May 1st
something i grabbed from the Lorelines podcast which is very interesting:
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May 4th
I was playing ffrk again Managed to get an item again by focusing on it. On first try
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May 5th
I came across this on quora
But since i got eli over i immediately asked if that last part of the answer was true.
It came to this via asking questions.
The fake hells are mostly fake.
But the described “fake” heavens are real heavens. There is only like max of 1% that the "fake heaven" is actually fake.
And the fake hells can be max for 40% real. i.o.w 60% of it is actual fake.
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May 7th
Dm’s with zeke
Me: Can i talk about a dream i had this morning?
Elidibus was fighting against something as WoL. Sometimes it switched to that i was controlling him like an NPC instance. After the battle, i heard him telepathically saying (without seeing him)" thank you for forestalling our freedom"
But within that dream" forestalling" meant, that i helped to keep their freedom longer instead.
If you got any interpretations please tell me.
Zeke: Are you very sure that's what he meant by forestalling?
Me: The message that actually came across in that dream was " ty for helping us to keep our freedom".
But the words usage is weird.
What do you think?
As far as i know that within dreams is that what you feel or get through (through your mind) is the real thing even if something else is said. It not only in dreams though. It happened for real once back in 5.3....
The dream with the roller blinds.
Me asking at the end " weren't those already paid?" > Woke up> my ex answered with eli's voice while deep asleep "yes those are already paid"
But the message that came across was " i am ok, don't worry"
So given this info what do you think about this dream i had today?
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May 8th
Zeke: What were you (Or he, actually) fighting in the dream? That may be important.
Me: Well that i didn't see...... That's the strangest thing. Only a shade? It was dark on the background.
Maybe not allowed to see it? Maybe it has to do with the pandemonium raids? Maybe we will see him fighting for a bit. Like we saw with Gaia. Do you have any input further on this?
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never received a reply back. I only came to known via elidibus that he said something differently as I asked questions that day since he was over. My head turned it into something else, but the underlying meaning that I indeed helped them was the actual message. Though it seemed the WOL Eli in that dream wasn’t eli himself, but he did said that message.
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May 9th
Dreams keep up coming on various subjects, yesterday i was in the 5D with angels and 1 looked like Estinien .
This morning it was about venat, but without her in it.
Apparently i was in her house as a friend of her said so.
Then i had a false awakening and the alarm of my phone went off playing Flow. (And i never had that one before as an alarm)
i sung the song along with the piece of lyrics i know.
Is this message from her that she hears me? The fact that that song was playing in my dreams does sound as a message.
The marked red is what i sung along.
(I see i forgot to mark "heart" after unbeathing.
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Dm’s with Zio:
She contacted me to give an update on her situation and health. And asked how I was doing
But I didn’t replied until way later that day.
Me: If i was showed online in the time you messaged me, then i was my ex at my pc. I was in bed catching up some sleep.
Sorry if that made you watch the screen for an answer.
If you are able please read the dream i had this morning.
Maybe you agree with it or not. Let me know your interpretation.
For the rest, i am fine ty.
zio replied but I will leave out the first part which was about her health.
zio: as for your dream, it could be a sign? Maybe ask for more messages from her.
The chat went further on me trying to come up with solutions of things to try out that could help her.
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May 10th
Nier reincarnation info about Venat I found on twitter
“nier further confirming that Venat forced mankind to revert to a prehistoric state and therefore the unsundered just had to sit and watch as mankind re-evolved only to invent violence and hate”
If this continues to put ffxiv story or let say forgotten info put into other games. I was right that they go for multiple media to tell their story.
Here there collab story on YT: https://youtu.be/tVZh6oZziwQ
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May 11th
Dm’s with Jezzah
1 day after her stream of 3hours watching how she progressed in Elpis.
Me: How is the connection with emet going?
Jezzah: It's getting stronger the more I play.
Me: awesome!
Jezzah: Elidibus was my very first Ex raid clear when he was relevant. I want to thank him for helping me get over my Raid Anxiety
Me: hahahah he did?
Jezzah: yup. After clearing him so many times I feel more confident. I just need a steady group.
Me: nice
Jezzah: Tell him I said "Thank you for letting me kick your ass so many times. I feel more confident as a raider.". Idk how I am gonna get through Hades Ex
Me: hahah if i recall it when he is here again i will tell him.
Jezzah: I'll remind you lol
Me: So according to eli's agenda he would come over tomorrow the entire day.
