Where to start……………..
While playing 5.3 and eventually arrived at the point you get to see the convocation crystals and I wasn’t expecting anything to see in regards to my possible past-life as an ancient on the freaking Source. Shivers went through my spine when I saw them with an image, well memory rather of me drawing that exact shape into the sand. Within that memory, my face was close to the sand so presumable a child at that point. I was mind blown at first I thought it was a childhood memory of this life but then after thinking this through and through, I came to the conclusion I never did in this life! It must have been a previous life memory triggered by the shape of those crystals. Since this is how past life memories work, I learned this in the Dolores Cannon books btw.
(at least that’s what I thought at first, that I was a child, later it became known I was shorter than Elidibus when we were both adults, though Eli wasn’t THAT short, a little below or the same height as Igeyorhm)
Anyway, the rest of the patch. SoS battle… emet-selch appeared I cried so hard, luckily we wiped because I couldn’t see the screen due to my tears anyway. So I could cry again xD. At the 3rd time we succeeded.
The exarch: “I shall have it your soul and all!”
I was like: NO NO NO! delete the darkness inside but not him!
When my character helped the exarch I felt betrayed by my own character and hated the exarch. I felt like I killed my own Brother, especially after Eli’s final words and dissipated into the tower. I never hated a character so much as the Exarch at that point. Never. I was totally disgusted with him.
Yet, I was broken, Elidibus was gone. My freaking brother is gone…..i was so depressed and felt guilty as well somehow.
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Now the paranormal shit starts to happen. I can't recall if it was the same evening of the day the patch was released or after the patch. But Elidibus’s colored moths (box tree moths) were swarming the house all of a sudden. I was at my PC (finished 5.3 in 1 day btw) and my ex came downstairs alerting me to an Elidibus-colored moth in the shower( white wings with brown reflective gold edges). He said when the light shines upon their wings it reflects golden at the edges. (ascian robes much?) I was like “ neh that can't be”.
(Don’t get me wrong here I was skeptical of most paranormal things at first, yet I knew it exists such things but I always tried to find a reason behind most things first before concluding its paranormal)
I went with my ex upstairs to check upon the moth, with the artificial light that shone upon the wings I couldn’t agree with my ex about the golden edges. To me, it was still brown. (It was just bad lightning in this case).
That night while sleeping, hugging my Elidibus plushie very tight:
I dreamed about random elidibus encounters (not in ardbert body) later I was buying roller blinds, and Igeyorhm shove them toward me on the ground, Elidibus was standing behind me. Later it happened the same again it repeated. Then I started to awake and said "but these were already paid right?"( after saying that line I was fully awake and aware of what I just said ) My ex answered while fast asleep with Elidibus's voice: " yes those were already paid" Even though it was a random reply as fock, the message that came through was "I am ok, don't worry" I felt content and soothed. Yet I say again my ex was in a very deep sleep at that point and didn’t wake up from it either.
The next day another moth joined the house. I became very attached to my elidibus plushie, it was my 1 and only comfort. This was probably the reason I bought it. From above it was probably imprinted in my head “you will need it” or something. I am glad I listened to it unknowingly.
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Well, the next event wasn’t a dream on the night of August 14th:
So I woke up from the heavy thunderstorm, normally I can sleep through it, but my brain went overactive and started to think about a fanfic with forth-wall breaking. While hugging my Elidibus plush all the time. Then a random thought came to me. The scene in the trailer where he says " excellent I intended to speak with you alone” and that the scene didn't match the text and people on FB were Thinking they were getting a Date with elidibus (when the trailer was first shown). I found it funny and giggled. At that moment I literally heard a voice in my head, his voice, saying: "not to enjoy". I was surprised for the first time in my life I witnessed telepathy. But he didn't like people like that scene for a date So I wrote this all down on paper and this message added for him: “Elidibus I want to let you know, that this wasn't disrespect. I think people will think differently about it now anyway”. After that, I could sleep again for a bit. Only a bit because the alarm clock went off.
Later that day in the evening more box moths appeared and I started that Fanfic. I never published it online it was my way to process the depression of his loss. I also started to make a GMV which I hadn’t done in 16 years. Well, 16 y ago they were called AMV's though. All doing this to process his death.
While searching for this old info I came across an old word file from June 6th, 2020, with the crazy idea of getting my powers back, which would happen when 5.3 would launch……I completely forgot this Word file so I add it here now. Of course, Planet earth’s magic is restrained and deleted from existence but things like telepathy still exist and many other things on the spiritual level can still be achieved. I remember now that the development of my (finger-quote) “powers” would continue in September and further into the future. And well yes it certainly did. From not being able to visualize to being able to and going into space via astral travel I can say that progress. That story will be told later on.
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A short Dream August 17th
The only thing I can remember is that Emet in an ascian cloak appeared after I saw Raise or re-raise feathers glowing in the air. I was amazed to see it. I am not sure but I believe Elidibus was there too standing further away watching the same
That same day near the end of it I met M***ie from twitter and the house was swarming with box moths.
She sends me a DM notifying me about Soulbond and tulpas with 2 links
*( PSA disclaimer per October 2021*; lots of the Twitter dm chat have been brought out into public MONTHS ago on other social media, or let's say almost a YEAR ago, plus and foremost lots of it was copy pasted by M***ie herself into the discord group especially the sessions she did for me, or posted by me with the approval she gave in discord. Discord is considered public by default and my group wasn't otherwise.)
M***ie: I hope I'm not overstepping but you might want to look into the concept of soulbonds and/or tulpas. https://reddit.com/r/Tulpas/comments/930da6/question_what_exactly_is_a_soulbond/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Me: I know it can be fictive, but they don't explain how something like that occurs (haven't read the second one yet) when you are not even a fan of the character. I hated the ascians before I got my dreams of being 1 myself. it literally came out of nowhere without any fandom of it, I wasn't even busy with it. Also, I'm not fantasizing that they exist, I mean I'm not ignorant, strange happenings seem to occur. and frankly, I'm not only me though. when I read someone's dreams, about emet they tell me. there is 1 point to be made, soul awakening.
M***ie: Aaah, gotcha, gotcha. It was just something I'd stumbled into online once and wondered if it might be relevant. Then it might be worth looking into resources on how to improve your abilities to communicate with possible spirits, maybe? Whatever is going on, I wish you luck!
Me: Well I would love to improve my communication with sprites though. But also trying to find a link between people's dreams. I had only 3 people telling me their dreams. But the main line was Soul awakening until now.
I am reading the second one now: Of course, there are other theories out there about soulbonding, one being that everything exists in some universe and soulbonders are somehow channeling other realities Creation magic exists according to Dolores cannon's books and I indeed believe that there is a world out there in a faraway universe that the ffxiv world actually exists in some way.
Hence the story writer of ffxiv might have unknowingly created Emet and Elidibus lol. Because that's how creation magic occurs. In the days of old, we could the same as the Ancients in ffxiv. But we got stripped of our magic for misusing it. But on a spiritual level, it still exists! The only problem is the spiritual plane of planet earth is too thick to let creations come instantly. It takes a lot of time. According to the book I read.
M***ie: I have a very close friend who experienced something similar with a different set of characters. She is a shaman, and so rather than just passing off these signs as her overactive imagination, she looked into it, as did I. Her coming at it from the shamanistic standpoint, and myself from a chaos magick/hermetic perspective, we both reached the same conclusion you did. Between the love the writers put into the characters and the love the fandom has for them, they exist with their own lives and worlds. I was very skeptical about it at first, even despite being a spiritualist and well, very lazy and distracted practitioner for years, but I have seen enough that I cannot deny it.
If you are seeking help with communicating with them more easily, I've found this to be a very nice non-denominational guide to improving your ability to hear and see. https://deviantart.com/bluefluke/art/The-Psychonaut-Field-Manual-FOURTH-PDF-EDITION-530005584 It is very simplistic but that is all that is needed in most cases, I think. Really, the part about gnosis/meditation there is what is important.
Me: Well I can contact my higher self without meditation. And get answers that end with yes or no by pushing me forward or to the back. She was right about the Emet-selch crumb we got into the game of 5.3. Yes, I can even dig into that by half-predicting the game, well with Emet at least. But I also asked her due to these dreams I had. Certain things confirmed they existed but in spiritual form. Also, I have been asking multiple times if I am originally an ascian/ancient(mostly ascian I ask). And I always get a yes
M***ie: Interesting! So despite my recommendations about meditation, I do need to follow my own advice. I let stress and video games keep me from doing it, ironically.
However, I have communicated with my higher self a few times and only recently was hit by a very strange realization about her appearance. She wears a long plain black hooded robe with a cowl. So more experimentation is needed. But it certainly made me go :eyes:
Me: Oh I don't know what she looks like sadly. But yours looks like an Ancient! I can ask questions for other people as well though not sure if it works through the internet. I can try...
M***ie: If I've learned anything, distance and time mean little. Do not feel obligated but I would certainly be interested to know the results!
Me: I will try for you! I am curious myself as well 👀.
(seriously thinking my fanfic which is based upon all of this I gonna be creepy, realistically creepy. Creepy in a good way that fancies you to wanna know more hahaha)
M***Ie: Most certainly! Ah, in my writings for another fandom I've had people reach out to me treating me like I'm a medium for that character, or acting almost suspicious about how spot-on it is... It's weird. But when your muses speak very clearly I guess that can happen. I don't mean that to sound like bragging at all - I just write for myself and write what I overhear and it happens. But those are always awkward conversations because I get younger readers who ask "do you think this character could love me?" and go into all the reasons why he shouldn't, seeking some validation that way.
