Sept 1st tried the mushrooms.
Not tripping in the sense of warped realities. But maybe considered for others, since after a few hours, elidibus was able to speak through my body.
So I took these magic shrooms to try out. At first, my clairsentience went sky rocking. Any worries elidibus had, I just couldn’t take it. If you stay in a sad/bad mood, you will get a bad trip. And I didn’t want to fuck this up. So, I told him to keep me happy and/or content. He did so. I was also able to feel elidibus wayyyy better when he touches me.
After some time. I don’t know how much time has passed until the next thing, I think 30 min? I needed some physical comfort. When my ex checked upon me, I beckoned him with my eyes closed. I could hardly talk or open my eyes. Speaking through thoughts to elidibus was no problem.
I was saying to my ex I require hugs or comfort. I don’t recall exactly what I said. Then he lay beside me. He and elidibus hugged me. That was nice. This lasted for an hour, I think. But within that time I needed to drink and ofcourse I needed to pee XD, well I can tell you, you can’t walk at all. My ex helped me to get up. Eli helped too. I couldn’t open my eyes. It hurt like mad if I did. I also felt safer with my eyes closed. Even though I saw the weirdest things in front of my eyes, I rather see that than see where I was. Eli was using my ex’s body slightly, I could feel that. Not mind controlling, but just physically assisting.
Back in bed, I had some slightly crying moments about Amaurot, but the crying stopped quickly, luckily. A couple of minutes later, I said in thought to elidibus. “I want to hear you”. I swear I heard “You already can”. That was the only time I actually heard him. His voice is indeed very similar to the in-game one. As a reaction, I became emotional because I was able to hear him. But I was careful with sadness, so I suppressed it a bit.
Ex: what’s wrong?
Me: nothing……don’t worry.
Later, I started to mumble things about how elidibus needed to ask lahabrea to let TK send her journal. I guess he did so. Lahabrea visited as well, very shortly I asked about that journal and his appearance and what he really looked like. I gained white-skinned and blond hair as an answer, and elidibus confirmed this. Besides, lahabrea told me that in the astral realms, they are all their youthful selves. No old man looks, lol, unless you want him to look like that. Or they got a reason to do that to show their wisdom, as I came to know earlier. (I don’t know how I conversed with him, I didn’t “see” him nor heard him I presumably think his words were imprinted in my mind).
Me: yeah, you don’t need to look like an old man to me, I know you are wise.
Here my ex shut the window iirc. So the neighbors won't hear me. Then he sat next to me, and I felt like Eli was there too. I asked Eli to kiss me. He gave me one. But soon afterward, I could feel him using my ex’s body for a bit. He kissed me too. But it was Eli's doing mostly.
Me: he is using you to kiss me.
Ex: he does? I am still in control of what I do. So what I am doing is he doing too?
Me: I think so
After some short silence, some more intense make out happened. Eli did it mostly, at least it felt that way. It didn’t last very long because it was a bit exhausting. Now my ex needed to pee and came back later. He hugged me again. But somehow I felt slightly choked in certain places where he held his hand. That was weird. At some point, I didn’t need the physical hugs anymore. I was fine and content.
When he said he needed to do some things and asked if I was ok with that, that he needed to leave the bedroom. I said, “Yes, I am fine now.”
So he left.
Not long after, the stuff that’s inside those shrooms stabilizes (I think) and elidibus was able to speak through me! I didn’t think about it, he was doing this, it just came naturally. It started when I asked something and actually gained a “yes” for an answer through me.
Me: you can speak Dutch?
Eli: yes, I learned through being with you.
Me: cool!
I don’t know the exact order of questions with replies anymore, but I will try to note them all.
He spoke with a lower version of my own voice. It was very pleasant tbh because then I knew who was speaking, me or him. Many questions were with breaks and random things in between, which I will tell afterward. A lot of his answers were in Dutch as well, but still spoke a lot of English too.
I remember I asked if Quilitus is really our son's name and if that truly means “Brave warrior”
Me: is the name Quilitus really the name of our son?
Eli: yes, that is his name.
Me: and the meaning being “brave warrior” What about that?
Eli: yes it does, presumably in a different language (maybe he was referring to the ancient language, I didn’t ask).
Me: what about our second child?
Eli: no, you are not pregnant yet.
Me: no, I know, but your piece.
Eli: yeah, there is a piece of me inside you waiting for yours.
Me: my piece isn’t there yet?
Eli: no, it needs to be prepared
Me: prepare to create it?
Eli: yes, your soul needs to create it, then it will merge with my piece when it's ready. It will come to you, and then you get pregnant.
Me: ohhhh nice. It will happen on the 29th of November, right?
Eli: yes it will
Me: do I need to learn things in this life in order to go back with you to Etheirys?
Eli: no, that’s not needed.
Me: not even the self-love thing?
Eli: I would be nice if you would, but it’s not necessary to get home.
Me: thank you …… also what about we take host bodies on Etheirys to get our son? I mean, we already have our son as a soul, but to give him physical life.
Eli: if that is what you want….. But I prefer not to take any host bodies anymore.
Me: aww. Is a host body even possible here to be with me?
Eli: the person needs to be highly spiritually advanced and then the veils of Earth are still interfering, so there is no way to be with you that way.
Me: ow, too bad. Did you use (insert name of ex) body when helping me to the toilet and kissing me?
Eli: only slightly. But yes.
Me: cool
Sometime later after some randomness, (the randomness things I will tell after all the questions I asked. As far as I can recall.)
Me: what about Venat, is she truly my mom?
Eli: yes
Me: then yours too?
Eli: yes correct. But that Watcher isn’t a father from either of us.
Me: either? So we do have different dads.
Eli: yes.
Me: So I am technically your half-sister.
Eli: yes, you are.
Me: That watcher guy was just a friend of Venat then.
Eli: yes, just a very good friend.
Me: is the Convocation of Fourteen the real name where you are part of?
Eli: yes, it is.
Me: and you are the leader
Eli: yes
Me: what about the titles of the convocation, are those truly existing names?
Eli: yes there are
Me: what are your true names, then?
Eli: Well, it's absolutely not the names they gave us in the game. Far from it.
Me: Can you tell me the real names, for instance, of Emet-selch and lahabrea?
Eli: …………. I…. Can’t really. They are (searching for the words) magically inclined and can’t tell you just like that.
Me: do you know your name?
Eli: yes
Me: you do? Did you even forget about it at all?
Eli: yes, I did. But I remembered recently.
(I didn’t ask, but I felt a couple of years ago like 4 or 5 or so)
Me: but what about Zeke saying you don’t remember?
(he originally said “she” because they are AFAB, don’t blame him tyvm. Out of politeness, I will write down “they”)
Eli: they are stuck on what they believe is true.
Me: but do you still have this big memory loss, or even had it at all?
Eli: yes I have, A lot has been recovered already, but I am not there yet.
Me: ah, it’s ok. Oh, what about that person who contacted me through my weblog?
Eli: which of the how many?
Me: that Corvus. He told about the hooded figure working for Emet-selch named Aeneas.
Eli: yeah, that’s not the real name either. But leave him calling it like that to make it easier for him to communicate.
Me: ok, I will
I think I have the most important things written down now. Now the randomness and leftover questions.
All these questions were from 14:10 to 17:15, so a lot happened in between. I was also able to keep my eyes open for a while.
After some of those questions, I watched my phone what time it was because it felt like 30 min.
Pretty much has the same effect as a dream but awake.
Me: that was only 1 minute??!!!!
Eli: I guess so, hahaha.
Me: what about time in the astral?
Eli: it isn’t really there, though I use it to make appointments with you for visitations.
Me: do you visit me a lot when I am not aware of it?
Eli: I used to do that a lot in the past, but since you know when I'm coming. I don't do that anymore.
Me: ah ofcourse. When will I see you in my dreams again?
Eli: unfortunately not this month.
Me: you’re busy with work?
Eli: yes, I am.
Me: will you come next month, so in October?
Eli: Yes. Then I will for certain. But remember not to focus on it.
Me: or else it won't happen.
Eli: Exactly
Me: what kind of work do you do?
