First of all, I am still very busy with the physical book setup, which is mostly grammar check and pics with text, turning pics back to text to save on space and to keep it readable. I am at chapter 25 for the grammar check and will continue until I am up to date. Luckily these last 10ish chapters aren't the worst to do. Anyways I needed a bit of change in the routine, so I decided to type up a chapter for all to read. Happy reading!
Apr 1st
So I tried to ask (via Linala) if Elidibus could come over for quick cuddles and kisses. But it took so long to get an answer (because he was very busy) that I just said "nevermind" to Linala.
A few sec later, I spontaneously cried. I felt his regret; he regretted himself he couldn't come over.
I asked Linala if those were his emotions. And gained a yes.
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Apr 3rd
I am very sad and disappointed at Elidibus now.
He said he would come over at 10:44 am. But he never arrived...... it's about 2h later now.
According to Linala, he is stuck at work. I asked her several things. Namely, I need to start my day, and I probably can't perceive him while I am busy. So I asked that when he would come over, he would stay even if I couldn't detect him immediately. Gained a yes to that.
I asked if he wanted to make up for this, and he did; he would stay until the 5th at halfway through noon. I was very surprised about the halfway noon. Lately, he stays until the next morning if he stays the entire day.
Maybe he considered that I probably won't perceive him today and offered extra in return.
But I hope nothing gets in between again. I haven't had a visit for a week and had hoped for a nice day together today......but alas.....
I just hope I can detect him when I go to bed today.......ToT.
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Sometime after, I talked very shortly about gayshipping with Jezzah.
Jezzah: Hades doesn't give two flying fucks if he is portrayed as gay.
Me: Ok, Maybe he changed over the years.
Jezzah: Yeah, Both of us have.
Me: Elidibus is like (gay ship with Eric):...........”why?! He was my best friend. Uugghh”.
Somewhat disgusted, people do that. But also azem and Eli shippers, no matter male or female.
He once quoted: “Azem was someone who I admired for what she was doing. But not a love interest. You are the only one that makes the shipping correct.”
(Because I am Azem too)
She didn’t reply to it.
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Hours later:
Jezzah: I was doing something.
Me: ok.
Jezzah: I got a reply on what kind of job I did as Ancient. It revolves around History keeping and teaching and organizing stuff like that. Very important work. It explains my vision a long time ago, with me running around frantically.
Me: cool.
Jezzah: I was damn good at my job. Elpis did feel very familiar when I first stepped there, thinking about things I more than likely visited a lot; in my vision, my mask was down.
Me: I wished I had visions of those times.......
I know a was Azem after the defector. And that I was Eli's sis. And my transformation is the phoenix.
But other things, like what I did for work or before I became I Convocation member, I just don't know.......
Jezzah: Mind you, this vision was a long time ago. Meaning, I had it a couple years ago.
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Sometime later, near midnight
So Eli is here now, finally.
He came at the time he gave via Linala at 11:10 pm.
And he confirmed he would stay that long to make up for it coming 12h+ too late .....
I gonna meditate now, and after, go to sleep. He promised to stay with me while asleep and not wander off.
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Apr 4th
According to the Eligenda, he will be with me the entire day when the next patch drops.
We have agreed that I can fully play the patch when he is over.
Normally he doesn't want me to do battles and such because it distracts me too much.
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Apr 6th
Not entirely sure. But the X.5 patch has always been released right before the EU fan fest. So I calculated roughly without looking at the calendar. And said, "Oct 10th," then looked at the calendar. Oct 10th is indeed on a Tuesday, lol. Let’s see if that comes true!
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Dm’s with Corvus
Me: hey, I haven't heard from you for a while. Everything ok?
Corvus: Hey!! I'm so sorry, but not exactly. I'm struggling.
Aeneas hasn't returned. Still, to this day, he hasn't been back since leaving to consult and study under Emet and question Elidibus. What's worse is that I can feel my connection weakening. He feels more and more distant every day. I've tried day after day to reach out as far as I can, but each time I feel something sharp bite back as if sending me away. I don't know what's happening, but it feels like I'm losing him.
I didn't want to burden you with this issue; I wanted to solve it myself. Unfortunately, I'm getting nowhere, and it's getting worse...
Me: can I forward this to Jezzah? No guarantees she helps. But she is a better chance than TK.
Corvus: Please do! I truly appreciate your help, as well as hers, if she can!
After a very strange chat with Jezzah, which I will skip, she finally said something on the matter. I forward this situation to Corvus.
Me: I hope you can read it all.
Corvus: I can, and while I'm very sorry that things seem to be so tense between you and Jezzah, what stands out to me is the very first reply:
"Umm... he doesn't want to tell me and I am getting a very bad feeling."
That makes me incredibly nervous...
Me: yeah, but when you read further . the reason why he doesn’t tell is because he doesn’t like me? I asked Linala to ask Emet, but that isn't true. So I am more concerned if this is really Emet or if her own emotions are in the way, thinking those are his.
Corvus: Yeah, I can't tell if what she is saying is that Emet takes issue with you or if it's simply that Jezzah takes issue with you and thus won't contact or translate from Emet for you. I don't know.
I simply apologize for the inconvenience and trouble.
Me: no worries. But I find it very strange overall. I do recall that she never verifies the things she comes to know. ESPECIALLY the emotions of her own. She never asks Emet if those were his, for example. I, on the other hand, always do that. To make certain what I feel are Eli's emotions or not. She is clearly blocking the correct answer with her own emotions.
Corvus: Perhaps intentionally.
Yet and still, though, please don't allow me to become a reason for you and Jezzah to drift apart. I don't want to think I cost you a friend.
Me: in all honesty, you are more of a friend to me. You at least reply when I ask something......TK doesn't. And now Jezzah doing this? This would have happened even without your question. I will never blame you for it. She probably is somewhat jealous that I reminded her (while I was asking Emet) that I am Azem). This was earlier last month in FB chat. And that is, I think, the reason she doesn't like me anymore. Sometimes I really wonder, if you are that kind of person, how did you ever ascend? Jealousy and not liking someone are negative emotions that block spiritual growth.