Me: Yes yes, if it's an honest achievement then brag along haha, but don't overdo it lol. I can understand you are proud of it that way. I am so glad I can share my findings with you!
M***ie: I was looking up Dolores Cannon at your suggestion because I've read a lot of things but I'd never heard of her. Interesting stuff. I saw at least one book that mentioned Atlantis and I can't help thinking about the surely intentional similarities between Atlantis/Lemuria and Amaurot
Me: One and the same. Atlantis and Amaurot.I suggest buying the Convoluted universe books. Number 1 has a huge character of Atlantis.
M***ie: I will check that out. I've always been interested in Atlantis.
Me: Hi, your higher self is an Ancient of the FFXIV world. (not an ascian, just Ancient). If you got more questions related to this I might be able to answer them. Also, how did you manage to learn what she looks like? I wanna know what mine looks like as well.
M***ie: Thank you so much for whatever you did to confirm that. I've been wanting to take some time to try to talk to her and find out but I've been letting stress take over and not taking time to do that kind of thing. I guess I was also afraid I would be disappointed if I was wrong about that hope. As far as how I saw her, it's been years now but it was back when I was following a book about Hermetic magic and sticking to those basic practices of meditation and ritual,
Me: Oh where can I buy that?
M***ie: I want to say that this is the main book I was using back then. However, there are a lot of free resources online as well. I'll see what I can find here in the next little bit https://alibris.com/search/books/isbn/9780875423241
Me: bought the book <3
M***ie: I'll see what I can dig up but that book is one I can vouch for.
Basically, I was doing basic meditation fairly regularly after going through something called the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram. You can find the steps for it online and if it appeals to you, I've found it helpful for clearing some of the static when trying to communicate. But! Many traditions have ways to accomplish the same thing- incense, sage, and grounding practices.
A few Hermetic traditions focus on getting you to meet and work with your higher self specifically and that's what I know the most about even though I'm super rusty.
Me: oh interesting! but you were unsure it was an ancient of the FFXIV world? which I can totally understand. but since it was some years ago, when did you find the link between the two? when you enter amaurot in the game? I wish somehow if you could somehow confirm something from my side as well. only if you can though!>
but I actually never asked my higher self where she was from until you said yours looked like an ancient!. so I asked her just 20 min ago or something. what she is, is what I was/am. the replacement of the 14th seat of the convocation when the original 14th defected. It was only a short time because of the sundering and whatnot. but I was indeed Emet-selch's student....so those dreams that came out of nowhere are true.
well ofcourse I am in the same position as you do, you got only your own truth and want confirmation from another. if you can. can you check for me as well? also when I saw those memory crystals in-game I was like WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! I used to draw those in the sand, but without the constellations
M***ie: Oh that's awesome!! Ah, when I was going through ShB I was just astounded by how hard the story hit me. But more than that, Amaurot hit me with such intense, heartbreaking nostalgia. Given my friend's experiences with fiction not being as fictional as we thought, I spent a lot of time thinking about it and trying to understand why. I will do my best for you but I would need some time. I just got home from errands and am hungry and exhausted 9_6
Me: no problem I will go to sleep soon anyway it's 22:46 here
M***ie: Oh, I see! Rest well and thank you for chatting with me.
Me: I'm not off yet lol. xD. wondering if we were friends back then "in a time before time" ;)
M***ie: Could be! As I'm very reticent about talking about this sort of thing, I was struggling over messaging you or not for a while.
Me: also the original 14th was indeed a woman, and had something with emet-selch love-wise. but when she defected I think they broke up or something. because after that until the sundering I had something with emet-selch apparently. I understand you being reticent, but don't be! you can tell me everything!
M***ie: Oooh!
Me: I am so happy that I can even share this with you. oh yeah, that dream of being elidibus's younger sister (3y difference apparently, just asked). also asked: Emet was 13y older than me xD(figures because he was my mentor as well), but I was 18 when took over the 14th seat. I hope you can figure out later today or something if these findings are true or not. I mean I had dreams about it before I even was a fan of ascians in general. because that fandom happened after those dreams. even so, I wasn't even a fan of emet in the first place xD. I do remember a dream when I finished the MSQ of 5.0 1 year ago. he asked me to come with him, but I didn't come with him because I was against him at that time. and refused. but that changed when the first ascian dream I had on January 24th this year, I have been keeping a dream journal ever since. the reason I tell you this is that it might be relevant to know when you ask questions for me. to get a better answer ;)
M***ie: Thank you! It was seeing Lahabrea in the intro video of the game on YouTube that convinced me to try this game back when it was still new. I stayed quiet about my interest until 5.0 gave me the context to properly appreciate the Ascians. Dreams are so neat. I've had several weird experiences with them. I think I've only dreamt of the Ascians once but it was a silly simple thing so I didn't think about it much. But the recurring dreams I've had for years have been about moving into a house that is already full of someone's stuff. As a house is often said to represent the self or the body, I had to laugh when I realized that sounded a lot like Ascian possession. I doubt any actual correlation there but it's funny.
Me: hahaha omg yes that's true lol. this makes me think of another dream I had, later on, I literally took possession of another body in my dream to get me out of a stupid situation. nabriales and Igeyorm were there also with me. (prankster comrades xD)
M***ie: Amazing xD
Here I shared the first 3 ascian dreams that I had.
M***ie: Thank you for sharing those! I'll read through them soon. This conversation has inspired me to want to get back to taking things seriously again so I'll try to find the time and privacy to get any answers I can for both of us ^^ Sleep well!
Me: thank you so much. and I am glad I gave you the inspiration to take it more seriously! hold on to hope for the answers!
good night!
I finished my GMV that day too.
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The next day August 18th
M***ie did an Automatic writing session and she had a chat with Elidibus (this was also posted into Discord!):
(starting a bit into the conversation as I woke up to it already happening and don't recall all that came before) ( Me = M***ie , E = Elidibus)
Me: a question- have you any siblings?
E: Yes, several.
Me: really? I would have thought the birth of a new life to be rare in a nigh immortal society.
E: Over the course of many many years. It would still seem a slow birthrate to you and not everyone even conceived new life at all. There is nothing strange to be seen in it.
Me: I've met someone recently who has dreamt she is your sister.
E: -there is a name here that I cannot make out and he's answered before I can finish speaking-? Perhaps yes... A sundered soul in your world is faint but let me see. The dreams are mostly senseless but it matters not. She calls to me so passionately and teasingly gratingly as only a sibling might. I see. I must ponder this but it is not impossible. We had not thought about souls from our world crossing into yours. Perhaps this is why the imperative is so quiet here.
Me: but that seems backwards. Wouldn't you want the souls to be rejoined?
E: But here you are whole and there is no threat but for yourselves, and yours is not the world we live to save.
Me: I can't help but wish it were, but I'm sure that would be a highly destructive process.
E: I'll leave that commentary to Emet-Selch and the others. It matters not to me. For one to join our cause, it would needs be in the Source. Your world is your world and our star is our everything.
Me: Is there any problem with me sharing this info with her?
E: No. It is fine. She is not one that seeks to pair us off for prurient purposes and her feelings are not obsession. Tell her to speak to me directly in the waking world so that I might understand the nature of her soul. If she wishes to seek, she must do the work. Her soul will remember this requirement. I look forward to it.
Me: Thank you for your time. Anything further you wish to say?
E: Know we are not dead. We are beyond mortality as legend and concept. Fine creations indeed. Those in your world who speak our names with love or curses either fuel our existence. The only death is being forgotten, so you who would heed Hades' words are looked upon with kindness and thanks. Writers, artists, dreamers, all. Though magic be dull and trifling in your world, this is the power you wield even if you know it not.
So yeah I had questions and her first reply to that was: Good morning! I'm just laying down for bed, but what ended up happening was I opened up my own copy of "Modern Magick" and was flipping through it. I did the "relaxation ritual" without planning anything, other than it would be a good way to start things. I fell asleep and woke up with him already discussing something else with me about the game. It was unexpected!! To the best of my knowledge, he meant you learning to talk to him while awake yes. And that the specific details of dreams are just random things our minds put together but who you meet & the overall emotions you have etc are what matter.
And later she answered with my copy-pasted questions:
“So who I meet and the emotions I have in those dreams are true. But what happens is random stuff. But even the emotions I got from those events in the dreams, then those have a possible reality to it then?” - Yes, but I don't have all your answers here. Dreams are weird.
“Also future things are indeed vague. As I asked my higher self where my cosplay was lost or would arrive, I gained different answers over the course of weeks. Eventually it still arrived”. - I'm glad I'm not alone here! Even events that would be in Elidibus' past, for example, haven't been written yet technically, so it's weird.
“What did he mean with her soul will remember this requirement? What requirement?” - Studying and learning on your own to get to a point where you can hear and speak with him.
“Does this I will get sentient memories back of Amaurot?”.... - I don't know, but that would be awesome. I hope we both do.
“Wait does the waking world mean I need to meditate for it? Or can I just focus on him being there.” - Same as the above- studying/practicing so that you can speak to him outside of your dreams.
