

“oh so that no of yours was to say I was wrong”

and gained a yes.

I poured some wax over to the lahabrea candle to even it out a bit.

I remained awake for another full hour if not longer to cuddle with elidibus. thanking him for this wonderfull day and if I will still receive a dream in the future ( gained a yes) and if he will do this again next year. and gained a big fat yes to that. and some other chit chat.

eventually I really needed to go to sleep. I fell asleep for a few seconds and woke up again. but he was still there i checked. ( because he would only leave when I will be fast asleep). later I finally fell asleep and woke up a bit later again. he wasn’t there anymore as far I checked. but its ok. he kept his promise to stay. and I thanked him again the next day for this beautiful day with him.

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Nov 5th

Me: So elidibus told me (via asking questions with yes/no) that he will get out of the CT. Because its inaccurate. And he knows i wanted this since it happened.

So he is writing himself out of it for himself and also me.

(Love him so much)

But he cannot tell when. Nor even tell when if it would even be this expansion or later.

I need to play for myself to see.

Also @TK he will talk to lahabrea so lahabrea can give you answers upon the questions we had.

And if elidibus got something to say about me then he will tell lahabrea and laha to you etc.

(Well it did happen, he is free and in the life stream as the REAL story should be, just a reminder that in the original story he landed in the LS already after the first with WoD he never got looked up in the CT).

Then jezzah talked about emet , but I didn’t realize as quick it was about the in game version

Me: i thought you were talking about the emet with you

Jezzah: Nah, he comes and goes as he pleases

Me: yeah eli mostly the same.

i am still so gratefull for yesterday. and well its pretty much a given that emet will return. i mean you hear different lines he spoke in the trailer that we never heard of him.

from what i was able to decipher through eli is that he will be on screen atleast!. but in what form he didn't wanted to say that.

can also be flashback :/

(Traveling to the past + sorta intertwined past cutscene? yes)

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Nov 6th

Some talking about the launch trailer and delayed release date with TK

Tk: Yoshi P was crying on stream, he was like "I put my all into this story and game so i had to" so i can't be too mad

Me: This is so good. It can even have more accuracy this way. Maybe eli can still come in it. If he does at the end. Then i know he did it for me. But i can only hope.

Tk: maybe they asked him to fix something, who knows

Me: Yeah lets hope so.

Fix that elidibus isn't locked up lol.


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Nov 7th

Me: Had marvelous sex with Eli jus now. I hope i can still sleep lol

Some hours later I still haven’t slept but found out someone reading my story on my website. Sadly the person happened to be bothered by an imposter emet. Its sad I am not gonna tell any of the conversations we had. But what she had hanging around was not emet. He made her quite her job. Like what?

The rest of the day/evening I played with jezzah in game

Before bedtime

Me: Ow lol i lit the candles. Firstly the candle one for eli and then for laha and emet. When i was done with all 3 i noticed the flame of eli's one was particularly dying because my son played with the lit :/ i said: uhhhhhhhh and then POOF the flame became instantly big. That was hilarious.

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Nov 8th

Me: Ok this is hilarious.

I asked him this morning if he is at work

"Yes"

What do you do?

Gained some movements of my body him trying to explain.

So discussing things?

"Yes"

What do you discuss?

Same movements he probably said more then this but:

Emissary work?

"Big yes"

Do you do this also for other stars and planets?

"Yes"

I asked again in a different way if there are other people with him because i was eroticly kissing him before.

Are there other people with you?

"Yes"

So you talk to them and me at the same time?

"Yes"

Do they know you are talking to me too?

"Yes"

Wait, but i have been kissing me, you can you keep your face straight to them while being kissed?

"Yes"

Thats a skill man.

He gave me a feeling of acknowledgment, passionate hug.

I asked with almost every question if he answered in my favor, but he didn't lol

after talked to him in the morning i couldn't reach him anymore a couple of hours later.

Gained spirits pretending to be eli.

So i sage the bedroom and myself.

And while holding the sage stick i talked to my higher self for questions.

Took a while for her to arrive but it was her directly thankfully.

