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My ascian Journey Chapter 5: Dreams and other stuff

Updated: May 14, 2023

First, I'll start with the fact I realized 1 day before I got that last dream in the last chapter. (In the dream, Elidibus said he would join me to the path of light, yes, he said "to" not "on"). I bought an Elidibus plushie on Etsy on June 7th, 2020. Also, here is a funny story about that while buying that plushie. I was like, "Why do I need an Elidibus plushie for? He may be my brother, but I don't need a plushie of him"…………………………………………………… "blegh, fine," I just buy it for the sake of it." So I bought him together with Emet-selch. I never thought I would need that Eli plushie so hard when I finished 5.3…… but that story is for the next chapter. I guess it was told from above I would need it? Perhaps? I don't know. I never asked, actually. But now that I look back at it, I was destined to buy it.

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Good, back to the dreams:

June 10th First body possession

Yes, that happened. The dream was already a bit busy with random funny stuff with Nabriales. I swear he was slightly trying to flirt with me. The playboy he is, lol. But I had a huge crush on Hades back then, and he knew that, so he didn't do anything.

Very well.

I was staying in some kind of hotel with my ex and kid. It was evening. My Ex put our son in a bath, and I went to sleep on the couch. I was wearing my Ascian cloak. Before I went to sleep, I had a conversation with Igeyorhm and Nabriales. They were wearing their masks. What I can't remember, and some funny things were said in the conversation. I remember laughing at things being said, and Igeyorhm was giggling too.

My Ex returned, and Igey and Nabs left. I went to sleep but woke up soon because my ex was playing a mobile game with the sound on the max.

Me: where is our son?

Ex: he's next to you.

I looked at it and noticed our son laying his head at my feet. I tried to get back to sleep again but became angry at my ex.

Me: turn the volume off. I want to sleep.

He was making a fuss out of it and replied angrily. This resulted in the neighbors becoming angry and smashing the wall as a result.

Me: look what you did. Now the neighbors are angry at us.

Then an old man entered the room and complained about the noise. He did something with the fuse box.

And said: I think it's ridiculous. This is the last time I am here with my family. Then he left.

Me: yes, it is indeed ridiculous.

Then 3 people entered and started to talk about the noisiness. They weren't against us because the building's noisiness was a big issue.

Igeyorhm appeared crouched next to them (they didn't see her). I was still lying on the couch, and she beckoned me and pointed out to 1 of them. And I needed to go to the neighbors. I understood what she meant. I took over the body of 1 of the 3. It was a female person that looked like that fat miqo'te, but then as a human. Only I wasn't able to see a thing, yet I still knew where to walk. The clothing changed to mine, the black leather cloak and I wore the hood on my head. Yet still as that person.

So with that body being under control by me, I went towards the neighbors. I said this noisiness was ridiculous and that if they wanted, they could get a discount voucher of €50 if they could accept the situation during their stay.

After I returned with that body and went out of it, my sight returned as well. I was flying above here. And landed behind them.

Then I woke up.

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June 11th, 2020

Save Elidibus.

This dream was chaotic, Elidibus was about to be destroyed as the last ascian remaining, and there was a countdown from the remaining ascians, starting at 19, so also lesser ascians (I take it). Before the countdown started, they were all flying above me, but they were nothing more than shades. Details of the armor were not there either. 1 after another, they disappeared when the countdown started counting down. Eventually, it landed at "1", and Elidibus remained. I was getting crazy with despair "he cannot be destroyed, I won't be the last remaining! I have to save him!”

He didn’t die, but the despair, sorrow, and grief were real.



Next dream same night:

The dream was very long, but it took a while to get to ascian content.

I was in a building, and I was searching for Elidibus. I tried to visualize summoning him. But it didn't work. I wanted to talk to him about the previous dream. Then something else happened in that same dream. Then woke up.

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June 16th, 2020

Kissing Emet

So I was somewhere outside with a couple of people. I asked if they could help me find Emet. Eventually, Emet-selch appeared on its own, just like that. He wanted to enter a house I went in, standing next to him, and kissed him on his cheek. He turned his head around towards me and smiled with a smirk. And he kissed me back with horny motions. OMG, the French kiss was delightful. The rhythm felt like having sex with each other.