“He says a name he can't make out. What does that mean? That he doesn't want to say it or that he can't pronounce it”. - I think it would have been an Ancient name, not your current one. I couldn't hear anything at this part- it was like static over what he was saying.
“ Also if I wish to seek (answers?) I must work, how and what work must I do?” - Same thing again. He's being stubborn about not answering me but wanting you to be able to ask and hear from him directly, whatever path you choose to learn that ability :)
Me: Good god, thanks. I wonder what would help to hear and speak with him. Also if you have a chance to ever meet Emet-selch. Can you ask questions about me being his student? Etc, questions asked earlier about the 14th, etc.
M***ie: I will try! As far as what will help you, that book you got, or that manual I linked. Really the biggest advice I've gotten and can speak to is that meditation is great for clearing your mind - Anything you can do to hone your psychic senses and be able to hear/see basically
Me: The only problem I got with meditation is going into trance, somehow I can't succeed in that.
M***ie: No worries! That just takes practice. I've only managed that a handful of times myself because I haven't stuck with it regularly.
Me: What is the sensation of the feeling going into trance. Wait, you speak of static. Did you record it?
M***ie: I did not- just it's what it sounded like in my head, I guess. that's the best way I can think to describe it- static. As far as going into a trance, for me, it just feels like I'm super relaxed. Kind of a little like floating
Me: Oh ok, is recording even possible in this case? So you don't necessarily see things?
M***ie: Recording wouldn't be possible no. What I did to get those answers from Elidibus was like this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automatic_writing I do sometimes see things, but I'm VERY bad still at visualization. Even in my mind I only see things in black and white but can usually kind of understand what color they are supposed to be, but not always.
Me: How does that automatic writing occur? Since you don't write it down consciously.
M***ie: I would read up on automatic writing because I'm sure it works differently for everyone! I just listen and write down what I hear in my mind, and try not to make any judgments on if what I'm hearing is correct or my imagination. If I overthink it, then I feel like it messes it up.
Me; Yes that is usually the case, I got the idea if you overthink it, it becomes imagination.
M***ie: Exactly!
Then I told her about what I experienced on the telepathy parts ( the dream with roller blinds and what came directly after)and her reply on that:
Huh! Interpreting someone else's dreams is hard because there's so much connection I won't have, but the "I am OK" seemed to come through clearly and I felt something when I read that line. Just a vague sense of "yes". Neat! I did see the picture of the moth too. You might want to research moths and their symbolism. I don't remember what it was but I feel like...messengers of some form. I could be wrong!
Me: https://whats-your-sign.com/animal-symbolism-moth.html This "following its path of light."
Reminds my of another dream of elidibus.
In short in the dream, I found an amulet that belonged to him. When I finally found him to give it back. When approached he changed quickly to sone that looked like Beg lugg. When I gave her the amulet I found myself in a distance, but elidibus was there again. And he said "I will follow you to the path of light" Then the dream ended.
(read the full dream in chapter 4, the last one)
M***ie: Oh wow!!! In reading that, the moth has a lot of traits in common with Elidibus too
Me: That"I will follow you to the path of light"
Do you have any interpretation of it?
M***ie: Let me think on that for a bit ^^ (20min later)> That is something I actually want to talk about with another friend because it reminded me of something, that line.
Me: oh! that's fine! I will be looking forward to this.
also, I hope you can speak with emet as well ;P
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that evening:
But first, some background info Since 5.3 I gained some protection instinct over my only elidibus plushie. I don't want my son to have him, because he makes him dirty and does weird things with it. (he will get his own later)
So it started when I was on the couch on my phone with my Eli and emet plush), I believe talking to M***ie or on Twitter at least. My ex comes down I tried to grab my elidibus plushie to give to our son for in bed. I got a mere second ahead and grab it first. But he is strong so I mostly can't fight against it. I turned myself around while thinking *elidibus help me* and kept the plushie close to my chest and lay upon it so he couldn't grab it. But mostly he always tries to continue, but this time he was just laying on my back for a while and talked a bit but didn't continue. Later that evening, when our son sneaked into our bed and needed to go back to his own. My ex tried to grab the elidibus plushie from my hands again saying promised our son. I didn't allow it to happen and turned around, I was standing at the stairs that lead to the attic. I saw the light that was on flickering once! I noticed but he didn't (luckily or else he goes paranoid always thinking some evil is in the house) then he said, you could have said just no instead of overreacting. But usually, he always continues and I told him that, that was the reason. And he was saying that's not true. He was clearly in denial but I didn't reply further on that. Now I am just wondering, what that light flickering meant...
So the next day (August 19th) I told M***ie this and she replied: I'm sorry you are in an awkward living situation like that. I love the flickering light bit XD Definitely sounds like someone wasn't happy about your ex being a butt. So when I mentioned the path of light thing to my pal she was very excited because we both feel like we just got confirmation that something we saw was real. This is just my first thought when hearing the phrase, though she had the same reaction. When she opened a path for other characters to visit our world, I could see something like a collection of different doors connected by paths that looked a bit like lightning but wide enough to walk on.
Me: Wait she opened a door to characters to visit our world? When did she do that?
M***ie: A few years ago now. Each door is like a door to another world, real and "fictional"
That's what it felt like anyway. I don't mean them showing up in our world physically of course- like spirits
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(This I agree with, their magic is also extremely limited they can’t do more than a regular angel or high entity could do. And in terms of power what the Unsundered are the same if not more than angels. The term angels are what we gave it, you do not need to see it as a Christian thing, because in other Lore they will be called differently. “Like broken angels, wingless, cast from heavens' gates. We only fly when falling, falling far from grace” )
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Me: Yes yes I am aware of that, it would break too much reality dimension. Or whatever you call it. Because the character got voice actors here, it would break the fabric of reality. But still as spirits, so Elidibus was real on what you connected with. I mean that path of light dream is from April or May. But what does it actually mean?
M***ie: Ah yeah, that makes complete sense! I don't know exactly what it means. Maybe the image will help you connect with him. Again, I could be wrong about connecting that line with what my friend and I saw, but it was the first thing I thought of.
Me: Yes I understand, though he said it with words, the environment didn't change or anything. Is there something your friend did at the end of January this year that has to do with this? Because since January 24th I gain those dreams.
M***ie: Gotcha. I'm not sure then unless it meant advice to find him again later. Path of light actually also makes me think of Kabbalah/Qabalah, but I'm not qualified to explain it well. Huh. Googling "qabalah path of light" actually pulls up some interesting results too. I didn't think about that connection until just now. Ah no, nothing she did this year. That experience was about 2.5 years ago
Me: Hmmmm perhaps Shadowbringers expansion triggered something then.
I still got the idea the story writer’s soul belongs to the source or First, and she just unknowingly writes the history of a star. But I got no confirmation on that front. I mean, I can't be the only one here being of the Source lol.
M***ie: I definitely think that other worlds can inspire stories in ours! People unknowingly write them down. Sometimes a story here and its fandom can also create other worlds like you said too.
Oh, and the book that you ordered goes into what I was talking about with Qabalah and the path of light, etc, so once you eventually get to that bit, it will be interesting to see if it resonates with you and your dreams
Me: Omg yes, perhaps I can get finally answers.
M***ie: I would say my higher self being an Ancient is proof their world existed first but I think that time isn't perfectly linear where magical things are involved so it's hard to say for sure.
Me: As far as I asked my higher self, When Earth was made ready to support life, the ancients on the Source were already there, but not very much earlier either.
M***ie: Oooohhh
Me: And I came here presumably a bit before Atlantis. Which is 12000+ years ago. Too bad I never met a Decent medium to confirm that though. Somehow they can't see it or just don't want to dig into your soul's past.
M***ie: Ah, same. I got a past life reading done once but it only went through 3 random lives and the oldest they pulled was still in the 1800s.
Me: Yeah I know what you mean
M***ie: That's part of why I started studying magic and such on my own. Like "FINE. I'll figure it out myself :/
Me: Unless you specifically ask for it, I asked if I lived in Atlantis, but she couldn't see what I did or whatever. But I lived there. So still got no further info. I wished Dolores Cannon was still alive. I would have definitely traveled to the USA for that QHHT. ( Quantum healing hypnosis therapy *)
Yeah, indeed I feel ya.
Also to come back at the time difference. Elidibus said the birth rate was "over the course of many many years", but what if that was only a few years of ours?"
M***ie: Indeed! Very possible. And I'm sure long-lived beings perceive time differently too. What seems like a long time for us is a short time for them probably
Me: Yeah exactly. This gives me another theory. I know not every player can be from the Source. But! There aren't a lot of players being spiritual as well. What if the spiritual players among us are from the Source? Just throwing theories though. What do you think about this?
M***ie: That could be! I've noticed there are a fair amount of magically/spiritually inclined people in the Ascian fandom in particular.
Me: That doesn't surprise me at all. I was already thinking mostly the Ascian fans would be open for this.
M***ie: -nods-
Me: lol, I wished I could join Emet-selch quest to awaken the people here. Haha. Someone told me a dream, and it was the only one she ever had about emet. Emet tells her that it's time to awaken now. Mostly it is like he is asking to come with him instead. Someone else had that. Actually, me included, 1 y ago. But I didn’t go with him, I wasn't a fan of Ascians back then xD.