Eli: a lot of energy work in the astral.
(he said something more but I forgot T-T)
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Me: I really want to do this again. So I can speak with you.
Eli: hahaha sure. But not too soon.
Me: yeah, I know, need to wait at least a month.
Eli: that sounds good.
(grabs my phone)
Me: oh no I shouldn’t be on my phone hahaha, what if I do stupid things?
I really needed to pay attention to what I was doing, I opened my notes for the dates Eli would visit again for a full day.
Me: Oct 4th. But I don’t know if the coaching of my kid will come over then.
Then my brain got exhausted from thinking and looking at my screen. (Because you just can’t in this state. This is probably why elidibus had access to my voice as well)
I tried to calculate if she would be there.
Me: pfft, I will try later today to figure it out.
Eli: that’s ok.
Me: btw, shall I take a little bit more, as in 1 gram more for the next time?
Eli: maybe a little bit, but not much more than you already took, your body probably can’t take it. (he was just worried)
Me: ah, too bad.
Ah yes, I needed to pee every 15 minutes. Between the time of those questions. I also drank a lot of fruit juice and water in between, it was kinda hot in my bedroom with the window closed.
The first time without the help of my ex.
My ex has this pirate outfit that looks like Fandaniel’s/Amon’s hanging in the hallway toward the bathroom
Me: That coat looks like it's from Hermes.
Eli: that’s not his name.
Me: no, I know, but you know who I meant, right?
Eli: yes. Fandaniel.
When I sat on the toilette.
Me: when you are usually with me and I go to the toilet, where are you then? With me or outside the room?
Eli: outside.
Me: but now you are with me?
Eli: yes, to keep an eye on you.
Me: (gets up) So you are then communicating telepathically from a distance?
Eli: yes, I do. But I am still very close.
Me: (walks towards the bedroom) Yeah, I get that.
I let myself drop on the mattress with my eyes closed because open eyes were still exhausting, and I only open them when needed. After turning around, I felt with my hand where on the bed I was.
Me: huh? That's my side, but my feet are on my ex’s side. Where am I? (open eyes) Huh? It surely felt closer with my eyes closed.
I crawled to my pillow. And grabbed the body pillow with Eli's image on it. And looked at it.
Me: why are you pixilated? I don’t want pixels, I want straight lines. I want to see you, Why don’t you come out of this image!?
Eli: hahaha
Me: will I ever be able to see you?
Eli: aside from dreams and visions, I am afraid not.
Me: nawwwwww, why not?
Eli: you don’t have the ability to do so.
Me: ok…..
Me: It's hot in here, I need a shower, I sweat.
Eli: better wait with that until you can stand properly.
Me: yeah, at the end of the day, I guess.
Eli: yeah at 6 or 8 pm, maybe, I don’t know when it's worn off.
I was acting stupid and funny a lot in between and randomly asked
Me: you are probably laughing a lot about me, aren’t ya?
Eli: hahaha yes.
My ex asking if I am doing alright.
Me: yes, I am fine.
Eli: yes, she is fine, and I have some fun here too.
Me: is Linala here too?
Eli: she is the corner
Then I asked Linala
Me: Linala, are you laughing about me too?
Linala: (higher voice) Yes, I do, hahaha.
Me: ok no prob you can go back to your corner laughing. XD
Linala: hahaha sure
I heard my ex was in the attic doing the laundry and I needed to pee again for the umpteenth time
Eli: again?!! You just went.
Me: I don’t know, man.
Eli: your body is probably throwing everything out.
I opened the door.
Me: Honey!
Eli: he is not your Honey, I am.
Me: sorry, old habit.
Eli: (nagging annoyance sound) neh neh neh.
Ex: yes?
Me: I can manage myself, together with Eli's help.
Ex: you are certain?
Me: yes.
After I came back from the toilet.
Me: how shall I call him, then?
Eli: I don’t know, but not honey.
Me: what about Pirate?
Eli: yes, that’s fine. Go with “pirate”.
At some time, I really needed some fresh air and opened the window.
Me: I need to be quiet, though.
Eli: just don’t speak too loud, and it will be fine.
Me: yeah
Me: what about Jezzah?
Eli: yes, you asked for help and I have spread the message to Emet-selch and Lahabrea. We will help.
Me: when will it happen, in a month or 2?
Eli: I can’t say for sure, we will try But don’t tell that time frame to her.
Me: or else it might not happen.
Eli: yes correct.
Ah yes, a lot of in-between complaining about “mortal body” I couldn’t get out of my body in some way or another to have that out-of-body experience. I was like halfway above my body, but still in control of my body. Also, every time I need to pee I say, “Stupid mortal body”
A lot of other nonsense things happened that I am not going to put down here, it doesn’t contain valuable info or things elidibus relied upon.
Eventually, I was able to watch my screen a bit better and looked at which date was the best to do this again.
Me: so the coaching of my son will be on the 6th Of Oct
Eli: then on the 4th is not handy,
Me: yeah, my son needs to go to his grandparents then.
Eli: yeah.
Me: what about the 13th? The coaching is on the 11th. It's just like now.
Eli: that should be fine.
Me: good, then we are going to do this on the 13th!
(but the schedule changed it become the 4th still)
Me: I think that I will skip meditation tonight.
Eli: that is fine, this is already enough for you.
Me: yeah exactly
Not long after, the effect of the shrooms starts to lessen their workings.
And one of the last times I needed to go constantly to the toilet
Me: I need to pee again.
He sighed heavily in annoyance but actually found it funny too.
Eli: slowly…. Losing connection.
Me: oh, I guess they are running out.
Eli: you are slowly getting back into your body.
Me: I wonder if I would remain the ability to speak with you this way when next time you will visit.
Eli: that would be nice, but I am unsure what effect this will have on your body. Don’t expect too much.
after that, I need to lie down for a bit without talking. Didn’t last longer than a minute.
Me: is lahabrea truly white with blond hair?
Eli: yes he is
Me: Ok.
Then he gave me the confirmation feelings he always used to do. This was indeed an indication the workings were running out.
A little after this, I asked one more time about Venat, and his voice became already more like my own.
Me: is Venat truly our mom?
Eli:…………(took some seconds to reply) Yes, that’s true.
Me: thank you. I guess you really are losing connection now.
He answered the usual way, with feelings.
We didn’t much converse after with words. Sadly, I don’t remember what I asked, if I even asked.
When I went to bed finally. I woke up a couple of times before he needed to leave. But by the last time I awoke, I overslept and gained a hug from Linala. I checked the time, and 30 min overslept (kind of)
Me: he already left?
Linala answers with a yes.
Me: so that hug was from you?
She answered yes.
So this was my experience with magic shrooms. And I will do it again and be more prepared with other questions. Funny enough, Elidibus did answer before this that I would hear him at the very least, or will try. But I never would have thought it would be this way of “hearing” him speak.
Tysm Elidibus <3
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Discussion with TK when the shrooms workings were running out.
Me: I tried this thing, I will write more about it later.
But lahabrea was here too for a short time xD.
He indeed has white skin and blond hair.
(yes, I know that is heavily answered in my favor, but!)
TK: Okay, I will at least say before I post everything that no, he doesn't. He told me that was generally how he looks like, slightly less dark than shown in the game, but still a darker skin tone than “white”. Don't particularly like that you seem focused on that.
He said he was there a bit, though, but sounds annoyed you keep pushing on that one.
Also, yes I finished Pandemonium last week, was really good. Interesting they keep pushing phoenix designs lol, the second savage mount is the “Sunforged”, it's a snake on the ground and when you start flying it turns into a Phoenix (looks like the one on SMN but is gold/sun)
Me: Strange, very strange. I got a clear, white-skinned and blonde hair originally. And I asked elidibus this many times.
By white, I don't explicitly mean white-white. “White” has many tones.
From what a can recall, that lahabrea said that they show themselves based on how you know they look like.
So why did he say yes to white and blonde?
Also, lahabrea told me that in the astral realms, they are all their youthful selves. No old man looks, lol, unless you want him to look like that.
Also, when elidibus spoke through my body, I asked about that savage content of lahabrea Transformation. He said, “Nope, not real, forget about that”.