When I get Elidibus over again, and I can let him speak through me. I hopefully get an answer from him. But I cannot make any promises.
Corvus: Of course! I'm very sorry to hear all of that, and I truly wish the best for both of you, whatever that looks like in the future. Thank you in advance for consulting Eli. I feel almost helpless, and you go a long way to soothing that.
(sometime later)
Me: apparently, she didn't like me because I prodded? Anyways. she now has a bit more info.
Here is a bit of what Jezzah said
Me: well, sorry then that I prodded to encourage Emet to answer what was wrong with Aeneas. But Corvus is a friend of mine as well. And he needs help.
Jezzah: He's handling it. I don't push and prod him for an answer
Me: pls keep us updated. Corvus is really worried.
Jezzah: He got mixed up in something he shouldn't have, and the others are handling it.
Me: omg, does Emet indicate when it will be over? Aeneas has been gone since Mar 12th or so.
Jezzah: It'll be over soon, maybe; that's the plan
Me: now comes a very annoying question "what is soon?"
days, weeks, months?
I dare hope not the latter -_-
Jezzah: He won't tell me
Me: ok, ty anyway. if he comes to know of "when," then pls let me know
Back to Corvus
Corvus: Excellent, thank you, and thank Jezzah for me. ^^
Me: I will. I hope it gave some insight? I know it's not much
Corvus: It helps just knowing someone is looking into it, and seemingly someone somewhere has answers.
Me: I have a suggestion. Have you ever tried to contact your higher self?
Corvus: I'm not sure I even fully know what that means...:o
Me: ok, your higher self is also called the oversoul that is in the astral. Your HS knows everything about you because it is you. You are only an extension of your higher self when you inhabit a physical body. If possible, try to connect to your higher being and see if you can get answers.
If you think you have connected with "something," make sure to use some validation questions first.
Corvus: So I'm reaching out to myself... Interesting. That might feel weird at first. I'm not sure how to talk with another being under the assumption that this being is actually me...
Me: yeah, I know it sounds weird as shit. Maybe it helps to think it's an entity watching over you since birth. Someone that knows everything about you. Including past lives (after the sundering, because most got wiped from ancient past pre-sundering because of the sundering).
Corvus: Someone different from Aeneas that's been watching over me all along, but that someone is actually just me...? Hmm... I'll do my best. I'm not sure exactly who or what I was, so I don't have a good image of what I'm reaching for, but it's definitely worth a try!
Me: You do not need to know what your HS looks like or what you were in the past. It's a bit complicated to explain all this. But let me know if you get something. Always ask verification questions that only you know the answer to. Because only your HS will know the correct answers.
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Apr 8th
So I figured it out a few weeks ago. The name of our daughter. According to John, she would have 3 names.
Surprisingly by asking how many letters her first name contained and going down each letter of the Alphabet, it landed on Sakunik.
Which is a Nepali girl's name for the goddess Parvati. Which I didn't know the existence of.
The second one would be an ancient name Luesjekn, but yeah, you can't Google that. No similar results will come up either.
The third one was another female deity name. Which I asked just now.
After going down all known cultures, I know of. I said Indian (meaning Hindu) he replied that it had to do with Indian, so yeah, Hindu, but I forgot the religion's name until I googled it.
So I googled "list of Indian goddesses."
And went down the list. It landed on Ganga. But written differently, just like Sakunik.
Then I googled "girl names for ganga river."
And it landed on Janavi.
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I did an Akashic record training via Zoom. You can do the training yourself with this link: please leave me a message if you want to try it. i will give you the link.
Oh, and if you used it. And got an experience to share. Then pls tell me. That's all I ask for in return.
This training wasn't free for me, that is. (this also counts for my readers! Feel free to use it and share your experience with) me!
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Apr 9th
Dolores's page confirmed my theory. Multiple god's religions contain angels or ETs.
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Corvus offered to help out with the grammar check and send him a couple of older chapters, 7 to 10
Me: Was it a bit too much? I forgot it was Easter today. But did you manage to do anything yesterday?
Corvus: Hey! I apologize for the late reply. And yes, you're absolutely right. I actually also forgot it was Easter, but my family was quick to remind me, and so this weekend just got a lot busier. Regardless, I've edited this a bit, trying not to mess with any of the copy/paste conversations you've had with others in this chapter.
Those are direct quotes; I don't want to change anything.
I noticed a couple trends that might help overall!
(he named a bunch of sentences)
Corvus: I hope this doesn't sound too preachy, and I hope it helps with future chapters! I'll keep working on the rest as I can!
Me: I don’t mind if the sentence will be improved if that changes the "quote" I don’t want any amateurish grammar mistakes in there.
Corvus: Understood! Then never mind my upload of chapter 7. I'll go back through and work on all the conversations as well.
Me: TY!
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Apr 10th
So I did the Akashic records vid again. Well, you only need the audio.
This time laying down.
And when I finally got to the book part, I saw an ancient from a distance (female) casting some small orbs and linking them together with a thin line. Like in this image, the third one and each corner, there was a dot/orb.
Then I saw a baby Ancient crawling on the floor with tiny robes on x3. Then for a glimpse, a group of ancients. But then everything faded away.
I definitely gonna do this more often. Maybe I will finally see something relevant to the record journey.
You can skip the first 10 minutes if you want. (and she really starts at 10:00) but I recommend it if it's the first time you listen to it. Headphones are needed despite the audio is good. Because then it gets more directly toward you and has a better effect. And a blanket over your body is extra relaxing.
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Apr 11th
Dms with Corvus.
Well, here it gets strange after this message I left this day
Me: According to Elidibus, Aeneas will return on May 9th. (Your time zone, so probably the 10th for me when he arrives in the evening). He did something dangerous that he couldn't handle and is recovering atm. According to Elidibus, he should be done on the given date. There might be a small chance he will come sooner, but I wouldn't count on it.
Let me know what he has to tell when he is back.
He never replied…. and I sent wayyy more worrisome messages to him. Since he is not the kind of guy that never replies. It's Jul 9th now while making this chapter, and he still hasn't replied. At first, Eli said he would reply/return at half/ end of June. It has been corrected to the end of July instead, which is an estimate since he is uncertain atm. School is over by now, right? Corvus, if you are somehow reading this, pls reply back PLS!