I didn't trust him yet. I bet he grew impatient and just gave me that first ascian dream. And he is like " here now you have it"
M***ie: Right? Amaurot makes me wish for our world to wake up and see what we could do without fighting each other all the time.
Me: I know right? Also the humongous headache on my third eye spot I had after that first dream and feeling lost in this world for 2 months...
If that isn't a sort of awakening then I don't know either.
M***ie: Very possible!
Me: I hope you can come across emet-selch someday. And ask questions.
M***ie: I will try. I would love to talk to him.
Me: Thanks! Just curious but when will you try again?
I understand emet might not appear but anything from the ffxiv world would add something right.
M***ie: I'll probably aim for this weekend so I can take some time to get into the right headspace
Me: Awesome, looking forward to it!
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Another dream very shortly summarized:
Elidibus was in it, but the story was about taking revenge on a woman who was toxic against my ex-boyfriend. (yeah we still live together to be parents of our son, and he got nowhere else to go to but doesn't got a new girlfriend in RL) so this woman was somehow locked up in a huge box with my character Ayane (ffxiv). She kept her hostage. Then I noticed Elidibus appeared out of nowhere. With a big grin on his face. While he was trash-talking that woman in I believe ancient language, I could free my character, while that toxic person remained in that box. What he did to her afterward I don't know. I was busy guiding my character away xD and casting a protection spell on her.
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Aug 20th
Me: is this the correct link perhaps? https://hermetic.com/fundamentals/journey/the-hermetic-cross
Here is a schedule of who and what to do.
M***ie: Hey, that's some good stuff. I hadn't seen that page before but I might use it myself.
Me: I am not sure if emet can hear me, but I made I wish he would contact you this weekend for the question I got. Let's hope he does come.
M***ie: I will let you know!
Me: Shall I put up some questions in case you encounter emet-selch?
M***ie: Ah, I didn't even think of that. That would be helpful, yeah
Me: Well make sure to re-read the first 2 dreams clearly, the sorrow of prolonging to go home while being an ascian hurts me still.
1:did you had any students during the times of Amaurot.
Even if he says no:
2: I met someone who dreamt that was your student. And an ascian as well.
Depending on how the conversation goes
If I was indeed a student of his or a convocation member.
Let him talk about me what I meant for him or something as a student. Or which office name I had if I was a convocation member.
4: about the 14th, after the 14th defected was the role taken by someone else after that? Even though it might be a short time.
4a if that happened: who was it? Was that her, your student?
5: several other people getting dreams about you telling them to come with you or to awaken now.
Depending on what he says
6: are those people that once belonged to your star the Source?
Additional info, in my dreams I am good friends with Igeyorhm and nabriales. And ofcourse sister of elidibus.
You can perhaps use that info if there isn't ringing any bells at him.
M***ie: Thank you for putting that together!
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August 21st
Moths are still present but very slowly they become less.
The public Discord group started with M***ie and Mito (Mito is a friend of mine and she preferred this alias for this story) but earlier this day I came in contact with Mysi*** on Twitter she was talking about a certain crystal that was very dear to her but went missing somehow. Later she sends me dm’s
Mysi: Actually, I've had encounters with Emet-Selch and Lahabrea, that I can recall. Perhaps they are from a different future timeline than the ones you know. I think they might be a timeline I perceived uniquely.
Me: Definitely true. I met someone who came in contact with elidibus (not in a dream!), and able to ask him, if my dreams about him being my brother are true.
Mysi: Lahabrea took away the soul crystal I was making, many years ago. But only recently told me why. Ahaha.
Me: why then?
Mysi: Oh it was so I wouldn't start relying on it for too many things...
Me: And where are these dreams or through a ritual or meditation?
Mysi: But when I was young I didn't know how it disappeared. I was so upset. And then recently he told me. Sometimes, it's way better to learn the hard way. The crystal itself was something I was making, but that disappeared. The latter was in a meditation session. When he told me, I mean.
Me: What kind of meditation? I often can't get into a trance for seeing things. Actually, I was never able to. Can you give me some advice perhaps? Elidibus wants to speak with me... Also, when I first saw these crystals in-game. I was like nooo! Noway, I drew these into the sand as a kid. But that is perhaps even a past-life image that came into the front of my eyes. But it feels like this one.
Mysi: It's a difficult skill, I'm not the best at it, it... takes lots of practice. The best thing I learned was to only try it for 2 minutes a day. Don't keep trying for longer because that will just fatigue you and get you used to sit there failing. It doesn't work every time for me, just sometimes. If it doesn't, I get up and say "well, today there was nothing, but I'll get to try again tomorrow."
Me: Ok but what do you do to get it? How do you do your meditation?
Mysi: I start by staring at a blank spot on the wall and thinking about my breathing. My mind sometimes will wander, but then I just try to think about breathing again. If I'm lucky, something clicks.
Me: Oh so with open eyes?! That is exactly what I need to do. He said in the waking world. If you wanna read the conversation the person got with elidibus. I think you definitely want to
Mysi: I'd like to if that person doesn't mind if you share it with me...
Me: The info was meant for me so I decide. I only share with people who had the same occurrences or dreams or believe the Source etc is real, (and I shared the entire elidibus chat I showed earlier in this chapter)
Mysi: That's lovely~ It sounds right to me... Of course, primals are given energy by the prayers of followers... and fans would definitely be contributing to that, even if they don't know it.
Me: Yeah me as well.
I hope the person will be able to talk to Emet-selch this weekend.
If you read my Twitter name you probably guess why. (twname: “emet-selch’s student and elidibus’s sister)
Mysi: *nods* Well! I also think it's good to study the magic course you're doing since our world is so different from theirs. I've been doing my best to learn from the traditions available to us here.
Me: I don't have the book yet, but your meditation advice will surely help. Often I got the idea my epilepsy is a distorted echo or something, but I can't get to it. Let's hope your advice will help me with it!
Mysi: I don't know my relation to them. They come and go along with others... I wouldn't be surprised to find out I was part of it, but they haven't yet told me. I certainly hope so!
Me: You were at least an amaurotine that’s for sure. But I think we are playing their past.
Perhaps the story writer was once an important character in the main story. And is unknowingly writing "the history of a star" a beautiful name for it right?
Mysi: It is all beautiful. By its very nature~
Me: If you get any other occurrences, pray tell me.
Mysi: I'll share whatever I can!
Me: Thank you! Also if you come across other people with these occurrences. Tell them you know more people. You are free to share the info I gave to you, but only with those I would share them too.
Mysi: I will. Thank you~
Me: Got 1 question.
The conversation you had with lahabrea and Emet-selch. Did you see them with your eyes or was it a conversation in your head where you could hear their voices?
Mysi: Both were in my head. (They were two different moments.) I saw images of them, and I heard them talking-- but it was more like looking at their picture.
Me: But with your eyes open?
Mysi: ...You know, I don't actually remember if my eyes were open or closed. I was so focused on them at the time...
I don't think it was a visual image, but directly in my mind.
Me: Interesting, Thank you for the info, let's hope it will eventually work!
Mysi: Always praying for success. <3
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I invited Mysi later on for our discord group that was being made that very same day.
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Dm’s with moonie
Me: Ok another someone on Twitter, who met lahabrea and Emet-selch and her disappeared memory crystal. Came through a simple meditation. I am so excited, to have more proof xD. Perhaps you do too.
M***ie: oh wow!!
Me: So that's a yes? :D
M***ie: I do not use Facebook or it would be a strong maybe.
Me: hmmmmm Yeah that's the thing with people. Rarely do they use both FB and Twitter.
But on Twitter, I can't make an actual group.
M***ie: Maybe a Discord server?
Me: hmmmm Good one. But I never started a discord group.
M***ie: It's pretty easy
Me: I will dig into it. Discord would indeed be a good alternative. Since most players got discord.
After this, she helped me set up the discord server.
Reminder: The things mentioned above were shared and/or copy-pasted into discord. and from here everything was in a public discord group. a lot was posted on Twitter too.
M***ie shared a story of a friend who wrote a physical letter to lahabrea.
Me: What did she write? Did he answer? Also if he answered how did he do that?
M***ie: I don't think she wrote it expecting an answer. More like just wanting him to know someone cares about him.
Me: Awwwwww, was it a physical letter?
M***ie: Yes, exactly
Me: Like thrown into the mail with only the name lahabrea on it and no address?
Oh, I know that method to get rid of psychological issues.
Didn't know it would also work to communicate with them
M***ie: Yeah! That's a good technique too.
Me: Does she have discord?
Is it “mysi*** repair the sundering”?
Because she contacted me this morning.
M***ie: Ahah yes, that is who I was thinking of. Welp
Me: I had send her an invite on Twitter but didn't respond yet
Btw, the ritual will you be doing that's on Saturday or Sunday?
M***ie: If I can, it would be Sunday probably. I work on Saturday
Me: Ok! No prob, patience is to be rewarded they say. So...
Let hope for Emet-selch.
M***ie: Hopefully he is not as... very much like him as usual. I did try once the other day briefly and got an "Ah. No." when even bringing up the idea of having a chat about this.
Me: Oh so you tried earlier?
M***ie: Hopefully persistence will be rewarded as well haha
Me: Yeah you're right. I hope your friend will join us.
