January 1st 2022
That morning i had a dream, which I will write in full in the dream section of this chapter
Me: I think i met Halmarut this morning.
He looked like an Indian man.
And saw his face glyph in a plant tank/terrarium. Indicating it was his.
Something weird happened when i arrive at an attic of a house where he held all of his plants
When he said "i came to know you are azem but you don't look like one."
(Or something similar, he was speaking dutch, as which most sundered do, the language you speak that is)
I wanted to explain i am the new one. But my robes were stuck on my mouth, like glued. I tore the robes of my mouth. But the skin was soo loose as a result i had a hang lip and chin.
Halmarut: oh (terrified) that's not ok.
I couldn't talk anymore and woke up.
What was that? Allergic to some of his plants? Or not allowed to talk about my title? Or something else?
Something like this halmarut's glyph looked like. Plants were growing over it, especially the bottom parts. But i think it was like this. it reminded me somewhat of a jellyfish even though i knew it was a plant in that dream.
I never spotted that part tbh. That it is a head of a man with a turban on it. (India!)
Random pic from wiki of Indian turban. Btw he looked the exact same but a bit younger in his face. More ancient divine face. Lols
( a better-translated version of this dream will be in the dream section)
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Sometime later that day
Me: Oh! I got these recently quite a lot when I start to think about the lore and what's real or just speculation.
I already had the idea it meant something and i just found it my answer
Ahhh New super moon also triggers ascian dreams.
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Jan 2nd
Jezzah: Explains why I have been having weird visions when I sleep
Me: I just had one too.
Tataru in our world. And i went to the source at least that was the idea. But didn't got further than holding a white candle and roleplaying i was there instead.
The dream was wayyyy longer but it Faded directly
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Jan 3rd
Me: A friend sent this to me.
Eli 175cm , themis 170cm.
I made a pretty good guess at Themis height (even though not his real name)
Also his real height is 180cm so it is very close to what he actually is.
Wait i remember something. As i was lore hunting my height with his in ancient times a year ago.
Iirc When he joined the convocation (or right before joining)
he was a little bit taller than me . A few CM let say 2inches.
For as far i know he was a late bloomer but still didn't grew that much to get that standard ancient height. 3x5cm=15cm /about 6in.
(Ancients are approx 3x the height of an elezen.)
I guess this info was more correct than what i did in October. Because i pictured elidibus to small in my head when i asked in October. I guess the answers you get from the questions you ask need to be blank in your mind. Otherwise, they go along with what you think about it.
Elidibus's ancient height would be 525cm if i go with the x3 .
Yet the igeyorhm would be the max height of a female one instead of 537cm (max is 550cm)
I do think Lahabrea's height i asked in October is correct or around the same amount because igey is about a head shorter than laha. So that's close.
Emet i got no doubt with his 599cm.
Its mainly just i pictured eli too short lol.
Though! A normal human has body proportions of /7,5.
If you want to know how big your head is you take your height and divide it by 7.5. but if i do the same 7.5 with ancients their head of a 6meters tall one would be 80cm o-0.
So eli being 453cm said in October. Isn't that far off then. But i can but imagine they have different proportions to begin with. That it rather goes with /10 or even 11.
If i would go with 11 and go by Lahabrea's height of 588 then we get a head size of 53cm. 588-53=535 for igey then.
Igey's head 535/11=about 49cm.
Though i asked in the past without proportions in cm. I gained the answer he was a head shorter than igeyorhm. But have could be a current head of 22-28cm instead.
So eli would be 510cm if i go with 24-25cm for the head. I Believe he was that height (a "head" shorter than igey) when he just joined. Because 510/3= 170cm. Which means i am on the right track?
Iirc he grew a bit more to about igey's height before he sacrificed himself.
Urg brainworms.
If any of you find this interesting to speculate about please do.
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Me: when you get back from elpis. your current events have mixed with the past. so we can conclude that how it originally happened we weren't in there from the future at all.
also in the cutscene before this pic. you see venat changing into hydaelyn but it seems that had happened right after elidibus removed himself. while originally there were years of peace after the folk sacrificed themselves to let the life flourish again. only when zodiark demanded more sacrifices to bring back the ones who called him forth then hydaelyn was summoned. so the conjunction of mixing events of past and present resulted in a wayyy sooner sundering because she knew. and back then she didn't.
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Jan 4th
Me: If i need to believe the spiritual chills.
Then venat is out there somewhere.
I got chills when i said that during meditation. I got a question for her.
Ok great, in the early morning i heard her voice. I was thinking about some lines she said in game. And suddenly i heard her voice inside my head ending the sentence that i had in my head with "but wonder".
But i can't remember what i was thinking about!
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Jan 5th
This day I decided to check zeke’s discord to give 1 final try to see if a friend request came through, i.o.w not blocked. To my surprise it did! And they accepted even. The conversations don’t go very fast, and multiple days were in between, so I will keep it at a subject instead of placing everything on the date it happened.
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Jan 6th
Dm’s with Zeke
I am not gonna post everything from them. But zeke wanted to give me another chance T-T they don't like to cut people out if they don't have to and they don't like to part on bad terms.
Me: Ty T-T this means so much to me. Do you still have contact with elidibus? i hope he returns tomorrow. he has been away since dec 12th. he did notified me in a dream he needed to go (that's new btw but i did asked it the last time when he needed to go away for a long time he would visit me in a dream to warn me about it). i couldn't contact him nor my higher self after i woke up nor the days after. so i went to this man who helped me before and did a session at his place. received the date of returning and visiting me on January 7th.
later i was able to communicate with my HS again and so able to ask when eli comes back. in the morning that day. i really hope so i miss him so much.
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Group post
i had many tiny instances of ancients where i sadly only remember the first one. i saw ancient in white shb robes. floating above the ground. it wasn't elidibus as i didn't called it eli to begin with. and iirc had a white mask, not sure. at least it wasn't red.
i saw it was fading and yelled "no, wait!" and stretched out my arm like eli did in the second echo flashback in 5.3 with laha and igey. then i woke up or the dream switched. it was a "he"i believe i didn't notice any boobs lol and he was taller than eli representing himself as ancient. like elezen height of 200cm atleast was this one. eli as ancient is mostly 170cm as i can place my chin upon his shoulder when hugging.