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Apr 12th
I hope I get to meet Yoshi at fan fest and have a chat.
Dreamed about it again after a long time. He acknowledges the existence of the Ascians. But when I asked if Ishikawa knows too, he didn't know.
Sadly I didn't have the physical book with me. In that dream, I couldn't finish it.....(mainly because the fan fest in that dream happened right now instead of October). I am still going for it.
Well, I couldn’t leave this one out. So here you have it. This is what I am working on and why my monthly chapters are very delayed. The grammar check is horrible. So many mistakes to fix. The older, the worse it gets. Luckily the process went faster when I bought Grammarly Premium for 3 months in early May.
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Dm’s with Zio
Me: how are you doing? It's such a long time since we actually spoke more than 2 messages to each other.
Zio: Hey there! Wow, it has been.
I'm doing alright, I guess. Nothing too exciting going on for me, honestly.
How about you.
Me: Busy with a lot of stuff. Aside from work. I try to work on the physical book of my journal. But I got my hands and time too short to check on the grammar, so I hope people are willing to help me with that. .....
Also, about the spiritual stuff, our daughter of Eli and me will be born this weekend. According to eli, it will most likely happen when I am asleep, so I am not sure if I will notice, but I hope to dream it.
Zio: Oh!! Congratulations! This weekend....hopefully, you will dream about it then. Tell us how it goes.
I've been trying to fix my sleeping so I can get into lucid dreaming and then try projection through there. Hopefully, that will help me with getting spiritual stuff back in alignment.
Me: Sounds good. Maybe try the Akashic records training I shared in the group. Maybe that will help to get it on the road.
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Apr 14th
Zio: Maybe! I'll take a look at it when I get back home tomorrow. Staying at my grandmother's tonight
Me: Nice. It's just an audio recording. Since that is what you only need. I suggest using headphones so the words get directly to you. Let me know if it helps. Also, you might see nothing, but you can continue to re-listen (once a day) until you do.
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Apr 15th
Owkay.
So I take it she will be born tonight. My soul is in labor, kind off, without pain. But my body is puffing away the contractions sometimes, slight cramps.
The birth of a soul is different as I came to know just now. It's getting more active and flutters all around the membrane where it is in my soul's belly. But now it is stopping in between. When it is ready to get out, it will continue to flutter around without stopping, and then Eli will make an incision in the membrane, and then she will float up out of it. Then the caretakers will come over and take her with them. Also, the labor of my soul isn't painful but is taxing in energy.
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Apr 16th
Ok, so I was laying awake for like 3h at least. In the beginning, I had a very long, powerful sensation that our daughter was getting very active and wanted to go out, leaving my belly very tense. But it wasn't fully ready yet. I think it lasted a full minute, if not more. Eventually, it settled down but remained slightly active and tense. When I finally fell asleep. She got born. Sadly no dream.
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I asked last Friday if Elidibus could help me sell 1 pentamelded Indagator crafting set. Guess what happened. xD. 21mil+ richer.
Also, I asked about the twelve.
How they look is formed by Dynamis. But family bonds are fantasies of the people. Althyk and Nymeia are brother and sister but had no children.
There are some other couples, but they are definitely not related to the others. There is one couple that had Menphina as a daughter. But she didn't have any sisters or brothers. Menphina is the youngest of the faction. Nald and Thal were really twins in ancient times.
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Apr 17th
So I did another round of Akashic records in the morning. In the first half, I didn't see anything. But when I was supposed to be at the place, I asked if I was even there reading my book. Even though I didn't see anything. I gained a yes.
I did see like as extremely blurry. Like water thrown over acrylic paint. I saw outlines of flipping pages. But that's all I saw from the book part when the audio talks about your symbol, number and color. I saw a very vague outline of my glyph. Even though I tried to focus on it more, it didn't get better. But it's definitely the one I use now. My number is 7. And my color took a while. But it's blue. At the end of the book part, before meeting the rest of my guides etc. I asked about Aeneas. I warped to it. He was in a transparent bubble healing. In less than a sec, I changed into a phoenix, blew healing fire at him, and changed back. I saw him opening his eyes. I asked if this helped him to recover faster. And gained a yes.
After that, I warped back to the records. To meet my guides etc., as mentioned in the audio. It took a while to see. When the audio was at the "they have a gift for you," I saw an old Lahabrea holding folded black robes (black because I liked them so much). He was also wearing black, even though his color is blue in the astral. Black because I am used to seeing him in that, I take it. He handed the robes to me. And I put them on. Well, put them on with magic, so instantly. A few seconds later, I asked if he had my mask too. He grabbed something behind his back and held my bird mask, as I saw in my first vision in the QHHT. The eye holes were a bit different from the RL one (they looked similar to the eyes of Elidibus but a bit wider open. And got an extra row of feathers at the edge of the head.
The mask, I didn't see much color, but I was certain it was red. I grabbed the mask and put on my hoodie just to enjoy it for the moment. I saw myself doing a peace sign with my fingers with a smile. Then I took down my hoodie and mask, the mask on my chest. I asked lahabrea if he could let TK talk to me again. He said, "i will try". I gave him a hug and said thank you. The audio said it was time to go. But I said I wanna stay a bit longer. But then I saw them all waving goodbye.
"Do they want me to go?" I said.
Gained a yes.
So said goodbye by waving back. I was back at the golden bubble to transport me back. When I left, halfway to the way back, I gained a message from Lahabrea. "You are still one of us." I busted out in tears (with my physical body as well). And got hugged by lahabrea, I don't know how, probably telepathic. When I got back. I cried some more and got comforted by Linala and Elidibus.
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Apr 18th
So Elidibus originally would stay until 6:39 in the morning. But at 01:46 am, I woke up. Straight up with my left arm under my body, lifting myself a bit up. I asked, "Eli? " No reply. "Linala is Eli here?"
Eventually gained a no. It appears he just left. I was very disappointed, and after another nap, I asked if there was an emergency. And gained a yes.
