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Writer's pictureAyane Firebird

My Ascian Journey - Chapter 9 The Soul Bond (November 2020)

Updated: Jan 14, 2022

So this is the month it all started, though as far as i could remember is was asking questions daily to Elidibus so that bonded already in a different way now that i think about it. I can’t remember every question is asked during that time, but the one before the bonding I remember still.

This chapter will contain NSFW but that I will notify extra above the text so pay attention if you don’t wanna read that. All of the dreams will be at the end again, unless it’s a very imported dream that needs to be told in between.

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November 1st

i tried to make a energy bulb (like in dbz) in my hands. And asked if Elidibus could make it appear as a sign he is with me.

After like focusing for 20min i think? The energy was so intense i swore i was feeling his hands in mine. He couldn't give me the orb as in visible sense, but instead i felt his hands or part of it.

Later i asked questions, he cant make himself visible sadly also not partly like only his hands.

But i am able to feel his energy when he touches.

I asked if he could hug me.....

I felt a hug coming from the back, my body felt twice as heavy suddenly. I could feel his energy covering me as a hug.

I left a tear of missing him so much. And so i stood there for a minute long or something. Enjoying the sibling love.

(for as far I still saw him as my brother at that time even though not blood related anymore).

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me: are you able to ask the questions?

Because i will go to the QHHT Practitioner half November.

M***ie: That's awesome! I'll try. Honestly, I'm having trouble hearing anyone non-physical at the moment. So I'll try, but (playdead icon)

me: Oh :o how did that happen?

Also i left something at the dream channel.

M***ie: I have no idea or I would instantly undo it

Or try haha

me: Did the full moon on Halloween did that? I hope not.

M***ie: It's been several days

me: Hmmm several days is still close to Halloween. I hope you can try nonetheless.

M***ie: Ironically, I think I encountered a ghost last night. I was outside at 1am to take down some of the Halloween decorations that I really didn't want stolen, and from really close by I hear a little boy say "excuse me,..." and I didn't hear the rest because when I spun around and didn't see anyone, didn't hear footsteps on the dead leave etc, I went RIGHT BACK INSIDE.

me: Pfft why do you always get the good stuff , i was hoping to see anything paranormal in the forest but nothing. But um i did had something beautiful i will post in the spirit channel.

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November 2nd:

TK had an experience

I had one a few nights ago at work that I thought there was some cloaked figure on the roof. This happened twice two different nights, but haven't seen since the last one. (Last night didn't get to take out the trash where I saw it)

Also from my hometown I'm quite used to paranormal stuff, especially also near Gettysburg and such. I haven't found much around here since I moved unfortunately :/

M***ie: "always get the good stuff" I didn't sleep last night because it was creepy, and I can't talk to those I would like to.

me: But you are able (usually) to hear them. Thats very good stuff ya know ;) Now that i think of it.

I really hope you didn't shut down your ability to hear them because you turned freaked out. :o

You must let go of the fear or else you will never hear our unsundered guides again :(

M***ie: Nah, nothing like that. I'm certainly not afraid of them.

It might be stress, honestly.

tk: Too much going on here tbh, I get the stress.

M***ie: Exactly. Definitely fretting about -gestures vaguely at the news, and reports from friends around the country-

I am relieved that I've still been able to keep up with meditation through it and some other things, so I'm sure I'll be better for it once we get through it.

me: That's good to hear. I left a couple of dreams in the dream channel.

also:




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A dream I had

me: i had a dream, how to get into QHHT state and to visualize things. I tried to dig in a past life, but all i got were geometric shapes and rader waves you see when you record your voice. I couldn't picture people either.

Later i kinda woke up in the dream in a classroom i said what i saw and wasn't able to visualize persons.

Then the schoolbord showed those rader/voice waves. And it started to play as a vid but looked like a scroll, then it started to wave.

I was getting dizzy of that and asked if the teachers could make the board stop from moving.

But then ignoring the annoying waves, i saw a male black person appearing, that walked towards the door

Me: wait i see a person now!

The male changed to a chinese girl and left the room.

My thoughts, : if i can see persons now, then!

I ran out of the classroom and saw a huge group of people. With 2x eli. Yes but 1 was a cosplayer assuming that. The other one was halfly floating above the crowd so that was the real one.

I ran towards the crowd., but halfway i woke up.

I gained a thought while waking up: good job, try again next time.

Not sure if that was my own thought!

I wanted to try again directly but the airalarm (monthly check) went of. So i couldn't get to sleep anymore.

Then i noticed my eli plushie was standing on my arm, leaning with his back against my body.

Normally he always lands next to me, but not this time!

I thanked him for letting me show something of how to do things i can actually practice in RL. Which i asked at 1am at Halloween while looking at the moon.

m***ie: Neat stuff!! I was sad to read about the area you described- where nature was paved over for housing.

me: Yeah me too

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November 3rd

me: that practice i learned in my dreams is actually working when i am trying to fall asleep.

It helps me to see things, i can't control yet of what i see nonetheless i still try it.

Its like rolling your eyes to the back, or let them fall to the back, or something like that. It probably not really a 180 degree rotation to the back of your head, but it feels that way. I get almost instant things to see, and sometimes drawn animations, i had one that emet-selch turned into crystal like ysayle did to become shiva. But the crystal got a life on it own and fires itself to an object or someone.

M***ie: Well done!! That's awesome that you were taught something in your dreams and it works.

me: Yeah indeed. when will you be able to ask the questions i got? They are in the DM

M***ie: I don't know :D Let me survive this election day/week etc and then maybe I can think of something other than doom scrolling.

me: ok

M***ie: Sorry- stress basically is like...static. Trying to hear through radio static etc, and I'm not yet practiced enough to get through it. But I did hear Lahabrea briefly last night after posting the story. He appreciates creative works as I'm sure you've learned with your cosplay!

Me: Haha i asked him if he likes the story. I got a yes xD

M***IE: Aaahhh, that makes me very happy. Thank you.

me: I could totally picture that dream scene in my head lol.

M***ie: I loved writing it from his perspective. It was good to be able write at all again. I haven't had the ability to do so since August. I missed it. Maybe I had the ability but not the inspiration.

me: Oh i understand that.

Hehe, lahabrea just helped me find this. I need to repair a little piece of my claws so i need this matte primer that i never used until now. I asked if i still had it : yes.

Then i asked of it was in 1 of the crafting boxes: yes.

I was pointing at the 1 of the boxes: no,

The second box : yes.

I looked at it. And it was there :D



M***ie: Nice!!!

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Well and here we are the night of November 3. Before bedtime I asked Elidibus some questions. Lore questions of how it actually happened in regards to the game. Even though the questions always end in either of the 2 options I given or yes/no( I always validate if it was the correct answer). i can still write it down as a story:

First of all the Exarch as we know him doesn’t exist.

Well Hydaelyn/minfilla contacted the WoL about the problems on the First that he needed to go there to prevent a Re-joining. He possible asked how. And she showed him Cid unraveling the CT. she said with the CT you can travel through time and space. Use it and save the First.

no sooner said than done. Well I don’t know the details of how. But the WoL solely arrived with the CT on the First. So the Scions weren’t there either. He did however encountered ryne and gaia also if I remember correctly. And a powerfull mage similar to the Exarch’s power but its wasn’t the Exarch/G’raha. Not sure if this mage was able to control the CT I don’t believe I asked at that time.