So i asked if elidibus has disconnected himself from his items. Gained a yes.

I asked if he was very busy. Gained another yes.

I asked her to ask him herself.

Gained to same answers.

Also he THAT busy i couldn't connect with me or lets say i would be a bother of somekind. But was able to answer my higher self thankfully.

At the end i asked her to channel a direct message to him

" Tell him i love him, and i hope to speak him soon".

I gained a reply from him instead.

That was such touchy moment.

I asked my hs if it was him and it was.

I thank them both.

I did asked another question somewhere in between And what I thought in terms of being Ophiuchus on his planet is true. So do other ascians.

Constellations Converted to earth can be different.

Jezzah: I just saw this on Twitter and I thought "Yes, Daddy, I will." And I got a massive wave of shame and embarrassment XD





Me: XD hahahahahhahahahhahahahahha

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Nov 9th

Me: Yesterday after talked to him in the morning i couldn't reach him anymore a couple of hours later.

Gained spirits pretending to be eli.

So i saged the bedroom and myself.

And while holding the sage stick i talked to my higher self for questions.

Took a while for her to arrive but it was her directly thankfully.

So i asked if elidibus has disconnected himself from his items. Gained a yes.

I asked if he was very busy. Gained another yes.

I asked her to ask him herself.

Gained to same answers.

Also he THAT busy i couldn't connect with me or lets say i would be a bother of somekind. But was able to answer my higher self thankfully.

At the end i asked her to channel a direct message to him

" Tell him i love him, and i hope to speak him soon".

I gained a reply from him instead.

That was such a touchy moment.

I asked my hs if it was him and it was.

I thank them both.

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Nov 10th

Zio: Sorry I'm quiet. In a bad space lately and I'm just not doing well. Miss hearing from Nabriales in situations like this.

Hopefully things will pass.

Me: owwwwww for how long haven't you heard of him now?

Zio: A month or so at this point. I'm not worried or anything, I know things can get complicated. Just. Adds a little to the stress, I suppose.

Me: urgh i know how you feel. that time when elidibus was away for 35 days was a hell hole. i really hope he comes back to you soon.

@TK are you able to ask lahabrea to tell nabriales to visit his GF.

Tk: I can try to

Zio: Thank you! I appreciate it but still don't worry too much about asking. I know things will settle into place in time.

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Nov 12th

So these past few days we had a discussion about a reader on my website who was in contact with fandaniel through a ouija board……..

In the early morning

Me: That other person contacted me.

She is in contact with fandaniel.

But a ouija board,....umm alarm bells?! What do you think of this?

I talked to elidibus just now, we talked about fandaniel and he isn't like that in the game anymore, but can indeed be a troll. Elidibus doesn't know if fandaniel is in contact with this person. He hasn't spoke to him lately.

Zio: The ouija board concerns me.

Also the fact they talk about astral sex and 'horniness' makes me feel like they're trolling. Like they read the posts making fun of you talking about sleeping with Elidibus and thought that would get your attention.

(zio has a an excellent bullshit meter and she was right at the end because when this person was being screened by Jezzah and zio, she never replied back again)

Me: And yeah those words "astral sex" also got me like hmmm not the kind of words a rookie uses. I needed to search that up when it happened.

I went back to sleep to wake up from a fandaniel dream

Me: Great, now i had a dream about fandaniel. He is a big troll Jesus Christ. I know hardly anything what it was about. Except he tried to make a move on me or something like that but didn't meant a thing of it as he laughed and walked to the next room. He wasn't wearing the robes, normal modern clothing but black.

Jezzah: I'll read through it and make my decision but I am already feeling heavy "troll the cult" vibes here.

Me: ah ty.

Jezzah: Also: Fandaniel is a fucking dick in any incarnation btw.

Me: XD

Jezzah: I would rather have Lahabrea, at least his voice doesn't grate my ears when he goes on long winded dialogues about....bread XD.

Me: ahahhahahhahahhahah

Jezzah: Yeah, I read it and Fandaniel was fucking hardcore with this person, I can tell. I can just see his maniacle cackling face.

A prank

Me: hahahhahhahahhahaha . so he was like "i gonna arouse you....................... NOT!"