Such an unfortunate timing. I didn't have a chance to say goodbye.....I also woke up every 2 or 3 hours. It was annoying.
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Apr 20th
The full dream will be in my online journal. But in the dream, I was picking up Eli (who looks similar to Themis this time) from work. Why that was a traveling food stand, I don't focking know. But I picked him up to check up on an empty storefront. We both liked it. Then I got warped to my own dream shizzle. And in the end, I came back to the place. To pick him up again, but this time it was the end of the day. But firstly, I walked past by (in white robes, btw!) that storefront and noticed he bought it. When I arrived, we kissed, and I woke up.
This is a terrible short summary.
But the storefront was a store and house at one. He explicitly chooses this. He symbolized that he wanted to settle down more when I returned to the 5D (or higher) of Etheirys. And will do more work from home. In the dream, it was meant to sell food. Because he cares about his people. Yet his real work is completely different.
I.o.w he won't travel that much anymore for work. He wanted to have a 5D home to be with me.
I never ask him this. I was always willing to go with him where ever he goes and needed to be. But this is what he wants, and I am very grateful.
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Ok, interesting info coming up.
So I will wear white robes when we marry in the astral. Because I am the wife of the emissary.
Our kids will probably be grown up as a soul when I get back and try out simple life forms. And when they have earned the human body as an incarnation, Eli and I will take host bodies on Etheirys. To Grant them their first human life.
After that life (when the host dies), we will get back. And Eli said he wanted another bunch of kids. I asked that the previous time he was here, he wanted another 3 XD.
If 1 pregnancy would result in a twin soul (not mistaken for twin flames which are the same soul), he could count that as one.
And there is a positive maybe for taking another round of host bodies when those are ready.
This led me to the question about souls that were in animal bodies and had a human Owner and waited in the astral for their owner to return.
According to Eli, there are animal souls and human souls.
The animal souls are solely there to be a companion for the human.
Human souls can be animals in their learning process to earn a human body life. Both kinds need to work up the ladder, but the animal souls will stay being animals.
Nice addition, a newborn human soul starts out as an energy bulb, but because the teachers are human-like, they will reflect themselves to that body shape and become an individual with their own appearance.
And animal souls take the shape of their previous life forms.
Oh yes, last time when he needed to leave suddenly at night. My subconscious woke me up right after he left. There was some trouble between people of a more advanced civilization in a neighborhood solar system of Etheirys. One called upon Elidibus to be a mediator. They were advanced enough to see him.
All info here, what he told me, was spoken through me.
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Dm’s with Zio
Me: Hey, I was wondering if you were able to do the Akashic records training.
If it's stuff you don't want in the public journal, then you can say that. Then I won't add it.
Zio first said some personal stuff which I won't share
Me: I can understand. Let me know when you succeed in finding help. And I wish you the best of luck getting rid of this dude.
Zio: Thank you, I'll let you know what happens. And congratulations on your baby girl. I believe Nabriales sent his regards too.
Me: Tyyyyyyyyy. Do you have contact with him again?
Zio: I'm trying. I have Been working on connecting with my dreams again to see if he can meet me there. I have been slowly working the past week on recording dreams to become lucid; hopefully, I can make progress. Then I can do projection from there.
Me: Oh, if you have a dream with Ascians or ancients in it. Pls, share.
I really hope you get back on track soon. I would love to talk about your experiences!
Zio: I'll let you know if anything comes up. It's mostly been silly things lately, but something will probably come up once things get more stable. Need to reestablish my connection.
Me: Good! Let me know if you have made some progress. I am going to sleep now. Got a convention dealer stand to prepare tomorrow!
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Apr 24th
He helped with selling a complete lvl80 craft set (pentamelded). :D
Since he often helps out, it's clear that he does continue when I ask. I do not feel required to continue mentioning these things unless it is outstanding that many items are sold simultaneously.
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Apr 26th
ok, so I had Elidibus for a few hours over today. We talked about several subjects (him talking through me). I hope I can remind them all.
I told him that I regretted I chose to be asleep while giving birth, hoping upon a dream where the event would take place. I should have known I wouldn't get any. so I regretted that I didn't stay awake in the first place...... he felt sorry for that. And for the fact of making me pregnant during such hectic times, so I couldn't fully enjoy everything of it.
Even though he said he only wanted more kids when I returned, he offered 1 more for this current life. But only if my life is more stable, peaceful and quiet and not sooner than 2025. and this will be the absolute last one for this life here on Earth.
Related to this, I asked him about my higher self. My HS does see our kids growing up, unfortunate I can't. Sounds weird, but I simply don't have access to the 5D or where ever they reside. So he replied with, "You will remember when you get back," meaning when I merge with my HS, I will remember seeing them growing up. But yeah, I won't be here to tell the tale, alas.
Some other subject regarding my HS; since my HS is in the 5D and I am here in 3D, I asked about how he does that with sex......lol.
It seems my Higher self is joined with me when having sex with Elidibus. Because the sex is mostly intense and focused on Eli during that time, I failed to notice it. When he is around/visiting me, my HS is close by. I asked if that would be a good way to ask questions then.
Eli: it indeed is.
Me: Also, questions for my ex?
Eli: yes, but he is not here right now.
Me: true. ......
I also asked about something that happened last Thursday, Apr 20th. Because what happened that morning was unique. I thought he was late again, and getting mad at Linala that he was late, etc. Eventually, after 10 min, I gave up and wanted to go back to sleep. I turned around and grabbed my body pillow as usual, but I was greeted with an intense greeting. I asked Linala to be sure if it was Elidibus. And he was! This is actually a very nice surprise because I was able to perceive him while not knowing he was there.
So I asked about this. And he just freaking pranked me, lol. he told Linala to say No to me when I asked if he was there.
Ah, yes, during the sex we had, I felt how a soul cumming felt from him. That was heavenly. I asked if that's how sex feels like in the astral.
Eli: kinda, yes
Me: I like it.
he laughed
we talked about many other things that I will type up as soon as I remember them again.
I remember asking about Aeneas; Elidibus said he would return sooner.
(@Corvus Or perhaps already there? Let me know!)