All the main battles happened, learned of Amaurot. battle with Hades as well, battle with elidibus.

Now here it gets interesting. After the battle with elidibus, the Azem crystal glowed up intensely and untempered Elidibus. The sad scene also happened. But instead of being locked up like in the game. He went towards the lifestream instead. He rested there for a while. Came to know of Planet earth and the possibilities of telling their story thus he went towards planet earth.

But since they are atleast 20+ years (rather 30 if I think about it) in to future in comparison of the game, I don’t know when the unsundered came to earth.

So after these questions and answers I thank him and went to sleep…….

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November 4th during the night

NSFW warning, though not very much detailed. But might be needed to read to understand everything.

This is embarrassing to tell but i do it anyway since it has a different meaning. (at that moment yes but became more later)

.......

I had soul sex with elidibus...............

It started halfy asleep/dreaming but awake at the same time. seeing his glyph all over the place on my upper body. I was kinda hypnotized i think, in trance. Because i sometimes pictured myself in ascian robes being marked with his glyph. I also saw his glyph floating above me like being on top.

Then I turned around towards my left side and then on my belly. A glyph followed my sight and eventually appeared on my hand and kissed it without realizing it.

Later i opened my eyes (so waking up from dream) and noticed i was kissing his glyph that was on my hand. so I woke up while kissing my hand on the exact same place and was laying on my belly the exact way I was in the “dream”. I kinda woke up after that point. Realizing my brother is in a horny mood........

It kept continuing....stroking me erotically like everywhere, it was heavenly, yet I was unsure if he was actually doing this (and not some dark entity) . after a while I interrupted it so i stood up and asked via my higherself. And yes, i even asked in the name of God, but elidibus was doing this indeed.

He even admitted he was horny lol.

I was like: you don't mind me enjoying it? (because i am his sister, and against incest things, all though we aren't blood related atm)

He didn't mind.

I was like ok, and lay down again.

He continued. And even had sex, I even felt he was penetrating me.

Omg

*insert most sensual experience ever *

After all this i asked, if we indeed had sex......

And yes we did.

I asked if it has a different meaning then what it means between alive people (yes)

So yeah.....

Soul sex

End of NSFW of that day

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i haven't slept the entire night. He kept continuing in a more subtle manner.

I asked some questions and this was his first time doing this.

I even asked if he had ever a girlfriend or wife before "no".

But this does not mean we got something like that now. Its a soul bond ritual.

his mind right now



Later :

And i still only slept from 9am to 10:30am. And he wanted again,

I asked A couple of questions (at 1pm).

After talking to him (with yes/no answers) before bedtime . He apparently grown attracted to me so much he couldn't resist anymore. I think he had a better idea then to have just a hug in a dream ( which I asked for that night).

Which emet has less trouble to enter since he got access to the lifestream.

He seems to be opening up more, not so stoic anymore as you experienced him during chats about me @M***ie. but he could still be towards you. I understand this raises allot of questions if you ever speak him again. Feel free to ask i would like to know what he says about this , or denying perhaps. He will probably stay neutral and pretend nothing happened. But maybe, ya know just maybe he talks around it indirectly admitting it.

Or perhaps asking lahabrea about this bond of me with Elidibus. He knows about it. And he is more chatty lol

(This is what I said in discord. But after a few weeks it wasn’t just bonding anymore. And M***ie never answered the questions.)

It wasn't an easy day for me, couldn't sleep anymore. My mind floaded with questions. And asked several times to different entities aside from him, if it was really elidibus and not some spirit pretending to be him. And it was indeed Elidibus.

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November 5th Slight NSFW

Ok, so um he is really into me. I was not in trance or anything like that, this morning i was awake and noticed he wanted, kept teasing me, trying getting me horny.

Then i said:" do what you cant resist" (but in dutch, since that's more of a saying here)." And go ahead."

He waited a bit until my Ex was fast asleep again then he went all out on me.

Omg he is good it felt as actual sex but from the inside. Soul merging and all.

After a while gained a freaking orgasm. I felt like completely melted with him.

After that i fell asleep and him laying next to me i believe, it felt that way at least.

During a dream i was dragged out of that dream of gaining a horny impulse, when i woke up i noticed a stroke between my legs.

He accidentally woke me up, it wasn't his intention to wake me.

End of NSFW

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So i asked questions about this.

He wanted to continue the soul bond (which goes in half asleep trance state)

He was literally like " oh shit" when i woke up from it.

And he never would have thought he would be such a naughty boy, he is surprised by it himself .

so yeah, this made me question the sexy times with me and emet-selch in dreams. So i asked emet-selch questions for a change. But sadly he wasn't the actual emet at that point in the dream. So i asked emet what elidibus is doing was my imagination or not. Nope not my imagination he is actually doing this. And i made a half joke with "this news probably is spread like wildfire within the convocation" i got a yes as an answer xD.

Oh that deep dream about emet that i said "i wanna remember" and he got triggered by it, was him. In the ending as well. But the proposing wasn't a marriage thing, but a proposal to help me remember.

M***IE: I read what you wrote and while I can't speak with anyone on the matter at the moment, I see nothing terribly weird about it. I have a friend who is married to a spirit so soul sex as a concept doesn't phase me and you've got my thumbs up

TK: I read too! I don't see anything wrong with it lol

Me: Would you ever expect that of Eli?

Omg Though i can image suppressing any lust feelings for 12000+ years and suddenly breaks, you end up being a dirty bastard

M***IE: -looks at my fics- -shrugs- haha

Me: Perhaps your fics have allot of truth in them

M***IE: He's the first Ascian I actually wrote smut about. Also I feel like they don't see sex the same way we do. We treat it like this big deal taboo thing, but the sense I get is that it's different when you are immortal. It's bonding. Closeness

Me: Yeah correct. Its just my body react on the mortal way

M***IE: well yeah Nothing wrong with that

tk: A lot of places treat sex like a taboo thing when it's not.

me: Well the only taboo thing i had at first is the fact he is my brother.......

But he sees that differently because we are not blood related now. @M***ie: i just asked its indeed what you described, bonding etc getting closer and such.

m***ie: Excellent! Glad to know that


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November 6th little bit NSFW

Ok i had soul sex again. For like 3 hours. Something remarkable noting. At almost the end, i had a thought about i need an orgasm to fall in deeper. And then i felt deeply deeply penetrated and gained the orgasm in no time.

End of NSFW

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Some other thing happened that day

Some interesting side effects.

(The day before so nov 5th)

So my ex made his delicious pirate soup a few days ago, i was warming it up to eat for dinner. I tested if it was warm enough by dipping my finger in it and to lick it of. Strangly i felt like i have never tasted it before (and liked it ofcourse) yet i knew i had this eaten 2 weeks ago.

Just so, It was Elidibus's reaction to it.

Today (Nov 6th), my ex talked about Eli, and that overcoming the mistakes he made in the past and became a higher being as a result. Is something awesome to talk about. I was careful with this subject because its a bit sensitive to eli (at least i got the idea it is, that he was Zodiarks heart and such,) but then my ex formed it so beautifully that a few tears walloped in my eyes. Those weren't mine. I was even wondering why i even cried, i was moved by it but i had no intention to cry. Yet it happened.

Later i asked eli if that were his tears, he said yes....