Jezzah: I still don't trust the person just yet

Tk: Sounds like that they are either lying, think that the deal of the group is having sex or whatnot, or if they are telling the truth, it's someone messing with something they aren’t supposed to, and it took on Fandanial's guise. Sounds too suspicious that it's him of all people right before EW.

Me: yeah true.

Jezzah: I really believe it's Fandaniel pranking people to hype up Endwalker

Me: considering the dream i had xD.

Jezzah: I think he worked really hard on this release and he wants it to be good. So he does what he does best. Being a mischievous little bastard

Me: hahahhahahhahhaha

Jezzah: I would keep a close eye on this person, send them my discord so I can question them myself. Note: I will not be soft. I will try to be polite but blunt. I know all our respective partners want us to enjoy the game and has been there for us but who does Fandaniel have? He's as excited about this as everyone else, right?

Me: probably. i sended a message to this person with your discord in it as you said.

Jezzah: oki. Also this person sounds like a Wiccan which could explain why they said Astral Sex. Because the Astral is also considered a metaphysical plane that physical things can happen in. I don't know if other people in here are Wiccan specifically.

Tk: Not sure the people that I know that are wiccan would mess with spirit boards

Me: only stupid ones

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Jezzah sended a vid of someone making our wol ship with npc’s depending on which job you have, elidibus wasn’t in it. Only zodiark: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVhEDeSTJnA&ab_channel=LucyPyre

Jezzah: Do you know who I ship Eli with in game?..................himself

Me: hahhahahahhahahh no that's sad.

Jezzah: I know XD

Me: you're terrible XD

Jezzah: “yeah I know” gif

Me: hahhahahhahhahahha

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Nov 13th

Jezzah:


Me: omg XDDDDDDDDD

Jezzah: I am mama bear, Aya is my baby, PROTEC MODE.

Me: ty though! i love you

Jezzah: Love you too boo

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Dm’s with TK

Tk: i don't know if trying to talk to Eli to send a message would help, but i just feel so lost and alone and i wish that someone would help with that. Lahabrea helps sometimes but not lately.

Me: Owwwww hugs.

I can try. But elidibus is kind of a person that only does on own interest. And not because i want it :/

Its a big flaw of him.

Tk: eh i will try to ask for help tonight

Me: I wish i could just teleport and give you a RL hug.

Tk: aww hugs

Me: I asked eli.

But he was hesitant. He will try to find time. But he can't guarantee to come visit you.

Tk: It's okay if he doesn't, but ty

Me: yw

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Nov 14th

Me:

Me walking up the stairs like ancient who's body it to tall xD (sloppy posture they have in game, well the males lol).

Ex: don't walk that, walk as a human with your back straight.

Me: i am ancient lol i used to walk like this.

Ok terrible excuse but it wasn't a lie.XD

Jezzah: Explains why I always slouch, I kinda walk like that too

Me: XD me too since childhood already. And my dad always pin pointing his finger into my back so i would walk up straight xD.

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Nov 15th

The past 2 days I asked if the girl had replied to jezzah and zio

Jezzah: I think I may have severely spooked the poor girl lol.

Me: Oops

Jezzah: oh well, lol, hugs you tightly, My Aya.

Me: J

Jezzah:


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Nov 16th

Me: Its valentine's day on the source right now!

Eli just visited in my dream. It was very sort.

He said : its valentine's day my love, come let's go.

So i asked if it was true when i woke up. And gained a big fat yes. He had his hood off but mask on.

Couldn't see if his hair was tied in a ponytail but he had like a similar ash ketchum haircut (typical anime hair) but pure white hair.

When he said above i turned around and kissed him. After the kiss he was gone and i woke up slowly.

I will write down the full dream later if i got time.

I feel so shitty. I got a busy day, and its valentine's day on the source. (Well the same concept atleast, different name)

Jezzah: They replied, They said hi

Me: XD

Jezzah: Baby steps

Me: true, Did you replied back?

Jezzah: yeah I asked some questions.