But he has the habit of not coming over when i got things to do. Tomorrow my mom would come over aswell to help with the house.
Knowing elidibus he would only stay very shortly or not at all.
Guess what, my mom canceled it because a new sofa was being delivered tomorrow and they didn't gave her a time frame aside from the entire day lol.
A sign he will come over tomorrow I guess? XD.
Jezzah: Tell hem what I said tomorrow
Me: Yeah i will
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May 12th
So back in dec 31st 2020 i had a vision and later a talk with Estinien being 54yo.
I have been calculating if this was Etheirys age or earth.
And it is Etheirys years.
Back then the events of shadowbringers/ew he was 34. And on earth they were 26 earth years into the future of the game. (Now its 27,5, because no timeskip)
But Etheirys and earth have about 103 days difference each year.
So i multiplied that with years that is being to short for Etheirys years.
34+26 earth years =60
But in Etheirys years he is younger.
The total days coming to short are 2665/468= 5.69 (5.7) years
Subtract that from 60 and you got 54,3 yo.
This just validated his age and the info about the the hours/days and years from Etheirys.
Even with the 1 hour difference each day they got (25h). I get 5.91
Which means he recently became 54 when i met him back then.
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Dm’s with jezzah
Me: eli is over. And he watched over many people with that raid. He doesn't Remember specifically you who he helped/encouraged.
But i said to him you are grateful.
He appreciates it.
Jezzah: Give him a hug for me, am now passing out again. Good night
(later that day)
Me: So my ex wanted to show me a vid of the stupid new star wars movie. With how ridiculous the fighting scene are.
I watched the entire thing lol.
Elidibus laughed even about it lol
“FIGHT SCENE AUTOPSY Star Wars, RISE OF SKYWALKER - Rey vs Kylo”
Jezzah: Yeah, I don't watch the new stuff anymore. I stopped enjoying SW when Disney acquired them.
Me: yeah ikr. but eli had some laughs lol. and he enjoyed the ones to show how it is done correctly. If you got questions for elidibus feel free to ask. If you have one then you got about 3h left before i go to bed > with him :P
Jezzah: Not really if he doesn't know about Hades and his "misspent" youth
Me: No he doesn't he was too young.
Eli is like 10y younger then emet.
And memory loss doesn't help either
jezzah: true
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So today was nice. in about 30 min will be trying to connect with our son Quilitus. to check if he can come over, as far i came to know he is able. afterwards i will be meditating with elidibus.
but for now i will tell the little things of today.
i want to meet venat very badly but he feel uneasy to see venat. so he prefers not to go with me. BUT i told him that no matter what he did back then would bother her. she would be happy to see him because she is our mom. she wants to know how you are doing. and he cried. that was so beautiful. he is a bit less uneasy about it now but is not ready for it yet.
maybe i will recall other things while writing, but for now. sometime later today we needed to do stuff, go to our local farmer for supplies, and went towards some stores and grocery store. he stayed with my the entire time. when i took a bite of the cheese made by the farmer. i asked eli to body join to taste the cheese. he liked it!. funny enough when i asked i felt like the placed his head in mine, exactly where his mouth and mine was. i could feel some spiritual energy in the form of my mounth , iow his.
during the car rides, my ex talking about stuff and he knows eli is listening, which is true. eli knows what could help for my ex for his problems. but alas i can't here eli speaking. when i said that i gained a shrug motion from him. XD.
i asked about the gathering items again. he will try more.
And i asked about that person who contacted me through my weblog.
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May 13th
Funny enough that last thing happened last night. She replied. But i find it strange she said her body is of no consequence. and have no memories of me.
Later that day
wtf i started up the pc for work, but subconsciously started up FFXIV. as soon as i pressed play is was like "wtf am i doing i need to work" XD
I also somewhere that day I notified zio about the person who contacted me through my weblog.
Me: What do you think?
( I want to make a small disclaimer here, if its truly private info then I wont share it public like this. for instance this person has told literally nothing about themselves. If they would, I will not blandly post just like that, I will ask first.)
Zio: Hm. Its weird they say they are Elidibus but have no memory of you.
I guess it's ultimately up to if you FEEL they are being honest. You know Elidibus better than anyone
Me: Yeah true. Thanks for your input.
As my reply to her says i find this odd.
I think this person might be in contact with elidibus because i asked yesterday again about this person.