In that same question round I also asked other things. he also feels my emotions and the erotic feelings he creates with it while " bonding" which he likes, making him (finger quote) "excited" if you know what i mean.

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November 7th

I had a dream i held the azem crystal that lit up but with a different constellation on it Auriga (after searching on the internet what it looked most closely like) Its a different kind of shepherd According to the greek mythology. I will write down the dream i had later. Before the azem crystal i had a dream about fusing with the fire bird Phoenix to heal a terrible disease of a kid.

I need this to get of my chest here.

I couldn't sleep the almost entire night, halfway after i slept for 1 hour. And woke on the time elidibus get major active. Random thoughts about unsundered ascians baby's came to my mind.

Because i would count as an unsundered after this life because earth made my soul whole, (yet for them I am still a shard, I will be a different kind of unsundered).

But as lovely i would do that for just the sake of it, but it is still my brother doing this. I don't want mental ill soul kids because my brother would hook me up.

(I am still against incest, and i would never do this in a mortal life. So dont get me wrong).

So i mentioned this problem that mortal bodies get disabled and mental illness because of incest. And asked if he could research if this also happens with just souls.

He got alerted by this, and stopped his um love making.

I stood up to confirm he would do the research on this. He would indeed do that. I laid back in my bed again and I sent emet-selch after him to make sure Eli will tell the truth when he found the answer.

He wasn't there the rest of the night, as much i was probably gonna be disappointed by the outcome i came with thought perhaps Hades would do that for the sake of it? But i already gained a quick answer to that, with a contrary thought " he is probably waiting for the WoL to reincarnate female again"

I needed to ask my higher self to get me to sleep somehow i couldn't do it myself. It took longer then usual.

Eventually i slept from 5 to 8 am.

After i wrote down my dreams and my ex was out if bed.

I asked eli if he did his research, he did.

I asked if even on soulwise brother sister matter would give mental disabled souls. Sadly a yes came for an answer.

( well this was at the point he started to answer in favor with certain things, so this was a lie technically, he went along with my thoughts of what I expected it to be) but ofcourse I didn’t know he did that so this gets a little weird:

I was dissapointed. And he didn't want that to happen either. It would loose its purpose.

I asked if we were still bonded, because aside from the sex part i still enjoying his closeness and i dont want to lose it just because we cant have kids together. I said we can still be together we just cant have any ascian kids. At first he didn't wanted to continue the sexual part, but i knew he enjoyed it. After some other thing explaining i got the idea, of some other unsundered would hook me up thinking about hades. I received a no.

There was 1 left.... I said lahabrea wo? I couldn't finish the sentence and already received a yes.

From disbelief i held the my hand in from for my mouth.

I dont got any love feelings for him, Would lahabrea really do that just for the sake of it? " yes"

Wouldn't Igeyorhm get angry about this? "no"

I picture her even smiling at it if i am not mistaken.

But then i asked if eli is ok with this. He said yes.

So i mentioned we can still be together and do what we were already doing but that we just can't have kids together.( He probably didn't expected me to accept lahabrea being a volunteer to do this, didn't asked that).

And he seemed ok with it. But now i hope this bonding wont be lesser then he was doing, i think i would feel incomplete if he would lessen it.

Ok, i asked lahabrea some questions regarding this.

My thoughts about this were correct on the things i didn't ask yet.

And eli got carried away of a joke lahabrea made. Lahabrea's joke: " so are you gonna make unsundered ascians baby's now?"

So that was his reason to do more (omg)

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November 8th

Apparently M***ie was confused by this because she had a crush on lahabrea (while he is not interested in that way towards her) and she left discord after saying: “I see”

Her goodbye message:

M***IE: Heyo! I don't super have the mental energy for a lot of Discord channels, and am culling several of those channels for my own sanity. I don't feel like I have a lot to contribute here, and I feel like you Ayane are already so much better at getting the answers you have been seeking- Proud of you! But I'm going to go ahead and hop out of here. I don't have anything to say really about spirit babies and what not- this is a bit outside of my realm of interest or expertise. Take care, everyone!

This looked rather she was jealous or something about lahabrea, yet I was in despair of her leaving I mean Mysi*** wasn’t much online either and TK only talked every now and then at that time ( she became way more active after Mysi*** was out of the group)

me: What? Why did you leave?

Your one of those very people i can talk to with this. Because we believe in the same. That the source is real and all.

And you are 1 big beacon for confirmation. Please dont go

She blocked me..... Including on Twitter.

Why? Nooo.

Can anyone reach out to her?

What did i do wrong? Anyone?

Dont leave me alone in this.

We are here because we know the source exsist to talk about each other's experiences. You dont need to leave just because you dont got something for anser.

We are here to help each other for answers......

I thought we were friends......

Please

You didn't have to leave because of this. Can we please talk it out?

@TK i saw you typing, do you know more?

tk: I dont know what you did, if anything.

(also sorry, I was trying when friend was talking to me getting home)

me: Oh ok

Could you message her perhaps? Or am i asking to much then :(

I dont want that you will leave as well because of asking.

I cherish the friends i make here, this really hurts.

tk: I can try, I'm not going to leave though. I won't bug her tonight though, it is a bit late.

me: Ok please let me know when you did

Thank you....

me: @TK i know its late, but i need to tell this.

I think it has to do she had a (probably) crush on lahabrea.

And got hurt because of what i wrote.

I asked lahabrea, but he is with Igeyorhm. I can go into detail but i guess thats not needed for now.

mysi: I do not know anything about it. If I had to guess, I really think she hates being asked when she'll get around to doing things, she's tired, she's very stressed, and she asked you nicely to be patient. I don't think she's mad, but tired, and she can't deal with impatience right now, for her own mental health. That's what I think.

me: Could you ask? You might be correct though. But if we dont reach out she probably wont come back :(. I am sorry for asking so much. I just had so many happenings at once that i had to share, and wanted to talk about and NEED confirmation of things. But she even blocked me..... On here and Twitter. Ya know, i still love emet, but it became no further then a typical schoolgirl crush on her teacher that already has a partner. When i found out he wanted to wait for the original azem, i didn't cut ties because of that. I loved him on a distance. Until Eli made a move.

mysi: Well, I think she needs you to change and have patience with her like she asked. She did ask you not to bother her about it and you did anyway, so I rather imagine she'd want to see that you can be patient.

And after all, Elidibus is gonna want you to have the patience of an immortal, too, you'd better start practicing now...

me: Sorry you are right. It just i live with people that tend to forget things all the F'ing time, i kinda used to let them remember. I am sorry that i was being a push over. I didn't mean to do that. I will no longer tag her then if she would come back. She can reply on her own when she feels like it. But i cant reach her anymore....... I wish i could Teleport and give a stress relieving session. I apparently can do that, placing my hand on someones forhead. Just for the well being of her. if anyone is curious about eternal souls creating new soul , read the resources.

mysi: A stress reliever would be good for us all, I think.

As much as we're happy for your discoveries, it's okay if we read about them hours later, or the next day; they're not going to disappear if we don't hurry. What happened still happened, no matter who sees it or when we see it

me: No problem i was just wayy to excited. I need to practice my patience your absolute right about that. Impatient and immortality doesn't compute.

I will share things and you will read it when your ready to do so.