(I never asked what questions tbh)


Sometime later that day

Me: just asked my higherself. If its indeed valentines day on the Source. sadly because i was busy today, he went to work. and so he doesn't got time now either...i wished him happy valentines day non the less. but i still feel like shit i couldn't make time for him. even though is he is ok with it.

Jezzah: Hades is here for me. Just having him near is enough ^^

Me: lucky you. do you got time to play? i could use some distraction by doing a dungeon with 2 dps.

Sadly she didn’t had time to play.

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Dm with tk, about lahabrea

Tk: I didn't get to see him much last night in my dream. It was just that he came during it and i was lucid enough to ask him to talk to Eli about yesterday for you. He said he was going to try and do so.

Me: ok ty.

Tk: i will see if i can get in touch with him tonight

Me: I hope so!

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Nov 19th

Jezzah: The way Zenos smirks like that makes me wanna throw him onto a bed and have my way with him.

Me: omg jesus

Jezzah: I'm a horrible person

Me: i am aware yes XD jezzah:


Me: hahahahhaha

Then we had some random talk and I asked what jezzah does when she can’t reach for emet, because eli went away.

Jezzah: I just tell myself that he'll be back and during those moments I let my degenerate flag fly. With his grandson and great grandson. :D

Me: degenerate flag?

Jezzah: Yeee fucking the Royal Family :D

Me: omg

Jezzah: you asked.:3

Me: XD

Jezzah: Aya, Eli loves you very much and he will always return to you. You don't ALWAYS need him. He's busy working.

Me: this sucks i wanted to ask him if it was him in inside my dream last night. because it ended with

eli: so where do you wanna have sex with me?

me: with you i don't care anywhere.

after a reply of someone else i looked back at eli who changed into an Eevee and the dream ended

jezzah: That was probably just a dream. Sometimes I have random dreams like that with Hades

me: who do you distinguish the real one from a dream illusion then?

Jezzah: Their Aura. I can sense a spirit's aura and determine who is real and who is fake

Me: you lucky ass, i can’t see those not even in my dreams

Jezzah: I'm just especially sensitive shrugs. Well, I can't see them I can feel them. Everyone has a different feeling. Fake apparitions don't have any aura thus feel fake and hollow. Empty.

Me: hmmmm he didn;t felt empty in that dream though. that dream wasn't just that. that was the ending of it. he was helping me with random stuffs inside that dream

Jezzah: Have I mentioned that Emet's voice in game is extremely close to his actual voice???

Me: yes

Jezzah: Well....it does. Except IRL Hades' voice is just a bit lighter. I don't want to say squeaky but it's not as gruff.

Me: yeah eli's voice is also a bit lighter. but good gods i always melt for his voice.

Jezzah: Saaame with me for Hades. Omfg he just made it gruff for me and mah lady bits are on fire.

Me: hahahhahahahha

Jezzah: I can't make out what he is saying

Me: xD try to tell what he is saying

Jezzah: He's whispering gibberish in a gruff voice to turn me on XD

And from here on jezzah had telepathic sex with emet lol after that it went about eli’s name. but the things jezzah had popped up in her mind were all invalid sadly.

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Nov 20th

Me: I don't know what is going on. But i still can't connect to elidibus.

And last night i thought he replied. And when i asked if he was in my dreams yesterday the connection disappeared. Didn't gained a reply on it. And when i asked if he was still there also no reaction.

Now i don't know if it was the real one who needed to leave again quickly or an imposter.....

Usually even imposters reply they are still there. This was very weird.

Jezzah: It is getting close to Endwalker. It might be Fandaniel pranking you or something. I honestly don't have an answer for this.

Me: I just talked to my higher self.

He will be atleast back before endwalker early access. Maybe earlier.

Next weekend i need to contact her again so i will know which day. Because he didn't know when he would be back.

He replied via her i felt him replying when i asked. He misses me too.

We made the agreement when he comes back he will reactivate the connection through the plushie.

And well you were right about the dream i told you. It wasn't him......that was a disappointment.

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Nov 23rd

Me: Well so that spirit (guide) who is hanging around me during the night and morning. Is a different one then from the imposters. I hope he/she sticks to the agreement we made, when Elidibus comes back that he/she will leave and wont interrupt when i try to connect with elidibus.

