Nov 1st
Fabs: Not a lot of stuff happened but had a dream that I heard a song, and it triggered a voice in my head saying “Emet I'm so sorry” spent the rest of the dream looking for the song.
Me: Was it a male or female voice?
Fabs: Male. Felt it as my own voice.
Me: Oh interesting.
The conversation didn't continue, I hope he gets more dreams eventually. There is some connection with Emet going on. but we will see.
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Nov 3rd
After working on an expanded version of Chapter 6 I tried contacting an ex-member of the previous group.
You might think, “why the hell are you doing that?”… Sadly it didn't turn out too well even though I only asked how she was doing. But the reaction of Corvus about this is spot on.
Me: I tried to contact her. By just asking how she was doing. I had hoped she would have eased down after a year of hardly any witch-hunt drama. Because after reading back, she might be indeed just in contact with the deleted timeline ones.
Which means his personality is also different.
She has clearly not read any of the sessions with John. And a lot of other things. Just to make clear, I do not want her back in the group, only to talk to, that's all.
It's clear the second part is about what she thinks is true on the Doc because she talks about “present actions”
Me: Some things about the second part.
Despite the people who believe the doc speaks true, I am genuinely trying to be nice to people on Twitter. Because people who really know me say I am a nice person. So I am trying to sorta prove that I really am. But so far no success when they came to know I am “that” person later on. So yes, I am trying to make amends for people who believe I have done wrong.
If someone here can add things to this, then please do.
About the first part. I don't really understand “association” in that sentence. It translates weirdly in my language or not at all.
Does she mean towards the convocation by any chance?
Sorry for the text bombs everyone, but if you could take a moment to read it and reply, I would be grateful. And I know you might have the question of why do you even take an effort to do this? Because I am mostly a forgivable person to people who weren't the worst. I forgave Jezzah too, to give an example. I gave her another chance, and she gave me the same chance back.
Corvus: So the question that says “are you sure you won't embarrass him by association” is asking you if you are confident that your actions do not make Elidibus embarrassed to be close to you. The phrase “embarrass him by association” means to make him embarrassed to be linked to you.
For example, say you went out to dinner with some friends. One friend ordered too many alcoholic drinks and started acting crazy and stupid. If that friend made a scene and bothered the other people in the restaurant, you might be embarrassed to be at the dinner with them. That would be an embarrassment “by association”
Me: Ah ty for this clarification!
As far as I am aware, he isn't embarrassed. Nor does he speak much about our relationship with the other members. at least that's the idea I get, not because he is embarrassed, but because he is kinda a private person. The others definitely know about it.
Meaning, towards other people, he will remain stoic-like. Only if people are interested in our relationship, he will show or let you know. But not in detail.
Corvus: I mean, it is not my business, but as I read that write-up by Mysidia, I just laughed.
Elidibus? Virtuous? Loving every being on the star? The old world treated thoughts and emotions as dangerous. Feelings and ideas were regulated and restricted. The beings of the star were test subjects for experiments to decide whether they deserved to exist or not. The Convocation was definitely made up of dignified people, but “virtuous” is an exaggeration.
That would be like saying Elon Musk is a virtuous person because he is a billionaire. LOL
Also, Mysidia says you must be grounded in this reality or the astral will be inaccessible. Umm, what about every religion on the star? People have been seeking enlightenment or some kind of heaven for tens of thousands of years. They have prayed to their gods, communed with their gods, performed rituals for their gods, and claimed to channel spirits for their gods. They still do today. So are none of them grounded in reality?
I just think this Mysidia person wants to act like they are superior to you. They think they are better, and they are trying to look down on you, but none of what they are saying is logical or justified.
Me: I laughed at the Elon Musk part, lol.
But you are right. Though, she speaks of “present” actions. But yeah, she does sound like to have a superior issue. I would like to add that indeed the past of their kind wasn't that beautiful.
Regarding emotions towards each other went even out of proportion regarding lahabrea and Athena. Soul bonding was definitely a thing back then. But Athena misused it.