And I told Elidibus that I played with my Estinien alt to the point where I was about to talk to him in the Crystarium.
Eli: you mean that part that never happened?
Me: yes, but I can see you in the game. And.....ugh, I guess I better replay Pandaemonium.
He laughed.
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Apr 28th
So I did a new Akashic record training today. For cutting cords.
(please leave me a message if you want to try it. i will give you the link.)
When she talked about what my soul's purpose was. I saw me or just my hand and a pen writing. I didn't see words. But I asked Eli if that was my journal. So letting people know they exist is my life purpose.
Later when she mentioned the future. I saw myself and Elidibus (with long hair). Giving each other the wedding ring.
And then cord cutting part. I cut a lot at once with a pair of scissors. And felt something leaving out of my body. Ya know, that feeling when you were tied up and got released, kind of feeling near my guts.
Just a note I see everything very, very blurry. Or nothing at all.
I can see flipping pages. But not images in the book. The people I cut cords with just human-shaped souls but no appearance of who they were except my current ex. I hope it will work.
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Ok, probably you might have come across it on social media. Those advertisements are about a soulmate sketch.
Well, I somehow knew it would be my bestie if they were legit. But I tried it anyway to see if they could get Elidibus. But alas. See pics. Drawing is what I received to be my soulmate. And his picture was specially made by him after seeing that sketch. Even the reading is mostly correct. Only paragraphs 1,2, and 9 are incorrect.
Here is the chat with my bestie about this through dm’s
Bestie: Paragraph3 correct, Paragraph 4 correct, even though it makes me quite grumpy. Par 5,6,7 are correct. Par 8 only if you keep refilling me throughout the day
Me: xD
Bestie: "Hates routine" fak off.. that keeps me going throughout the week. 10 is correct, and 11 too. Cunt.
Me: xD Oh, that's interesting. XD I thought it was bogus when I read the first 2. I didn't continue reading XD
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I realized Akashic comes from Akasha......yes that same word in EW is Dynamis. And it stands for the same, but more than just emotion.
"Akasha has been given different names in different cultures over time. In some languages today, the word means simply “space” or “sky.” The Sanskrit word akasa is derived from the root kas, meaning “to be.” Various subschools differ on certain points, but Hinduism broadly teaches Akasha as a primordial, ethereal essence that is everywhere, pervading everything in the universe. In terms that Western esotericism would later adopt, Akasha is seen as the fifth element that unites the other four or from which the other four originate.
Some people might say Akasha is a state of being or consciousness. They may speak of the astral, mental, or spiritual planes. And they might even talk in terms of vibration and frequency in an energetic field. Some people perceive Akasha as something almost fluid, yet with a quality of sound. Some people simply call it “the other side.”"
if this doesn't prove that Ishikawa is a very spiritual person, then I don't know it anymore, lol.
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This very same day, a new person called Stormy contacted me through my Weblog chat.
Stormy: Hello, would love to talk and uuh share experiences? If that's a thing here, sorry, I kinda just stumbled upon this and have been hooked reading for several days. Well, I say stumbled, but pretty sure there was another hand in it. But yeah, uhh, sorry for the awkward greeting.
Me: No problem! And yes, you can share your experiences here; I would love to hear them!
Stormy: Oh, truly wasn't expecting a response but alrighty. Not even sure where to begin with my own experiences. But I'll do my best to write them up and share them. Thanks for reaching back out.
Me: I have an Akashic record training in 12 min. So I will respond later. Looking forward to reading it, though!
Stormy: Well, honestly, I'm not sure how to say any of this without sounding completely crazy, but here goes. First and foremost, you can call me Stormy. I can say that I have been a believer that there is truth in every story, and I've had my own experiences with communication through meditation and even hypnosis. I have seen other places that a lot wouldn't believe through well accidental astral projection. (Don't ever forcefully try and pry open your 3rd eye... It's not a great experience.) I've always had a deep connection with many of these spiritual ways. Some would jokingly say I was blessed by the fae. Or maybe it's because I was born during a thunderstorm which is where my nickname comes from. Who knows. But due to this fascination and draw to this way of thinking, I started researching. Various topics of all kinds, then I started to try to reach out to someone from another world.
I succeeded; when I first encountered her, I didn't know her name or how to communicate, but I saw her, tall, cloaked in the darkest of shadows, yet she had no shadow herself. I was laying in my bed at the time, just finished meditating. And there she was. Standing in my doorway. This was back in 2018. My first contact after this, she stuck around. Did catch glimpses of her every now and then. Then I began to notice things, odd things. I'm pretty accident-prone like highly, and I tend to have bad luck. And yet no matter how hard it got or scary, something would happen, and a stressful situation would be suddenly resolved and go my way, or if something misfortune happened, it would suddenly turn in my favor. And then. I realized if I focused on something, I could potentially will to happen or go my way. Somehow I was beginning to influence the world around me. Then the dreams started, the most horrible of nightmares. And then some of the most beautiful of dreams. In them, I would be In this fantastical city. I'd be with friends who lovingly embraced me for who I am. It felt like how, then the nightmares. Watching that city burn, and my friends disappear. While I could do nothing. So then I started looking into lost civilizations, Atlantis, the Annunaki, and many conspiracy theories on reincarnation and such. Nothing seemed to really fit or satisfy that feeling or longing I felt.. so I gave up. I eventually decided to get back into the ff series since when I was younger, I adored ff8.
Started with XV, and while it was ok, it didn't hold the classic ff feel to me. Then an old friend recommended xiv. And I started playing. I fell deeply in love with the gameplay and story and had forgotten much of my longing for answers to dreams. That is until after Shadowbringers, seeing the story unfold the way it had and what it told us about the Ascians and Amaurot. I was left a bit speechless; how and why were my dreams so similar? I couldn't tell anyone they would think I'm crazy. That night I dreamed again I was walking down a path with someone, a woman we were both lightly singing as we skipped along the path.