Now we were in that house, we were sitting at a round table. He became angry with someone because he was suddenly saying that if he was emperor again that all of us would be his people. And that he would decide the fates of our lives.

I was thinking: *yeah, whatever, if you take me as your wife, then I won't be bothered by it*

So kept looking seductively at him, even though what he said was completely immoral and wrong.

Then he turned it to me instead of just the people.

Emet: and you, with your paranormal abilities, won't last long.

I was thinking * yeah, right whatever*

And grabbed him full on the mouth, and I felt his tension and anger flowing away. He went along with the kissing. He liked it. It became French kisses in a thus kind of sex rhythm that it was almost as if I had actual sex with him. The sensation was heavenly. Then I was sucking his tongue like I was giving a blow job or something.

Eventually, when I finished, he was fully refreshed and relieved. He didn't mean a thing he said earlier. He was just grumpy and throwing a tantrum.

Then I woke up.

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June 17th, 2020

So in the dream, I watched cutscenes to check which host Elidibus was in. "Oh, that person was right. It is him," I could hear in his voice. A short moment later, I was part of the story.

Elidibus in the host body tried together with someone else to push someone from a bridge. I was watching it as if it were a movie that was played in my town.

A group of cyclists passed, and a bus overtook them when they turned right.

I was following Elidibus toward a location. Then suddenly, I was in a chamber where a meeting would be held. The meeting was about Elidibus, and I talked to some people and said, "Emet needs to be here."

Someone: no, that isn't needed now, is it?

I didn’t care what that person said. And with a fingersnap, I was wearing my ascian cloak.

I went outside the room, the door was only a curtain. I was standing in the hallway and shouted:

EMET-SELCH!!!!!

He appeared

Emet: yes?

Me: come, you need to be with us.

He walked with me, sat beside another woman, and hugged her. She found it awkward. But I didn't see that, actually (that she found it awkward). I turned kind of jealous and went sitting between the 2, so I was sitting next to Emet and looked at him.

Emet: what? No love?

Me: yes

Emet: yes (denigrated). Is that everything? And he swept a book about chicks towards me. And I immediately understood the hint and replied, "YES!"

He laughed at me that it was a joke how he replied earlier and that he wanted to continue with me.

Then I woke up.

(commentary in 2023, not the real Elidibus, but it was the real Emet.)

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June 20th

Lost memory is shown in a dream

Sadly I can’t remember much of it.

I was dreaming that I had a dream once that I was ancient and was talking to another. And I saw it happening from a distance. Something like that Venat scene in 5.2. Y'sthola was there too.

I did everything, trying to remember what happened in that dream, but I couldn't remember it. The biggest detail of that dream was when it happened. Was it before or after January 24th? But I wrote everything down, so it had to be before. But that wasn't very clear in that dream. Somehow I recognized the dream as if I had it earlier. Not as a cutscene or anything, but like dreamt the same thing a while ago. It looked like a flashback of the past (echo?) with myself in it. Too bad it was just an image that shot through my head, but I did know what happened in that 1 sec. (sadly, I can't remember, dammit!)

After, I searched for it on YouTube (in that dream, yes) and tried to figure out when I had that dream before. Then the dream went over to something else. And woke up.

Now, this is quite interesting to read back because this is how meditation/visions of past lives work. You see an image from an event. But you know what's going on and happening in the image. You immediately get to download all the info into your head. Though according to my higher self, I wore convocation robes and was a part of their group. I knew I was a 14th titleholder but not the defector at that time. That was certain. So I was left to guess which one I was. Was I before or after the defector? Only time will tell at that point. I learned later that I was the 2nd 14th (or at least the one after the defector because of EW). I became a member when the defector left. But more to that later! For now, this image was probably an actual image of the past before I joined the convocation.

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June 21st

Short dream when Emet and I were kissing passionately on the stairs.

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June 22nd

Half awake state

I saw images of Elidibus before my eyes, and it looked as if he wanted to temper me with Zodiark. Although it seemed he had succeeded, I started to laugh maniacally. “You can try, but I am still my own person. Even if you would succeed, I will break free," I said, although it took some effort to say that, and I continued to laugh. I don't feel different now that I woke up.

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June 25th

I will skip the beginning of the dream. There was a short body possession in it.