And she once said that soul bonding is a low-level thing and that she was far above it already. Isn't she embarrassing the ancients this way?
Corvus: What even is “far above” soul-bonding? What does it even mean to call it a “low-level thing”? She sounds like one of those elitist gamer types that's just “oh you cleared P8S? Ha, that's rookie stuff. I cleared blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back and still got a pink parse”
Me: Yeah, apparently she finds herself more advanced because she has actual pagan teachers and is of the higher level ones iirc. She once said that she doesn't do the soul-bonding anymore because she advanced and doesn't need it anymore. And that belongs to a lower level of Spiritual practice.
But in all honesty, since soul bonding was something very deep for the ancients and only done with their significant other. Isn't she embarrassing their ways? Like making fun of them Or such?
Corvus: Yeah, it's definitely making a mockery of soul bonding. Not only that, but it's also misunderstanding spirituality in general. People don't “level up” in spiritual connection. It's not a game.
Also, it's just disrespectful. Imagine having a spiritual bond with someone, then one day they just say “oh I'm not going to link with you anymore, it's too low level for me”. Like, what? WTF? That's like chatting up and dating someone and then ghosting them because your tastes are too “refined” for them.
Me: Yeah, I know right. (Mockery was the word I was searching for ty) Though you do get better in the practice, there will be a difference for example someone who just started and someone doing it already for quite some time. But saying a certain thing is low level is egocentric. As a more advanced person, you often learn more from the simple things, and only trying the hard stuff won't make you better if you forget/neglect the easy things.
Corvus: That and there are too many differences with paganism. As far as my experience has taught me (I was close to a coven while at uni) pagans, Wiccans, etc., they all practice reverence for nature, and in many cases, the moon. There are rituals, ceremonies, and various kinds of worship.
We do NOT worship the Convocation, nor the Unsundered, nor any Ascians in general. Being able to communicate with them, form bonds with them, and exchange values and words with them is not a religion. It's not ideology. It's simply communication and learning from a different culture about our spiritual past. While yes, their society achieved levels of peace and advancement (for a time) that we haven't on this star, they are still ultimately just people, as are we.
Me: Exactly, I couldn't word it better myself.
Fabs: yeah I agree, also to add to pagans there are a lot of differences depending on geography, generally where I live, if someone is pagan its the Norse gods, and they are in the military
was she the one that was a member of the golden dawn?
Me: Yeah iirc she is.
Fabs: so there may be also some part of their beliefs that push that kind of thinking.
Me: I guess yes? Not sure.
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Nov 4th
Me: Oh wait, it's bonding anniversary today. I gonna do things today with elidibus. Also, To get my mind off the depressing state I am in atm, hopefully.
I am not the kind of person to trouble others with my troubles. (But at least I don't stop talking to them). But I will write some off me tomorrow, a slightly maybe for today if elidibus doesn't mind.
It will mostly be a reply to the dm from Twitter. And will be in my online journal.
I just need to write it off me, it's giving me more sleep problems than I already have. .....
~Later that day~
So for our bonding anniversary, I bought small fruit cakes at a Bakery. He tasted it with me. He liked it.
Even though the day isn't over yet. I will type up some things.
The day didn't start very well, lack of sleep and headache that didn't go away. When he arrived, I was very happy he was there. Though, I didn't have the energy for sex at all. (He is atm still patiently waiting for tonight lol).
We talked a lot about my depressed living situation (I will write about it tomorrow). And when I burst into tears I heard a thought “it will be alright” (iirc). I asked when. “Soon”.
I asked some things regarding what Mysidia said. He doesn't even find himself virtuous, as in absolutely not. He admits he has too many flaws in the present and past to call himself virtuous. Also, he is proud of me for how I manage to hold on, to my situation and that I don't commit suicide. And the abilities I gained to communicate with him and other things.
Later this day about 1,5h ago. I asked again when I would be relieved of the sh*t I am in. “Soon”
And I asked if I can even hold on until then. “You will”.
The details of the sh*t I will tell tomorrow.