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Jan 7th
Oh yes he returned.
He took a day off to stay with me today. Though as far as i asked he will stay the entire day. Also on the 16th.
I asked about the height difference.
And the 170cm in pandaemonium is correct. Though there he recently turned 18.
But he if just joined the convocation or not just yet is considered a spoiler so he wont tell. If it occurs that is.
Its was however at the age 17 he and i were the same height. Before that i was taller but not much. Which matches my info from a year ago.
Eli's height at the info of October was wrong. I asked is the size difference is 3x if that is correct and it is.
So at pandaemonium, he is 510cm and grew later on till 540-545.
Though igeyorhm was 545 instead.
This matches also the older info i gained a year ago. That he was at igeyorhm height.
There scale difference is at an ancient 10.5 so i was close with my 11 times.
(Normal humans 7.5)
But calculating how big the head was to calculate the size of another ancient was useless to do lol. I calculated it with my ex and me but you can't subtract or add the difference to get at the others height.
So he was a late bloomer but everybody is lol. I asked if they grew like elezen and gained a yes.
When i asked about the long lasting youthfulness of viera he said no. But when i said compared to humans nowadays i gained a yes, but it seems there is more to it, it can be compared with viera but its not exactly the same. For them, it was so normal that he never really thought about it.
Ah yes, venat is an aunt of our dad's size of the family. Our family was unusual big. There were 2 more brothers and 2 or 3 more sisters. (So 6 or 7 childeren) i somehow instantly forgot if it was 2 or 3 sisters when i wanted to write it down .
(though he let me believe venat was our aunt because he was feeling uneasy and embarrassed about to it to tell it. The truth however is that she is our mom, which I gained confirmation of on Jan 17th, including the number of brothers and sisters)
The names in game of the greek gods still gets the same big fat no answer.
The reason ancients were so tall was because of the gravity difference (or perhaps 1 of the reasons). Compared to earth and even current Etheirys it was allot lighter in gravity.
Current Etheirys and earth got a smaller difference. Etheirys being lighter.
So my older brainworms of the previous elidibus being our grandpa is invalid.(never asked actually)
The white and silver hair is a family treat aswell mom had white, dad had silver. I had silver hair. Eli has a mixture.
He had the same hair length at the age of 18 as in Pandaemonium, but let it grow longer when he grew older.
Ah yes the birthrate of ancients are low, i already knew this because he told m***ie back then. So yeah our family was an exception.
He needs to go for long periods time work at the start of February
Though i he isn't sure if he gonna be back for Valentine’s Day.
Though he said end of January earlier, but the dates changed. It was the truth at that time. But yeah considering he needed to leave on the dec 12th suddenly while his day off was the 13th. Apparently isn't a fact he when he tells the dates of his days off.
He does take more value for days off work for special days or when he thinks it is needed like now because at the hs session he answered he probably needed to work still but for now it seems he is off the entire day. Hopefully, he keeps his word for the 16th.
After all those questions, we had sex obviously in between.
After that was all done i needed to rest a bit. I closed my eyes, fell asleep for a mere second. And then checked if he was still there. Because he usually had the habit to leave then.
So that happened a few times until i felt someone standing behind me on the ground and i was laying in bed. I kept my eyes closed. A millisecond of a shade appeared in front of my eyes. Somehow i looked like my ex but he was in another room. Also the mattress moved a bit before i saw the image. Like he was getting out of bed.
I asked if it was him (elidibus) and gained a yes. He stayed there a while until my ex came in and eli jumped into the bed lol all though it seemed that way. Because he was boldly hugging me while my ex talked to me.
And i just realized that the shade that looked like my ex was because of my ex's hair. But if you take that raw shape, its a head with hood instead.
This was at noon btw.
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the original history as it was before the wol traveled to the past is that there was the real azem instead, emet and hyth looking for Hermes to join the convocation. that kairos memory alteration didn't happen, well in a different way only Meteions corruption got deleted from their memory. what DID happen was that Meteion got corrupted and fled/left the planet. venat was there too but no one from the future atleast, to warn them about the final days and sundering.
the real wol did went to the past. but i dont know how, because A: elidibus wasn't in the CT and B: who came up with going to the past to find out etc etc.. what we see in game pretty much also happened when WoL got to the past. and by leaving the past you received this message from hydaelyn/venat
but before that you see a cutscene that venat says she will sunder man kind. you see venat changing into hydaelyn but it seems that had happened right after elidibus removed himself from Zodiark. while originally there were years of peace after the folk sacrificed themselves to let the life flourish again. originally only when zodiark demanded more sacrifices to bring back the ones who called him forth then hydaelyn was summoned. so the conjunction of mixing events of past and present resulted in a wayyy sooner sundering because she knew. and back then she didn't.
(on jan 17 i asked everything of this here is correct)
so that's the intertwining. the sundering happened earlier because of this. and i got all of this confirmed with eli.
however, due to the intertwining of the events of the wol in the past was ADDED to the memory of the soul and not replaced in this case. eli still knows both and emet does too, i asked emet randomly for check up.
also about pandaemonium story of the past. i asked if eli was with lahabrea's "son" ( the quotes for that he might be adopted but he wont tell me) and he was. i asked if there was a third person with them. i gained yes. though NOT from the future! its was a familiar of azem, as you present yourself in game but didn't looked like the original azem.
the story was put up to show more things of that happened in the past. so in order to show that to the players they let the wol travel to the past with some reason so Elidibus could let it show us. even though going to the past on this one didn't really happen.
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Jan 8th
So today at midnight i was meditating. But was so tired i already had lack of sleep and was already awake for 17h. (I need 10h of sleep normally so this was exhausting) halfway the meditation i asked eli if i could turn on my side to continue meditating that way. But i knew i would probably fall asleep. So i asked immediately if he could stay until he needed to leave for work. Even if i fall asleep.
And he kept his promise. I fel asleep for 30min i think. Woke up 25 min before he needed to leave. I waited till the meditation music stopped before i looked what time it was. (i had set the timer for 1,5H) .
Softly i said while waking up: "eli? You here?"