M***ie: I've only talked to that person once, but they do seem like an awesome person in general ^^
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The letter I wrote for emet-selch in the hope of a reply via M***ie
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The third member of Discord joined we were with 4 now. I will redact her name with Mysi
August 23rd
Dm’s with m***ie on Twitter
Me: Omg my ex-bf is giving me preach about me being irresponsible about believing Elidibus and others are real without knowing their intentions or if they are even as in the game. He thinks by default he is evil ffs. And I need to be careful.
I already had that period, in the beginning, Elidibus asked me to join them, but I didn't say no or yes. Later my origin was pulling me and I joined but under the conditions, without tempering and maintaining my free will (which solely is a gift from planet earth) this was slightly after 5.2 or so.
So I became some sort of free-roaming ascian in my dreams.
I mean is that wrong? I don't believe so.
Sorry if I am bothering you with this. He doesn't have any faith in me doing the thing my way. Just because it is different from how he would do it.
M***ie: You aren't bothering me. I'm sorry he's hassling you. When it comes to things like this, trust what you know in your heart. It is better to keep it to yourself than to talk to people who doubt for no reason. I mean, it's good to check with other people you trust to make sure you aren't falling too deep into a rabbit hole but if someone is just negative for the sake of it or due to ignorance, it is better not to discuss those things with them, if that makes sense. I don't mean, don't talk to him if you do trust him, I just mean be careful so you aren't opening yourself to hurt and doubt I guess.
Me: I know what you mean, the problem is he already knew I was into ascians and stuff.
And he started again about it, he eased down a bit when let him read the elidibus Conversation. But now I gained a counter back hit ffs. I hope he gets a house of his own soon. Can't take this. He is not good for my spiritual growth...
M***ie: Okay, I'm glad that made sense! There's a saying that I'm not sure of the origins of, but regarding magic and general spiritual practices: "To know, to will, to dare, to keep silent." I think this is a good summary of the idea, and it's something I try to keep in mind https://learnreligions.com/to-know-dare-will-keep-silent-2561925
Me: Yeah I wish I read those sentences 8 months ago......Especially the silence part
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Discord posts:
Me: I think I know what Elidibus meant by "her soul will remember this requirement"
Since he wants me to connect with him in the waking world.
Means telepathy....right?
Is that also in that book or not? If not do you got resources to practice this?
Declares pretty much the liking of that ability when I was a kid and saw it in pokemon via Sabrina the gym leader and of course Mewtwo.
It's what I suppose to be able to...
The requirement to do so was lost over countless lives.
I wonder if it would still be worth the money to visit a QHHT specialist, to awaken it via my subconscious and previous lives. I have read about this in the Dolores Cannon books.
M***ie: Basically! Anything you can do to improve your clarity of communication. Any path you can find that you are comfortable with that helps you get in a habit of improving your psychic senses
Mysi: I remember my dreams most nights, but they're usually not interesting enough to be worth remembering. Sometimes they are. But often it's just stuff like trying to find what I need in a store or packing up in time to leave a hotel or boring things like that.
As for summoning spirits into crystals, I've done that often, actually~
M***ie: Dreams are strange. Mine like to pick a theme and then most of them revolve around that theme for years. I'm on a three-year run of "I am moving into a new house that is already filled with someone else's stuff and I just have to work around it and try to make the space my own."
Also, that's interesting stuff! I'm glad you're here in this chat ^^ Haven't done anything quite like that, but my house has a lot of guardians that either volunteered or were "adopted" by others.
Mysi: I spontaneously started doing it at a young age. I had one that I was building up as a central working point for years...and, I already told Ayane this story, but-- one day it disappeared. Back then, I was devastated, and also confused about how it could happen. I never took it off. It was secure, too. I spent so many years just... looking for it. Probably my entire teen years.
It was inspired by the Crystals of FFIV, whom I promised to protect.
A few months ago, in a meditation session, Lahabrea appeared and told me a story about how he saw me with it and took it away from me, so I wouldn't depend on it.
M***ie: Oh!!
Mysi: I was just shocked to finally have an answer. :D
M***ie: I'm sure! Finally getting some closure for something that bothered you for years
Mysi: I didn't think to ask, but wonder now if it had anything to do with its being specifically... I called it my Crystal of Light. I can see why he'd have thought it wasn't good for me.
and yes!
It was such an enormous thing for me, for a while I even made a yearly journey back to my old school to look for it in case it was there, even knowing it was so long gone
and to finally know... that's really amazing.
M***ie: Absolutely! I remember you mentioning working with the concept of crystals from FF. I wanted to know more but was too shy to pry since I'm out of practice and am shy about keeping my own strangeness to myself usually. But as I've been getting the advice here and there from certain beings we know and had that odd revelation about who I met when I was working to meet my higher self, I was curious to talk to others with similar experiences.
Mysi: Yes~ all of my original experimentation when I was young and had no resources came from FF. In retrospect, I should've known the answer would be in FF too. xD
Me: since I came to know with help of M***ie that elidibus pretty much confirmed being his sister.
This night well morning actually before I fell asleep I wished he could take me to the Source since my soul can travel anywhere when I am asleep.
Well, the Source didn't happen but he was particularly always in the background.
I was telling someone that I was his sister, and the guy was amazed. What has number 9, 13, and 14 to do in dreams? . 9 I couldn't figure out, but in my dream, I was making a message, with lose letters that stick on a board, the 13 and 14 were while putting them as numbers, the thought of Elidibus and the 14th.
But the 9 before was linked to him as well? I didn't get it and now I still don't.
The dreams went on watching a vid while I was in it myself from graduating from my education but I was swimming instead lol.
Later young Gohan from DBZ appeared in a dream that couldn't fly yet, he was about to be blasted away and I said: flying is easy you just jump and go.
He did that and succeeded. And escaped the flying huge warplane that looked like a transformer or Gundam.
I believe I learned something new in a dream the night before these but I was way too tired to write it down. And now I forgot
With this number, the angels are letting you know that you are divinely guided in regards to discovering your true soul mission, and you have the support of the Ascended Masters in this process.
Number 9 was the biggest list ever on spiritual things. But also included soul Purpose
THE NUMBER 14
Deliverance or salvation.
......
Well then,......... Shall I follow my brother's footsteps, and save this forsaken world from all the governments that are filling us with lies. And then I will finally go home.
The only problem I need magic for this..... Also to protect myself...
(yes I got the star sign Ophiuchus, resembling isn't it,? The way I think)
Later that day
Me: I found a rookie spiritual player. Who has also believed the ffxiv world exists somewhere in this universe. Did have 1 or 2 ascian dreams but were long ago or earlier this year and can't recall what it was about. Further her dreams are ffxiv related.
I told her it's a sensitive subject for you both. So I would like, to debate if you want her to join.
She seems to understand the problem that people will think you are crazy if you speak about such things as "believing a fictional world" is real.
M***ie: Oh! Amazing!
Me: So let her join?
M***ie: I don't see a problem with it since you already talked to them
Me: good
Another member “TK” joined. We are with 5 now. She preferred those initials to be used in this story.
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In a different channel within the server
Mysi: I can admit to having some real training in ceremonial magic, and all associated skills. My teachers are also a fairly skeptical group, but also capable. They can... They're... Well... Maybe I should leave it at that, they can get impressive results. I however am not Adept. I'm just a student trying to prepare myself. So I mostly try to stick with what I've been taught, but... of course, my perceptions of what they mean will still color things. I haven't advanced in a year. In fact, tomorrow marks a full year. I should have been further by now, according to schedule, but for them to do this I need to be able to travel and meet up with them again, so I'm kind of waiting out covid at this point.
In the meantime, I am ritually dead. (And then along came Emet-Selch...)
(Here I shared the previous stories with the words I heard and/or words in my head: "not to enjoy", my ex while asleep with Eli’s voice saying" yes those were already paid" and the flickering light event).
M***ie: Re: flickering lights. I still certainly feel that it wasn't just random. Strong vibes of someone protecting you/not wanting you to be hassled. Though, it could also have been you, subconsciously!
I've looked for a local group to study with before because I correctly doubted my ability to stay on track without external pressure and support. The closest thing I could find was a local OTO group and their forums were filled with drama. I don't quite vibe with Thelema entirely anyway. I keep an open mind about it though. I had once asked for assistance in finding my path and since then I notice the number 93 everywhere.
I can also vouch for Lahabrea being a teacher who exercises tough love. He is patient but won't hesitate to tell you if you are going about things in a stupid way, like cramming for a promotion interview late at night.
Me: Oh I haven't really had an encounter with lahabrea yet. Definitely his good and kind side then! How does he communicate with you?
M***ie: I speak with him mentally and sense his presence. He comes through more clearly than anyone.
Me: Oh interesting. So are you also actually hearing his voice then in your head.
M***ie: Exactly
Me: Hmm yeah I tried last night to contact Elidibus, but I was uncertain if it were my own thoughts since it wasn't exactly with his voice.
I believe I heard 1 word at the end which was "Sleep" it was about 12am so.
But before that let's say halfway I suddenly started to cry about Amaurot..... And my possible previous life there as his sister.
I want to know.............
But you are actually hearing his voice. That's quite something, I don't think your brain is playing tricks on you on that account. I mean how would you even come up with the sentences Elidibus spoke to you. I think if it were your own mind it wouldn't be so detailed or long in answers don't ya think?