But i think this person thinks she is always connected to him and speaks for him always. And that isn't true.
Zio: Definitely doesn't sound true at all.
Me: yeah
Zio: She might get bits and pieces from him but it's definitely not always. You're his partner so you would be able to tell.
Me: Yeah. As far i could ask , which i did again yesterday. He needs to be around for actual contact, or chooses to connect like with Zeke and share memories. And him being a work a holic i very much doubt he visits this person often.
This person sounds like “it happened a few times and so thinks she is always him”.
Even zeke said when first met. They had the same but immediately said he speaks through them and not the they are him. Which hold definitely more value.
And i trust zeke because of the shared memories.
Sadly zeke isn't much busy with the spiritual path. And i notice it clearly. They haven't talked about any elidibus encounter sorta say since zeke shared that of pandemonium and that tree back in January. It so sad. I hope zeke gets back into meditation some day.
Zio: I haven't talked to them in a couple of months, so I just hope if they are going through something they are doing alright. I don't know if this person is delusional or just...trying to impress you.
But Elidibus has a very important role in the convocation, and like you said, he's a workaholic.
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But somehow Elidibus kept replying “yes” to me when I asked if he is truly in contact with this person. But only when he is nearby at that person. So I guess this person needs to learn how to filter which entity is speaking through them? I don’t know what the case is. I only know its not always elidibus speaking via her.
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May 16th
Lol last attempt (of 4) on my gems focusing on this item saying "Sync soul break Porom" and tada
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May 17th
So i had eli over yesterday for well 1,5h only. He was 1,5h too late dammit.
But i asked him to grant my spirit guide Linala permission/the ability to contact him. So she can forward the connection to me.
I just tried that. And i think it worked? According to her it was elidibus.
He will be away for 16 days so i will try out more often.
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May 19th
so with elidibus's last visit on the 16th i asked him if he could grant my spirit guide the permission to contact him when i try to contact elidibus telepathically. because she wasn't able at first. i told eli that i particularly don't got any imposters left and Linala is a very good verification method to tell if the "real"elidibus is around.
and so he did grant her the permission as thus far i tried 2 times now. and it worked. i hope via this method it will stay without any trouble.
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May 24th
Venat as angel.
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Bit Nsfw:
Getting physically banged by my ex and telepathic sex with eli at the same time is so focking intense.
When i asked my spiritguide to contact elidibus to connect with me and if possible for telepathic sex (since he is away for a while) he didn't hesitate lol, guess he needed it xD.
He didn't mind my ex joined in. After my ex was done, eli had the biggest long orgasm i haven't felt in a while. It was so good .
~end of nsfw
Afterwards after some small talk i needed to log off of the connection to get myself ready for an appointment. By saying goodbyes, as a result i needed spontaneously cry while i felt nothing beforehand aside from happiness and contentment. He didn't wanted to disconnect yet. It were his emotions.
So he stayed for 15min, before i really needed to log off. Atm we said final goodbyes, just instantly after my mom called. So perfect timing i guess?
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May 26th
Interesting dream about my other sister.in RL she has a problem that when she tilts her head downward, or even laying down she get nauseous and dizzy.
I had a dream that she had some kind of disease that literally allowed you to see the inside of her neck. Everything was transparent. I saw her cervical vertebrae, blood vessels and nerves. Her skin and muscles were there but were transparent so to speak.
So I wonder if her problem might be in her neck.
So i told her that, and she will give me an update if its true of not.
The doctor never checked her neck so i wonder if this was a true vision or not.
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May 27th
he did it, the entire gathering set of lvl60 sold.
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May 30th
Dm’s with TK
Me: Do you got any news on lahabrea?
I haven't spoken or seen him since EW i believe?! I hope he is ok though...
Tk: Last time I heard from him he was okay but said he was busy a bit with something
Me: Oh? When was that?
Tk: Like a week or two ago
Me: Oh interesting.
So did you had a chance to talk with him more then just that?
Tk: Not too much but a little bit
Me: What did you asked or what did he told you?
Tk: One thing he said he thought the new instance with him in ARR was great cause he actually kicks your ass for a bit lol
Me: LOL. Do you also speak personal matters with him?
If you are willing to tell me that..., That is...
I won't put it into my story if you find it too personal
Tk: Ill type some things when I'm done. I'm done in an hour
Me: Did lahabrea said anything about elidibus. Or that eli told him to go towards you?