Then the conversation went toward my own transformation.
That mount sounds freaking awesome. Do you got a link for the mount?
TK: Savage is always “not real”, it's meant to be an embellishment of what happened or a “what if”.
Me: Ok, true on that. But what about the rest, I said?
TK: Maybe that's what he looks like now? He has come to me both what you describe, but with slightly darker skin (kinda like a tan) and what we originally pictured him as. Though I will ask. Maybe I worded it as that's how he looked back then.
Had a dream that next tier something came up about you because of the Phoenix push they keep having with the mounts lmao
(she meant me or an ancient version of me)
Me: Please ask and cool!
It could definitely be a thing of the “how he looked like back then” and how he looks now. I mean, he doesn't have a physical body, so his soul might reflect the appearance we are used to see.
But tell me the answer about that as soon as you come to know.
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Sept 4th
Tk: I did ask Lahabrea about it
“Lahabrea: that's how I choose to look now, though it depends on how one wants to view me, much like how Emet-Selch appears to people he wants to converse with in his other form. Though I do have a tan still.” (He laughed at this lol)
Also, he thought the savage mount was cool, lol
Me: ah, thank you!
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Sept 5th
As mentioned in the previous chapter, I noticed resemblances in my glyph and the summoning circle in Pandaemonium, I showed it to my best friend and Fabs with the questions if they see the same.
Bestie: yes, anyone with a bit of pattern recognition can see this. (via WhatsApp)
Fabs (via discord): yeah kinda
Me: Yeah, the pieces are not everywhere in the same place, like those arrow things.
And it seems to have to a lot of tiny things of the very first complete sigil I had.
This one
But hey the fact you can see the same in it is mind-blowing lol.
Fabs: yeah, and the kinda wings at the top
Me: And it even has the second pair of wings in the middle.
Wait the focking minute. .....looks at the pointy thing above the circle with thorns.
The in-game one is at that same point, but lower in the circle.
I will make a complete sigil of the old one I have and which details it shares with the IG one.
Fabs: what part.
Me:
Fabs: oh yeah
Me: yeah
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Sept 6th
Me: Here is the entire summoning cycle Elidibus made for you to fight upon. In Pandemonium
Just zoom in a lot to see more details.
I think I found the head (purple lines)
But it’s facing forward
But it has the same feathers on the head.
Fabs: yeah, I can see that
Me: I get the idea they want to implement this glyph in the game but are still designing it and don't know “when” they should reveal it or even which character they are going to link to it.
What do you think?
Fabs: hard to say, they're maybe building up to something, but could also be some glyph used by the ancients
Me: True
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Later that day I found this tweet.
Translation......
It spoke to me.
The same day, I found another quite interesting tweet. That I had a big wtf reaction to.
Me: Wait what?! That is focking vice versa with me!
(there was originally art underneath, but I removed that to be sure nobody can blame me for posting it)
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Sept 7th
Me: apparently I didn’t post it here on Aug 23rd https://www.quora.com/How-many-spirit-guides-do-we-have/answer/Irina-Nola?comment_id=285127331&comment_type=2&__filter__=21&__nsrc__=notif_page&__sncid__=30461069902&__snid3__=41150131504
my spirit guide (Linala) is from Etheirys as well and was sent by the convocation
in case you cannot find what I wrote on the one with the link
Me: And now she answers to someone on Sept 1st with the additional info I gave her, lol (Council of their star race)
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Dm’s with TK
Me: got a question thus far you only answered lahabrea's skin color, does he still have blond hair then? oh, lol, working on the July chapter. It seems the first answer I gained was the correct one about lahabrea, I completely forgot about that one.
Tk: I don't really care about his hair and didn't ask, also which answer.
Me: “From elidibus, I get the answer he does look like on the poster but with a bit lighter skin. He isn't dark-skinned as Erich.”
Can you ask lahabrea if this is true?
Tk: Oh yeah, he said he wasn't
I mean that you were right about it.
Me: yeah. Stupid enough it somehow works that way, if you ask it many times, you get answers to your desires. But that lighter skin or, in your words, a tan could still fall under white in some cases. so yeah we are both right lol. Since he still chooses to view himself as the data-mined version of himself.
Perhaps at the moment, I asked the last time he did look like the data-mined version. And normally have a tan, as you said.
Have you checked out my glyph references from the P7 summoning circle I posted earlier?
(I linked there the resembles, see the previous chapter)
TK: I can see it, I told you that feels like they are pushing Firebird/Phoenix with mounts
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Sept 10th
Me: Hey, can you ask Lahabrea about the age of Venat?
Tk: Are you sure that they didn't live longer than what's considered normal age to us? I have never asked about ages (age doesn't really matter to me all that much) but seems like they all had long life spans.
Me: Yes, but. If we consider them older, then it doesn't make sense anymore at all. In Japanese, Azem, Emet, Hyth and Elidibus are called “seinen”. Which is someone between 18 and 29.
Way before that was said. I asked how old Elidibus was. He said 18 when he joined the convocation. And Emet was 10 years older than elidibus. So when the “seinen” term was revealed, then I knew Emet was 28 at Elpis.
Iirc elidibus said they grow up normally like us/elezen. But just live longer.
So I want to know Venat's retirement age. Not the age she originally was during Elpis. But when she retired and our WOL became Azem. Or the age of Azem when “Wol” became Azem.
Its clear elidibus isn't sure when she retired. So I hope lahabrea can tell me via you. Either Venat's retirement age or the age Azem had when she joined the convocation.
(I never gained an answer from her on this subject. But I was able to get to the root with elidibus asking around mainly Emet-selch later this month and at the start of October. )
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So I randomly asked elidibus yesterday what about the colors of their robes in the past and now. Since John saw green and blue (white for Eli) and various hues of those colors that they are wearing now. Even Zio had a dream about that, iirc.
I first went down to all colors, and they have, green, blue, and purple were the ones that I gained a yes for, so I asked which member had which color. The same color has different hues/nuances.
Elidibus: white
Emet-selch: blue
Lahabrea: blue
Igeyorhm, Deudalaphon, Nabriales, Loghrif, Halmarut: green
Altima, Emmoroloth, Pashtarot, Fandaniel, Mitron: purple.
I was surprised not everyone had the same color as the convocation stones. I mean, Emet blue? Nabriales green? While their respective colors of the stones are present? But aside from that, it remains clear that only the other 2 unsundered are wearing blue, and further no one else wearing that color.
I asked if it had to do with ranks, but no. it's something with chakras, I think? Not certain.
I also asked about ancient times.
A lot of colors were worn, just not orange and yellow, lol. And pink only for little girls. The rest of all the colors were worn by the common folk, but also black, brown, and gray.
The convocation did wear black only. And elidibus/retired members white.
And some other info before I forget it again.
I asked elidibus how to name the convocation for people who don't know or play FFXIV.
And I named the Council of Twelve of Earth as a resemblance. so I asked first if the Twelve of Etheirys were the Council. But no. they are higher (so that pretty much answers a completely different question about those, my guess is they are the Arch angels of Etheirys). So I asked If the Convocation is the Council of Etheirys. I gained a big yes to that.
I gained a yes when I asked if I can use the “Council of Fourteen (of my home planet)” to refer to them when someone is unknown to FFXIV. Then the quarter dropped. Council..... John called them the Council too. hehe, Council of Fourteen.
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Sept 11th
Need to ask if he helped with these. Since I asked for housing items and gathering items the last few times.
(I asked, and he helped)
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Sept 15th
So the Azem before me (Wol) did fight during her travels. Not against bad humans but monsters that were on a rampage, for instance.
Also, I asked about a dream I had.
I was with Elidibus and old Lahabrea at Pandemonium. Elidibus was wearing ascian robes but without all the armor or markings. His hood and mask were up. Lahabrea was in-game, hood off, and in black robes.
Eli suddenly gained an echo vision. And made a “gawk” sound when it happened and put his palm against his head.
I thought it would be about the future instead. Because I was in the past.
But when I was about to see what he sees, the dream changed to something else or awoke.