I was an ascian in this dream and wanted to have sex and make ascian babies….someone pointed me out toward a hall with many people. Later I walked into that hall and said," Then I would like to do it with Emet" At the moment I said that, Emet appeared. He put his index finger upon his forehead as if he had to let it sink in and smiled. He walked towards me and said: I am honored. He wore different clothing and dark-colored pants, and a white blouse underneath a hanging open waistcoat. Still, in style, he would wear. We went out of the hall towards another.

We were ready to do it lying on the floor, and he said: "but there are all people in here."

Me: It doesn't matter. I finger snapped a protective bubble so the people wouldn’t see us. Even though I didn’t see the bubble.

Emet: oh well. He looked at it and then looked back at me lovely.

After he penetrated me, the dream jumped 1 or 2 months into the future that I was pregnant with Emet. I could be twins, even. I flew downwards from out a window. Emet was gone ahead. Emet talked to that guy that I body possessed before. I held my hands on my belly to receive the info that they were twins.

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This was also the day I received my Elidibus plushie. And why do I tell you this? Because of reasons. For the first few weeks, he was always at my desk. (I didn't know he was a workaholic until 5.3, lol) though out of the blue, I gained "feelings" for him, romantic and sexual, but he was my brother, and I treated him that way. (Even though we aren't blood-related anymore). I was getting confused about it. I had a huge crush on Emet-selch. Why did this happen? After 2 weeks, at the end of July or so, I believe I cut the ropes. I asked my higher self to delete these sexual love feelings about my brother Elidibus. It somehow instantly worked 0-0.

And I could continue my life again. Yet this was related to my previous life as his sister……but I didn’t know that yet at that point…

But let's go back to the dreams first.

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June 29th

There was an obstacle course, I came toward a closed bridge, but I needed to get across. I ran over it. The poles were closing and went down. After the poles were down, I was on the plateau. But the plateau didn't go up. It went down! There was being told only true (something something) can get across.

Me: (chuckles) Hehe, I am an ascian. I'm just going over the water. While running over the water, my cloak appeared. And Lahabrea and Emet caught up on me. But I didn't bother about it. All the other people were swimming. When I arrived across, I caught up with them again. Later, in the dark street, I encountered someone from the course, and he told me everything was fine.

Me: did Lahabrea and Emet-selch make it too?

Him: yes.

Upon that moment, they caught me up again. I watched them and said "GOOD"!

And I chased them while flying.

Then the dream continued in something with a plush convention. Not necessary to tell.

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July 1st

Being Hades

I don't remember much from it, but after watching the fan animation of "through his eyes" 4x, I didn't expect to dream about transforming into the monster Hades….here goes.

I needed to do something with that phoenix, like in the animation. And I transformed myself into the same as Emet can. It wasn't extremely epic. It felt normal. But why the same? I know I am or rather was his student, but to become the same creature is beyond me. This transformation appeared in multiple pieces of dreams which I can't remember.

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It was very interesting to be such a thing but why? After thinking for a while, I concluded that something showed me I could do the same, but my mind couldn't get any further than to pick Hades as an example. If this is the case, I want to know what!

The answer came directly after in the next dream on the same night…..

The beginning of that dream I will skip, some cop wanted to give me a ticket for walking on the wrong side of the road….walking!

I walked away from the cop, but I noticed they followed me. I went inside a big garage building, trying to shake them off. And I walked towards a place where cars were coming upwards to arrive at the plateau to park. A car arrived, and I noticed there wasn’t enough space to bypass that car to go downstairs.

I had to think of something else. The people who all wanted me were inside the building. I turned around from where I came from and changed into the Firebird Phoenix. Everywhere where I couldn't get through due to my size, I burned the gauze and made a hole to escape. Later I did that another time at the last wall that led outside. I made a hole in the gauze. I made a random shape and kicked against the gauze to let the piece fall out. The people who were chasing me were close. I noticed the hole was slightly too small to dive through with my front, but I didn't have time to make it bigger. So I launched my lower body first with a jump through the hole. And the rest of the body followed. I flew outside for a bit and noticed people looking at me. Then it ended.