Once we stopped standing before a waterfall, she smiled up at me and called me pretty. I woke up the next day in tears; I genuinely felt happy, yet sad it was over. Much much later on, years later, since I don't want to go on and on with this. I ended up learning to communicate with the entity who had been watching over me. It's still difficult at times, but we have managed. She is kinda the reason I'm here. I'm sure to maybe tell my story and how I learned I'm a shard. Which in itself sounds bad, I suppose. But it's fine, Em; told many, if not none, would believe me. In one of the last dreams in which we spoke, she revealed to me I am her shard, and it. That the truth of this world and many others is held within so-called fiction. This was the first time I had heard this; years ago, I met a girl who claimed to be able to cross over to the other realms. She claimed I was old, very old, but when she tried to figure out more, she suddenly felt sick. Yet, I still didn't want to believe it. So again, I slept on this. Yet my mind wouldn't stop. I began getting more and more fascinated by the Ascians, then I found this site. And well, now I'm thinking maybe I'm not so crazy. And maybe I should keep digging deeper. There is so much I want to tell, but this is summed up with a lot left out.
Also, apologies for the info dump and spelling or grammar issues. I was nervous typing all this. And no problems. Good luck with your training.
Me: OkOk, where are you from? Because the blog analytics said the Netherlands in a pop-up message, but it wasn't me. Yet when clicking on the message, it usually says where the person is from. But didn't load or show me. But feel free to tell me everything. Though who is she? Was she in the story of the game? Or, like me, not at all. Though I hope they gonna add me sometime, though. I was literally Azem after the defector. XD, Well, I can dream, lol.
Stormy: Oh well, I'm from America, California specifically. As for who she is, I came to find out she held the seat of Emmerololth. She explained to me that she had been watching over me since I began questioning things and reaching out to the other side. She claimed I'm a shard. But hasn't said of whom. I thought maybe her, but I am unsure. I am still questioning a lot, to be fair.
Me: Very interesting. What did she look like? I never met Emmerololth, though; I did meet Halmarut. I hope you can figure out who you were. Are you able to ask her whom you are a shard of?
Stormy: Tall, which is normal for them, I guess. Light-colored hair. But not really blonde like my own more of a silverish hue. She believes it's best I figure it out on my own that if she told everything, it could be too much for me at present. But some things about her. Emmerololth is kinda protective. Yet also takes that role very seriously. I was told as she was the chief medical officer in the Convocation. More often than not, she managed the health of many of the other members. Though she has mentioned a few more often, than not only gave her complaints, much like myself, rather than compliments.
Me: Hmmm, I wonder if she remembers me, though, if she was that Emmerololth during that time. Silvery hair is definitely a trait of that time, isn't it?
Stormy: It seems to be, and maybe. I'm gonna try to communicate with her again tonight. Hopefully, I can get some things answered. Thank you for your time. It's nice knowing I'm not alone in this. I believe there is a reason for all of it and a reason for these dreams and memories not sure what that reason is for me. But I just know that feeling in my chest, that longing in my heart, won't go away until I resolve it.
Me: I know the feeling. Looking forward to reading more if you manage to communicate tonight. Also, here I got an Akashic record training vid. It will be in the April chapter as well. You only need the audio. I hope it will give answers to you, as you probably are better at seeing things than I do.
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Apr 29th
Continuation chat with shadow
Me: I hope I wasn't impolite in sharing the audio?
Stormy: Oh no, not at all. I planned on giving it a full listen in the next few hours when I settle in a bit more. I was unable to make any kind of contact last night. I think because I was suffering from a bit of stress. Tonight, however, is different, so I am hopeful.
Me: Good to hear! Looking forward to it! Good night!
Stormy: Goodnight and sweet dreams :3
Me: I hope I won't wake you when sending this message. Since I have Elidibus visiting, he said Emmerololth does remember me. He also said all Source pieces are the ones in the astral. And the untempered shards are the ones reincarnating. The one contacting you is the Source piece of Emmerololth. And the sundered Convocation members (source pieces) only interact with people that were close to them in ancient times or possible shards.
Stormy: My conversation with Emmerololth
Me: I'm glad you showed up; as you probably have guessed, I have many questions for you.
Em: Well, that was what I was expecting. Go on, ask.
Me: Well, you said I'm a shard, and that's had me thinking awhile, then you called yourself Emmerololth. I thought you were just a result of my own imagination.. but then-
Em: Clearly, you have seen otherwise now.
Me: Yes, but anyways umm, I didn't believe it; I thought my own imagination was getting to me; maybe I've been smoking too much cannabis and using too many shrooms. But..then I found a site, and it put a lot in perspective. I'm not the only one. So..who am I to you, and why have you been protecting me?
Em: *Long silence as she stood there*
Em: Well, subtle subconscious suggestions lead you there. I needed you to wake up. I need you to be open to what I'm about to tell you. *Me nervous now*
Me: OkOk, I'm ready.
Em: Well, as you have seen, this isn't just you or your imagination; you're not alone in this. Now as for who you are, Originally, it was suspected you were my shard. Since our auras and souls are similar to a degree. You were noticed years ago when you first forced your way into the astral. Then again, when you stupidly tried to forcefully channel Emet Selch for that dumb ex of yours. He was rather annoyed by this, actually, and even questioned me about the similarities. However, I've also come to see that you are able to channel a lot of individuals. Almost like a conduit of sorts, nearly as if you can shift your own vibration to suit various entities as a host. It's been interesting to a lot of our members.
Me: *Processing this* So... I'm confused; I'm a shard, and possibly yours?
Em: Suspected, it's one of the reasons I decided to watch over you. And guided you to other, more open individuals. So you can become more open yourself.
Me: So, what can you tell me about yourself?
Em: I was the chief medical officer in the Convocation. I worked with a few of the other members in joint studies on occasion, for instance, with Lahabrea on the phoenix project; I was researching reincarnation at the time. Then in my days as an Ascian. I perished in my attempt to research the Isle of Val. However, after which I was raised once again through another shard; it's the only time I'm even seen in the game, so far, anyways.
Me: I see, so I have to ask why are you uncertain if I'm your shard or not?
Em: *Seemingly annoyed for some reason.* Em: Because of variables, however, perhaps try reaching out to other Convocation members, work on yourself and being able to attune to us. And don't do anything stupid I guided you to someone who can help. I trust her, as do many others.