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Right before opening the retainer, check what I sold. I said, “if it's a sylphic chair, can you nudge for the others chairs to be sold?” He answered yes.
The retainer opened, it was indeed a sylphic chair. And he will try xD.
~That evening~
Well, some heavy NSFW here is what I am to write. Normally I don't do this anymore, but this time something happened during it.
So, getting “into” it took a while because I had my stomach full of dinner. So we took it veryyyy slow with foreplay. After some time, I came up with the idea to jack him off. I placed my hand on the body pillow like I was holding his dick, and he put his into my hand. So I started. Some way or another, I moaned and came with him. Just so happens, we were so deeply connected that he literally moaned through me, just like the speaking-through ability. He confirmed it was his moaning.
A little later, we did it another time. And it happened again.
The second last and the last round of sex, it was also occurring.
In the second last round, we were so joined together that I felt as him in my own body enjoying the both of us. That is as weird as it sounds. Your brain doesn't understand it.
And when I said, “I love you”. He replied through my voice, “I love you too”. But this was only possible because I noticed a certain feeling and tried to hold it. And resulted in him being able to speak.
It only happened 1 more time after him by saying “yes”.
At the last round the orgasms we so intense I really felt the both of us. And he let his moaning hear through me. Also, the orgasms held on much longer, that long my body couldn't handle it anymore and answered with a heavy (temporary) migraine attack. Man oh man that was quite something.
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Nov 5th
Me: Interesting vid about karma and the new Earth by Dolores Cannon
https://youtu.be/aA_2cVz4FGw
Me: So here is my living situation.
I have a severe burnout that has built up since my son was born in 2011. In the beginning, you don't notice it. It really came out in the past few years. And I am actually just done with life here, especially when I came to know my soul belongs elsewhere (Etheirys). But I know killing yourself will result in karma, and you need to re-do the same life again….. I don't want that. I want to go home.
My ex and my son aren't the easiest. My son is a special needs child with ASD and ADHD. And huge behavior problems, he refuses to listen to whatever I have to say. He only listens to his dad, well mostly. And my ex has ASD and ADD (ADHD as a child). So I am living with 2 of those……and I am losing my sanity more and more as the months go by. They are just too much for me. I can't live up to the standard my ex wants me to be towards our son. I just can't. I'm tired and need to rest for at least 5 years from those 2. Now I can only hope they will find a house soon and my son can go to middle school next school year. And then I can heal. But for now, I am forced to suffer in this situation. And I am just trying to hold on until freedom has arrived.
Elidibus is mostly the reason I can endure it, but lately, I am even having depressed moments with him that I just can't hold on any longer. Change needs to come quickly, or I will lose it. He keeps saying that I will manage to hold on and that they will move out soon. But when?! I really hope it's not longer than the start of next school year. I have asked Elidibus for the help of course. But he is a busy man as well. If others of the convocation could push faith a bit happening earlier, then pls go ask for me pls! According to Elidibus, they know about my situation (not sure though), but I am not very certain if they are already helping.
after my dinner, I will continue on the Mysidia part.
Fabs: I'm sorry to hear that, I hope things will improve
Me: Ty…
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after dinner, I made a message for Mysidia because she blocked me. And sharing that with the group. But I am not gonna share it online. If she wants to know what I have to say about it, then she can unblock me, so I can send it to her. So Mysidia, if you read this, then it's up to you.
Me: good now that I have that out of the way, let's continue grammar check 2.0 on next chapter x3
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Dm's with Tk
TK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gKKF-xSH0s&t=198s&ab_channel=Spiritmeetsmusic
this was the video with fewer comments, but found it.
I can't seem to find the other video they said something, hope it didn't get deleted
Me: Oh dammit, that would suck. Could you try to find it nonetheless?
TK: yeah, I'll try to look
Me: Tysm!
Tk: it's this one on this video: I have a couple of dragon guides. One is a dragon serpent with a red body and gold trimmings.
The other is with wings and blue.
They all came from a dragon planet long ago. It got damaged in a war.