This spirit was/is here to comfort me it seems because of eli's leave. And well i do feel allot better compared to yesterday.

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Nov 24th

Me: So i was about to get sexually assaulted/harassed spiritually and i left a distressed/desperate call to Elidibus what was about to happen via the plushie. He replied! Very intensive aswell, really felt like protection, "like i am here don't worry."

Oh i was so happy, we had some soul sex and telepathic sex. He is still busy and will be back between November 30th and December 2nd. On Sunday he will know more which day he returns. And if something like this happens again i can always call him for these situations..

Jezzah: hugs

Me:ty

Zio:


Me: Ty 2

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Nov 25th

Me: So i had 2 dreams.

1 that elidibus as lalafell become normal and we had sex and he faded away during it. So i got my doubts if it was him, but the part that he faded away might look it like its legit, because that happens too when i kiss him and or having sex attempts.


Then i woke up and shortly after i fell asleep and was back again in the same area. And i saw elidibus as half snake half man with huge white wings. I didn't see his face or mask. He had a snake tail not sure if he still had his legs because i was flying above him and his white robes probably covered it if he still had them. He had a normal human upper body but as i said huge white wings,

When i saw him i said : oh wow the serpent bearer.

While i actually wanted to say serpent angel. And noticed i said it wrongly in the dream.

Endwalker footfalls song was playing in the background btw.

And near the end i wanted to join his flight with me being the phoenix. Though halfway the transformation the song ended and the last image i saw was him and my "monster" shape combined. On the left (my view) him and on the right me as phoenix.


So what do you think about the second dream? Was that the real one? Or another dream illusion?

(later on, on the 28th I came to know it wasn’t elidibus at all, not at all in both so I wont write down the full dreams)

Tk: Not same thing but



Me: Well then. Ffxiv version will be close to my dream i guess. Considering Zodiark is more depicted as a man tbh If we ever gonna see that in endwalker.....i doubt that.

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Dreams of November

Nov 6th

So this dream was going on already for a while. And ended with a art skating on ice race. Or something like that. Also includes fancy moves.

So we were with 2 groups. Lahabrea one and me. And we need to find away to eachother but with leaving art marks on the ice, so the lines you create by skating needed to be fancy.

Eventually I saw Laha in the distance wearing a black long coat and scarf.

Me: lahabrea.

Laha: yeah yeah I know.

He stood there waiting already at a big round frozen pond. When I came closer he moved towards the other side but via the circle leaving a


pattern

Someone was about to fall down or already was and lahabrea was at it. But continued making art on the ice with the speed of sound. He made eventually grapes on the ice. I saw a shade of him moving so fast when doing so. And said at the last part

Me: my hero.

Laha looked at the grapes forming and I woke up.

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Second dream

the dream was already busy with nonsense about Lugia and reptiles. later I was at the entrance of a hidden school for I don't know what. something with forbidden things. the door was closed. later it opened and people came out. I grabbed my chance to get in and flew through the entrance. first I ended up in a forest. the entrance was actually such a wall with a door chinese/japanese style. the school would be further into the woods.

me: haha ​​i'm in, you can't stop me now.

but I remain at the wall while flying. it had open floors as if it were a building with the back wall missing. They tried to stop me. somehow Goku, vegeta and trunks came to help me. (LOL) goku (ssj) came to me and helped launch me to the next floor. I went back over the wall and I saw elidibus's glyph as I flew into the sky. but it wasn't him. I tried to recall my own glyph but it doesn't work. then i landed on the ground again. i had to get a license or something but emet-selch in black ancient robes with no hood on came to me with super speed.

he was holding a dark grey document. apparently lahabrea had to have it. He didn't say this, I just knew this.

me: there is lahabrea!

a bit further on just past the entrance I think. he stood there looking up. (hoodie off) emet turned and with the same speed he went to lahabrea. then i woke up