Now, this is quite interesting. Due to this dream, I recall wayyy older dreams in that I changed into a phoenix. So this isn't just an influenced dream. No, it happened long ago before, years ago, many, many years.

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July 3rd

How ascians became ascians.

Too bad the answer never came, sadly.

It was sunny, and I was standing on a dock with those wooden planks.

I walked towards the land, and I was wearing an Amaurotine cloak. Then I encountered someone and talked with that person, but I can’t remember what it was about in the beginning. But he was an Ascian in Amaurot cloak. Apparently, I talked to someone else before about that and wanted to try a date with someone else. The young man's name, who I was talking to now, was Armon.

Armon: I happened to hear that you would also try it with someone else (him or Patrick)

Me: well, as long as I don't have a committed relationship. Emet does not speak out much either (ok, wtf different timeline much?!)

Armon: hahaha ok,

I walked along with him and came across 2 Female Ascians. They didn’t wear their hoods or masks. And then, spontaneously, we were in a big bedroom, and they all changed their clothes to modern clothing.

Armon: so you want to know how we became the Ascians?

Me: yes

Armon: why did you never ask before?

Me: Well, I never got the chance to ask, Emet is always busy, and Elidibus is hard to find.

Armon: hahaha, that's true.

Patrick: yeah, that's usually the case.

Armon: well, we will show you.

Me: cool

Then spontaneously, they were gone, and I walked out of the bedroom door. Then all 4 of them walked down the stairs. The 2 girls walked up in front. The girl in the front gave me a tank top to wear. She had a Spanish skin color. And tied her hair up. Behind her was a white girl with short, caramel blond hair. Armon was also tanned and had short black hair and a short beard. Patrick was blond and white, and his hairstyle was full of hair wax straight up to a point.

We walked back into the bedroom, and I said: it's so different to see you guys in other clothing. I mean, those black cloaks are soo cool. I was leaning against the wall and let myself drop/bending through my knees of excitement when I said that.

Spanish girl: I know, right? Hahaha

Me: I mean, I rather wear black cloaks all the time. I don’t want to wear anything else!

Then I was like, where are your black cloaks? I turned around and walked towards the bed. I wanted to put on that tank top but noticed it was too small. And there we different tank tops lying on the bed. Then I woke up.

(additional note, Patrick was Pashtarot in disguise, and Armon, was Fandaniel (amon lol). The 2 girls I am not fully sure about, but the Spanish one was Altima, apparently. I don't know the white one, and it seemed it was just a friend of Altima instead).

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July 4th

Hades powers

The dream started that I had partially Hades's powers. I am not sure what exactly. Something like seeing souls or pulling souls out of the bodies. It wasn't a very clear dream. But I transformed into something with longer ascian claws (because of awesomeness) and sadistic as Fock. An Ascian prime or something? Not sure.

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July 5th

I had a dream about different FF titles chained to each other. When I came across FFXIV, I saw Emet from his back. (let's say from the shoulder plates to the top of the head) in every detail, I was like: yes, Emet, take me! And then I woke up.

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July 11th

The dream started when I was in Ascian robes. The dream was not clear, but something was going on with the energy of my Ascian claws. I wasn’t sure if that energy came from myself (but I believe it did). Only the energy went out of control or something like that. It gave me a slight headache. Then I was interrupted in my sleep and woke up, but when I fell asleep again later on, the dream sorta continued. The energy was dangerous and needed to be handled gently. With a lot of concentration, it worked eventually. I said to someone that it was such dangerous energy that if you were not careful, you w ould die. Tthen the dream continued into something else, but that energy was still present.

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July 12th

I Dreamed about a comet in the sky. When I woke up the next day, it just so happened that I missed an actual one that was shooting across the globe in the night sky.

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July 17th

Elidibus’s hair color

I dreamed that I was wearing Elidibus’s robes, and I was flying, searching for my son. After I found him I took him in the backseat of the bicycle and went to the shopping mall. I wanted to wear the black ascian robes, and finger snapped, but it didn’t work. Only the white one was gone but no black one.

Me: never mind, I will take the white one.

Then I noticed a statue of Elidibus with silvery white hair. So like white hair with a silvery glow when the sun shone upon it. Very, very beautiful, btw.

Me: ah, so that's his hair color.