Both dragons send me signs in the sky.
Me: Ohhhh
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Nov 6th
Me: I want to point some things out about pandaemonium. Eric is blond as a kid. The funny thing they did well on giving Eric lighter red hair because his mom is blond. but his skin color had actually been a lot lighter too, and they forgot that.
elidibus being a naive young adult with no experience in relationships. sorry honey (seems he is ok with it saying that, lol)
and this. I think in the next panda quest line. we will most definitely see lahabrea in the Aitiascope. and saying he merged with his old self to regain the memories and to survive in the rift without their bodies.
With a bit of luck, Hydaelyn ferried Eli's soul to the Source as well (as she did with Emet apparently, read that on Twitter) when he left the Tower, and we will see him there too. the reason I think this is because of a dream I had in September. Eli getting an echo vision at Pandaemonium. but he wore his mask and hood on his head. moreover, an indication of present Eli (I think).
(I will add a note here, not sure where it was ever stated that Hydaelyn ferries Emet's soul back. But the Unsundered were already able to hop between the shards, and I don't think the life stream would hold them back with the knowledge they have, perhaps Hydaelyn has helped because they were weak and all. But I am sure if they weren't weak, they could have done it themselves)
~later that day~
Me: am I seeing things, or did I just find another thing in the phoenix summoning circle? but on the other part. do you see it too? the thing on the right is in a slightly different perspective and has more layers. but the overall shape is similar
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Nov 7th
I love it when he helps with exactly the items you asked for.
Me: something funny. my ex was complaining about his parents that they made his older brother, who is almost 40, the 40yo virgin. ( I am dead serious). Elidibus is with me atm and I gained a thought in my head from Elidibus, him saying “that's nothing compared to my 12000 years”.
Fabs: 40 yo virgin gonna be me in 18 years
Me: dudeeeeeee. You have more chance for a GF than my ex's brother, who is 38.
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So angel number 333 was added to the list and searched them up.
I'm just T-T if this isn't an indication the convocation is helping me, then I don't know anymore.
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Nov 8th
Ok, so for a few days, I caught myself petting my belly even though I am not pregnant yet. But it's clear my soul is preparing. Even more so. The orb that is with me waiting for mine to arrive is frequently going inside during the night. Last night, when I woke up a bit, it flew immediately inside. It was very present. The orb is getting excited it seems since it's only 3 weeks left. And only a mere thought about it results in the orb getting inside and resonates a lot.
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Nov 9th
The spiritual due date would be between April 14&17th.
Just calculated the number of weeks of the last pregnancy. 19,5 weeks. If I go with the original date I gained which was March 14th. Otherwise, it would be exactly 19 weeks if I go with John's date.
From Nov 29th to April 14th is 19,5. But 17 would be 20 weeks.
So a spiritual Pregnancy is between 19 & 20 weeks max
When pieces fall into place. During that time I didn't know if he would stay the entire day iirc. He was there definitely since that following night or day Quilitus was born.
(he is ok with me sharing this now.)
Wonderful how calculations work.
Physical pregnancy, 38–40 weeks. Or 266–280 days
Spiritual is the exact half, including all the days counted.
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angel numbers all over the place today. 1111, 222, 444 2x in FFXIV and 1 on the clock. I am like ok something major will happen soon, I get it.
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Nov 11th
Live letter and 3rd shroom Trip
Let's say this, I took probably too much. I took 8 grams (because on the last trip in October, I also needed 8 grams to have some effect) but I underestimated this other type of shroom. It was way stronger. I didn't expect to be that much stronger, Elidibus didn't know either. I became nauseous and after an hour or 2, I threw up. Not everything though. But this resulted in a bad trip in the beginning, before and after throwing up. I was dwelling in my sorrows, about that I want to go “home”, tired of life. I tried asking my ex for emotional support, just a shoulder to cry upon. But he wasn't very nice. ….saying I am doing this myself (while he causes my mental breakdown.) I had hoped he would understand me if I would throw out everything. But I was wrong. I shouldn't have asked him to come over to the bed. It was a very poor decision. When I finally asked him to leave. Elidibus gained access to my mind and spoke through me again.