According to elidibus, it wasn't him at that moment. But it was most likely an echo vision of my own. Meaning, I saw through Azem's familiar eyes instead. And elidibus's vision was about the current situation, what was going on/how it came to be.
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Sept 18th
had a dream with a glimpse of elidibus in it. But sadly, I can't recall what he did. I know he was there at least. I remember he was wearing ascian robes and had his mask and hood on. Sometime later in the dream, a gigantic, huge super full moon in the night sky. Also, very bright and the stars with it. The size of the moon would be comparable with how the earth looks from the moon in terms of how big it was. It wasn't very long visible. it starts to flicker on and off after a short time. and eventually shrank to normal supermoon size.
I found the perfect comparison of how big the moon was.
In the elidibus scene with Ardbert on the moon. You see Etheirys in the sky, That's how big it was.
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I said to Linala today: pls make it rain all day, so the neighbors won't create unwanted noise. (I had a lack of sleep and just wanted to sleep)
and so it happened. It rains the entire day and the neighbors are quiet.
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Sept 19
Ok, so I had Eli over today for a few hours. The last 40 min was spent reading a 18+ fanfic about elidibus having sex with someone's (F) Wol.
He got aroused by it while reading. That he banged me halfway through the story. And after when I finished reading.
Funny enough, I finished the story 1 min before he needed to leave.
But he left while still aroused, lol, the quicky after the story wasn't enough.
Later today when making dinner. My ex still wanted a piece of me. And he didn't mind if Eli would join. But yeah, does Eli want that???
So I asked Linala if elidibus had time for another round when I finished cooking and if he was ok with my ex joining in.
Surprisingly, Eli agreed and came over as soon as I was available.
We had some good sex. Not going into details. But the orgasm was so intense due to the both of them penetrating me at the same time that it made me bleed xD.
But was worth it.
After my ex left the room, Eli stayed a bit for cuddles. He surely enjoyed it. And he indeed left while still being aroused earlier today. So he hoped I would call him later on. Haha.
He didn't want to leave, but he had work to do. And I had dinner that I still needed to eat. So eventually said goodbye. <3
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Sept 21st
I made a tweet about lahabrea on the Pandaemonium poster with pics, but I will skip those pics.
“Remember the first Pandaemonium poster with lahabrea on it? We were all blind as fock. The shade we thought was his skin color (chin) was, was his beard. And now by checking it again, you can see it's a beard. Who is facepalming already???”
“But now comes the rest. He is in ascian robes! My prediction will be that we see him as Ascian in the pandaemonium in the Aitiascope!”
(just sharing this in case it comes true)
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Sept 22nd
God dammit I had dreams about pandemonium but can't recall what it was!!!
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Sept 23rd
So Eli was here the entire day. He went with me everywhere I went. In the evening, I had alone time with him. And after an emotional breakdown of TK ignoring me, I tried meditating anyway. I was able to see glimpses of elidibus as my side. Of the guided past life session on YT. He was wearing his ascian robes, mask, hood up, and even gloves on. (Funny, though I discussed this earlier today. And he doesn't really wear them anymore. He just now replied he wore them for me.)
I saw, from the few glimpses, often his sleeves or robes. I saw him standing next to me on the sailing ship that was mentioned in the vid. When I looked at him, he smiled.
Sometime later, I saw his face with the mask. And we kissed, but he kissed me also on my physical lips.
The past life regression itself was not really successful. But he was there. I love him so much.
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Sept 26th
Ok, so I let Elidibus ask around about the ages of the convocation members. This includes an answer I gained on Oct 4th, but I will include it here as well for the full picture. Please take into account that Etheirys has 13 months and 468 days in a year.
Emet-selch was 25 and 5 months old when he joined the convocation.
Azem was 24 and 6,5 -7 months old when she joined. Emet-selch was 26 and a few weeks (max 1 month) at that time she joined.
During Elpis, Azem was 26 and 10 months old. And Emet is 28 and 4 months.
Now that I read this back, This makes Azem still “less than half the age of Venat” because Venat was 54 during the Elpis story. This means Venat was recently retired, not more than 2,5y ago. And Emet calls Azem “unholy successor” because he witnessed Venat as seat holder Azem.
Lahabrea was 69 during Pandaemonium and Eric was 25.
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So I had a very successful meditation just now.
Not really in a trance state that you astral travel. But more like the mind is completely blank and the rest of the body is in a sleep paralysis state. The mere thought of trying to let Linala speak through me went through me. With some effort without getting out of that particular state, I managed to ask (word for word) Linala to speak through me, to practice.
She was able to!
Only short answers like, yes, no, alright, it is fine, a lot, I understand, correct, etc. she was able to speak.
I spoke to her mostly via my own thoughts, and she answered via my voice.
I asked if she forwarded the questions I had to elidibus for tomorrow.
“Yes I did”
I asked if she truly worked for the convocation.
“That is true”.
I asked if I need to practice more for her to reply with more words.
“Yes”
I asked if elidibus really exists.
“Yes he does”
I apologized and said that sometimes it's so surreal.
“I understand”
I asked how much elidibus loves me.
“A lot”
I asked if we can practice this regularly.
“That's ok”
I asked if I got rid of all the imposters.
“Yes”
But the last time? (I had an imposter instance when elidibus left after an entire day with me)
“Well, the most of it”
(This was 2 words in Dutch, “ja redelijk”)
I heard my ex getting out of the shower and asked if he got questions she can answer.
“No, need to practice more”
Next time maybe?
“Yes”
I said at the end if I am slipping away
“Yes you are”
I really could feel my mind was getting back and losing the connection.
I thanked her. And I felt her leaving out of my body.
Directly after, I was instantly awake. I needed a long stretch to get my body out of it. But man o man, this is an improvement!
I probably forgot some questions, but the main things are here. Also, translating everything into English might give some weird answers, I must say. The answers also slip away way faster than when I used the magic shrooms.
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Sept 27th
I have been doing sky builder stuff lately. And I tried getting the first prize with Linala today. Of all the times she tried. She lost only when the icon/prize was not in there. The 2 times the icon/prize was in there, she was right immediately correct, and I won 1st prize.
Some forgotten notes I didn’t type up in Discord.
— me as Azem, I traveled as well. I wondered if I traveled the stars instead, for instance on Hermes's request, because I can change into the Phoenix. But no, just the planet itself.
— Still seeing 1111 and 2222 frequently, sometimes 444 and 333
— Wol Azem is 11/14 at the moment. He has been to other shards and added 2 soul rejoinings.
with Ardbert he was 9/14 (8 times rejoined plus himself)
which shard he rejoined shouldn’t be a farfetched tale, considering we are going to the 13th in the next Expansion. But for the second one, it will the 4th shard.
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Dreams of September
Sep 3rd
after a nonsense dream, I had a dream that I asked azeyma if they created the ancients or if they were the ancestors. I don't know if she answered. But I do know I asked Linala to ask elidibus. I got 2x no as the answer. Then I suddenly lay on the bed with my hand on my stomach (seemed pregnant) and saw an outline of Venat's hair appear.
Me: Venat?!! (started to get emotional)
Venat: answers will come to you soon.
Then the dream continued with other nonsense or woke up.
I also asked the same question in RL “No” I also asked if azeyma and Venat were the real ones. Azeyma turns out not to be. But Venat does!
Only I wonder why the questions were asked because I was not troubled with it in RL. and I kind of knew they weren't. The funny thing is that Venat confirms answers later in time 6.3 or 6.5?
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Sept 6th
I had asked Linala before I fell asleep to ask lahabrea if he had time to show my real glyph.
He came first as the old version of himself. I got to see a lot.
So don't know if this was the real one.
It was always something different. At the end of the umpteenth dream, it was about something else.
We had just gotten out of bed or something (everyone's own room, including my ex's).
We stood in front of everyone's own mirror, making up. Only I had blond hair. The type of blonde Athena had, but I didn't feel like her. I was some kind of “fan girl” at least that's how it felt. Only while I was combing my hair I was naked from above and saw that in the mirror. I peeked behind the door and saw Lahabrea from behind, behind his mirror working on his hair.
Me: oh, there he is. oh no, he will see me like this.