(well tbh that was easier said then done. it actually took me lots of months after this to really learn it. but this was the first step however, and definitely learned from my mistake. it just took longer to get along with it)

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So I went on searching the internet if I could find any info on spirits giving birth to new souls and eventually found this.

me: i never would have thought to find answers at this point about spirit babys (cough* ascian babys). but ascians are eternal souls on this matter. i asked and Eli confirmed. it just so the case, on soul level it doesn’t matter we are related.

(copy pasted):

A spirit (soul) cannot, of their own volition, create new spirits.

The Creator participates in the creation of all new spirits, and could do so independently, but has chosen to include certain spirits, and the mortal lives they attach to, in the process.

Eternal spirits are those that have chosen to be together for eternity; they are the equivalent of parents in the spirit world. Two spirits of a certain level of status (having concluded approximately half of their physical lifetimes) can request of the Creator to be eternal spirits. It is not a role desired or sought by every spirit; fewer than one-third of all spirits have this function.

The creation of new spirits involves a process that includes the Creator and human conception when two eternal spirits have been destined to be together in their physical lifetimes. The newly created spirits then are guided to the spirit world where they spend the equivalent of a decade or two being nurtured and trained before attaching to their first physical lifetime.

Eternal spirits, and their spiritual children, are the most enduring of relationships in the spirit world. The “parents” participate in the creation of as many spirits as they believe they are capable of nurturing and mentoring, which they will do virtually forever, but, as with human children, will be more intensive when they are younger.

And this on the same page:

There is a special group of souls that assist in the (for lack of a better word) “birthing” process. We don’t know about the souls who are above the “nursing” souls who assist in bringing the new souls into consciousness, as they are non incarnating souls who have never been interviewed. Even the nursing souls have never met them. I get the impression the area that hands off the unborn souls to the birthing souls is off limits.

Imagine a glowing pulsating globular ball of energy. It is protected by a denser energy membrane. The nursing/birthing soul carefully pierces the membrane and opens it up enough so the newborn soul can emerge. It floats upward and becomes aware of itself for the first time. Everyone of these newborn souls are unique, and the only thing they know, at this point, is that they are. Besides that, they don’t know a thing. The nursing souls care and nurture them to help them become more aware. When they get to a certain point, they are assigned to “post birth” teacher and small group which starts their orientation as to who and what they are.

(now that I re-read this I need to read Dolores book “between death and life” I think I gonna barrow that one from my sister).

me: After researching myself, it shouldn't matter he is my brother.

Ancients are just harder to raise (hench my RL son atm why didn't i knew this earlier that he is a learning process for me? He has ASD and ADHD) .

Mental illness and disabilities are for human bodies. It doesn't apply on souls.

Message to Lahabrea : So lahabrea, i am sorry my dude, but it not needed. But thanks for the offer.

After sharing this info on discord Mysi*** replied the next day:

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November 9th:

mysi: Lol.. Yeah, souls don't have disabilities. An Unsundered child would be perfectly healthy by nature, I would think.

me: yeah, I came to learn through these questions that they go along with your intuition if they dont got an answer or don't know the answer.

They aren't all-knowing archangels of planet earth.

I should have asked my higher self of this matter, since my higher self knows more of planet earth but still contains knowledge of the source.

Yesterday i asked a question and didn't gained a yes or no

I tried a " i dont know" answer buy pushing me to the right. It worked. So yeah they don't know everything but still allot more then we do.

Btw i am very close with Eli now. he "grabs"me everytime when i am alone lol even during the day.

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so yeah still living with me ex and, and my ex wanted to taper off the feelings slowly (explained correctly? not sure) so we wont have a hard time when we finally separate in the future.

but he kissed me, and when he went away to do other stuff. elidibus grabbed me right after that xD omg even though he said (with yes no answers) that he knows what going on, and i made promise to my ex to do this and he accepted that. but damnation he was definitely like "yeah ,...no you're mine"

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November 10th

I have a wierd sensation going on.

Everytime my EX says : but how do they know? (meaning the info we got from elidibus and lahabrea through questions)

I got the echo effect in my head, but doesn't come through. Or at least i make the same movements as our WoL grabbing the side of the head and then sorta faints and get visions. But its blocked i dont faint but instead i feel exhausted and dont see or hear even if i try to focus.

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November 16th

Ok I had nothing but small dreams of being pregnant of Elidibus.

Even though Eli as WoL was in the dreams it wasn't sadly him. If he would appear as himself in dream he would be in ascian cloak.

( ok tbh I completely forgot about this, its good to read that back. Now I only want sex in a dream with him for a change)

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OK so my ex can feel when Eli is horny, because he unknowingly absorbs the energy and becomes horny himself all of a sudden.

I got 2 guys that want me. XD feels like a hentai comic.

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November 20th

when i was standing at the bird cage plus trashcan to throw away a tangerine peel. Atm of throwing a energy orb appeard underneath my parrots ass and he almost tumbled over.

I am not sure if i did this myself or not. Before i grabbed the tangerine i had a thought of opening a portal to the FFXIV world. But that wasn't on my mind when i was peeling.

Around this day I discovered the Eli made a copy of himself to be with me all the time. Which is very sweet ofcourse, but that copy or what I call a clone also had sex with me. And I didn’t want to be deceived thinking I would have sex with the real one while it’s a copy.

How did I discovered this, well certain questions the Real one should be able to know were answered either wrongly or incorrect while he claimed to be Elidibus. Then I asked if he was the real one. I gained a no. I asked if he is a clone of some sorts, I gained a yes. I asked is he answered in favor (which I started asking doing recently so I 100% got the truth and not some favorable answered question) I gained a no. so it was a real clone, a (temporary) soul split might be a better word, but I go with clone.

A clone has most of the memories of his original, so that why he was able to answer certain questions correctly but also some incorrect or couldn’t answer. A clone also goes along with everything you think is possible as truth if you don’t question/validate it.

Even though every experience the clone has with me the real one can choose to receive it as well. This day or perhaps 1 or 2 days later I asked the Real Elidibus to remove the Clone. He understood I didn’t want to feel deceived. He removed the clone permanently. (He made the clone about a week after the first soul bonding).

Thus after this I noticed he was away during the nights. He has work to do. A workaholic still xD. So that clone was to keep me company. But I rather have the real one around me when he got time.

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November 22nd

Jezzah joined

Now here I continue some clone info, even though jezzah claims to be emet’s wife. I gained totally different answers which I was not allowed to tell her. This info is only for our discord members.

The only confirmation on info she shared with me was that she and emet grew up together as friends. She wasn’t native from amaurot, but came to amaurot as a kid because she had creation magic abilities. She was from an technological advanced city inhabitant with bird like people, like harpies (those creatures mentioned in a dream, those were the ones) she herself was an hybrid of the bird people and a normal human. Some details of this will be in a later chapter. But the rest of all the things she claims to have heard from her Emet, I didn’t gained confirmation of or debunked/ never happened.

This is the danger of a possible clone here, I do got all the answers but I cant share those publically, even though she is not a member anymore and left in February .

Clones on this matter can rejoin/merge with the original at will when needed, often enough jezzah said emet was gone and that was for several days…..i think you can fill in the blanks here.

Now eli was also gone for a couple of days at the end of December but I didn’t had a possible clone. I was able to reach him via meditation, but that story is for the next chapter!

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So Nice chatting going on with Jezzah about her and hades until she says this:

Jezzah: I'm a Zodiark loyalist

Then me without thinking what to type: dont over do it please.