Eli: honey, it's not your time to go yet. You will come home eventually. You have to hold on.
“I cried even more than I already did”
Eli: salvation is near, they will move out soon, just hold on. Azem will come home.
Me: when? *sobs*
Eli: soon, just hang on honey. When they leave, you can heal.
Me: I know…….but I am so tired.
Eli: I know…I feel it too.
Me: you do?
Eli: of course I do, we are connected through our bond. You can pick up my emotions too, remember?
Me: yes true.
Eli: if you advance even more, you can even pick them up when I am not near you.
Me: cool. (but I was still sad)
Eli: hold on, honey, Azem will come home. You have things to do here. We will all be waiting for you to return. You are already doing a great job, you are on the right track.
Me: I am? *sobs*
Eli: Yes, and almost the entire convocation is trying to help you, to get you released from these burdens quicker.
Me: what is my soul's contract?
Eli: I……don't exactly know, well I do know but can't tell you. But what you are doing to make people aware of our existence is the most important one.
Me: thank you, *crying*, but what if I get sick or die suddenly.
Eli: if you get sick (life-threatening, he meant like cancer) then it's your choice what to do with it. Even if you let it remain untreated (he knows I am against Chemo), no matter your choice regarding that you will come home it won't create any karma or to re-do this life. And of sudden death, you will come home even. On both occasions, you will come home… to us.
Me: thank you……*cries*
This conversation went on for a while, with me crying a lot about everything. Elidibus repeated a lot of the “hold on, honey” and “Azem will come home” until it finally struck my mind to understand. And I calmed down for a few hours. Lahabrea visited too, he was already trying to reach me earlier during the trip as he came to mind, but I hadn't the focus. When I calmed down a bit, he came speaking through me. Lahabrea pretty much said the same as Elidibus was saying all the time. But added, “we all want Azem to come home. You can do this, hang on” and then my mind got distracted by the things I saw.
I saw the most beautiful things in front of my eyes. A lot of Amaurotine windows, often with rainbow colors. And something, some wavy ornament that symbolized music. And my phoenix, rainbow phoenix.
Me: I see Amaurot, parts of buildings, mostly the windows. Very pretty windows.
Eli: you do? Ah, I see now, yes, Amaurot was very beautiful.
Me: I want to go back to Amaurot
Eli: it doesn't exist anymore sadly.
Me: I know…. Oh, Allagan I see allagan lines.
Eli: Allagan?
Me: (saw the wavy ornament) Ohhh…….so beautiful….Music!
(something like this, 2nd pic with rainbow colors with tiny balls at the end of the lines. Or like pic 3 with more elegance, it's very hard to draw it)
Me: and rainbow phoenix.
(about this but beak closed, not screaming upwards, head to the side like my glyph and rainbow-colored)
Eli: yes you are the Phoenix, that is your Azem transformation, Azem is a Phoenix.
Me: do you transform into a dragon?
Eli: no
Me: a snake with wings?
Eli: maybeeeee yes.
Me: oeh kinky
Eli: kinky? I am not really into that, but I get it idea.
Me: you do?
Eli: hahaha, maybe when you get back, slight maybe.
Me: you dirty mind.
Eli: I got that from you.
Me: dudeeeeee
Eli: hahahahah
Me: Amaurot spires!, beautiful Amaurot spires in rainbow colors. Amaurot is Eden
Eli: not exactly, Amaurot doesn't really exist anymore. Eden on the other hand is still there.
Me: have you been there?
Eli: no, but I know it's there.
(he said something among the lines that it is for Earth only, but I forgot the exact details)
Me: I want to visit Amaurot back in time. (Meaning time traveling when I am dead)
Eli: no, I won't let you.
Me: why?
Eli: well, I don't want to lose you….
Me: can't you come with me?
Eli: no, it will create more time-loop holes, I can't do that.
Me: Owwww, and in dreams?