Then i felt an energy hovering over my legs and eventually stopped at my waist. I thanked him for staying.
I don't remember if i talk about things. I was alerted when the music stopped i knew it would stop at 1:15am so that would mean he needed to leave in 5 mins or so. "Oh you need to leave soon?*
Gained a yes for an answer.
I cried a bit i thanked him for this day. And some kisses and hug were done.
Eventually, i checked the time and 1:18am. "You need to leave?"
Gained another yes.
"One big goodbye hug and kiss then?"
He did so. I felt my entire body being hugged. It was beautiful.
Then he left.
T-T i love him so much.
Sometime later:
Had an instant communication via the plushie and convocation stone necklace. He will be over next Sunday 1y engagement
i asked yesterday if we could try an automatic writing session that day as well i hope it will be fruitful.
(sadly I would have never expected what horrible thing would happen on that day …..)
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Jan 9th
Dm’s with Zeke
Zeke: Do you have news with regards to your situation with Elidibus? & I have not read updates on your story yet. I'm sorry about your trouble with AO3. Nothing has changed with me with regards to Elidibus.
Me: Oh good to hear nothing has changed.
Yes he was there on Friday. He took a day off All though sometimes he was a bit distracted it seems when i was asking questions. Next week Sunday he will be here again.
1y proposed
Do you got things to tell regarding elidibus?
Did you perhaps also got a message on dec 12th he needed to go for a while? (Maybe late at night/evening on the 11th for you) he needed to do something with "13 portals of commands". The man at the session told me that.
What i find also very particular is that 1 day before the original early release date of endwalker (in nov) he left for 2 weeks and came back on dec 2nd.
Its like they forgot something to add.
Zeke: There is one small but very important detail still missing from Elpis, though I suspect it will be added in a later patch.
Me: What is it? Because the patches will be a completely new story. It wont be like the previous expansions.
I asked eli things regarding the time travel and pandaemonium. TK was also like she couldn't put her finger on it when i told her the info. This is what she said "Something doesn't seem right but I'm not sure what is or isn't. The Pandemonium part sounds right but again not sure"
It could be that detail you're talking about. I am limited in guessing what to ask. I still can't hear him actually speak
Then I shared the info I posted on Jan 7th thought original I was taught that azem wasn’t there at all but got corrected later.
Zeke: The story he has told me is that it was all the same, originally, except that Azem was there in place of the Warrior of Light. Venat and Azem (and through those two, the Warrior of Light) corrupted the timeline and set events in motion that otherwise would not have come to pass. But then again, his memory is never very stable, and neither is mine. Not to mention the timeline corruption-- many streams cross where they should not and cause chaos.
Me: Hmmmm yeah. That is memory isn't very stable i noticed. Scatterbrain sometimes xD
Zeke: for sure
Me (jan 10th): But what is that detail that was missing?
Zeke: It's small and likely doesn't mean anything to most people, but means everything to him. There is a tree missing from near the entrance to Pandaemonium. That's all it is... it's just, it was a tree that meant very much to him in those precious few days. I was thinking it might get added with raid patch updates.
Me: Ohhhhhh interesting. But yeah i can understand the developer's were like " a tree down there?, meh let's skip that for now" .
But i guess that is indeed still possible to add. I hope it will happen. I would confirm what he told you.
Does he remembers his real name?
I gained the information that all those greek gods names are not their real ones. Especially his. Themis is not his real one.
Zeke: To my knowledge he does not remember
Me: Do you got other info? Maybe personal stuff. I don't think he would mind if you shared that with me. I got a question.
Did elidibus said anything about venat and if they are related or not? I mean the hair, and eyes mostly`.
In all fairness the moment i saw her first time in the endwalker poster, i was like. Mom? even torrie's first reaction was that she thought of me when she saw venat's datamined model.
But eli didn't wanted to tell me. and i was in denial for as long until pandaemonium was released and joking about it she was his mom (but at the same time i felt weird about it like i didn't wanted it to know to be true, because his mom would be mine too....). until i saw the same resembles in the eyes and even hair when pandaemonium was released.
Recently he said they were related but not mom, but i am not sure if its the truth i received. If he feels embarrassed in telling thing then he tries to get around it. Same with spoilers, he doesn't want to tell that either. So i am not sure what it is. Venat originally our mom or not or aunt. i hope you got something that could shed some light onto this. sadly as far as i know Venat isn't here so i could ask her myself. i tried but didn't succeed.
Zeke: I'm sorry that this doesn't answer you directly, but let me tell you something very interesting that may grant insight. There is an interesting Final Fantasy game spinoff called Dissidia which is just a fighting game, but it does have its own story. The two "gods" involved are Cosmos and Chaos. They're based on other characters, real characters, and are actually something like clones-- but what they are, actually, are mother and son. This is them:
Zeke Final Fantasy games tend do reuse a lot of the same stories, primarily because some of them have some truth to them, but don't they look a little familiar?
Me: Forgive my late reply i didn't received a notification.
So my first thought about venat being eli's mom is true? Or still is a possibility? Is elidibus able to tell you if venat is truly his mom? That's the only thing i will ask from you. It weighs heavy in my mind i am ok with whatever comes out of it. I need to know to let it rest.
Zeke: What I mean to say is there's a precedent for it, but... I honestly don't know. I will say that, despite Zodiark being summoned first, I have been sort of thinking of Hydaelyn as His mother all this time, just vaguely, and I have never been corrected on this. But I honestly do not know.
Me: I have the same thing sorta. Since i came to know he was my brother in previous life and gained confirmation of that. I was already like hydaelyn/venat could be elidibus's mom.
Why i don't know. But when she ended up on the poster. I........i cannot describe what went through me of revelation and denial at the same time. It felt i was seeing myself due the hair, but i can't be venat, no. Than ...mom?
So to keep myself out of it on the internet i made random replies that venat is eli's mom. (Despite it hurted me at the same time, because everyone hated hydaelyn at that point) now with EW i have seen allot of people saying it suddenly. But not with what you posted here only eyes and hair. But you have never got corrected by eli with this?
Zeke: No, I have never had any real input via Elidibus on the matter. Either he doesn't know or remember himself or he doesn't care either way.