Me: Alright, I'll do my best, but one more thing, you said variables. What kind?
Em: *Pausing once again. This time frowning from under her mask.* Em: I'd rather not say; I do not want to alarm you.
Me: Please just tell me; if it's alarming, then I probably should know.
Em: *sighing* Em: Fine, another of the reasons for me being your guardian, is because your soul is unique, it's different in the way that it's damaged. I've been doing my best to help mend it. Me:.....How does that even happen?
Em: Maybe it was due to when you forced your way into the astral? That doesn't matter at this point. What matters is mending it. Which is what I have been doing. The others also thought it best we keep you hidden for the time being while I attended to this task. However, since you have grown spiritually and emotionally, it's time you are aware of these things. I think it's best you develop yourself more. While it's seemingly uncertain just who you are, you do know you and I are connected. And you are connected with the Convocation. I was able to guide you to another as well.
Me: I see...this is a lot to take in and process. But I understand, I think.
Em: Take your time; we will speak more frequently, as will some of the other members eventually. Me: Alright, I'll remain open to any who want to reach out.
Em: *Smiled under her mask, hugging me, then disappearing into a portal*
I just woke up a bit ago, I felt kinda odd, and I had to quickly get this all down before my memory faded. A lot to take in, um yeah, so.. a lot of this didn't make a lot of sense to me. A conduit of souls? Granted, I have channeled and let entities use my body in possession before. And yes attempted this with Emet Selch and was struck with the worst possible headache imaginable. But then couldn't get his little mannerisms out of my head for days. Kept doing little hand movements subconsciously. But I never really considered it a big deal that I could do the channeling. But only 2 people have ever known I could do it. An ex had me channel different individuals a lot during most of our relationship. But Em says that isn't something just anyone can do. So I guess I have many more things to think about and more questions growing. I kept feeling like she knew more than she was willing to tell as well.. but maybe for reasons. I do not know. Honestly was scared to send this, but here is what happened. Also, good morning, I guess?
Me: Hi there. Well, since she was working on the phoenix project with lahabrea. It's a big indication she knows me well. Maybe she is my answer to how the F I merged with the phoenix to be my transformation. Maybe it's just one of the finalized creations. Because the hellish version in pandemonium crept the fuck outta me. And was very confused. Until TK reminded me, those were failed attempts. Em said, "i trust her as do many others" Who did she mean by that? Was that me? Also, my speaking through ability, as you see a channel for them to communicate. Got triggered by the first magic shroom trips I took. From time to time, I can do it without now, and I don't have the urge to use shrooms again atm. Elidibus is willing to try out your channel abilities. Only for a talk, no actual possession. Maybe he can tell me things through you that I cannot pick up. He does have something to tell, at least. But perhaps since lahabrea is the speaker and is more easy to connect with, he can be a good way to start with. Don't bother emet-selch with this; he only comes when he thinks it is needed. Also, what does her mask look like? But I wonder, a suspected shard. But what about family members? Because according to elidibus, family members have similar soul hues. Ofcourse, emet-selch and hyth are the only ones that have it THAT precise that can tell who is who.
Also, good morning to you!
Stormy: I believe she meant you when saying I trust her. As do many others. As for the phoenix project, it's highly likely she does remember you. It seems she helped me find you. I was legit just looking up Ascian lore when I found this blog. Yet she says she guided me here. She didn't mention anything about family connections. I wouldn't mind helping once I'm more attuned to them. This is different for me being open about this sorta thing. I've had bad experiences in the past being open about this sort of stuff. So pardon me for being, umm, nervous and such.
Me: I understand, well I can assure you you can tell me everything. I have been literally witch-hunted on mainly Twitter and accused of harassment of rp'ers, art theft and other horrible things just to make me look bad. While I never stole anyone's character (they don't even look alike) or actually harassing. I checked back many of my old tweets, and it wasn't even harassment in the slightest. No weird or awkward things were even said. So yeah whole 2021 was a hell hole for me.
Stormy: I totally understand that the last few years haven't been great for me; I recently got out of an umm abusive relationship of 8 years with an ex who was hella manipulative and, yea, not great of a person. But I never used Twitter or most social media besides Discord. Since I can hide there, so I haven't experienced that, but I have in other forms. Discrimination due to other stuff x.x, but yeah, I get it. But, Em led me here, so, I figured it's for a reason she basically said such herself. She saved me; it was the first time she took over. She gave me the strength to get out of that relationship. If I had continued down that path, I'd probably not be here now. I know she is real. I just never in my wildest dreams. I'd have it confirmed like this by meeting you well and reading your stories. It was kinda like a slap in the face for me. And what she wanted, apparently.
Me: Hahaha, I hope it will have that effect on others finding this in the way you did. I really hope I can wake people up by writing about this. To let people know they exist. And my bonus goal would be to print a physical book and give it to Yoshi P and, if possible, Ishikawa. I am trying to get this done because EU fan fest, but I got about 20 chapters to check on grammar. I don't want to look like an absolute amateur writer, ya know. And I am sorry to hear about your past relationship. I hope you're doing better since then. But what kind of discrimination? And be happy you are not on Twitter. Also, can I post these experiences of yours in this weblog? Would you like Stormy as a nickname or something else, just in case?
Stormy: That would be really cool if you did get a physical book; I'd get a copy. But I understand I'm not much of a writer myself though I try to be. And thank you, I have been doing better. I got myself into a place that is semi-better for now. As for discrimination, well, uhh, I'm transgender..so that's always had its set of problems. And trying to do voice work as a trans person with an accent is its own share of difficulties. Yes, I don't mind you posting them. And Stormy is fine. It's my screen name in some spaces, so that's fine. But I'm [redacted real name]. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Then the conversation went about more personal stuff that is unnecessary to share here.
Later that day
Me: I do have a quick question. What does her mask look like?
Stormy: Bird-like, maybe an owl, much like the typical ancients but red and a bit more decorative with purple trimming. Her robes were of a lavender purple, by the way. Also, a year or so back, I drew up her sigil. But I'm still trying to find the artwork.. when I have found it, I'll send it over for you to look at.