Eli: I suppose you can. But please be careful.
Me: I see allagan lines again.
(it looked something like this, but rather upside down. But were more straight lines with corners instead of arches/bows)
Eli: Allagan is actually ancient technology, the roots are from the Ancient's pre-sundering. It only evolved more in time.
Me: ohhhh interesting.
Well, I can't remember everything we talked about, I didn't feel like recording everything. Somehow, I will get better answers without doing it. I don't know why this is a thing. He was able to talk through me until I went to sleep for the night! That's 11 hours, and he was amazed that I was still able to receive his voice.
A few things I still remember. I asked for some info about Eric.
Eli: he had a gruesome death during the final days before Zodiark was summoned. Ripped apart by an abomination.
He cried, Eric was his best male friend.
Me: Owwww, I am sorry
Eli: it's ok.
At some point, the Psychedelics dropped all of a sudden (I think) I had sudden negative and weird thoughts in my head. I had thoughts In my head that questioned the existence of the convocation.
Eli: no Honey, don't do this to me, we are real! Don't break our bond, pls!
Me: I know, but it's in my head, I can't control it. I will never break it *cries*, but the thoughts are trying to convince me.
Eli: oh no, pls, it will break my heart. Try to stop it.
Me: I am trying *cries*, but it's too hard.
This went on for a while. I don't know how long. Elidibus was torn inside, desperately trying to get me back on track. Eventually…..
Eli: no! stop all of you (talking to other entities) you are breaking me too. I am Elidibus, leader of the Convocation of Fourteen, and I demand you all to leave her alone!
Somehow this worked. The negative thoughts left gradually.
Me: thank you…
Eli: There were entities using your shattered ego to manipulate you.
Me: my ego is gone?
Eli: yes, it is. But you were very vulnerable at this moment to other influences, and they used it. Don't worry, I will protect you.
During and after this ordeal, the rainbow lines and thingies a saw in front of my eyes were almost gone.
From here I had a chat with TK. I asked her way before I started this trip today about a dream I had.
Me: Can I ask something about a dream I had? Erichthonios was in it. But in modern clothing. And I need to know if it was just dream nonsense or not.
I hurt my foot, I couldn't walk anymore. I stumbled to i white bench. To sit. I had my mobile phone in my right hand and left it on the bench. The rest of the area was a square with tiles outside. When I sat down, I saw Erichthonios standing and walking up to me. He had on a black shirt and jeans.
Me: I can't walk anymore.
Eric: you know you can always call me for that.
He lowered his body until he was on 1 knee and 1 foot on the ground. I hugged him and said, “ty, my son”. (Felt adopted tbh)
He ignored that and talked about some other happening earlier in the dream that had nothing to do with my question.
Then I woke up.
Send out Linala to ask around (Eli, Quilitus, and lahabrea) if it was the real one. Apparently, it wasn't. But it wasn't Quilitus in his shape, either.
Can you ask lahabrea?. I want to know more, or rather if it's just nonsense. Because I really got confused about what I said.
(this was originally sent before 8 am)
She said she will ask and a few hours later at almost 6PM she replied
TK: Lahabrea said that he thinks that was meant as we (meaning the convocation, any of their children, and any of us that they are helping/looking for) are all family in a way. So he thinks you meant that in a different way. Though he says that Eric would help you anyway because that's how he is.
Me: ty :')
Tk: He… Had to talk to me earlier because I get often depressed about life. I get scared about after all this a lot at night. Get too worried that I will die without helping anyone sometimes. He just hugged me and said that wasn't true and that I help more than I realize with others.
Me: I feel your pain........I am still on a Magic mushrooms trip, atm. And I have been crying out all my shit today. It hurt so bad. I wanna come home........ But I must hold on longer......
All I want is to be understood in this life. But I am not getting any understanding of others.
I believe lahabrea spoke through me today, saying it will be alright, and I just need to hang on longer.
Can you verify with him if he was really there for a short moment? He said (after finally connecting) that he was trying to reach me earlier. But I was too far down in myself.