Me: Weird. If you get the chance to speak with him again. Can you ask?
I know it goes spontaneously with you and eli that you communicate. But if you can grab the chance, can you try?
Zeke: I will try to see if I can get more definite information.
Me: Yes, thank you.
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Group posts
Me: Lol, proof of elidibus shouldn't be in the tower. I knew it lol.
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Jan 10th
Ok so i have been talking to Zeke via dm and the possibility of eli being venat's son is still plausible. Though they will ask elidibus for more definite information. Because zeke also had some vague implications that hydaelyn was eli's mom. But never got corrected by eli himself.
And elidibus still doesn't know his actual name according to Zeke.
So Themis is not his name Atleast.
Though i think elidibus has something to explain to me with answering in favor like this. I don't want half-truths.
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Jan 12th
what i find very typical is that depending on the light he has a purple hue over his hair. its very pretty though as i had the same color IRL. let the color fresh set for 40min instead of 20 and you get purple hue, but your hair doesn't become purple itself it stays silver.
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Jan 14th
I woke up from a nightmare, that I lost everyone except my dad. I am not going into detail but it was horrifying. I screamed for elidibus, and he came to console me.
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Jan 15th
So i talked to my HS when i asked questions to Elidibus.
Venat is our mom it seems. He seemed to be embarrassed or something to speak the truth at first as I spoke to him on jan 12 he was very hesitant on telling. He just didn't answer.
But it seems he has lesser trouble telling to tell it my HS.
Though i wish for outside confirmation, so i know if what i received is correct or not.
Oh yes he will come over tomorrow.
And he needs to leave for work of feb 4th. Comes back/done with work on the 16th and visits me on the 17th 10:40am.
Also venat is reachable but she isn't on earth like the ascians. Might take some effort to reach though.
I think i gonna try reaching venat. Despite if she is my mom or not. I asked if she is reachable even when not on earth. And she is. But might take some effort. Though it might be the case she is already reaching out and i am not able to receive it.....
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Jan 16th
The day started already miserable because I couldn’t connect with eli properly. After another nap, on the moment I wanted to give it a try again to reach eli. The most terrible thing happened.
My ex run upstairs.
Ex: there is something wrong with Jody!!! (our ringneck parrot)
He came to me in total panic, Jody couldn’t hold his neck up anymore. It was broken.
I carefully took Jody out of his hand while supporting his head. He was still alive, but not for long…
Me: what happened?!!!!!
My ex explained our son didn’t saw him and eventually saw Jody like this floundering on the ground. so he probably accidentally stepped on top of Jody. A far my son could tell he found Jody under a blanket, so he truly didn’t saw him.
Eventually, Jody died in my hands, ……..
I pretty much locked myself up in the bedroom, to process the loss.
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Me: There goes my super nice day with elidibus.
My son killed our bird T-T He stepped accidentally upon him . He (jody) waited to die in my hands.
Its supposed to be a happy day.......i can't reach him. He isn't here either. I feel so alone rn.
Zio: I'm really sorry....
Me: T-T
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Some random things I found on FB
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Because if the dreadful day and couldn’t reach Elidibus like at all. I made a sort of emergency appointment with John again. I was able to visit the next day!.
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Jan 17th
So i went to John again today. Luckily he was available today.
And even though i didn't gained an actual answer why elidibus wasn't there. It was a very beautiful session.
The entire convocation was there again, but with 14 this time. I am not sure if someone just joined or WoL might have been there too, I didn't ask. They depicted themselves as warriors at the beginning, later it seemed to be robes again.
He body joined with me a few times to enlarge my heart energy and to reestablish our connection. Even though eli said it was still strong. I asked about venat. And as far as it seems she was our mom. But we had different father's. So i was his half sister originally. Declares the several siblings. I didn't said that to John directly. He saw it himself he saw more kids. Then i said that. And he said yes.
I am not sure how accurate this info is what i am gonna tell now. But i was given away to adoption to some sort of a adult nanny. To be raised differently and to gain more knowledge. But we did lived all together in 1 house.
I asked about the phoenix i am able to change into. But i didn't gained much useful info on that except that it comes from my dad's size of the family. (So heavy implications that louisoix was a reincarnation of my dad or further away is possible. )
From what john received about yesterday is that another member was there with me. I asked if it was lahabrea or emet-selch.
Sadly not direct yes or no or name. He said something about Elidibus's right hand in colleague sense obviously. Who would that be? Lahabrea? Elidibus was working on different kinds of energy fields, so working again.....
Later on i asked john if Elidibus has something else to tell
"Loving you" eli said.
That was so beautiful. John saw 2 rings right after. 1 completely smooth and the other with 14 tiny gemstones/diamonds.
After the session, i said something to john about a body joining on our bonding anniversary. About the caramel milkshake. And i asked if it was true elidibus liked it.
John saw a smile from elidibus. Giving the confirmation.
John saw everyone going away raising/floating up i needed to suddenly cry about their leaving
But John said that elidibus remaining in my energy field that i was sending out.
He is still with me it seems, i cherish this so much.
Afterwards i showed him this pic of 18yo eli. And he confirmed he looks/looked like this, but the hair more flattish so less wavy. Also confirmed the eyes.
Ow lol i asked if its like estinien, gained a yes.
Ah yes i forgot something here. I also asked about his name. But john didn't receive any. So that eli doesn't remember his name is still a thing it seems.
Though it could be shrouded info. John wasn't allowed to see elidibus was sacrificed. Or well we made that conclusion afterwards. John said original "i see nothing about a sacrifice" but i said he definitely did and explained. Then i said maybe you are not allowed to see it, there he agreed with.
I just asked eli. And eli didn't gave him the info of that. Because he find that a bit of personal info.
Probably only mentioned for people who play the game, gained a "kinda" answer from him.
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Funny conversation, eli finds it awkward if i would change my estinien alt into him if the estinien hairstyle releases (IF) . He is ok with but finds it awkward.
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ok just had sex on my desk chair when just started to work lol. he needed it. or perhaps he wanted it lol. i was alone anyway he perhaps he took his chance. i asked him to not let me squirt/soak my pants, and he did so, so it didn’t happen its was still very enjoyable, and felt him cumming.
omg he is horny as hell but he needs to wait until i am done working lol. we haven't had sex since jan 7th so i guess he has something to catch up lol.