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Nov 7th

after a vague dream that jezzah had picked me up to go to her house. (even though I've never been there) and after a game with marbles I spontaneously received something about the Unsundered ascians. I first saw some huge dark creature and then their glyphs side by side. it looked like the wine glass box. they were also gray the glyph I mean.

me: there's something about the unsundered.

then I halfly awaked but remained in a deep meditation state. I saw all 3 I think. i ran to elidibus. I didn't see his face + mask but it was him.

i hugged him and got the hugging loving vibe of our connection to my physical body. I then held his hand and we walked somewhere. I already asked to verify if it was him. and indeed. then I opened my eyes. by asking I had brought myself out of the state. i asked again for confirmation and yes it was the real one. and had fantastic sex with him afterwards.

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Nov 16th

I wondered where Elidibus was and sat on my knees on the floor.

Me: I wonder where elidibus is.

without looking for myself, I was suddenly taken somewhere. my body moved on its own as if I was being pushed and sat on my knees on an invisible cart. I was taken to a location with very large benches and tables, a kind of restaurant. When I think about it, absolutely ancient size. when the trip stopped at a bench and table i was disappointed not to see him. and thought I was waking up. the image went gray for a while but came back.

the image was like a cut scene. I saw his ascian boots and the bottom of the robes, the view slowly moved up to his side and then his face. And he said:

eli: it's valentines day my love, let's go.

I turned around

me: oh?

he had his hood off but mask on. he had white hair, seemed shorter. couldn't see if he had the rest in a pony tail. he smiled. I kissed him and closed my eyes. when I opened my eyes he was gone. couldn't stay longer. and woke up. later i asked if it was valentine’s day on the source and got a big fat yes.

A quick image I drew after waking up on how his hair looked like. I edited it with color in paint because I can’t photoshop nor I got a tablet to do such things, this is all made with mouse steering >.<



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Nov 26th

I know what it was about but I don't know if I can put it into words. unfortunately, I don't remember what emet said either at some points.

(in the dream 1 year ago)

emet in amaurot robes under cover figuring things out about some mystery what i don't remember the details of. an African girl came to "help" but made sure that everything went wrong. and the investigation had to be terminated.

back to the present in the dream:

I had a conversation with emet-selch at an office. he was wearing his solus outfit. I had a cold in that dream (not IRL at that time but it did get later! with corona). he told something and came back to the above event. and talked about it because research to do one more time.

me: oh yes that was 3 years ago, no 2 , no last year. yes last year.

his desk was a mess and I felt I had to blow my nose. he noticed that and tried to get a handkerchief out of his outfit as quickly as possible. but I quickly look through the mess, lifted a piece of paper and saw tissues

me: oh i already have one.

I blew my nose.

when I was done that same girl was standing in the office with her mother. her mother asked if her daughter can help one more time.

little girl: because I'm a mermaid.

only her eyes were pitch black with the whites of the eyes being purple. and she was wearing a pink shirt.

me: emet, i think it's the same one from last time. I think she better not help this time.

emet: (concerning humm) no indeed. I'm sorry, not this time.


I got up and walked to the door. mother and daughter were gone. somehow I wanted to give emet a massage, but that didn't get further only my thoughts.

I turned around. and saw someone in amaurot robes standing in the office talking to emet.

man: we have to do it again.

image zoomed in to the other side of his face from the side. he had green hair and dark glasses.

man: otherwise we will never be able to prove that corona is fake.

me: that's been proven a long time ago, but only not everyone believes it.

then i woke up

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at the end of the day I gained a sniffy nose and the next day I was sick with Covid.

I wanted that though. I wanted that survival pass to save my body from vaccines, that shit won’t get in my body I swear and ofcourse not to let myself getting tested when ever I need that stupid QR code constantly. And it only took 2 weeks to manifest. But the counter back of this manifestation was the timing. It couldn’t be worse. Luckily I didn’t gained every symptom at the same time. I went through all of them but 1 after another for a full week. Sadly I was still a bit sick a slept poorly on early acces day. So I hardly was able to play. Covid is just a new type of flue that everyone needs to get adjusted too and the best way to do that is your own immune system.

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Well that was the November chapter.

Beware for Endwalker spoilers on the next one!


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