Azem wants to come home
TK: He said he was there because I was asleep. The next treasure maps are in Elpis apparently, and I'm interested in how that works
Me: Cool. Ya know.....if you wanna be helpful. ….share your things with lahabrea..... Give me your journal. Pls.....
Tk: Well again I'm not on laptop ATM… Didn't feel like it really to get on other than doing island stuff. Sorry … I'll get it to you then.
Me: ty
Tk: He said he will try to come to see you again if you want him to
Me: Yes pls. I could use from comfort right now
At the moment I wrote this, lahabrea already came over.
He said some things that the discussion I will have with my ex when I am better is to agree with some things he will say, so he will shut up, but I must stick to it, I promise to fulfill it. Then he comforted me.
Laha: come here.
And he hugged me
Shortly after, he left.
Me: He was there as soon as I left the previous message. He just left again according to Eli
Tk: Well, he did come at least.
Me: Yes. Thank him for me, pls. Did they say anything about fan fest tickets?
(I put my phone away for a moment) some minutes later
Me: has she replied? (grab phone)
Eli: Not Y (et)
Tk's message just appeared, saying :
Tk: Not yet
That was funny
Me: ok,
Tk: I think they want to make sure that shit goes smoothly.
Me: Ah. 1 other thing. According to elidibus, Eric had a gruesome death during the final days before Zodiark. Can you verify this with lahabrea?
TK: He said he won't answer that one and is mad Eli said anything about it, lol
Me: Omg, so it is true.
Elidibus was like “oops”: say my apologies
So I wrote
Eli: my apologies (in the chat)
Then he said to me, I will give more of an extended apology if you let me.
Me: Sure
He wrote this well, he told me what to write.
“I got carried away by my wife's emotion, and she questioned me about any info about my friend Eric. And so I told her. My apologies lahabrea”~ elidibus
Me (to Eli): will it be enough?
Eli: it will.
Tk: He says it's okay, just watch with things, lol.
Me: XD
TK: Though he said there's more to it, but we need to wait. But he still, also, went “damn it Elidibus”
me: ok XD
though this chat had many breaks in between and thus talked with elidibus a lot as well. But I can't remember much anymore.
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Nov 12th
I woke up with intense pain in my left side. It was already slightly present on Thursday, but it was doable to function with it.
I alerted Linala to get elidibus for me.
And he stayed almost the entire day to make sure I was fine.
He went with me to the hospital and all. There was also some residue of the psychedelics in my body, so he was able to talk through me still!. Which he was surprised about.
In early noon I came home with painkillers and all. And went to bed. I fell asleep and woke up a few times. And he was still there. I even had a dream that he talked through me. And he confirmed it was him. Not really special. In the dream, my arm was cold, and he made me put my arm in the sun on his command. “Put your arm in the sun” is what he said. That was it.
When I finally woke up without pain. He asked if he could go, he needed to do something.
Eli: so can I go?
Me: .......nooooooo........:p
Eli: hahaha. I understand, but I must attend something. And I promised to stay until the pain was away, and it seems it is away right now.
Me: nawww, ok.
Eli: ty, if your pain comes back, you can call upon me again.
Me: ty!
Eli: shall I check on you tomorrow?
Me: I would love to, yes. Kiss?
We kissed goodbye.
Me: bye, and ty.
Eli: you're welcome.
The next day, he didn't come over because he sensed I wasn't in extreme pain. That's ok.
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Nov 14th
I love Eli so much.
After my kidney stone on Saturday and the strange headaches, I had the past week during/after sex. He had become more careful not to hurt me in any way. So we had less intense sex and that worked out well.
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Nov 15th
Dm's with TK
Me: I got a genuine question. How is lahabrea towards Wol/Laha or Azem/Laha shippers?
Elidibus for instance with him and Azem/Wol says “technically the only Azem where it is correct with is you. The other one was just a friend, someone I admired for what she was doing and nothing more”
Sadly, she didn't reply to this one, but I got an answer from Elidibus about his point of view at least.