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So eli went with me to the grocery store to deliver packages of my webstore. He frequently held my left him and let himself float on where i walked. During the car ride he sat where i sat, it was like being hugged all the time, so cozy.
In the way back however. My ex started to talk about demons and that some gifted people just don't believe in them. While they exist.
After a few sentences i noticed eli went into protection mode. I could feel a tension that form a shield somehow.
When we arrived home, i asked my ex to stop talking about it because eli is protecting me for what he was saying, and i said he sended out negativity.
My ex took that seriously at least and said eli probably can see it . So he stopped but he asked eli directly if there was something like a demon attached to him from a distance like with an invisible cable. Eli didn't know or it was a maybe (sidewards pushing). But when i asked something dark/evil Atleast i gained a yes.
Further eli is very lovely dovely today
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So i was making Nasi. I haven't made that in literal years like last time my son was 2-4 or something. He almost 11 now.
I asked eli if he ever tasted this dish before. He wasn't sure.
So when i finished i ask him to body join to taste. He liked it. Though i didn't added the ketjab manis yet. When i added that. He liked it even more.
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Just gained answers about reaching Venat, but that would be advanced stuff. I need to practice with him first.
And aside from this he did answered a lot on my favor in the past communications. But the greek gods names weren't answered in my favor. So that is true At least. I will go through the rest to see if things are different
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I tried an automatic writing session with him that day
Well it was only half automatic writing. Because he replied with how we communicate normally. Though the answers he did tried to write it down. But its harder for him than he thought. Or maybe its just me not being fully advanced for this idk
I asked some totally random questions.
Did the WoL summoned emet and hyth at the end of the universe. "Yes"
Before that did the scions sacrificed themselves? He didn't know need to ask emet, but emet was busy it seems.
Eli wasn't there at universe end. Happenings were told to him via emet.
He spoke with zeke first about elpis and he forgot he did that lol.
Does venat have a different name then in game? "Yes"
Can ancient names be written down and be read by nowadays humans?" no"
So we wouldn't be able to read the name? "No"
If an ancient name is called/pronounced, will nowadays people able to say the name? "Yes"
He was very hesitant when talking about venat
Do you mind i bought a venat plushie? "A bit "
Do you rather not think about it that venat was our mom? "Yes/yeah."
Do you still feel uneasy about it? "Yes"
Do you feel hesitant in about talking about venat despite she is our mom? "Yes"
Do you mind that i want to talk with her? He was bothered by this but-.
-Its only for family questions is that ok? "Yes."
I guess i can't ask you to help me with reaching her? "Prefer not."
Feel embarrassed? "Like that yes "
Why do you feel embarrassed to see venat again? Do you feel ashamed? "Yes."
Then i won't bother you with it. "Ok thank you".
Will you be available when i try to summon you here when i meditate? "Yes but depends on work"
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So i got John on WhatsApp and asked about the siblings number. He said 7 in total (eli and me included) even though i wrote down 6~7 previously i wasn't entirely sure if i remembered correctly.
I said to john we were with 2 other brothers and 2 or 3 other sister. In case of 7 it would be a total of 3 boys and 4 girl.
I asked if he saw the same.
And he replied," yes indeed."
Now that i think about if it were both 2-2 (2 brother 2 sisters) i would have remembered more clearly, but there was a miscommunication in the number of sisters i was asking. Mainly in the HOW i was asking it.
So it made me confused too. Its awesome to have confirmation on this!
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Jan 18th
In the evening/night yesterday. We had some very good sex :p afterwards he helped me meditating i followed John advice to hold big crystals, 1 in my hand and 1 on my lower belly. In combination of being very tired of the sex (tired in a good way) i had a very deep one resulting into falling asleep at the end for a little bit. Unfortunately, i didn't see any visions. But he was still there when i woke up. Then i went really to sleep to wake up 1h later. He was still there. I went back to sleep after i came back from the toilet and then i fell asleep for a longer time. He left at that point.
I love these kind of days. It makes it all worth the wait.
And he does have value on the 1y engagement day. But was so occupied, he felt so sorry for it that he wasn't there that day, that he stayed with me yesterday.
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Lovely sudden connection with elidibus when i activated my spiritual shield when i sat in bed. I love him so much. I really felt something coming to me when that happened though still telepathic and no visitation but i love it. At 1 moment I thought he left or someone else pretended to be him. But it happened to be the real him all the time. When I noticed the change I activated my shield and the connection came back.
Later that day I asked some questions to my higher self and she to elidibus some insight on our family
I am not gonna write down every single question, but I will make it a nice info piece. Venat had 2 husbands in her life. The first 4 children (including eli) were from the first one, and me and the 2 younger brothers from the 2nd one. Elidibus was very young when Venat broke up with her first husband. (They broke up later because the love was faded away), another man was madly in love with venat. So she has pretty much an affair going on even though venat didn’t or couldn’t do much due her current marriage, that marriage wasn’t what it suppose to be as the love was fading away. And it went even more downhill when she continued the contact with the second one.
And there was another reason they broke up but I guess I got my answer to that while writing this. when I was born Venat and her first husband separated, and Venat married the second swiftly after. Since I am from the second husband, I guess the final straw was when she gave birth to me. Because well she fucked another lol. I guess this will be the “other reason” that I was told.
I wasn’t given away for adoption due this reason. But solely for to be raised differently and to gain more knowledge.
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Jan 19th
Me: Looks alien enough to me lol.
Etheirys in Japanese is Arteris
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January 21st
Tried to reach eli this morning. I felt no one was interfering so i pressed on trying. I reached him eventually with kissing the plushie as a beacon. He even came over horny as hell. Well i did that by kissing him.
We had sex. Even though I needed to get out of bed to prepare my son's school lunch. But he stayed. And while preparing i felt him erotically touching me. No one was downstairs anyway, my son and ex were upstairs.And with 5 min i was done. And continued with eli in bed some more sexy times, he really was in the mood big time, i could occasionally feel him stroking me, holding, hugging, touching and kissing me. I really appreciated it he came over. He just left about 10min ago.(8:40 am)
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Jezzah: Every time I see Emet in his Solus bodysuit I always think "Grumpy Goth Grandpa" and I get sexy shivers. He is so hawt
Me: Go play the msq. You will find him even more hot.