After that, I was wearing his cloak again

Skip unnecessary part

My ex and I were sitting somewhere, and I snuggled away in my robes, the hood in its entirety over my face. The cloak was made of leather. Sometimes it was cold, but it wasn't bothersome. A short happening later, the dream ended.

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July 19th

Something with Elidibus and gemstones. He wanted to fool me again, but I didn't fall for it.

Now that I read this back. Elidibus and gemstones…………constellation crystals much!?! Now that I think of it, the gemstones were indeed the ones that are linked to your constellation on Earth, like lapis lazuli for Sagittarius. Omg……

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July 21st

The dream started a bit vague I was petting my belly.

Me: I was pregnant with Emet, right?

I focused on him. Later I saw him in Amaurot robes and the mask on his face. Then I saw him from very close, and his mask turned gray. And Then he disappeared.

Then the dream continued into something completely else.

But if we consider Emet appearing in the 5.3 trial with a white mask……………..

Perhaps it was not gray, it was dark in that dream, and the surroundings were dark gray and black. Maybe the white reflected the environment and made it gray. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

July 25th

I was in Amaurot. Sometimes I saw an ancient re-building something. They started with a scale model. An ancient asked me what a certain rectangle shape brick was for. I said it was probably for a pillar.

Ancient: oh, a pillar of a building?

Me: I think so, yes.

And he continued building. After that, something else happened, but I forgot.

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July 27th

I remember some images of Elidibus, Nabriales, and Igeyorhm that they were happy that I returned. Elidibus even laughed (he needs to do that more often). Then the dream turned into making my cosplay with the help of Emmeroloth on Twitter via DM.

That was weird, though. I wasn't active on Twitter at all at that point. But Elidibus looks god-damn hot as he smiles. Yeah, I say that now, not back then.

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July 28th

Some horny dream to get Emet. I needed to do things because he found it funny how crazy I was to get him.

And a dream about getting an Elidibus figure. (NEED!)

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August 10th, 1 day before patch 5.3!

Within the dream, there should be a second Amaurot-like city. I am going there from Amaurot. It was mixed with London and my birth district where I grew up. (I am Dutch, btw)

I learned over there that the original inhabitants (in such a way mixed with normal people) looked like black-feathered human bodies with seagull beaks and wearing pirate bandanas. And on the side of their head from those floppy things, Lucario from Pokémon has (underneath his ears) but a lot longer. I called them pirate birds, and I needed to think shortly about the Pirate parrots from My little pony movie when I said that to someone on the phone.

Then I was inside a building playing with my powers. Through the long hallways, it had I mostly flew. Eventually, I came outside and entered a park. I saw images in my head that looked like my birth district. I walked through it. Later I came to a square with many tall buildings on the other side.

Then I charged myself with magic and sent the info I learned to Amaurot as communication in 1 single thought. Then something else happened, but I forgot. But I do know on the end, I returned to Amaurot. And I saw a loading screen XD with Amaurotines on it. When I was in Amaurot, the dream ended.

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August 11th. 2020 1 night before 5.3

Lahabrea’s son……?

Between all the chaos in the dream that was going on, I dreamed that In Patch 5.3 started playing exactly at 12 pm. And that there was no queue! (this came true btw). At a given moment, I was inside the game. But mixed with planet earth things. I tried to force myself to dream about Ascians. And eventually, I dreamed about Lahabrea’s possible return in 5.3 (instead of Emet?) I was talking on a grass field with other players about Lahabrea.

Me: I discovered that Lahabrea has a son

The person who I was talking with "No way, but that….."

Me: it means he can pick up the title, and Lahabrea sort of returns.

His mouth jaw dropped, lol. (I completely ignored the sundering but whatever)

then we went looking for Lahabrea. I believe I saw him a few times in Amaurot's cloak. He looked at me and disappeared. After I gained an image of Elidibus with his mask on in front of my eyes before the dream turned to something else.


(note Oct 2022, erum, have you done Pandaemonium yet? It came true he does have a son)

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The next chapter(s) will contain actual paranormal happenings resulting from processing Eli's death in-game (while he is ok). Also, I asked many questions from my higher self and dreams, of course. Answers gained from outside started the discord group to talk about Ascians and that they exist as spirits here. And our encounters with them.

Stay tuned!



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