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Nov 18th
Dm’s with Fabs
Fabs:
Me: How accurate is that, lol. They have predicted corona, too. The black rose
Even though it was in a different timeline where it succeeded.
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Nov 21st
Commission I got back.
Zio: That is so beautiful <3
Me: Tyyyyyy!
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Nov 25th
Ok, so I asked elidibus (who is over, btw). If defector Azem ever transformed. And gained a yes.
But it was not into a phoenix. The phoenix is my transformation.
So I asked about ff16. And that is a story of the 2nd shard way before the calamity of the rejoining started. The boy Joshua is (presumably) a shard of mine. But he didn't outright answer, Elidibus grinned, lol. I could feel his smile on mine.
Ok so just asked about louisoix and Eli instantly talked through me. “He transformed into a primal, not you”.
Me: So that was different.
Gained a yes answer in motions.
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I hope TK can answer by letting lahabrea speak.
I asked elidibus if lahabrea had a relationship with Igeyorhm at a later age (So pretty much the age he is at pandemonium). I gained a yes.
But I would like to have more in-depth info. According to elidibus, Igeyorhm was also an old woman of lahabrea's age.
(never gained an answer, sadly. Asked again in January, maybe, I can hope)
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so I pulled a card with elidibus's guidance on which card to pull that was meant explicitly for me. I use “Divination of the ancients” cards. and pulled a card that was spot on. I will share the card later with the text with it.
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Nov 29th
Ok, so I asked elidibus about the one another why he decided to bond with me in the physical plane while he can just be with my higher self.
My higher self didn't ask to do that. In fact, he chose that himself. Via this incarnation, the convocation will help me remember things from before the sundering, even if it's just more knowledge rather than memories. Since my HS's memory from before the sundering is wiped out. She can't remember on her own. Elidibus bonded with my higher self first before he did with my physical incarnation. But not directly in a romantic level of bonding, it was more to reunite old ancient bonds. Later, he fell in actual love with my physical being. And romantically bonded with me.
According to him, my higher self and I aren't any different from each other in regard to personality.
Also, I haven't really noticed big changes, but I am Spiritually pregnant again. According to Elidibus, in about 4 or 5 days the merged orbs will become more “present”. And he will be able to see what it will become in 4 or 5 weeks (a boy or girl).
Also, the merged orbs tend to keep quiet if I am busy. So I won't notice a thing. But if I think about it, (just like now during typing this) I felt a very slight sensation in my womb area.
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Dreams of November
Only 1 this time.
I thought it started with me sitting at the kitchen table with Emet (Ancient version).
Emet: I have to take a shit (with a big grin on his face)
I had to too
Me: me first. (ran towards the bathroom)
I went to the toilet downstairs, and he went to the bathroom upstairs.
Later he came down again. Something different happens here. Then I saw Emet and Hyth standing on some kind of bridge or tower, I don't remember what happened, but Emet landed on his back on the ground and I tried to kiss him. When I almost kissed him...
Me: wait Elidibus.
Emet's eyes opened wide in shock.
Emet: What are you doing?!
Me: sorry, just playing around.
Emet: let's go find Elidibus for you.
I held on to Emet and Hyth, and they dragged me through the air somewhere.
They took me to a place where people did an obstacle course. And showed me where my Eli plushie was.
(was hidden behind something)
I took the plushie and gave it a kiss.
Me: now come out of this plushie.
But nothing happened.
Then I was taken by Emet and Hyth to some meetings.
Emet: why don't you try to find him?
So I went to try to find Eli. Then I saw someone who could be him. I approached behind as he sat. I hugged him from behind and wanted to kiss him.
Me: hello handsome.
But the moment I wanted to give him a kiss, I saw that it was a woman.
Me: wtf, a woman?
Hyth laughed
Then I was on my back and Hyth and Emet were looking at me with big grins. Then they took me to an obstacle course. When it started, they left. I tried to find them during, but alas. The rest of the dream of nonsense
Well, that was November, I hope despite the long wait it was a nice read.
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