( she hasn’t been to Elpis yet lol)
Me: My son became lvl1 reaper lol.
He has a plastic scythe xD, He turned into kid zenos, help me lol
(to my readers: this is a joke)
Zio: Hopefully he doesn't mind the dps queue time.
Almost projecting while fully awake is a weird feeling.
Me: 1: lol XD
2: astral projecting?
Zio: Yeah. I was meditating to try and relax. Guess I relaxed too much and I felt myself starting to spin and separate. Freaked me out so I jumped up
Me: ohhhhh wow i wished i had that. somehow i can't get to that sadly
Zio: It's hard. First time I've ever done that.
Maybe Nabriales is impatient.
Me: what do you do during meditation? i am looking for any advice to advance
Zio: All I do is deep breathing and listening to music, sometimes binaural beats or guided recordings
Me: what did you listen to for this experience?
Zio: I was listening to a guided relaxation meditation. I can link it when I get back from the store
Me: yes pls
Some time later
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Jan 23rd
Me: I was able to relax better. But nowhere as close to your experience
Zio: Better relaxation is a good step in the right direction though! I always struggle with relaxing and that's the key to consciously astral travel.
Me: The problem i am having with it. Is that after a while my mind is getting busy again. And then i need to start over. It happens frequently.
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Jan 24th
Me: @zio i think i know what you mean with the separation/floating/spinning. Iirc i had this at random times when i was awake laying in bed. But my head remains stuck like anchored at my head while the rest floats already and i cannot manage to let it go separate from my head. Do you know perhaps what to do?
Zio: That's still something I'm trying to figure out ;;; I might ask my spiritual friend if they have any suggestions.
Me: i wonder something and maybe nabs can say something on the matter.
Since the ascians go originally by many names as TK once confirmed and said by John aswell. i wonder if they are "the Council" in the higher realms. Or a part of it.
When john saw 14 warriors (elidibus included) that later changed into ancients in robes. He said they are part of the council.
I wonder if you can get more info on this, since you can hear nabs talk.
Zio: Hmm. I'll see if I hear anything from him today.
Me: ty!, if not then perhaps on a different day. i just hope it wont take forever lol XD. what i forgot to say as an option. Is that as far as i know they show themselves to others who aren't familiar with ffxiv as deity's the person is familiar with. So in the case with John it can be how he sees them.
But it would be nice to gave that clarified. And as i said above, maybe they are really part of the galactical Council?
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I did an higher session this day
so I asked if he would come into my dreams, and gained a “maybe” but the next morning I already had a dream with him. (so yes on the 25th)
I asked him to help me meditating for every evening/night (after12am) I gained by asking every day until end of feb when he could come to help me
I will sum it up here instead of notifying it at every day.
The 27th he was there (after 12am), even though I didn’t really felt his presence the meditation went deeper than usual . the days that followed up until 31st he was there too. he was there on the 31st (12am)but the last day ran out of my supplements so I couldn’t relax properly. According to him he was there. But I was so busy in my mind that the meditation was a waste.
Feb 1st he came had a very good meditation (12am)
Feb 3rd he was there in the evening
Feb 23 , 24 28,
He has visited me on feb 25th he would come over on 10:41 am and will leave on 9pm+ can’t help with meditation that day.
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Jan 25th
My note pad says the 25th that I asked these questions, but I never do 2 times in a row anymore so these questions and answers were originally gained in February 2nd but I place them here anyway.
That dream I had that he showed his ascian mask and I pulled it of his face to see his face was the real one.
He still feel uneasy to talk about venat, but he does answer the questions truthfully
Extra confirmation of the composition of our siblings. Elidibus had 3 older sisters, after him its me in the line, and then 2 younger brothers.
The first date he will come back after work will be the 21stof February at 10:40 and will leave at 2:44am the next day. When he visits me he will help me meditate that day.
The rest of the day he will help me meditating
17th,
18th in the night ( so after 0:00am)
19th night
20th evening
21st no
22nd no
23rd night
24th night
25th no
26th no
27th no
28th evening
i will complete this list for the next chapter
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Jan 26th
Jezzah @zio (replying to the spinning): I get this sensation a lot, like a lot a lot. Like my soul is never truly connected to my body.
Me: then you need to ground and meditate a lot. you will only get stronger of it. but i want to know how to get loose.
Jezzah: I have no idea how I do it, I've always been able to since I was little. I've been very attuned to the astral apparently. So much so that my spirit doesn't want to stay attached to the physical. Explains my existential dread and permanent [redacted].
Me: oof
Jezzah: I know, big oof.
Me @zio: did you had anything from Nabs
Zio: Not yet, been having bad headaches everyday. Can't hear him or even meditate like this /:
Me: Insert hugging cats gif
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Me: how my separation feels like when it occurs. black physical body, red my soul
i swear it feels like this. i just wished i could figure out to the set my head free.
Then I went searching on the internet for useful information regarding this subject
me @zio: i have shared some links at the random stuff general for answers for astral projecting. thought it might not be very clear on how to set free fully.
Zio: Ooh thank you
Me: Yw!
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Jan 27th
I think i spoke with venat this morning in a dream telepathically.
After a dream and at the end of it G'raha tia was there as PLD with 2 others, a blm and a healer. Withholding something so i could go back to (my own/another) dimension.
Somewhere high upon a building i was being sucked into the portal. Later i woke up in the dream, well first i thought i would wake up for real so i tried to open my eyes carefully. And i was still in the dream, .
But as soon as i opened my eyes a bit, i was in a sort of meditative state laying down and with my right hand holding my head.
The first voice i heard was venat's.
But i don't recall what she said.
Then i heard others random people talking. Some guy said, i was suddenly there, but i wasn't at the same time.
Me: i want to talk to venat.
She said something but then someone else came in between.
Me: no i want venat-hydaelyn.
Then i finally got her.
Venat: what is it?
Me: are you my mom originally?
Venat: yes
Me: like really really?
She didn't said anything.