M***ie: Don't feel bad, because I don't always hear his voice clearly as his voice- it's more maybe an understanding. Sometimes neither of us has to finish a full sentence because the understanding is just there. And thank you. I mean, sometimes what I hear is what I want to hear, and sometimes it's not. Sometimes it is things I could conceivably make up, sometimes I'm left wondering.
Also, I'm aiming to try what we talked about tonight but it might wait until tomorrow. I'm in the mood to make a bigger deal of things so I've been cleaning up my space back here to have real working space again. Also, if I'm unable to get answers from who you wish me to speak with, I'll be better set up to see if I can meet with my higher self again and learn anything new for any of us
Me: Yes I understand, if you can't contact emet-selch then perhaps lahabrea knows some of the answers. So no attempt on emet today?
M***ie: I'll keep you posted!
Me: Thanks
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Me: When you go to a medium and these cards are pulled (first weekend after 5.3).
I never felt so with Elidibus.
The top card says, Hope.
Bottom: let it go, and it will be alright
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August 24th
M***ie did a session for me twice:
The first one was shared via Twitter DM but wasn’t very successful. But I will share it anyway
M***ie: Standard disclaimer, I could be wrong about any all of this, but this is what came to me in meditation tonight:
It was an amusing mistake on both our parts to ask if Emet-Selch took on students because the implication in the answer was "yes, certainly. But you didn't ask if *Hades* did." But the answer was yes and I'll leave it to you if you think it answers the above.
I'm paraphrasing here but: He did take on students in a manner of speaking, though it was less something he sought out and more something that simply happened to him. You there, stop doing that or you'll blow yourself up. Or someone else. What do you mean, why? -Sigh-. If you must know the answer to such an obvious question... Follow me.
And next, he knew, he was assigning reading lists... So, now what have we learned about ___? Satisfied now?
But he could never quite leave a seeker well alone, especially if the field they were interested in was something he enjoyed as well or they showed a knack for seeing the truth of souls. He would check back in, appearing to bump into them by surprise when he sought them out or pretending to be irritated to see them. He almost convinced himself he was.
I know you had a lot more questions but the constant response I get when pressing for any specifics is "she must ask us herself for it is her truth"
But that also seems to fit in with what you sensed about Emet-Selch. There is an agenda regarding wanting people to awaken to their personal truths.
Me: Oh not really convincing info. Personal truths sound like making your own fantasy real. That I wasn't searching for. But would there be such a difference in emet-selch or asking Hades? I mean we only know him as emet-selch which is hades. You could try to contact him again if possible but with hades?
M***ie: Entirely fair! I can't hit the mark every time. I feel that. I got a lot of personal stuff out of this venture as well and I told almost the same thing to another friend- It sounds like a fanfic or wish fulfillment but perhaps I'm just being too skeptical/critical. But I keep getting from them that they want us to do the work to improve ourselves.
I feel the tone of that above part sounds like Hades and someone was having a bit of a laugh at my expense for not being specific.
Me: It indeed sounds like him true, if you consider how they fan-voiced him in that through-his-eyes animation. I had hoped you were able to ask just like at Elidibus that you met someone who dreamed that she was your student, which is the same person who is presumably Elidibus's Sister. If I could get an answer to that, it would clarify more. I mean that Elidibus chat was Legit, didn't feel it was like you are living your fantasy. He actually responded to questions. It's quite a difference here. I hope you got a chance to redo the chat. I mean where did that being an ascian dream come from out of nowhere. And thank emet-selch for the training. Well, I need to get back to sleep, if I still can.
If possible I hope you can redo the chat. Because yeah,...
M***ie: I understand wanting more direct answers, I do. I'm just still learning and flailing about myself too and I get pushback when I try to get too specific. The message is we all need to do our own work but I understand all too well how that feels. I went to that other friend to check myself and she's going to try to help me tomorrow with better trusting myself and what I hear. It could be a self-doubt thing that blocks me sometimes too.
Me: Oh I hope you can get a better result after that. Also, I got the feeling lahabrea might know some of these answers as well! I am not sure if I just spontaneously contacted him. I asked him to connect with you to see if he gives the same answers. Ask if I was emet-selch's/hades' student and elidibus's sister. And where being an ascian dream came from/being part of the convocation more or less. I got slight answers. But I wanna verify that first before I tell you. This way I might be sure I didn't make this up.
M***ie: I understand that. I'm having a similar struggle.
Then I'll share some of the parts that were more personal to me. I pressed again to get a glimpse of any past we might have had in Amaurot. Not a shared past, just in general, but I saw myself walking through a college and bumped into someone I knew was you and smiled.
There was an indication that people on Earth who have these memories were there for the Final Days and didn't survive to be part of the sacrifice and so part of those souls ended up adrift.
If any of that fits with what you've picked up, I would love to know because I too would love some verification that it's not just weirdness. Lahabrea seems to confirm that, but I . . . Have self-esteem issues so -shrugs-
My shaman friend is visiting tomorrow and is willing to throw her less-biased divination skills into the mix so I will ask questions on your behalf as well.
Me: If you get a chance of asking if I was a member of the convocation then please do so. I mean even my cosplay doesn't have any armor on it yet, it feels very dear to me. Something that was lost.
M***ie: I will definitely ask for you! I can understand that. That is how I feel looking at images of Amaurot.
Me: Amaurot I know what you mean... I feel I wanna go home.....
But lahabrea seems to be more direct with actual answers, instead of emet-selch's floating truths lol.
But 1 question here, Elidibus said he didn't think about sundered souls coming here right?
So that leaves the question, was I sundered or not?
Even though he said our soul is whole here, how would that happen actually? Did we take all the shards with us?
Oh btw, you said you bumped into me right? Was I wearing a mask if so, was it red or white?
M***ie: White, as was mine, but I got the feeling that it was a distant past.
Me: Could we indeed wayyy before.
M***ie: I'll have to ask/think about the rest. Exactly. That's the feeling I got from it.
Later that day
Me: Btw thanks for letting me know about that scene you had where you bumped into me in amaurot. This already gives me slight confirmation. Thanks for sharing that.
M***ie: Gladly! Damn. I just found out my friend can't visit today. Next week, I hope
Me: Oh noooo!
Well if you try to contact lahabrea perhaps?
Since he is more of the direct answers.
M***ie: Shall do! Later. After lunch and probably a nap.
Me: OK!
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Discord conversations
Mysi: One of my better skills, or at least my most impressive-result skills, is automatic writing. It's just like that, sentences I didn't come up with. Occasionally on topics that haven't happened yet. Wherever I get this, it seems to come from outside time.
I've got a brief story to share now. I was reading an old Christian prayer manual (I find that some Christian books have useful stuff in them even though I'm pagan, so I just read them and skip over the chapters where they're being sexist or whatever else I don't like.)
Anyway, it ended with a prayer to Mary, but addressed her as "O holy queen".
Having done that, I sat down for an automatic writing session and promptly got a couple of paragraphs from Emmerololth. When I looked at what I'd done, I just... giggled... I didn't mean to summon her but I can see how I did!
(She talked a little about not questioning the usefulness of whatever my heart tells me, and also a little bit about happiness arising from acceptance/contentment. "Discontent is the real malaise" is the last thing I got.)
Me: What the fock, how does that automatic writing actually works? M***ie is using it too I believe.
What do you do to get this?
I am afraid if I would try I just write a fanfiction instead lol.
But since you are more content with this method. Can you perhaps ask questions to Emmoroloth?
Mysi: I could definitely try, but I can't promise results. It's up to a lot of factors, including her, circumstances, etc.
Me: I understand. also she might not know everything ofcourse. Considering my dreams of being an ascian:
Was I a member of the convocation? (if you need a picture of me to make it easier I can give that)
And are there any truths in my dreams, considering being Elidibus's Sister and a student of Hades.
Mysi: Ayane, I think a name would be more helpful to me than a picture since I'm somewhat face-blind... like, what would she call you?
if you can't give your name, that's fine and I'll just do what I can to envision you
(I gave her my real name)
Mysi: Okay! That's a nice name~
M***ie: (bare with me - typing up today's results)
Me: Did you have a chance to talk to lahabrea?
M***ie: Yes, but I'm still typing it all up
Me: thanks
(second session):
M***ie: Now, I'd like to say I've tried to find Ayane's answers in many different ways now. Part of this is me throwing myself fully back into things I've missed doing. Having a reason to do it finally has been nice. Now, perhaps Mysi*** will get different results from mine, but mine are at this point extremely clear but in a way that you will not like to hear. As I told Ayane, this could be due to a lacking on my part, though I've been told it is not. Maybe I'm not good enough at this to hear the true answer? I will leave it to you to decide. The answer I get, time and time again is the same. We won't give you a solid answer for her because she has to do the work herself. This last round was more specific. I did a quick 3 card tarot reading and when I was thinking about the results, I was compelled to start writing. I specifically asked one simple question first - Is Ayane Elidibus's sister. I got the Ace of Cups - for the spiritual and emotional fulfillment you need, you must open your ears to your inner voice. The Hanged Man - Self-sacrifice. This card makes me think so much of Elidibus. But it also means walking your own spiritual path. It was here that I started writing, on Elidibus' behalf again. Note - I hadn't talked to him at all before we met so that may be a sign on its own.