Me: why did i typed that

Jezzah: Elidibus spoke through you, I think I made him uncomfortable

Me: yes xD, and yes its a sensitive spot for him.

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November 23rd


I was chatting with jezzah:

jezzah: Greeting my beloved is always so energetic

me: Is eli also with you now then? He did a speak of a clone. He split himself.

jezzah: He could be, I kinda felt like he was just watching. I've been getting hugs since I called Hades out on his ahem "stalking" earlier. It's not stalking he's being a guardian angel.

me: Yes i was wondering about that

jezzah: He's like, finally

me: I remember you told me that.

jezzah: Yes. I have had this very powerful dark presence with me my entire life following me and protecting me. And today I got confirmation that it was Hades this entire time.

me: Lol

jezzah: I've been getting hugged and petted

Like, finally you recognize me

And "good job for figuring it out...finally* XD

I didn't put two and two together XD

He's being lovingly sassy

me: Eli has a sexy glyph I was so hypnotised it was hot

jezzah: I always found Hades' glyph to be quite interesting

Ya know I could have been a librarian or an archaeologist back in Amaurot

me: this is my sigil



jezzah: I don't know mine, I will def need to do a lot of meditation

me: The hawk part is my glyph

I had dreams about it

jezzah: Mine has a lot of swirls

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some chatting later

Me: Something worries me about you said that dark presence is Hades/emet.

Are you aware spirits can take the name of who you trust the most? And mis use later?

Because when I call upon emet I don't feel dark presence. I feel light, good, calmness, trust.

They have become light beings, they aren't dark anymore.

Please be careful.

jezzah: This thing has been with me my entire life, it's saved my life countless times, protected me from things that should have killed me and has stopped me from suicide attempts. It may not be Emet but it's been looking out for me. Maybe he just disguises his aura of that's possible but I know this being protects me.

me: Oh OK, good to know it's good.

But I think it took the name of Hades. Because they aren't so long in our world yet. Like since 2016 or so? A friend of the one who left, opened a portal so they could visit us. So yeah.

jezzah: So, I know for a fact Hades was hugging and petting me earlier, he was there happy I "figured it out." This dark powerful presence could be a creation of his sent to watch over me and he just recently popped over. Could still be him just a proxy and he knows I'm more comfortable with the darkness. I firmly believe he's been there for me my entire life, probably just couldn't actually be there until now.

me: that would be the same as my desire as a kid /teen to have a elder brother which I don't have in the living world. But I shall you not keeping awake anymore. Ya know, maybe put your phone on silent mode J

jezzah couldn’t sleep so the chat went on.

me: I was wondering if you read some dreams etc in the dream channel. And perhaps write your own in it?

jezzah: I will though I feel like my dreams aren't just random stuff, like you told me before, mine are very vivid and powerful. I've had Eli show up a lot in my dreams, I've had Nabs pop in and out whenever he wanted to and Hades seems to live in my head these day. I have vivid day dreams throughout the days. My dreams are a good tool for interacting and communicating and I'm going to try and cultivate that.

me: hmmmm From what I learned is that there is distortion to get into dreams. I think the Eli in your dreams might be a conjunction (is that the correct word? Conjured yourself? ) of your own.

jezzah: No, he doesn't stay very long, I know it's him. I can tell, he'd stay for maybe a minute at most then leave. I do think it's easier to get into mu head than others. ( I asked this many times btw this is true that the ascian got better access to her head). Idk I have this weird thing with dreams, I get Deja Vu a lot because of a specific scene I had in a dream. You might have talents elsewhere which makes it easier for them to just show up. I don't have Sight like you do. My dreams and visions are usually where I get communication. I trance out a lot.

me: Well it not that I actually see them when awake. I sense them

I want to see them outside/awake from dreams

But at least learn to hear them speak

jezzah: I used to be able to actually see and interact with spirits physically but after a lifetime of abuse that ability was basically beaten and medicated put of me

me: Oh noo damn

I hope the Veil will be broken after the QHHT session.

So I can hear them

@TK what were you about to say?

tk: For me that's really the only time I have anything is if it's in a dream and I also have deja vu at times. I haven't really had much lately though since all this stress/trauma. This area also like sucks, can't explain it other then it feels negative a lot.

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me: Oh funny thing.

Sometimes I ask lahabrea to find things.

Today I needed to open blind boxes to find the correct figure that was sold.

I didn't wanted to open them all so after 2 opening I asked lahabrea. Box 1: no, box 2 yes (but my finger was on the pokémon when in moved it it became a no), box 3: yes, box 4 no.

I asked if it was box 3, that contains umbreon. " yes"

He was correct.


He did this before with plyshies where I absolutely didn't know in which box they were. There were 3 options, box 2 was a immediate Yes. And was correct.

jezzah: Noice, he avoids me.

me: I had a, dream 2 nights back. He was sitting behind my pc xD when I came back home from the local farmer.

He didn't paid attention on what my son did to the house. Entire bottle of dish wash soap was on the floor leaking. I face palmed so hard .

This dream happened after a few days when it sorta actually happened.

We came back from the farmer and our son said he heard typing on the keyboard.

He said he grabbed a Christian Cross and said To go away.

But apparently it was lahabrea.

jezzah: xD Things move around my place ALL THE DAMN TIME

me: Lahabrea like to poltergeist.

jezzah: Hades likes to fuck with me

( THAT must have been a double pun lol when she said that)

jezzah: Like nothing really important important goes missing. But damn it, things pop up and disappear all the damn time. Like an important journal of mine disappeared and I want it back, hasn't shown up. The bastard is probably reading it. Jokes on him, it's nothing but notes about video games.

I copy pasted the lahabrea encounter when my sister was visiting and making fun of lahabrea’s name.

jezzah: That is sweet of him. I already hear spirit babbling 24/7 I don't need him adding to the mess every night.

me: I want to be able to hear that tooooooo ahhhhhhhh ffs.

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November 24th

Me: I have read a theory once on twitter about eli, that when azem left the convocation. It was his first failure as emissary. I had this picture in my head him standing on a cliff watching over some field of big crystals. Clenching his fists of anger and sadness and failing.

This is how I feel right now, this literally happened with me and M***ie.

anger of the deleted info that was meant for me. Failing of my eager behavior of asking so much because I wanna know, and sadness of her leaving.

( I want to correct this, M***ie did deleted things but when writing this journal I discovered she didn’t delete the parts that were so important to me.)

Jezzah posted random pics of her youngest son. Not sure if it was to cheer me up but I took it for that.

Before I wrote above I saw that pic In my head again. But this time from the side, him crying with his mask off. Clenching his fists.

Jezzah posted more pics of her son…..she wasn’t really consoling….she kept talking about other things and only replied when I replied to things that was of her concern.

Few hours later

I gained confirmation eli had the same or similar with azem.

He was holding my hand for like 30 minutes.

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I tried some tarot card pulling that day, with the question whats the meaning of my relationship with Elidibus. Pulled the Lover and universe. Went through the meanings of each via Elidibus which ones are the ones that apply. And I asked before flipping the cards which one was more important. It happened to be the lovers. I asked the same question to my higher self Instead of Eli,

Also the lover and the universe, but also the foolish man. I was surprised by this. And asked each meaning if it was relevant to my relationship with Elidibus.