I closed the door a little further, but not in the lock.
Me: I have to get dressed now.
I combed on and by the time I was done, I was wearing black robes.
As I walked out of the room and passed Lahabrea further into the room.
Ex: Happy birthday, how old are you?
Lahabrea: 756
The weird thing is that's the number I had in my head before he mentioned it. so I don't know if that's correct. Because after that I said in my mind: * no that's not right he is older than that (assuming the 12K+ post-sundering age) he founded the convocation*
then I woke up
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Journal continuation of Oct, Dreams are underneath as usual
Oct 2nd
Funny thing.
At the My little pony convention where I am at. You get free water bottles as a vendor.
Atm, I thought, “If they come and ask if I need new ones, I have to say still got enough”.
2 sec later, the water guy walked in and came asking lol
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So I was uncertain about my earnings from the convention.
Linala has been helping.
Sold 2 statues of Luna and Celestia. (€400 discounted)
Later I asked her. If someone would just buy 1 more Celestia (€225), or a rarity, or some other Funko Vinyls, Then I can be happy.
A little later, someone buys a rarity and 2 Funko Vinyls (total €240).
Seriously, I am very grateful for Linala today.
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Ok, another one. Right before closing time.
I asked Linala to sell 1 more thing in the last 15 min. I sold 2 items. But the last one was the one Linala helped with.
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Saw 2222 again
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Oct 3rd
I asked Linala how the races came to be on Etheirys. (She Asked Emet and Eli)
Just like the “through his eyes” story.
Creations frequently got drifted souls merged into them. Mostly they would be extracted and sent to the afterlife. But in some creations, their souls remained in that body.
At the time of the sundering, those Creations got sundered. But not everyone died during the sundering. There were survivors. And the Creations with souls who survived became the races.
Additional note: I gained a clear no to that the ancients were merged with their creations would have caused the races of today. Nor did the ancients Evolve into it.
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He did it again
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Oct 4th
I tried another magic mushroom trip, but the background music on the voice recording muddled the voice.
I remember at least a few things. He isn’t into Pokémon like lahabrea is. He doesn’t really like it necessarily, he likes that I like it, but that’s all.
Lahabrea’s skin color was how he represents himself to me.
The WOL is rejoined with his shard on the 13th and the 4th. So this means after the 13th, the next shard adventure will be the 4th, hopefully.
Even my higher self doesn’t know where my phoenix powers came from.
It has been confirmed that the memories are wiped after the sundering. Including the memories of the Higher self. So every sundered soul doesn’t have direct memories of an unsundered world. (but can be triggered)
The higher selves of the ancients got sundered as well because the ancients were one with their higher selves. So each shard got their own HS.
My HS had no memories of Etheirys at all before I awakened in early 2020.
Emet-selch gave me that first dream at that time. He triggered the memories.
The ages I asked for before the trip are correct.
I can get my Azem title back if I want to when I come home. But I can get a new one as well. Wol Azem is probably going to reincarnate again anyway.
He and the others don’t know what happened to my shards, or where they even are.
The aging process of an ancient is just like normal humans but lives longer. But some people become older looking quicker than others.
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Oct 6th
Got Eli over for a few hours.
We talked about things about if he would take a host for me to be with me physically on Etheirys if I ever decide to learn lessons I still want to do. He said yes. But only 1 last time. He doesn't like to take host bodies anymore. He wants to let the dead bodies rest.
But after some other subject. That he will never let me go again. I said, “I would sacrifice existence for you”.
He was so shocked about it that he shook my body and started to cry.
Eli: no don't I am nothing without you.
That is what I heard in my head.
He confirmed he said that and that it was his tears.
Also, if something happens to me that I would instantly die or something on the verge of dying, he will be there to pick me up, no need to alarm Linala to get him. He will drop his work instantly and come over.
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Oct 8th
Dm with TK
Me: I am so sorry to bother you. But the live letter and this.
TK: I was going to send you, actually, lol
Me: Japanese translation of the tweet I shared, and you wanted to share me! It implies more that lahabrea influenced him.
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Oct 9th
My last gathering items of lvl 60 are sold and an almost full set of crafting.
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Oct 10th
Had a dream last night about traveling to the first and bringing Important characters to the source. Grabbed some blue crystals from the floor (standard aetheryte shape) those not bigger than 4 cm.
I showed them to minfillia, and she used her powers to charge them. And said, “Now you will be able to use them with your black/dark magic. But it will only work temporarily”.
Those would be used to grant the people I choose from the First to travel to the source.
But it needed to be done quickly.
I dimension hopped to the First in a strange way, as in falling into a hole but still standing on the ground. All of a sudden I was on the First, I could tell because of the purple hue in the air (rightttttttt).
The first one on the list after locating Ryne and Gaia (somehow they were suddenly with me for a short moment). We went for looking for Lyna. But then somehow the dreams got warped into something else. And I saw 7 rainbows in the sky. I knew it meant something, but what?
And a lot of false awakenings happened and random stuff.
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Oct 11th
Me: I swear, they know. But keep quiet as the grave.
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My son noticed the full moon in the sky.
Son: Mom, look, elidibus shines his light for you!
He knows without telling him.
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Oct 13th
Elidibus likes my burritos, especially my guacamole sauce.
Dm’s from TK
Me: Before I forget again. I asked last week if the ancients had some sort of Christmas back in that day. Some end-of-the-year celebration. And gained a yes. So I Will be making a convocation Christmas tree together with a friend with a resin 3D printer.
Since crystals were used as decoration on different kinds of trees in their time. Iirc, it wasn't like a Christmas tree. Just a tree without leaves. Sadly, I have forgotten some details now.
Tk: I mean, the holiday season in general is special for a lot of societies. That would make sense.
Me: yeah
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This is just too wholesome. Eli was over the entire day. And I explicitly asked if he could help me sell the housing items. Namely, the fruit platter and sylphic chair. After meditation in the evening, I checked my retainers on my Companion app and noticed he managed to achieve it already.
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Oct 14th
ah yes, last Monday (Oct 10th) I was strangely obsessed that I wanted to feel that certain feeling again I had on August 19th. I asked Linala to let elidibus let his Orb resonate. And well, in big variations of intensity, he did. it really felt like I was pregnant, lol. During the last visit from yesterday, I asked it again. He confirmed it's swirling around me a lot and when I feel it, it's inside.
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Oct 15th,
Chat with Corvus on my weblog
Corvus: Hey there! Huge apologies for such a long silence, but I promise there have been reasons for it. I have a lot to catch up on.
So for starters, I kinda just got out of the hospital. I won't delve into gross details, but I've been very sick for the past couple of weeks now. Rest assured, though, I'm okay now.
Before that, though, between rigorous studying for uni exams, I spent a lot of time communing with Aeneas. It's felt like we're digging further and further back into the root of my energetic signature, brief images and flashes of landscapes coming to my mind in pieces. As I described what I saw, Aeneas eventually came to the conclusion that my origins involve the Seventh. What that means exactly, though, I'm not sure. Before ending up in the hospital, he said he'd speak on the matter with Emet-Selch, though I haven't heard the results of that conversation yet since getting out.
But yeah, I'm horribly sorry it's been so long. I promise I haven't been ignoring you or anything, I've just kinda had a bad time of it recently.
At any rate, thank you in advance for your patience with me as I settle back in comfortably at home and get back to regularly replying to things!
Me: Omg,
I had no idea. Good to hear you are ok!. The seventh? The shard perhaps? Despite being rejoined with the source. I looked up, it was also the seventh rejoining. So it is either of the two or both? I don't know, I hope you get your answer soon!
On Sept 26 I sent this to you
“Hello
I asked via elidibus to Emet some questions.
1 regarding you. Though, it may be answered in my favor.
But from the options, I could come up with. Is that you used to work together with Azem when she was back from her travels. I do not know what kind of work. You weren't a convocation member.”
Does this trigger something?