"It is a civic duty to know thyself and criminal to determine the will of another. That is not a failing on your part. You see me and you hear clearly. Her innocence and desire to have her answers is also not a failing, but a starting point." I talked to Lahabrea as well and his words were: "What is the point in answering a question if the asker cannot understand how the answer was reached? It falls not to you to untangle another's labyrinth, though handing them the quill and parchment and suggesting they map it is noble."
I know this is incredibly frustrating to hear because I also would like outside confirmation of the things I hear, rather than having to rely on my own interpretations. Ironically, when I couldn't sleep last night because I was ruminating on what I learned for myself, I was compelled then to pull a card for myself. I asked "was what I learned today true?" and got the Knight of Coins who yelled to me "Do the work. Do the work for yourself. Find the answer yourself." However, I told you I pulled 3 cards for you. The last remained face down because I realized it was the wrong card. I picked up the deck and flipped it over, completely sure I would see the correct card there, and the bottom card was The Sun - I don't even need to look up a formal definition of it to understand it is meaningful when thinking about the Convocation.
Me: Wait wait wait what what what what xD, the sun (azem? Wait what )xD so that might still be a hint that I was part of the convocation then?
M***ie: That card pretty loudly made itself known! It was a very strong sensation that said "No!!!! Not that card. THAT one!!!" But -gestures at everything else regarding specific interpretations-
I am going to go offline for a while. My head feels full and heavy and I'm very tired after writing that up. But I'll be back later.
Me: But was the sun the wrong card or the correct card then?
M***ie: No no the Sun was Absolutely the Right card
Me: Wtf xD, I cannot imagine I would be the defector. That would make me the WoL pretty much. What am I doing here on earth xD. I just what?! XD. I am like ehhhhhhhhhhh What? XD hahaha
M***ie: Azem is the title no matter who holds the seat
Me: That's true, I might have been a follow-up. Even though for a short time, perhaps. Thanks for your help. I hope your friend is going to get some answers next week then. For the sake of us all.
M***ie: Thank you for the thank you!
Me: I asked my higher self questions regarding this new info. According to her with yes-no answers: I was indeed the follow-up of the 14th, I wasn't sacrificed, and my soul is indeed sundered as Elidibus said.
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August 25th
Me: Question! :
This part: “It is a civic duty to know thyself and criminal to determine the will of another. That is not a failing on your part. You see me and you hear clearly. Her innocence and desire to have her answers is also not a failing, but a starting point.” Was elidibus saying this?
M***ie: Yes, it was Elidibus
Me: What exactly does he mean with the first sentence? The civic duty part.
M***ie: Civic duty is a basic social obligation for the Ancients. I found this interesting myself.
Me: So you need to know each other better to get answers for the other?
M***ie: They are all saying we have to get our own answers for ourselves.
I almost wonder who or what gave me that sun card though because it was the one thing that seemed to go against that.
Me: Ohh ok, yeah, that was my next question. So you don't know. Not any idea who it could be? Which vibe did you feel of whom it could be? If it didn't feel like Elidibus or lahabrea, Could it be Emet? I wonder, even though he was so vague in what sounded like making your fantasy real, which is not what we are here for right now FFS… And might have something like: ok here, fingersnap. I'm just throwing possibilities here. If you think it was not Emet, I would like to hear that ofcourse.
Wait… Why does Igeyorhm come to mind?
...... Even though I had only 2 dreams with her, she was a very good friend (it felt that way). Maybe just maybe? I am going to sleep now. I will see your answer perhaps when I wake up during the night or so.
M***ie: Sleep well! I didn't get any specific vibe one way or another from that guidance, unfortunately. I'm at least sure I would have known if it was one of the Ascians. Though I have not spoken with Igeyorhm, but still definitely not.
(then I asked my higher self who it could be. But I think this was answered in my favor at that time because it landed on Ryne and that doesn’t make any sense, because she is still alive and simply cannot come here. I rather think it was M***ie’s HS instead.)
Me: What are your thoughts on this, could you picture Ryne as the one who pulled that card?
M***ie: Maybe? There was a bit of a feeling of amused happiness there when I saw the card, but I thought it might just be me. It will definitely have to wait a bit off, I'm looking into it further. I'm back at the busy part of my week.
I never realized you could be spiritually out of shape like one can be physically. It was surprisingly exhausting, and that's coming from someone who casually chats with “my muses” while writing often, hehe.
Me: Well, the fact this one was so exhausting, tells a lot that you had actually answers. I mean especially pulling the sun. I am so happy. xD
M***ie: Yeah, it was very much “oh. That's a different feeling.” I'm glad ^^
Me: Glad that you were able to get an answer.!
The most annoying part of it is, that the unsundered don't give the answers, while my higher self is like: here are your answers.
I technically got answers already from my higher self. I am only asking for confirmation… Sigh, Ya know, extra evidence like you want as well.
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August 27th
Me: Not sure if it was my fantasy, well it started that way, but not sure if the end was still fantasied.
Fantasy part: I imagined I actually summoned elidibus during Halloween in the forest at the FFXIV Halloween party (that is planned) because of the full moon. And when he actually appeared (transparent) I cried about missing him so much. From here, don't know if It's still fantasy :
We hugged (somehow). And then he needed to go, and said: “I will pick you up when you lived out your life here and your last breath is spent, but don't commit suicide”. He left and I cried heavily for real. And I do so now, writing this.
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August 28th
Dm’s with moonie on Twitter
Me: is your friend coming on Sunday or Monday?
Because I might have an idea to fish for answers without directly notifying me in the questions. (unless they figure out that immediately)
I mean questions like:
When the 14th seat was left vacant, was there someone who took it over?
But aside from me totally.
I want to know in which time era they live now.
Is the game we play, their long eons ago past? Or did the happenings in the first happen recently? (I doubt that, though)
Elidibus still spoke of their star is their everything. So it's still going on, I presume?
If he is even able to come here, then he is freed of the tower? (Omg would be spoilers lol).
I hope you got the same questions or else they will probably sense those are mine lol.
M***ie: Oooh! Good questions! I get the sense that the game events haven't happened like everything is right at the start of 2.0 basically. Post calamity, pre any one of them being slain by the WoL.
Me: But when did the sundering happen then?
I know my previous lives go back to Atlantis.
Which is 12000–14000 years ago
Well, I hope your definition doesn't influence the results then.
Because they don't sound to be tempered atm. It really gives me the vibe we are playing their past. Also, the info is given that my first life on earth was just before Atlantis.
Ya know what? I'm going to ask my higher self the same questions. Then we can see if they give the same answers.
Ok, I am the second 14th. (EW note: or let's say the one after the defector)
We are playing their past,
Happenings in the first have already happened.
Their star is their everything, but the rejoinings no longer happening.
Elidibus is freed from the crystal tower! (add a note in 2021: ofcourse he is free, he was never locked up lol)
I also asked if we can ask questions about what can still happen because for them it already happened, but we don’t know!
Also playing their past question. I asked 6 months ago as well. I get the same answer now again.
I forgot I already asked before, lol
M***ie: Good to know!! Okay, that explains a bit because the Lahabrea I know is a lot calmer than he is in the game, and I wondered if he might be untempered.
Me: But yeah, I think they all are untempered, including the sundered.
M***ie: If that's the case, I'm glad. They deserve their freedom.
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Later, Mysi*** did her round in asking:
Mysi: Sorry, I've been so inactive! I do that sometimes;;
I did ask! Unfortunately, Emmerololth doesn't know, neither question is in her memories. She said a couple of things: 1) What's between Elidibus and you, it wouldn't be her place to tell his memories anyway. 2) “What is a sister, a sister to the reborn?” I know this doesn't make sense, but the feeling I had is that she was trying to say she thinks the more important bond is the one you remember, your bond with him now.
She was surprisingly easy to talk to, I probably should have expected the Aquarius to be communicative, but I didn't think of it before xD
Me: Hmm now that I think of it, Emmoroloth is a sundered ascian, not knowing her past. So yeah, it figures she doesn't know. But I take a bet, you didn't mention I had a dream about elidibus being my brother? Might be an essential detail. It came out of nowhere. My overall ascian fandom started after that one. After the first dream of being one myself, before that, I was only a fan of Emet after the first dream. My HS does confirm I am Elidibus's Sister and Emet-selch student, though I wish I could talk to them… Sigh, But then again, if you had mentioned it, it wouldn't be a much different answer. Because she can't remember.
Mysi: Yeah, sadly, it's just not something in her memories! She does have a good point that he's the one to ask, but I feel like the Sundered are easier for me to transcribe worded messages from. The Unsundered tend to be like “I will impress this directly into your mind”, ahaha~. But that just makes it all the more likely, I think, that he sent the dream to let you know.
Typical, isn’t it? Well, not so much for the reader at this point. But from the people who knew me going from sister to lover in my Twitter name and gained brain vomits of it (pfft hahahahah). That's going to be an explicit, long chapter about my bond with Elidibus. It will all be explained how and why. But before we get there, let's continue with this one first.
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August 29th
Twitter dm’s
Me: I just ask my higher self some additional questions about how far they are in the future regarding a character's age.
The twins in the source are in their 40s!
And Ryne in the first somewhere in her 50's because the flow of time differs from the source.
I was very surprised that they are still alive! I expected some 100+ years into the future at first
do you know if your shaman friend is coming?