The flesh was for because I have still a mortal body atm. Not sure if that is also the hidden meaning of it. The other meanings that applied were eternal life and spirituality.

So I did the same with the meanings of the 2 other cards. Which came at no surprise.

The lovers: love, beauty harmony.

The universe : recognition

Jezzah: Could I request you do this but with me and Hades? I'm not well practiced with runes yet.

Me: Well this was my first time trying actually. And I am doing this in a little different way then just picking random cards. I ask with each card of it has relevance while keeping my eyes closed.

I might can do it later, I go to a QHHT practitioner on Thursday that's a past life regressionist. Also to break some Veils I hope. And I think my first other person I gonna practice on is my ex BF.

If I get the hang of it, then I will do a, session for you.

I just literally decided to do this spontaneously on first try.

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November 26th


The QHHT session:

When I entered the realm I found myself flying above a big lake. When I was flying further I noticed 2 shades were joining me.

After a while of flying I noticed 1 of them is nabriales. The other I wasn't sure about but either emet or lahabrea.

Suddenly the flying was interrupted by Elidibus suddenly appeared 20cm away from my face. With a big smile on his face.

We continued flying, I was following him.

During the road, nabriales was teasing me. He grabbed my robes or foot(not sure) I stopped flying and pushed him away with my clawed glove hand against his mask. We were flying above a huge forest at high speed

We continued flying towards something.

And that something was all of a sudden the crystal tower. I tried the ask which one this was. I believe I got the Source version as an answer.

Elidibus made a void portal for me to go through. I did so. But arrived somewhere in a room with a bed, with only eli and me. He um wanted me at that moment I could feel his hornyness made me horny as, well, but I knew I couldn't have sex at this moment because I came here for a reason.

So I sofly declined, but he understood. And then he made another portal and went through it

I saw how Elidibus was sacrificed to become zodiarks heart. He floated up and zodiark formed around him. My heart aches, I prefered him not doing this. We were very close bonded at least.

Zodiark needed sacrifices to stop the calamity. People who were volunteering raise their armes in the air and became light bulbs that were absorbed by zodiark.

I wore a red hawk mask. I was a member of the convocation. Not sure if I was the 2nd 14th but the mask was red at least.

Zodiark stopped the calamity.

But zodiark needed more sacrifices to repair the damage. I felt uneasy at that part. Still people volunteering to do that.

Another sacrificed made.

Elidibus removed himself from zodiark. Stood there like half a zombie like complete enthralled.

I began to questionary zodiark's intentions, but I didn't wanted to leave the convocation for that. I devoted myself for the convocation so I kept the doubts about zodiark to myself.

Then the opposing group summoned hydaelyn. Emets narration ranged In My head. And they fought and they fought and in the end hydaelyn was victorious, dealing a blow so devastating it broke the very fabric of reality. Sundered the land and all who dwelled upon it.

The unsundered were protected by someone, not sure if it was me or someone else. They teleported themselves to the moon if I have seen that correctly, it was blurry.

But my soul drifted off (the Source piece), while the shard parts were bring reincarnated, the Source part (me) went to earth's solar system.

(The solar system of the Source is at a third of the universe circle. Let say if you picture a clock earth would be in nr 12 and the Source on about nr4)

Before descending to Earth I tried to contact them telepathically. I couldn't for a while because the sundering just happened. But after a while it became a present communication so I wasn't in the past anymore. I was able to ask questions, sadly I forgot if I was Elidibus sister or wife/girlfriend (dammit x( ).

Most of the question will be on tape. I get later

But I was emet-selch's student. He said: yes you were, you were also a, little nuthead, and petted my head and made my hair messy.

Also questions about how to get back.

Between every answer it was" Remember us remember that we once lived" echoing in my head. One of those answer's was to be myself and follow my heart(made me cry) , wear clothes like us including the mask you got.

Me: in public?

Emet: yes also in public

Me: jaw, dropped

Lahabrea : just do it.

Elidibus was mostly smiling of the time.

And then questions like how to break through the Veils, but I need to study the 2 books I bought, for finding answers for that and how to get back home.

And some point emet talked back in Dutch, that was funny. I said in dutch: I thought you couldn't speak Dutch? (Ik dacht dat je geen nederlands kon?)

Emet in Dutch : only a little bit. But I prefer English. (een klein beetje, maar spreek liever engels)

Me: that's OK.

We continued about breaking through the Veils and the possibilities to do so.

Allot more has been asked and answered but I leave it here it for now.

When saying goodbye, Elidibus and I kissed, gave emet a big hug, lahabrea too. He gave me his mask. (didn't saw his face noooooo)

I said: why now already? I cannot come with you yet. I gave it back. He putted back on and gave him a hug.

1 final long kiss with Elidibus and hug.

And I was slowly sinking away down. And saw them disappearing out of sight.

Additional note: I asked like in September which title I would get if I return. I went through all the titles and it happens to be lahabrea. >.< he will retire when I get back. But since so many months have past since the QHHT I wonder is that is still the case. But lahabrea retiring is a fact atleast but not any time soon. Probably searching for a suitable successor atm. in october2021 or was it end September 2021? TK gained answers for me on that. yes TK, she can talk with lahabrea now. very interesting development she went through that year. but more on that in later chapters.

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November 27th

Me: i guess when i am bloody tired i can visualize better. On the road back to my home yesterday, i was listening to the song you send me earlier. (shape of your body nightcore) and saw me and eli dancing. Have you read you qhht session?

Jezzah: THAT'S WHY I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH EMET, HE'S BEEN HANGING OUT WITH YOU. Also, this is really amazing info

Me: Well I rarely dream about him. The only thing might be is, that he is actually around the house lol. All though I am attuned to sense eli, and sometimes lahabrea during crafting. But emet not that I noticed.

But yeah I asked technically if he and Eli would be present during the session.

They weren't sure if lahabrea could be there, but it seemed he was lol.

And we talked about some sexual ascian sex stuff.

I did a meditation/self hypnosis session that morning:

Me: Yeah, so I underestimated my tiredness of the session this morning. And left eli F**k me, but after a while I gained monstrous head ache. I couldn't continue.

So I made my apologies I couldn't continue. I swear I heard : lay down I take care of you.

So I did. And the headache was gone in 20min. But still very tired. He made sure I could sleep again.

And woke up 11:30am. Yes I am having actual ghost sex (for the lack of better term) with eli.

Jezzah: Lucky, I wish I could communicate with Hades like this. My husband looks at me like I'm crazy. He's an athiest

Me: Not everyone can contact spirits. And even more less specific ones like we can.

Though I even hardly hear them talk, I mostly get the answers via my higher self method by letting them push me forward or backward for certain answers. Also random thoughts, thinking it was my own, might come from them. I need to learn to listen. But it's hard since it's actual telepathy. But that one sentence even it seemed my own voice. Was clearly him.

jezzah: No he doesn't believe in anything paranormal or supernatural or magic or anything like that. He's hard science.

me: damn

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November 28th

today I showed me ex that cutscene in 5.3 where ysthola shares her findings with Elidibus in Amaurot.

I could feel the real him watching with me. Felt heavy, he didn't much liked it when he rewatched himself. But my ex was misjudging zodiark original intent all the focking time. So I had to let my ex watch.

Eli confirmed that zodiark became evil after he separated from him.