Tk: He said eli said to go towards
Me: Yeah xD.i asked that like in April or so already. But recently again iirc.
(TK has ALLOT to write down its seemed. I had hoped to receive her journal at the end of june, but alas. I hope I will receive it soon.)
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May 31st
Fabs: I met emet in my dream he said something that feels important but was cut off by my alarm
Me: Fuck those alarms!
Fabs: “If she knew”
“She wouldnt have”
“She wouldnt have...”
Its my fault set it 5 min earlier today.
Me: shit. What feeling did you got who it was about? Because usually someone pops into your mind if it isn't mentioned yet.
(my own first thought was azem because of the she and emet saying it, then Fabs wrote the particularly the same)
Fabs: My first thought was azem but not sure on the gender of it
Me: Well a woman lol.
Current incarnation azem is male
Defector azem was a woman
Fabs: Maybe its her then. I know in the dream he wanted to speak to me directly since i at first tried to walk off since i was in a hurry
Me: The hurry for the alarm lol
Fabs: I wonder if he knew my normal alarms and tried to fit it in just before it would normally go off.
Me: Yeah that the same that came into my mind aswell when you wrote that. If you ever get the chance to ask who it was. Or ask to finish what he was starting. Then please do it.
Fabs: I will
Me: Azem came to my mind aswell.
But a secondary thought came; which one? What feeling did you got about that?
The defector?
Fabs: Was Venat for me
Me: Oh interesting. Seriously? Why weren't you sure about the gender then?
Fabs: He said “she” i just couldnt remember the gender of azem.
Me: Strange, though it would make sense its venat.
If she knew what was going to happen. Then she probably didn't do it
Because that traveling to the past didn't happen 12k years ago. It was only added to the memory afterwards when it did happen
Because they know both.
As far elidibus could answer me.
Fabs: Maybe. My first intuition is azem
Me: Same story though but with different things. she didn't knew back then.
Fabs: yeah
Me: It's definitely something that she (in this case he now) knows now.
Fabs: yeah
Me: Also how did emet looked like?
Ancient or solus or ascian?
Fabs: Ascian clothing but with solus face.
Me: Ah default appearance
Fabs: Well he did spend years sculpting that face i would want to use it
Me: yeah
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Later that day however I wanted to ask Zeke how they are doing, but to my surprise they blocked me.
and i asked grian (partner of zeke) why and what the reason was and he immediately blocked me. what the hells did i do? the last reply from zeke was on May 8th.
i am completely clueless on what i did wrong????? the last time i messaged them was on may 16th to say the newest chapter was out.
Even today halfway July 2022 I am still clueless on what I did wrong.
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Dreams of May
May 1st
the dream was already busy with other things until I spontaneously met someone who was dressed as corrupted Fandaniel but not bad. I think it was Hermes himself. yes sounds strange i know but it was Hermes's voice. he read quotes that were on a sticky note. they were for a theater piece. until the last one was about a lock mechanism from an old-fashioned gun that was said to belong to the "evil" fandaniel.
me: what do I have to do with that?
H: here read for yourself
as I read that, that same lock was on the table next to us.
me: can you give it to me?
Hermes gave it to me
I felt the energy that was trapped in that lock and it wanted to come out.
me: shit! he's in there!
I threw that lock back on the table and we ran for our lives (afraid of being possessed by him). somehow we jumped through cracks in wooden houses. while we kept an eye on the spot where Fandaniel was.
at one point I looked to the right and saw a shade in the distance. and we are certainly talking from a KM away. he was standing on a tall building.
then i got to see a quick scene that Hermes had escaped and gone into another body that looked like a scizor (pokemon)
and I saw 2 drawn figures that should represent him and me and his got destroyed
And he said:
H: i had to unmake myself, he won't pick a woman
I didn't have the chance to realize that he actually killed himself to save me.
me: what?
then i woke up
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May 6th
in this dream I was apparently in the past, since my dad apparently had an old-fashioned 70's van. (which is weird already since he is from 1958 and didn't got his driver license until i was 6-7 yo, so 1993/94)
anyways as soon as my dad disappeared from view my ex appeard. he gave me a black leather jacket for the coming rain. and put it on me. we looked around and saw Emet standing. I saw him from the back. he noticed me and walked towards me.