M***ie: Oh good question. I will check. I swear, the Unsundered are infuriating sometimes but I adore them no less for it. I had her ask a question on my behalf and she got back "We have discussed this several times. If she can't accept what she has been told, the problem is hers to resolve."
Me: wait that was your question your friend asked toward the unsundered? what was the question?
what has been told you than before?
M***ie: I don't feel entirely comfortable going into it yet but it involves my own connections/my higher self
Me: oh, you really don't wanna talk about it? I mean my HS said that yours was an ancient.
somehow my HS can answer everything even if you keep asking the same question I love it.
I can ask my HS also question for you ya know, she isn't picky xD
M***ie: I'm working right now but I'll try to find a way to phrase the question so it's not leading, and thank you!
The conversation went elsewhere she never came back with questions for me to ask. Sadly I never was able to return the favor.
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August 30th
M***ie replied to the session of Mysi
M***ie: There seems to be a common theme of "you need to learn this on your own and trust the answers you find yourself." I actually appreciate that, even if it is somehow difficult to take because we want that outside confirmation. Someone else to say, "yes, you're right." But that's not the right way to go about it. I was reflecting on this earlier and pulled a tarot card with a general "what's my best path/what can I do here for the Ascians" thought process. Just something that seemed correct to do. Pulled Judgement. The ongoing message of "DO THE WORK" could not be any more clear. It is consistent in every work I do.
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In a different channel:
M***ie and mysi were rambling about Americans’ laziness toward others, that they wouldn’t sacrifice themselves to save anyone.
Me: Well back to the subject, I asked my higher self some questions, and the ascians aren't tempered anymore. They have literally become light beings.
Mysi: I rather suspect the ones you spoke with aren't the same as the ones I know. But light beings, are fascinating. I'd like to hear more about that!
Me: My HS isn't one of them that's true but she answers questions even for other people
Mysi: nods. So they have switched from darkness to light?
Me: Yes you can see it that way.
Mysi: How do you see it though?
Me: I didn't actually ask if they switched,
I asked if they were all untempered (yes),
If Elidibus is freed from the tower (yes)
Did they become light beings because of the untempering (yes)
Mysi: Ahh, I see~
Well, they were the Scions of Light in FFXII...
Me: That's what I thought about it as well afterward.
Mysi: I'm not well versed in optics, but what appears solid yet doesn't cast a shadow? The light source itself.
I'm not sure if anything else could-- the solid appearance catches up all the light and that's why a shadow is made, right?
M***ie: That makes an interesting amount of sense, yes. I'm about to sleep, but I haven't picked up much on that one way or another. I can say that when I speak with Lahabrea, he is still lacking some memories of his past but is not suffering from soul degradation, as some call it. Calmer, clearer. But this doesn't strike me as anything that pinpoints a timeframe of our reality vs the game.
Sleepiness makes putting vague concepts into words even harder than normal.
Mysi: That's really good to hear. When I think about how hard he worked for everyone, even to the point of harming himself, it's so sad~ I want him to be okay.
Anyway, sleep well, and may pleasant dreams chase you down!
I wonder if the darkness /became/ the light through inversion. After all, their star seems to have some principles of darkness and light switched from ours. As an easy example, darkness is passive and light active, here.
M***ie: Ah, I'm glad that isn't in contradiction with your experiences, because it was a relief for me too.
Thank you, and I'm glad we got to talk more!
That's something to think about, certainly, because you are right. I did see that as backward in the game's description vs what I've learned/intuited about the elements
-slaps the phone out of my own hands-
Me: Also read the HS channel I added,
I asked questions about the game etc.
We are indeed playing their past, and they are not much into the future either.
If the twins are in their 40s atm they are a bit more than 20y into the future.
Mysi: I'm trying to imagine 40-year-old Alphinaud. Wow~
Me: Probably some hot sick Fock like Estinien.
Mysi: Oh I don't doubt it~ They're probably both super hot
Me: Yeah xD
I forgot to add, the time between theirs and ours seems to be aligned atm.
I asked if I would ask again over 10 years if they will be in their 50s. I got a yes.
Then I asked if the time flows the same as ours now(yes).
Very interesting!
Mysi: Yes! It is, after all, the time when our world is hearing about theirs, so maybe they are particularly close at this moment~
Ah, it's pretty late here, I'm gonna do some reading before bed~ Take care!!
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Little side note. It's very important to ask which years of which planet when you ask these things. But I didn’t know back then. Because their world has definitely differences from ours in comparison to time. The number of days and months in a year, the number of hours in a day. All of that is in October/November 2021 chapters. So keep on reading!
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August 31st
Me: Is your friend coming btw?
M***ie: No :/ She's having a couch delivered today ffff
Me: maybe it's an idea to make an appointment with each other?
I wonder if she can get other answers about me.
what I need to learn or to train to communicate with Elidibus.
if Elidibus is looking forward to it communicating with me, I would love to know which method.
I know he is there if you read the discord channel XD but I can't hear him :/
M***ie: Oooh, good questions. I'll ask her to see if she can still get us some answers in her free time.
One thing I can say though? Stop telling yourself you can't hear him. Tell yourself that you will.
You just haven't *yet*
Me: but I don’t hear his voice as you can. even if I wish it to be so... I only hear my own thoughts and voice not his...how did you manage to learn this,?
M**ie: I just truly believe you can do it!
Me: thanks but I still wish to know if there is anything I NEED to learn to communicate with him. and not just something vague. but which method.
M***ie: Understandable. I mean, the ideal method will vary from person to person but meditation is pretty consistently the best place to start. I've started working to make it a habit for myself.
But I'll still ask for any insight I can get for you on that.
Me: thank you so much!
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Here are some dreams leftovers of the month of august:
On August 24th
I had a dream I went through several past events in my youth to set things straight it was actual time travel in this case because I crawled in the skin of my father somehow and notice how I was annoying my “dad” while he needed to work. Very strange to experience because you literally see yourself as a kid and you being your own dad.
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August 26th
this wasn’t a dream btw I saw it happening with my eyes closed, similar to astral travel in the way of seeing.
I saw myself from a distance in an ascian cloak. And I noticed Elidibus and ran towards him almost crying and gave him a big hug.
The moths we had are gone now in the house iirc.
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August 27th
I was being chased by a symbiote-like creature, ya know that thing from spiderman.
After a while, I was able to corner him with my family-in-law. The guy that helped me corner the creature somehow decided to like his neck.
Me: no don’t or else you become one as well!
The guy turned weird/sick in his head.
Me: please leave, hurry.
But then the creature turned back into a human it was my (ex) brother-in-law but he had blond hair instead of black. he started to remember who he was.
Me: wait, take a seat, focus on who you once was.
I placed my hand on his forehead and healed him. And took the darkness away from his body but that gave the result he shrunk in length. When I finished he went towards his mom in child-size length but was still an adult.
Me: oh so that’s how it works with elidibus
His mom restyled his hair (it was messy)
Me: this is temporary, he will regain his length soon.
the dream ended here.
The dream had a clear reference to Elidibus. Yet it was my brother-in-law in this dream with a similar fate. But that Elidibus was so small at the end of SoS was symbolic and temporary.
August 29th
I was in a schoolyard well soccer area I needed to go to the bathroom but before that, I asked if I could join. It was a group of my old classmates from primary school but all grown up. If I wanted to join I would be under the command of a mean mentor.
Me *shrugs* I don’t care.
I turned around and the soccer field turned into a building and the room I was in was nothing but glass. The building was high. I noticed waterspouts. (in dutch “waterhoos” doesn’t translate properly those are whirlwinds with water like a tiny tornado but harmless), in groups of 3.
Me: what does this mean? I don’t know what but it does mean something.
I wanted to make a big one of all of them together with my powers but decided to go to the toilet firstly.
Old classmate Nadja: just go already your telekinesis doesn’t work yet.
I went to the toilet
Me: yeah let’s see about that.
I was sitting on the toilet but apparently, I didn’t need to go anyway. So I went off.
I walked through the building, and something was going on. Some students were behaving strangely. Apparently, I knew what it was and searched for a teacher to speak privately. The students have turned crazy of dark energy. I asked for a soundproofed space so no one could hear us talking. We needed to go to the auditorium but the last hallway that lead to there, we needed to sneak and crawl on the floor or else we would be seen. When we opened the door it was like a meeting already going on about the subject we wanted to talk about.
Some old guy: oh If you wanted to join you could have said so.
I went to sit somewhere, and some students were released from their dark energy. But instead of the dark energy that was being destroyed, I absorbed it because it made me stronger. After that, I went outside and went through a Void portal did this with the rest of the people who were still influenced
Me: Finally
With a simple hand gesture, I pulled away their dark energy to make me stronger. But after a given moment I was wanted. I first tried to lose them by traveling through void portals but that didn’t work. Then I decided to grab a host body to possess. a very tall man I believe he was 10ft tall at least. This time I was able to see (unlike the first time). I walked around in it and greeted the ones who were actually searching for me. And this was a success. But then I wanted to go through a void portal with that body. But that didn’t work. I became separated from that body as a result. When separated I tried to focus on my destination or my home(source/ffxiv home). Alas, I landed in the exact same spot as where I went through the portal.
Me: I hope I can ever go home
………………………
Well, that was the month of August. September and October will be interesting lots of revealing stuff
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