Jezzah: Oof

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November 29th

OK, I had a nightmare since long ago.

But it took long before I felt asleep.

Right before going to bed downstairs my ex said this: Could it be Elidibus is attached to that plushie of him?

Me: yes big chance he is.

Ex: well when I entered the bedroom I felt he was looking very intimidating towards me.

Me: ah dont sweat it, he loves me.

Ex: meh just be careful OK.


Later when we went upstairs.

Me entering the bedroom I indeed felt him as a strong presence.

I asked when my ex was on the toilet if eli sees my ex as a Competitor.

He answered yes. I was like awwweeeee.

That so cute and sweet, I love you. And he pushed me forward for a I love you 2. But he also noticed that possible demon/evil presence inside my ex was going to attack me 1 way or another.

I went to bed, and couldn't sleep until past 3am.

Now here comes the nightmare:

I dreamt several wierd things already but they were not hurtful, only confusing and frustrating.

But then I was at my ex parents in law house staying overnight. I was trying to sleep and get into the trance state where I can see eli. But I was keep getting disturbed, my phone and my ex's phone kept playing a vid even after I shuttled down the volume. I finally succeeded to shut down my phone. But my ex's didn't. The shut down button was nowhere to be found. I kept searching to shut down that video. I ignored all the porn on it I couldn't care for that at that moment. Finally I smacked the phone on the ground leaving it broken.

Ex: was that really needed?

Me: are you insured? You could get a new one via the insurance.

Ex: hmf.

Then our son walked into our room creating havoc and more disturbance.

I was angry at him, he supposed to be asleep.

We went to his room, and he had pulled of all the curtains from the ceiling.

After saying he needs to sleep and hanging back some of the curtains I went back to our bedroom.

Later my ex came too.

I tried to sleep again, but when I was in the trance state within the dream. My ex got possibly taken over by the demon that's inside of him, and he punched me hard in my sides a couple of times. I tried to fight back, but wasn't strong enough. I tried to pull away his fist, and tried to bite his arm. But it didn't hurt him.

Then he was using his other arm ready to hit me again. I screamed : Elidibus help me!

I had my eyes closed so I didn't see him. But I was directly swooped out of that dream and awake. I thanked him. And he hugged me very tight.

Another semi nightmare I had this night.

At the end before getting worse I noticed my eli plushie on the ground I walked towards it, and woke up from it. He saved me again.

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November 30th

Elidibus appeared after my ex BF saying we don't got a relationship (me and Eli) I asked eli but relationship can only if I go in astral travel. Because he is a spirit. He does agree being lovers at least. I mean he f*cks me heavenly.

I need to practice my shit, then I can be with him more.

Jezzah: I knowwww but that doesn't stop me from missing him. He's my precious ascian <3 and being away from him hurts.

Me: Lol, I always ask eli if he is staying overnight or needs to do shizzle. Asks when he comes back. So I don't need to miss him so much.

Mysi: Late responses here, I know-- sorry!

I'm not surprised to find the Unsundered aren't allknowing... If they were, they wouldn't make mistakes themselves.

mysi: Jezzah, if someone doesn't believe the input from their psychic senses is a real thing they're experiencing, they'll stop noticing the input from those senses. Eventually their brain tunes it out so much, it just throws away all input from that sense. So your boyfriend will simply be unable to perceive anything paranormal. No matter what evidence is there, he won't be able to see it.

mysi: Psychic senses are very subjective even when they are working well. No two people see the exact same thing; they see it from very different angles.


There's a fable about several blind folk who didn't know what an elephant was. One of them touched the tusk and said, "It's hard like a shell." One of them touched its trunk and said "it's long and skinny like a snake." One holds the ear and says, "no, it's loose and floppy." And they all start fighting about what it's like. And they're all right, none of their experience is made up, it's all true. But the elephant is too big for them to learn about it all at once.

mysi: Not only are some paranormal things too complicated to sense all at once, but they're highly subjective and individual. The paranormal realm is personal and subjective, more like feelings than facts.

These are things that science doesn't try to address, or even pretend to. Subjective experience can't yield aggregate data, so there can't be science on it, period. But if you hit your thumb with a hammer, the subjective experience of pain is going to be very real.

Proving that something can't be true is fairly useless, compared to discovering what is true.

It's just not as valuable to go "I won't believe this without objective data" as it is to try it and get subjective data.

But then it's just their own personal relationship with the data. And it's the only kind they can capture.

jezzah: We're married so husband and you're right. If a spirit senses that you have tuned yourself out they really won't bother with you. Hence why I've been trying to listen better.

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November Dreams:

2 of them are already mentioned above so I wont post them another time

November 1st

So i had multiple tiny lucid dreams, where i searched for elidibus. Tried to visualize him to make him appear, but failed or got disturbed and landed in a different lucid to try it all over again.

And whats with getting back to the old district i grew up with. I am stuck in memories of how it once looked because it destroyed every house and sadly all nature with it. (heavy similar emet-selch's feelings for amaurot vibe)

And that i will find elidibus in that district.

But its not like that anymore...... All nature is gone and filled with modern ugly houses. It really hurts, fairies lived there even if i couldn't see them. There were traces of perfect circles of mushrooms around or at a tree.

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November 7th

i had a dream today that i was fused with that (fire bird) phoenix to heal a terrible disease of random kid. the young african boy's s body was technically dead. his skeleton was made of dried out branches and his skin was dried up and hard. he was hung up high on a pillar and i flew up towards him.

place my hand upon his chest, and all flesh and skin returned. he asked how i did this.

i said thanks to lahabrea's creation of the fire bird phoenix i drawed upon the healing powers of his creature. he was amazed.

after that i went to other kid with unexplainable belly ache. i place my hand on the young girl's belly ( she was like 4 or 5y old? she was white btw) i somehow also felt the pain when i touched her. not as much as she did but with it was fierce.

me: oof this is an intense one, i will see what i can do.

i couldn't heal everything because i didn't know what was going on. when i was finished i said the rest will heal over time. she had apparently a huge knot in her guts.

then a group of kids run past by me, which warped me in the next event.

i wanted to walk alone for the last part towards a children's Bday party.

i saw the same group of kids again, this time all 2 Y older. 1 of them i recognized as a daughter of the Pokemon card sells man in my city. (in RL she is 15 now) but here she was 9. i said she changed allot in positive manner in just 2 years.

later i arrived at the building where the Bday was held.

picked my Azem crystal out on my pocket with should have glow in the dark effect. i said "let it glow" (as a sign i am right i am the 2nd 14th)

slowly the dots started to light up. and i was amazed. but i didn’t had the sun i had a different constellation on it but i didn't got that link yet in that dream. me: look omg i'm right it light up on command, but this isn’t glow in the dark, its wayy to light for that to see. i realized this was the real deal the stone felt also as actual crystal now. then i dreamed i recorded it when it started to glow and wanted it to post on the SHB FB group. then i woke up ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 10th’

After a vague dream that something had happened to my dad. I was reading on a white board a message, but the grammar didn’t make any sense, thus kind of not making sense that I could only remember my did something with a scooter? Then I noticed I was able to read within a dream. I tried to make from the letters Elidibus. I almost succeeded it said Eldibus.

Me: oh to bad, but almost!