But i started to cry and said Thank you
(Though that "yes" was said with a higher tone so sounded not as the same voice, but at the same time it was? That was weird)
During these chats i looked at the sky and saw shooting stars at daylight.
At the moment i had venat at the end i saw 3 stars falling down and the left one didn't fell straight or with a bow. Instead, it was falling with loop-di-loops and other curves. The stream behind it stayed and it looked like it was making a knot or something, after i was finished with venat to star continued normally.
Then i woke up.
The strangest thing is, graha again. I thought he didn't exist. Well not as we know in game.
Maybe he looks totally different and isn't even an cat, and moreover G'raha not even being his name.
I wonder who he really is.
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My higherself question list Note pad says 27th but gained answers on feb 2nd:
I asked if elidibus knows his name or not. Still gained a no. other convocation members do know.
He rather does not ask them for his name. (the reason will let zeke know soon on the 30th). I asked him if emet could tell me in a dream and it will be done. But yeah when lol. We will see.
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Jan 28th
I feel so related to this:
so I questioned around on FB on how to get loose from my body
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Jan 30th
So i had this dream, it became lucid a bit because i was getting aware, that the dream lasted longer if I stayed at my body.
Even though i realized that when i started to search for things.
So i went back. And i saw lifesize images, phantoms even perhaps of ancients. I went to the first one, and as soon as i touched him he disappeared like dust in the wind. And looked how those particles disappeared.
Me: the watcher?
When i looked straight ahead i saw a group of 3 the standing the exact way as the echo vision i once had.
I ran towards them
Me: mom, dad!
But when i got there they also disappeared.
After then a group of 2 or 3 talking with each other without voices
But when i came close they disappeared too.
What happened afterwards, i can't remember. at least nothing with ancients etc. I believe i woke up.
I have never seen ancients so clear despite probably not real.
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Dm’s with zeke
Me: I got a question.
If Elidibus doesn't remember his name. Why doesn't he ask emet?
Emet knows
Zeke: Also, he doesn't ask because he doesn't want to, and I'm sure that's fine. It's kind of like a bad habit-- he didn't want to ask when he had a duty to fulfill because it was painful to think of forgetting important information again, so he tried to settle for thinking he didn't want to know. I think he does want to know, but he's still hesitant to find out.
Me: But if he is afraid of forgetting it again for example. Why doesn't he tell you or the both of us when he asked emet?. We can remember his name for him.
Zeke: Well, it's just the fact that forgetting things at all is painful. Especially important things that other people don't have trouble with.
Me: I wonder did he gained memories back when he got to the lifestream? As such emet and hyth's memory were restored. How does it work with elidibus?
Zeke: His return wasn't organic, so there are still a lot of holes. He returned very slowly, bit by bit, and the act of creating Zodiark but then removing himself damaged his soul a lot. I truly believe that he'll have everything back someday, but it might take centuries for all the cracks to heal.
Me: Ah so i was right with the term soul memory loss i take it. So the memories of the soul that is damaged.
I posted some other things, but zeke didn’t reply anymore.
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Jan 31st
Me: I dunno what up with eli lately. He should have come over today, but he didn't. I miss him so much.
I want to snuggle with him in bed. And to just be with him. I miss my husband.
Zio: Sorry I'm being quiet. Taking a little break from social media for a bit in preparation for a big meditation attempt this weekend. See if I can get some answers.
Me: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Zio: Hopefully he visits soon >:
Me: yeah. ..... i miss him. i dont know what going on with our connection either. i used to connect with him every morning. but now i either don't get a reaction at all or the spirit guide that is housing in my body pillow acts up.
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Dreams of January
Jan 1st
I was dreaming that I was reading the Bible and Hydaelyn and Zodiark were being mentioned. Afterwards I was reading it online with info that 1 on 1 matched with the ancients on Etheirys. it was so much that i only remembered 2 things. the female birth rate was 1/8 but because the birth rate was so low it was more like 1/16. and the real name of Elpis would be Epsis. I wrote this down as a note in that dream and said it to my ex. I don't remember the rest, unfortunately.
Additional note: I don’t think that that low birth rate of females is that low. The low birth rate was true, but I don’t think it affected the gender. And about Elpis I never actually bothered to ask if Epsis was the real name. could be, but if you name the in-game name they know what you mean anyway.
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Second dream about halmarut
Well even though the dream was pretty long, it was only the end of it that I met Halmarut. The majority of the dream was renovating a house with my family and I was with a Chinese girl who apparently had special power laying dormant. After getting some repairing stuff that I collected from my dad and brought them to my ex in the other room. That Chinese girl appeared again.
we walked chatting towards the room where my dad was working, there on the landing was a high terrarium with plants in it. and on the inside a vinyl sticker of Halmarut's Glyph.
girl: whose is that?
me: that's from Halmarut
girl: ugh ( disgust) the last time he looked like a vampire plant.
me: is he there then?
girl: yes in the attic
me: I want to see that.
I went up the stairs to my right and spontaneously wore black robes. I was mentally prepared to start talking to a plant. when I came upstairs, the attic was full of plants. Halmarut emerged from among the plants in black robes, without a mask.
me: oh luckily he doesn't look like a vampire plant.
H: hello
he looked like a young Indian man about 25 years of age.
me: hello, are you Halmarut?
H: yes, and I understood that you are Azem, but you don't look like that?
me: well I...(I wanted to explain that I am the new one but my robes suddenly stuck to my mouth) ...just a moment.
I pulled the robes off my mouth and chin and their skin hung down.
H: oh (looked anxiously) that's not good.
I couldn't talk anymore and woke up.