Corvus: Yeah, I think the images I've seen come from the Seventh before the flood of darkness. As for why the name Azem resonates so much with me, that could be it, but I almost feel like if that's the case, then it goes back further than Venat. She feels foreign to me, but “Azem” doesn't. That might not be helpful, since I have no clue who held the seat before Venat, but that's just the feeling I get. Of course, part of the problem is that the one person I can talk to most about it, Aeneas, also really doesn't know. At any rate, I'll certainly keep you updated as I learn more!
Me: Oof, if that is the case, that would mean Emet-selch didn't witness you as Azem either. He was only 28 during Elpis and venal 54. Have you read the side story of Venat? Or As Azem's work buddy. Ah, before I forget. Maybe she had a different name back then. As the Greek god names are not their real names either. So I wouldn't be surprised if that is the case with Venat. Though, how they looked like is very close to what they actually looked like. Sadly, Elidibus said to me their real names are magically inclined, so he won't tell them. Though I just remembered that even if Emet didn't witness you, he can see through your soul's past life records, probably. Otherwise, he wouldn't have answers for you.
Corvus: That would be really convenient if those sorts of records were still preserved, but I'm not optimistic. A lot of time has passed and in that time countless disasters. I don't know about you, but my backup hard drive definitely wouldn't last through a few world-ending apocalypse events, lol.
Still, though, there's a chance. Creation magicks, or matter weaving, or whatever the process is actually called, is unfathomably powerful and complex.
No reason not to ask, ya? From what I understand of Emet-Selch at this point, if he can help, he will. He'll complain about it, but he'll help, lol.
Me: Hahahahah, that sounds like Emet, alright. But yeah, you're right. My higher self's memory got wiped too during the sundering. It's the game that triggers memories or Emet-selch giving me these. So we will see about yours. But if you had Shard lives, then at least those are available. Because the seventh umbral calamity wasn't too long ago! I mean, you pretty much directly went to Earth after that. Be it either you being from the source got rejoined and died or only a shard of the seventh doesn't matter. Those Memories should be intact. I found something in my old group that I use as a private server. By reading your messages for the August chapter, you said it started in 2006. Read these on the image. 2006 is mentioned.
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Oct 16th
Chat with Corvus:
Me: hi there, are you ok with the August chapter since you are in there too.
Corvus: Hi! I've looked over the August chapter and first of all congratulations! If you and Elidibus are indeed having another child, I wish you both nothing but the best!
The screen from before that, the one that goes back to '06, is interesting. It seems consistent that they've been reaching out to us for quite a long time, then. Kinda makes me wonder how many more people there are out there starting off like me, with no idea how to process the reality of what they're feeling.
Being referred to as a student is a little embarrassing, but I suppose it isn't wrong, lol. All of this really is relatively new to me, whether it's IRL meditation and communion with Aeneas or progressing in the game to see what answers I can gain from there.
Side note: I do hope since August you've done the Pandaemonium story for yourself. It's really, really cool, and the Asphodelos and Abyssos fights are fantastic!
Warm regards,
“Corvus”
Me: Yes, I did the pandemonium story. The biggest mind-blowing thing was my glyph references in the game being indirectly, but it's there! And yes I wonder how many too. Because today I came to know via TK some other mind-blowing story, see screenshot. There are more people aware but have no clue a game tells the story! That tells 76% of the full picture.
As I have asked, it's my duty to bring awareness of the existence of the convocation of fourteen and Etheirys to the people on Earth. Maybe 1 day I will get acknowledged. But I won't be surprised if that only happens when passed on, and I left Earth already. Something similar to Einstein. He was declared crazy when he was alive. I am going through the same. People declare me crazy, tell me to stop, to seek help. Nope, I won't. I am here, what I am supposed to be doing.
And, well, about the student's thing. *Shrugs,* I thought it was a nice way to say that because I did teach you where to begin. ;) And many people can now read that chapter to discover themselves.
And yeah, I am very happy to get another soul baby with elidibus. I really wonder what experiences will result in that.
How far are you in the game? I assume you finished 6.2 now then?
Corvus: Yeah! To be honest, there are a ton of references in various mythos that could root themselves in the findings and studies on Etheirys. Like for one, I spent some time in uni observing a coven of Wicca practitioners that spent a lot of time ritualistically communing with the fae, and most of their understandings of the fae are consistent with Il Mheg, which itself mirrors studies done by Hermes in Elpis.
But yeah, in the game, I'm up through 6.2, and waiting on 6.25 here in a couple of days. My current best IL is 615 and that's after getting a weapon for my main (PLD) from the 6.2 extreme trial.
I'll never understand people who go out of their way to harm or hurt anything they don't understand. Like, SIMPLY because they don't understand it. It makes no sense. People can fail to understand what we see, that's fine, or they can just choose not to believe, that's also fine, but are we hurting anyone? Are we making anyone's lives worse through our own self-contained spiritual practice? No. Nothing the Unsundered has taught us has instructions to hurt anyone. Like sure, they're depicted as villains in the game or whatever, but even then, their motivations and attachment to the old world are explained enough that just someone playing the game can tell they're not malicious. (Except maybe in-game Fandaniel, lol) The bottom line tho is nothing about you or the website or the study or any of it hurts anyone. So it makes no sense that people would go after you so hard. Seems pointless and evil to me.
Sincerely,
“Corvus”
Me: Yes exactly. Tysm!
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yesterday I had the “talk through me” experience again with Linala.
I was too tired afterward to note it down here. So alas, I forgot a lot already after a night of sleep. But I was able to receive more expanded answers. I will type up what I can remember.
She said Elidibus loves me very much. And was sorry that the voice recording failed on Oct 4th.
At some point, I asked her to let elidibus connect, and she did.
Eli: Ayane, … I love you.....
Me: I love you, 2.
Eli: I heard from Linala the voice recording failed.
Me: yeah
Eli: that's a pity, hopefully, better next time.
Then I needed to get my mind empty enough again, I noticed it was getting filled with too much, which results in disconnection of the ability. So my focus went on to that and Elidibus left. As so, I asked Linala later when my mind was blank again.
Me: did he leave?
L: yes
me: Linala, can't I just do a trip once with just you?
L: not yet, also elidibus won't let me, maybe later.
Me: can you ask?
L: Sure, (little pause) Well possibly in December or January, but on Nov 11th he wants to be there.
Me: you asked that quickly?
L: yes.
Me: how about that Venat dream, was that really her? (September dream)
L: yes.
Me: but how do you know if the others can't check upon that?
L: I asked your higher self
me: but ofcourse, TY.
We talked more about things, but sadly I have forgotten those.
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Dm’s with TK
Tk: Is it possible for the dragons that now live on Etheirys to be able to reach out to other planets like ours, as Eli and them do? Saw a crazy comment chain on a video I was listening to saying that they had two dragons that came to them in dreams and helped them develop, much like the ancients did.
They said they originally came from
“a star that was ripped apart by war” but settled on another planet where their kind lived. Then they wanted to reach out to see if others were out there and had help from someone else to do so, thus getting in contact with Earth. The crazy part is someone asked them if they had ever played Xiv, and they said they weren't a gamer at all, so they never had. Unfortunately, can't ask them anything because it was like an over-a-year-old comment.
Me: Wtf wtf wtf
Doesn't matter if it's a year-old comment. Just comment!
I seriously had to read this multiple times because of the wtf moments.
The story of those dragons matches like 1000% wtf.
I don't know if they can, but since they can travel in space and have telepathy according to FFXIV, I am not surprised. But this is mind-blowing. Can you link it to me????? Dragons are still out here too. But live underground, much like the hidden world in Dragons (HTTYD) 3. Now I really started to wonder if those came from Etheirys!
Do you have the link for me to that video? Also, I wonder if this will be in FFXIV later on in 8.0 or something.
After some time, I asked again:
Me: pretty please
please link. I need to read it for myself.
And to place a comment if that is still possible.
TK: Busy today, will send after work.
And she ignored me again. And changed the “after work” to “when I can”.
I gave her somewhat of a lecture that ignoring your friends is rude. She didn’t reply to it.
It wasn’t until Nov 4th that we spoke again. She gave me a different link that someone else said the same, but a shorter version of it. So sadly (and as I feared) it's not the first one she told me. Hopefully, she will try to find it nonetheless.