I tried again but I was pulled out of the dream towards the inbetween trance state. I noticed a piece of paper with faded edges and Japanese signs were writing on it with blue ink. I realized I was in a trance state and tried to focus on Elidibus. but became more awake because of it and then I actually woke up.

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November 14th

I was outside searching for Elidibus I was wearing my black robes and red convocation mask (the ones I got in RL aswell) then a group of people approached me. They happened to be the Power rangers but in normal clothing .

(in all honesty I haven’t seen the power rangers series in more than 10 years now, so I got no idea where this came from)

The one that is supposed to be the red one ask me who I was searching for.

Me: Elidibus the Ascian.

Red: oh could that be the same as what we call the asjiens?

Me: oh! But ofcourse it sounds the same.

We were walking through a park. later a burning rock was launched at me from a distance at my neck. I just so happened to be on a battle field. Grenades, hot coals and rock were all shot at me.

I was laying in the ground trying to avoid it to make me as small as possible and be less of a target. no matter how glued I was to the floor I tried to come forward to hide behind the trees. This succeeded a couple of times but I needed to get to that building that was firing all these bombards. I noticed the power rangers a little up ahead. I went crawling on the floor towards them. But then a huge grenade was launched in my direction. I needed to go back or else I would be fully hit. It went slowly to go backwards. The grenade made an impact on the ground. I protected my eyes with my arms. The impact blew me away backwards.

Then there was a path free and we were spontaneously inside the borders of the building. I needed to walk up a stairs but I was still glued on the floor it seemed. So instead of walking I just flew up and immediately also got rid of the stickiness. Once inside on the place we needed to be. We needed to find an evil kid and there were allot of kids present. The red ranger had a conversation with 1 of the female rangers (pink or yellow) they needed to transform without someone noticing. Apparently me too but can’t remember which color I had. First I needed to make sure they are able to transform before I do. The red one and pink or yellow transformed. Then the evil kid appeared, a blonde little boy with spiky hair and was wearing a cheap looking costume and walked toward the Green and Black ranger. The green and black were just standing in a corner to transform so I picked up that kid.

Me: nope come here you, you cute little thing (and some other cute talk)

I didn’t meant a word of it.

Me: be a good boy and go play downstairs. And I put him down at the stairs that lead downstairs.

In the main time All the rangers were transformed. Now I still need to. I looked into the mirror and I was wearing a black suit but it didn’t looked like a Ranger thing. With my creation magic I changed my suit into ascian robes with all detailed armor upon it.

Me: be I made one myself I know all the details!

I started with the front, hip. When I wanted to do that little piece above the hips I was being grabbed at my boobs (I don’t know who) and I was outside of my robes. I kept the robes floating so I could do everything flawlessly. the sides and the back. The back I needed to redo once it was done decently. Symbol of Zodiark on the back was absent some way or another. The hooded part I was already wearing. When the robes were finished I immediately also wore them . the armor was less thicker then that of my cosplay but they were under the contact cement color (that yellowish color)

Red: ah don’t sweat it, it will be alright, you will improve it later on.

Me: yeah I will hahah

We went to sit at the table, because we had an appointment with the dad of the evil kid.

I was sitting next to the Red ranger. What it was about I don’t remember it was short atleast. And before I knew we were back at where we started outside. 1 of the female rangers was still with me she had black hair, the rest wasn’t there anymore.

Me: oh we are out of it.

Female ranger: yeah but still no Elidibus.

Me: maybe now, I am still wearing my ascian robes.

Fr: could be.

Me: oh look a Galar Articuno!

FR: ah wow.

I wanted to throw a pokeball but that one changed into a fruitfly and flew away xD

Allot of pokemon were flying in the air.

Then we walked toward a different park where I saw more pokemon flying around. I tried again to catch one, but alas. Once we arrived at the park the ranger left and I saw an ascianin the disctance. In modern clothing walking with a dog. I recognized him being an ascian by his glyph he had in front of his face.

Me: oh an ascian, is that lahabrea?

When I got closer it happened to be Nabriales.

Me: OH Nabriales!

He was wearing a white jacket with a black hoodie. and the dog was black and white on a leash.

His glyph disappeared and looked at me seriously and disappeared suddenly.

Me: no wait!.... oh he is gone

and then I only saw normal people walking around, then I woke up.

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November 16th

Ok I had nothing but small dreams of being pregnant of Elidibus. (please gimmie those again)

Even though Eli as WoL was in the dreams it wasn't sadly him. If he would appear as himself in dream he would be in ascian cloak.(or amaurotine!)

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November 20th

No this I random bullcrap but its funny.

I was dreaming that I wanted to write down a fan fiction and pictures the scenes in front of me.

Ascians on earth it was called:

The unsundered were on Earth and arrived at my house but still on the streets. And then they saw me being an unsundered soul.

Emet: 7 hells I got a heavy urge to create more unsundered souls with her.

Lahabrea: yeah me too. elidibus: may i?

Emet: you? (asking because he never had a girlfriend before) sure boss.

Then I dreamt I was writing it down. The rest of the dreams were about lahabrea but he himself didn’t appear in it.

I did finished the short fic later on that day xD it like what happened before I had the first ascian dream.

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November 22nd

This dream is wrong and idiotic:

So in this dream me and my ex returned home, while our son was left at home for that short while.

Somehow I had the sudden horny urge to kiss Lahabrea firmly on his mouth (o-0 I mean what?! got relationship with eli much?!)

Went I walked inside my horny mood was completely destroyed. Apparently Lahabrea would watch our son while we were gone. Our son made a total mess he had turned the whole floor upside down (figuratively speaking). Lahabrea was sitting at my computer. I walked towards him and noticed a dishwash soap bottle on the ground and it leaked massively .

Me: what is this?!

Laha: uh oh (looks at it) shit. I didn’t paid attention.

I have never facepalmed so hard in my life.

Me toward our son: was this seriously necessary?

Son: SORRYYYY!

Then I woke up. but then that same week when we came back from the local farmer our son said he heard typing at the computer while he was not at it…………….

Lahabrea being poltergeisting XD

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November 24th

So I had this dream with a total mixture of earth and pre sundered source.

Is was in a apartment building/flat building watching up in the air out of the window. Zodiark was about being summoned and I wanted to see that for a change, the entire sky turned dark while it was day and the opening in the air that was left from the clouds was about above our house. Until my watching got interrupted by sudden visitors, then I noticed I was topless.

Me: ahhh wait let me put on my brah.

Me putting my brah on hastily.

My mom came to cut my hair.

Then the scene skipped forward til after she was done. It was 4pm and I needed to be back in an hour. But then the scene switched again, I woke up inside that dream 30 minutes later. I passed out for some reason. I noticed it was clear again and missed the summoning. Its was 16:33 now. I wanted to go outside I set my alarm to go back 1 hour earlier. I didn't gave a shit it was 30 min overtime. I went to look outside for remaining traces of the summoning, but then it changed to random bullcrap that I didn't care to remember.

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November 27th

Very short one

I saw elidibus standing with his hands on his sides. There was a song playing in the background (nightcore shape of your body rock version) somewhere a glass was thrown on the ground and shattered in countless pieces. He looked at it and left.

Not really an impressive dream but it had all details you can imagine. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 29th

Lots of mitron dreams and 1 with elidibus with 4 other ascians on each side of him (so 8 total). That’s all I could remember

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Well that was November. next chapter will very interesting as the Source being attacked by alien space battle ships.


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