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Jan 8th
the dream started vaguely about that (far in the future) there was a Fairyland amusement park named “Levieur”. I went there with group transport in a bus. when we were almost there I saw the name. then a younger Aphinaud who was sitting before me spoke to me.
he was not older than 10-12
a: are we there?
me: oh? Levieur is similar to Leveilleur, but simplified over the years. this means your family still exists. so i think so.
when we were there young alphi had gone elsewhere. i had some fuzzy stuff there but no fairys lol.
later i flew out looking for something outside the park. I went the wrong way and went back. but then I shared the body with Fandaniel I think. body joined it seemed. (I'll just call it "we" now). we flew over a big wall, looked like Garlemald like now that I think about it. we arrived at a building guarded by beast tribe dragons walking on their hind legs. what they guarded were special glowing eggs. we went to the nest and picked up the biggest one.
the egg was warm. we were spotted and flew away. the egg was quite heavy so we couldn't fly very fast. but managed to escape.
me: it still needs to hatch, let's keep it warm.
then the dream switched that we were on a dead planet and you saw that letter as in the game appear coolly (in-game as you enter a new area) "dead planet"
only fandaniel's mind took over for a moment and released energy from the egg that turned into primals.
me: why are you releasing primals on a dead planet? why not planet earth if we get magic back with that?
we had the egg, fandaniel took over again, but with my voice.
F: Now only Zodiark and Hydaelyn.
but they didn't come out.
then I was my full self again. and went to fight primals. it took quite a while to make an energy ball, but was visible for a change. papalymo was there too, while he could attack faster, but mine were stronger when given the chance. Then I could 1 shot a primal.
papalymo made sure I could recharge. I made 2 energy balls which I later merged into 1 and launched it to a primal. I don't know which one, ifrit I believe. but then the primals were turned into legendary pokemon, i kept attacking them. That fight lasted for a while and eventually I woke up.
was this the future of etheirys? or a shard story like with Emet almost a year ago ( wanderer of shards)? or a mix maybe, who knows
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January 22nd
This dream was not the real elidibus (because he changed into some random old dude after a few sentences. But the entity said it was dangerous to time travel constantly because it created to many time loopholes. Which I did a lot before this part.
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Jan 25th
so i was doing something, had powers of roadrunner and a tiger (lol)
I don't remember what happened earlier in the dream. (thought to have found eli but wasn't the real one)
anyway, I ran down the shopping street. I felt like a super-fast tiger, the idea of roadrunner and Incineroar (pokemon) went through my mind.
me: wait (still running) how's that cartoon again? El Tigre? I turned the corner to another shopping street. after a bit of running, I saw eli standing in a shop-like space on the left. and saw eli talking to someone. I stopped and he beckoned me with his chin up, like "come here". I then walked up to him and saw his ascian mask in all its glory, every detail was visible including his ascian robes.
eli: how do you think i got these back on?
me: oh come here you ( gave him a quick kiss)
and then I lifted his mask off his head and sure enough, silver hair.
(kinda like Dante from devil may cry)
me: absolutely gorgeous -
(his hair looked a little weirdly fluffy in the front. It looked like it was burned).
- what have you done with your hair? burned?
eli: yes think so.
he looked somewhat ashamed with such a faint smile of embarrassment.
me: you shouldn't do that!
and then I woke up.
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Jan 26th
me and some (apparently) friends visited the past but seemed to be a mix-up of Etheyrys and Earth. because the environment was Earth but everything was much bigger it seemed, and the people like now. but Hyth and Emet were there.
so we arrived and were greeted by Hyth. he knew me i thought.
Unfortunately, some pieces are missing here.
I was on a highway with a bike path. I saw the stones that were much bigger. we were on the bike path (since I saw the red stones).
hyth: where do you come from?
me: from the future
hyth: oh, how does it look like over there?
me: it looks exactly the same as here.
hyth: that's very interesting to know.
we continued on towards what looked like my father's old carpentry. but bigger. the rest who were with me introduced themselves to Hyth. One of those friends was called Vanessa. this is where I thought Emet came in too. but as Solus in ascian robes (so no white hair elpis version).
now I don't know if a certain event with aggressive lighting happened before this dream or is coming now.
thunderstorm part
me and some friend were trying to save our asses by some aggressive thunderstorms that were being controlled. whoever it was, it tried to kill or harm us. but not just me, but everyone that was there. at the same moment, i tried to be a lightning rod. but Vanessa ran to me with the rest with a pikachu
V: no don't do it it's way too strong.
me: ok never mind then.
then i went back into the past again where hyth and emet, me and the rest had forgotten. everyone went along from the start but there were some that ended up elsewhere. me and Vanessa were together. in about the same location where this dream began. I turned around.
me: there's hyth, see if he can remember us.
I walked towards him
me: Hytholoaeus!
he turned around. (his memory was erased that we had ever met before).
V: can you remember us?
Hyth looked shocked for a moment but then his face softened and smiled and remembered
hyth: Vanessa
by seeing us again it triggered to get that memory back that was erased.
it turned dark and Emet in ascian robes arrived. we walked to the sidewalk. and Emet had a grudge against cars for some reason.
Here I realized he supposed to have white hair because this is the past.
Me: aren’t you supposed to have white hair?
Then he fingersnapped a few times at 2 cars passing by. He wanted them to crash.
Me: what are you doing?
He said nothing but gave that typical bad guy look straight face. Waiting for a disaster to happen to seek joy of it.
I was waiting for it to hear the cars crash, but that didn’t happen it seems.
Me: that’s a typical bad guy face.
Emet: I haven’t the foggiest idea what you are talking about, are you saying I am some evil man?
Me: (shoulder pads) hahaha you will learn later.
He walked away from me for a few steps, he sighed
Me: where are my friends?
Hyth: they will come shortly.
Emet still didn’t remember us. Or maybe refused to? He had that ignoring face he had when you just visit Elpis and doesn’t want to admit he recognizes you.
Then it was midday again. And the aggressive thunderstorms came back.
Me: oh no.
Now my friend arrived running.
Me: ah there you are!
They had pokemon with them. I saw a luxray at least.
Then the lightning struck close to us creating a roller coaster with Pikachu and zekrom on it as decoration statues. But the roller coaster looked so wild that I preferred not to go.
Friend: must we rive this thing? To make the storm stop?!
Me: apparently
Friend: fine I will go.
Hyth: I will go too ( + other friends)
But Vanessa was so scared and started to cry.
Me: it has to be done. Though I do prefer not to go.
I placed my hand on her shoulder and felt her fear.
Me: I will stay with you, I rather don’t go either
I noticed hyth looking angry at that thing and then I woke up.
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That was the January chapter. Next month meeting of Eli’s son (yes son of eli and me) and asked various questions