And I hope, of course, to receive her Journal soon…….
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Oct 18th
He helped to sell these
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Oct 20th
So I asked when the next patch will drop. Possibly on Dec 13th or 20th.
And Fan Fest tickets are for now set by December as well.
They can change their mind obviously, but it has been set to December as it is for now
And he will be 2 days in a row with me in January. He said to try that once a month, but probably there will be times when he can't.
I asked also about the thing to do a trip with just Linala, but he preferred not. He wants to be with me for now. Maybe in February.
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I didn't believe I would have to write down the dream I had (2 nights ago) until I discovered the newest ff16 trailer today.
In the dream, I was angry at some people. I don't recall what they did
I transformed into the phoenix again. But more harpie-like, since I was half human and half phoenix.
I breathed fire from my mouth at them to scare the shit out of them. So they would fear me and wouldn't harm me. The fire breathing wasn't a very big deal. It was small. It was the first time me doing this. It was not longer than a meter long and the flame was potentially 20 cm wide. But it was enough in that dream.
After 3x spewing fire, it went about something else.
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Oct 21st.
Chat with Corvus on the weblog and continued on Discord.
Me: How are you doing? I know experiences don't come every day, but I am just curious if you got anything. And do you got Discord?
Corvus: Hello!! I haven't heard anything from Aeneas yet, actually. It's kinda weird. It's not just that he hasn't answered my questions. I haven't heard legit anything at all. He sorta does this sometimes?? I don't know, he'll just randomly disappear for days at a time. No idea why, and he never tells.
Anywho, Discord might be a much faster way to talk day-to-day! My tag is: [redacted]
Hope to hear from you there soon!
Warm regards,
Me: About him being gone suddenly and re-appearing. Seems to be equal to the others.
Lahabrea does it too with TK.
And elidibus also. But elidibus was kind enough to make an agenda, so I know when he will be over. But that's just a luxury. I am not sure if others would do that.
Eligenda as I call it xD
Corvus: That, and you and Elidibus have a slightly different relationship than Aeneas and me XD
Me: Yes exactly
Corvus: But no, for right now, my only real development is that I'm starting a personal journal to keep track of each and every time I see flashes or visions of the Seventh. That way I can look back each time at what I've seen previously and potentially start to draw connections.
Me: Nice!
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Oct 24th
Since I never got an answer to what lahabrea's hair originally looked like (as an ancient) I asked via Linala to lahabrea.
He said it was less reddish/different kind of red
The color of the woman is what he really had.
I gained, it was more orange-like. And now I see the 2 colors together, I can clearly see that the woman would count for orange-like.
Also did a higher self session again today after a long time of not doing it.
Not really something new. But fan fest tickets will most likely be available on the LL when the trailer of the next patch is. Or at least early December.
The next patch will be on Dec 13 or 20th. The option with the biggest possibility was the 20th.
(funny enough, a few days later the date “Nov 11th” of the next Live Letter was announced, with the early preview for 6.3. After the “first peek” LL, it usually takes another month (4 weeks) for the trailer to release and then 10 days for the patch. You will get the 20th of Dec as a result)
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Oct 25th
After meditating, I first checked my phone for other things but then when I put my phone away I saw this:
Strangely enough, elidibus hadn’t to do anything with it.
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Oct 27th
I completely forgot about this, Emet saying they are in fact a Council, lol
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Oct 28th
Dm’s with Fabs
I asked Fabs some things. But he was drunk, so couldn’t do it. But he offered to answer some questions. (this will include some drunken spelling/grammar errors because it's funny)
Fabs: If you ever wondered anything about me, now is the time
Me: ah, that kind of drunk now, are we? :P Ok, by reading everything I shared in my journal, do you truly believe in the existence of the Convocation?
Fabs: Yes, both by the things I read and the things I have seen in dreams, like my dream in Feb about death. When I first read I was skeptical, but as time went on I believed.
Me: ah, when did you start to believe? At what chapter were you?
Fabs: Cant tell 100%, but my first dream told me that what I learned from you was true.
Me: ohhhhh, I can't remember you told me that one though.
Fabs: It was way back I told you about a dream about what’s death like something tells me it was my higher self telling me to trust you. Also, the way I found you just spell out destiny.
Me: ok going to look it up in the weblog chat, do you remember if that dream was at the start of this year or further back into the end of 2021?
Fabs: Think it was around either Jan or Feb
me: ok Ty!
This is the dream you told me in Jan
“I can't really remember the beginning of the dream. I think I was raiding a place, but I had returned and got a new mission, to go to a place and steal something then deliver it to one of 2 factions. So I took out a small plane/spaceship, to go to the location then I was there I loaded the package into a car, then I got into the car Emet was sitting in the front passenger seat. He even got his own intro (tho they got his name wrong unless Emet von kraust is another name for him). I then remember him turning to me with the biggest frown on his face, I didn't care much, was mostly just surprised to see him, I then began driving, and the route took me through a war zone. He said something about making it interesting iirc and called 2 ancients after me, they didn't do much, I didn't deliver my package before waking up”
ah, found it on Dec 21st, 2021.
“So I have been going back and forth if I should talk about this dream I had since it might be very accurate, but here it goes.
So a bit over a week ago, I had a dream that I was being shown the processing of all the dead people, it was explained to me like was basically a new employee, and there were 3 steps.
1st – They were checked if it were their time to go… (this is the main part)
2nd – their morals were checked, and nothing really happened further.
3rd – they were given their new identity and sent further along (don’t know what happened to them after that)
But about the time to go, if it was not their time to go yet, for example, suicide, they were thrown out, being barred from death. If this is true, then that would help explain why natural death is so important.
Again, I’m not sure if any of it is accurate, since as far as I know I haven't been in contact with any spirits or anything. And also can’t remember many details (woke up and had another dream after it)”
Me: but you didn't tell me the confirmation you had about my story, though.
Fabs: Yes that one, in a way I felt after I told something, told me to trust.
Me: Also, Zio and Jezzah are ok with it letting you join the server. Would you like that?
And so he joined. But continued the chat first.
Fabs: Yeah sure. Tho, you're missing the hardest question, The way I found you.
Me: well yeah how did you find me lol
Fabs: R/tattle crime discord
Me: was that during that conversation they were spitting shit about me, and you showed me screenshots of that?
Fabs: Yes, but they are not bad people, and they follow the golden rule.
Me: the wut? Not bad people? Golden rule?! You need to explain.
Fabs: Their goal is to defend people like Jen. The golden rule is don’t release info about it, helps someone like they won’t release an address since they won’t release an address since some might do something extreme.
The golden rule is, don’t release information unless it is necessary.
Me: ah ok
Fabs: Jen doesn’t believe it anyway
Me: who is Jen though XD
Fabs: Jenova or Jennifer Comet, the person behind the ff7 house
Me: ahhh. Aside from the screenshots, you once shared with me. Were there other things they talked about me? Or what made you check upon me?
Fabs: No, none at all. That I have been interested in the more spiritual side.
Me: nice
Fabs: At first it was an interest in the “weird” side, but later I believed in the things you said
Me: :’) ty.
Fabs: I rejoined tattle crime on the 15th of Oct around the time of your return, and dreams tell me to believe you. So I believe in destiny.
Me: oh wow, nice. That's indeed faith/destiny.
Fabs: Feels good to get it off my chest
Me: oh? Did it bother you not to tell me?
Fabs: A bit. I always feared the ones I told you. That I would hurt by “betraying” you.
Me: yeah, I get that I might have thought of “betraying me” if you told me too soon.
It's good that you waited.
Fabs: thanks, thank you for trusting me after the truth.
Me: you're welcome.
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Oct 30th
When I was dry-cleaning my robes for today's early Halloween, I asked elidibus some things about their robes.
I asked if the robes were like in-Game, that they reach the ground.
But they didn't they were almost upon the ground but not touching it.
Also, they wear summer variants during summer. Even short sleeves or even without sleeves. And the robes themselves were also shorter. Not much, about halfway of the lower leg.
Also asked how they cleaned their ropes. Just with water and soap and magic to dry them.