Emet: that's a very well done mobile phone you got there.
but I didn't have a cell phone with me. instead I looked at what he pointed to and it was a wayyyy to modern and expensive watch that I was wearing. (futuristic kind of thing).
me: oh yes
Emet: it doesn't go so well with this jacket. i would consider taking it off.
and he walked further ahead. I saw that he was wearing simple summer clothes. a beige turtleneck shirt and sand-colored pants.
me: ah fack it.
I took off the coat and held the coat and walked over to him.
I don't know what exactly happened but suddenly someone came and acted retarded and I threw that heavy leather jacket in his face to make him come to his senses.
me: AH SHUT UP!!!!
my ex took over and emet came over to check what was going on. he stopped right next to me, so close I could touch him with my head.
me: oh? and I leaned my head against his upper arm > hmmm
with a slight loving feeling.
My ex was still arguing with the one who caused a rampage and I woke up.
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May 7th
Aside from the one already mentioned on that date I had one before that one.
I was wearing elpis robes and dancing. the robes felt nice and let it sway in the wind by spinning them around.
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May 8th
5th dimension dream
so the story would be about a girl who would have entered the 5th dimension while awake or at least she was in a trance right in front of the gate but couldn't get in but i was there! I saw her standing in trans with a male angel by her side. he did something that allowed her to pass.
I said to another angel who flew next to me: he put her to sleep or she wouldn't be able to get through it.
A: I think so too.
then we were in a sort of classroom. 1 angel explained something. I sat next to that girl and explained how she got here. because of this I do not know what the angel said.
me: you're sleeping, otherwise you can't come here.
girl: oh really?
then it went somewhere else for a while and this dream continued later. once back in that dream i heard 2 angels outside talking loudly. I was still in the room and looked outside to see where they were.
A1: The gate is open, she can go back home.
A2: We have to hurry or it will be closed again.
me: hmm?
I went out flying. they opened the girl and took her to the gate in some kind of flying car. she had to go back because she didn't belong here. (this is what they said). another angel flew with me. I flew closer to those who wanted to bring that girl back.
A3: You're not leaving now, are you?
me: no i just want to look closer, i still have plenty to do here.
when they got the girl through I turned and flew back to the building.
I saw that the angel who was with me resembled Estinien in white clothes. in greek style and large white wings.
me: i'm not going back yet don't worry
A3: okay.
i entered the building and heard those 2 others bringing that girl back screaming in panic "we forgot Xio (my sister's alias name for my story), get her quick"
me: Xio? what is she doing here?
then i woke up
(Xio is the one who did that channeling for elidibus in Dec 2020)
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May 11th
I don't know exactly how this happened but someone was possessed by an ascian. and that person tried to resist mentally.
me: omg there's an ascian in him.
So this turned out to be an in-game story to come.
me: wait this has yet to happen in the game but which ascian is this?
the ascian went out of that person's body and showed himself. first without a mask. he resembled a white Erichthonios.
me: ok (looked aside for a moment and then back again at the ascian), but what mask does he have?
and saw his mask appear.
I quickly thought in my head who this was.
me: * it's not Altima or Deudalaphon, it's not Halmarut either (he's Indian). his mask looks like Nabriales's but it's not him.* then it must be Pashtarot.
Then the mask disappeared and replaced his black elpis robes with knight armor, with a helmet and a sword icon on his chest.
me: oh "knight of order and justice" it's Pashtarot!
P: come battle with me!.
but then the dream turned to something else.
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May 17th
Another dream that before I fall asleep I said "Fandaniel/ Hermes do you want to tell me something?"
only this dream was sooo long I can't remember a word. but he changed a lot from Ashai's body to Hermes and vice versa.
I can at least vaguely remember talking about how much he changed as a soul being. and loved flamboyant clothes since Amon.
he had changed so much that there was little left of his ancient self.
I think vague theories were also invented, but I can't remember which ones exactly. at least no theories known to me IRL.
in any case he was really a man and not a woman, this was apparently a theory in that dream.
I now remember that in between I half woke up a few times and turned around but an energy tugged at me. and then asked again "hermes? do you want to tell me something more?"
the third time i think i said "Hermes (hmpf) i know you are there (and something else)". My soul was being pulled hard. since I fell asleep very quickly I think he was trying to get my astral self out and to talk. no ill intent. (please take into account I was half in trance when I said those things, so no control)
I hope he can come in a more lucid dream next time so I can remember it all.
Sorry Hermes :s
Please look forward to the next chapter as TK is back on track with her connection with lahabrea!.