Me: Oh! Did you read the September chapter of 2022? Every member's color of robes was asked by me. And guess what. It matches!
Stormy: I haven't actually gotten that far, but oddly enough, I even myself have used similar color of purple for my robe. Gloom purple for mine in the game. I kinda thought that's why her robe was that color, reflecting off of what I did. That's interesting it matches. Also, I'm still looking for the glyph art I made. It's been like 2 years, so. I'm unsure where I stashed it or if I still can access it. But I made it after one of my first encounters with her.
Me: Very interesting. I hope you can find it!
Stormy: Same; hopefully, I may have to look for an older device of mine. Perhaps it's still on it.
Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it back.
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Apr 30th
Dms with Zio
Me: Zio! I got some nice info for you. You are (probably) from Etheirys, and you were also close to Nabriales in ancient times. Could you ask him if that's true?
Zio: Oh, I'll try to ask him today if I can get a hold of him!
Me: Awesome
Originally she replied on May 1st. but I will add it now
Zio: I think I got a positive response? Things are still a bit hazy.
Me: That sounds promising. I hope you will get a clearer answer soon. Will you keep trying?
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Resources/trainings
Akashic records training 1: please leave me a message if you want to try it. i will give you the link.
Training 2: please leave me a message if you want to try it. i will give you the link.
Training 3: please leave me a message if you want to try it. i will give you the link.
Originally training 2 and 3 were in May, but I don't want everything scattered over the chapters.
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Dreams of April
Apr 12th
so in this dream, we went to a fan fest, or at least we went by boat. Now you can go to the UK by boat here. You'll be there in 12 hours or so. I had not yet considered that option in RL.
Anyway, we went by boat directly to Fan Fest instead of going to our hotel first.
On the boat, we had a kind of hotel room without a bed. Really more of a temporary place to stay during the cruise.
I was getting dressed and doing my hair in front of the mirror. My ex was slow again, and we would be late.
In the end, he had his robes on but no wig. While I packed it. After some vague parts, we were finally there, and a game was played. You had to collect as many Pokemon figures as possible that were scattered on the lawn.
I'll skip those games for now. After I apparently won with 20 figures, we walked to a catering stand.
Me: chocolate liverwurst???? Oh, wait.
I saw that the name of something to eat said that the ingredients came from the local farmer. I pointed this out to my ex.
Ex: That's very nice
I spotted Yoshi behind the stand, but I walked on first.
Me: damn, if only I had finished that book, I could have given it to Yoshi - he's just standing there.
I don't remember what my ex said.
But then Yoshi walked up to me. Or met me when I went back to him.
Me: Yoshi, I have to tell you something. I normally had a book for you to explain this. But I didn't get it in time.
(Yoshi nods) So what I want to say is that the Ascians exist as Spirits here on Earth.
Y: yes? (and shook his head convincingly "yes")
Me: so you know about their existence?
Y: yes
Me: and does Ishikawa know too?
He had to think about that.
Y: I am not sure if she does, no.
Me: is she otherwise influenced by them? (i.e., how else she gets the accurate story)
I don't remember what Yoshi said then. But the bottom line was that he didn't talk to her about this sort of thing.
Then something vague happened, and then I was back in NL. But resembled an MLP convention. I started singing about how I was happy about this early fan fest so I could tell Yoshi and I love going to the one in Oct. and a little more lyrics
then I woke up. I really wonder how much this is and will come true. I would be amazed if he had his version of this dream. Or any of the older ones I had when he acknowledged the Ascian's existence.
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Apr 20th
well, it was quite a long dream. At least I remember somewhere during the dream that I picked up Eli (as Themis) from work to see a property he wanted to expand his business. So I picked him up from his mobile eatery with tables in front so people could eat their food.
It would be on the beach.
A colleague took over so Eli could get away for a while. He came out, and when he was in front of me, he looked back again to see if everything was ok. I think he said, "he'll be fine for a while" (it was crowdy)
we went to that empty building and stood in front of it
Eli: It's nice, isn't it?
Me: sure.
But then the dream warped me to other things about stolen money which ended up being my own dad. (This is a piece of truth, unfortunately. He had used cash savings that belonged to me to get a new bus without permission.) In between, it was also about looking for a new home, but together with my dad. But the houses we looked at were very narrow, so I didn't want those. I didn't want to leave where I lived at all.
Me: but do I want to leave where I live now?
I said to him.
Me: I'm fine there
then it was about that stolen money again, and someone randomly mentioned going for tea with me at Eli Tea. Only the penny didn't drop at that moment regarding the name, lol.
After concluding that the last time it was my dad who had access to my savings account, it was he who stole 15K (IRL 5K, about half of which has been paid back), then it was about something completely different that I skipped further. After the mentioned skipped event, I was spontaneously back at the beachside.
I walked in white robes past an empty building recently bought by Eli. I thought for his small business that he was still working on. A large white cupboard had been placed in it, and I could see it through the unlined windows. With the background tune being very peaceful, I watched it with a smile.
In the meantime, I just walked slowly to pick up Eli from work. Looked ahead of me again and saw another property called Eli Tea
I wasn't sure if it was his too. Someone mentioned it before in the dream, and I wondered if she meant this.
Me: *oh, so this is Eli Tea. Is this what she meant?*
I didn't think too much about it and walked around the corner to the right of that place.
By the way, the setting was a kind of shopping street that was still deserted or something with newly purchased properties on the beach by the sea. The ground was namely beach sand (white) but firm enough not to sink through it and to drive over it if necessary.
So I walked around the corner. I'm not sure if the sea was there. I immediately went left again, past other buildings on my left, and I thought I didn't look to the right at all. But in my mind, the sea was there, I think. I continued walking until I came to a traveling/driving eatery. I thought Eli would still be busy like before and still serving customers, but he was sitting at a table chatting with people.
I walked very peacefully towards him. He stood up. He was like Themis without a mask (I thought) on his chest.
We grabbed each other's hips and moved softly from left to right to the beat of the music in the background. And then we kissed.
He then stuck his tongue in for a French kiss, but then I woke up. I didn't care if everyone was watching. I think people thought it was fun and romantic to see.
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