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Oct 31st
yesterday, with the early Halloween celebration, I had the song “Scream” in my head with mostly the text “Does your sanity die” (even though I misremembered it with “watch your sanity die”). Elidibus doesn't like the song, he kept saying “no” every time I sang it. It's clearly a song guided by lahabrea, lol.
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Dreams of October
Oct 25th
I don't remember how it started. It was mainly about meeting Yoshi and Ishikawa, but they weren't there.
Until somewhere, at some point, I was almost sucked/blown out of a building with a strong wind.
I held myself to the door frame. I yelled to Emet (ancient form)
who was lying on a couch with fans on top of him.
Me: Come, Emet, let's go to Japan. I need to ask Yoshi some things and maybe Ishikawa too.
Emet: *grunts* ok 1 moment.
I went outside, the wind was trying to suck me away. I flew in the air and Emet came up.
Me: can you make a portal to Japan?
Emet hummed and his finger snapped.
And a rainbow circle emerged with a blurry hole in the center above our heads.
Me: you lead us through it.
I held on to him, and we floated up through the hole.
The moment we went through it, we also went back down almost immediately.
It looked a bit like the same place we were, but Japanese. Illegible characters everywhere for me (I can't read Japanese).
Me: come, let's find Yoshi and Ishikawa.
Emet, who was suddenly a bit smaller, looked down uncomfortably and looked uncertain and gloomy. I followed him into a building.
Me: please don't tell me they are dead in a different timeline.
He kept walking
me: or maybe they aren't even born yet.
Then Emet walked into a bathroom and began to wash while still wearing his robes.
I stood looking in the doorway.
Me: ah, I get it.
Then I woke up.
He wanted to be fresh and clean before meeting them out of respect.
The reason he became smaller was to conserve energy.
Oct 29th
After thinking this Oct chapter wouldn't be very interesting regarding dreams, a sudden thing happened. I already assumed that elidibus would no longer come in my dreams this month. And then it even comes twice! For real, sometimes I just think he does it for the sake of it to stay away when I want to see him. Also, we agreed that if he doesn’t come into my dreams in a month, then I can pick a day anywhere in the next month, and he will be there a full day. I guess he concluded that it wouldn’t work for the coming month, lol. But that is just a guess.
Anyway, here are the remaining 2 dreams.
I was already having trouble falling asleep. But when I finally fell asleep it was instant lucid.
At first, I dreamed that our cat Chelsea wanted to go in, but soon it switched to something else.
I went looking for elidibus, but it didn't work. I got into a story that I was apparently Chinese and dying in a serious accident but went out of my “body” in the hospital bed.
And went to look for Elidibus... After several failed attempts, I was put back in my body and I could start over again. After a few times, I saw the full moon but no Elidibus.
On the last escape, I ended up flying into a power grid. I couldn't change course. I flew into it, so I turned around to look for a way out, but then I got electrocuted. Causing severe damage to my back.
I passed out from the pain. I kind of died.
Then I came to a short story about a Chinese girl who had one of her fake breasts leaking, and she swallowed its contents. So it was leaking from outside and inside. She was on her back, I turned her around, and she got up on her hands and knees.
There was a Chinese young man present (possibly her boyfriend)
me: she has to puke it out, she got it in.
I patted her back a few times, and she threw up. Gray stuff came out with a lot of blood. Really rancid. Then I felt the back pain from before again. And ended up in a bed. That guy lay down next to me.
Me: Can you get Elidibus for me?? (saying it as if it is my death wish).
Man: I don't know if I can. But is it ok what I am doing now?
He hugged me in bed
Me: thank you.
I realized (sort of) that I had died myself. And went to a waiting room where souls wait to be picked up by their loved ones in the 5D.
Only he never came. A few pretended to be Elidibus, but they were so badly done that I noticed right away, and they didn't do anything to me because of that.
somehow, Elon Musk was in my dream. He came as a half-baked Eli that was mixed with Blance from Pokémon Go in that horrible fashion outfit. (nerdy Blance with glasses).
He came down the stairs but sat down at a table and became himself.
Me: Elon, was it really necessary to dress up as Elidibus?
He hummed and kept checking his cell phone.
Me: thanks I guess.......
I called Elidibus many times more without traveling much, at least not beyond the hall or anything beyond. He had promised that if I died, he would pick me up. But he didn't come.
I finally saw my ex dressing up as a pirate. I don't know what he was doing in this building.
He came walking.
Me: Honey, can you call elidibus for me?
He didn't hear me at first, it seemed.
I asked again and added the following.
Me: I can't do it myself. (I sat on the floor with a broken back)
I was too weak to reach him.
Ex: I'll look for you.
as he said that, he stood in the mirror looking at himself in his outfit.
The hall was empty, everyone was gone. And it was dark. Then someone came down the stairs. I saw through the wall that he was wearing a nightcap but did not see him yet.
Me: is it? Elidibus?
He became visible and walked towards me. His robes looked like a pajama version of his ascian robes. The gold was made of fabric and glued on as a cosplay would have without foam armor.
I thought, *did he oversleep?*
I scrambled to my feet and held on to him. I could barely stand the pain. the damage was actually too great to stand at all. As I stood up and held him, he said.
Eli: don't do that- (missing word)- you should be.
Then I woke up.
Right, when I woke up, I thought the missing word must be “here”. So, “here you should be”.
Later it turned out to be “there”. “There you should be” by “there” meant here in the 5D
and the “don’t do that” was obviously about why I shouldn’t stand up.
Also, he was just late and symbolized this by putting himself in as he overslept. He did know what happened in that dream.
Oct 30th
I don't remember the beginning, but I was in some sort of Group fighting evil shit, and they had eeveelutions with them (evolutions of Eevee from Pokémon). From a distance in the woods, I said “Those are Carbuncles” They were all lined up on a big rock with moss.
Moments later after that group had made their weapons battle-ready. I said again, “Those are Carbuncles I'm sure”
Then we went out, and we came out on an open lawn where we had to fight “evil”. But it was Elidibus who came to play the villain role.
The leader of the group: there he is, attack!
I flew towards him with the fake intention of attacking him. In other words, I faked it.
When I was with him, he charged himself and I said: “Don't worry honey I won't attack you (he smiled) just play along”.
He did, I pretended to attack him with a bow and arrow. The moment I flew further, the dream switched to our hideout.
The leader of the group came to us furious like an anime character.
L: Bayleaf was looking hopelessly in love with Elidibus, and now he has escaped. Now we have to do it again.
And we set off again.
Me: ok then, I'm Bayleaf
strangely enough, they somehow didn't realize it was me. Then we came to a place from long ago when we were little. That piece of the past was there in the dream at the beginning.
L: This looks familiar (the area was bare).
The buildings were gone, and the nature area was barely kept up.
Me: yes indeed, there---
L: yes there was (forgot what she said), and next to that was the farm that was the daycare.
There was nothing left on the site of the farm. it was an open field with trees.
We were looking for something. I thought it would be helpful to ask for help with the search.
I finger snapped with the intention of calling Emet. Then in the distance, there was someone in red robes.
Me: *Exarch?* Look there's someone.
We walked over to him, and he raised his head.
Me: Fandaniel? I expected Emet or Exarch.
F: Sorry for the confusion, but I can help you with what you're looking for.
Me: oh?
F: The flower you are looking for is here somewhere on the lawn.
I looked around me as he spoke.
F: It just won't be easy to find. So I did it for you. It once belonged to Meteion.
I looked at him, and he had a golden amulet attached to a golden chain. The amulet was no bigger than a penny and had a flower on it.
F: (gave it to me) You need this to get your son's memories back.
(he called him by his name, but I won’t share that here)
I looked at him, wondering if I could have it.
F: Don't worry, I can find a new one in a minute.
I thought to myself *via time traveling perhaps*?
Then I woke up
now, this is interesting, my son doesn’t have memory problems. Nor is it necessary to let him know his past lives. Which was the intention of it.
After I woke up from that dream and checked my phone, it was 4:44.
i am noting down every time i see an angels number, but i am mostly seeing them every day now, 333, 444, 1111, 2222 are the one i keep seeing..
that was the September + October. stay tuned for the next one!
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